Oct 2007; This little piggie had loads of roast beef and ^This^ little piggie would have none of it!

[Dalrymps]

Psst over here!

LLL- on the fringe! We need to see a piccie xx

Stefka - I think the job in the school sounds the best option, I know it's only till May but you can then start to look around as it's always easier to get a job when you have a job. This could be a good stepping stone. Supply is always slow at this time of year as teachers aren't really on many courses and they?re not ill being the start of the term but you know that already [again] have you approached schools directly? Might be an idea to fire off your CV + letter to 10-15 schools you'd like to work in that do your subject and see what the result is. (Sorry if you've done this already x)

Dal -that's a lovely compliment re the life coaching wish I was a good at giving myself advice! Good you got your laptop working, I'm with you on the 'oh my life, what would do without mnet!'

Haven't told you all yet but dh was called about a job in Abu Dhabi, great package (tax free salary, schools paid for, medical paid for, flights home + housing allowance and bonus plus 6 weeks holiday and half days in Sept) we talked about it and decided to go for it. Dh has a telephone interview tomorrow and if they like him then it's psychometric tests and a session with a psychologist. The contract is for 2 years and would start in Jan. It's a bit daunting but we've been talking about possibly working abroad and then settling back here when Ollie needs to go to secondary school. It would mean that we could definately afford another baby and dh has been talking about this as something he'd like to do (YIPPEEE!)
I miss my family like mad but they're in Canada so we'd see them about the same as we do now, Dh's family we see once/twice a year so, again, wouldn't see them any less. I would miss my friends as would dh and our life here but I/we feel the need for a new challenge...

What do you all think? Would you??

Muppet - Sounds amazing, a great package! I think it sounds like the perfect solution for you as a family.

It can only be good for the kids too as they'll have lots of wonderful experiences i'm sure

Obviously, the main concern is, can you still get on mumsnet from there??? If so then i'll allow you to go

...do you know Dal, that's the best bit...

I CAN TAKE YOU ALL WITH ME!!!!!

where do I sign???

That is so exciting Muppet! What does your DH do?

Ugh Dareh is in such a grump - three hours until bed time and counting.

The school job is totally the best option, my fear is that I withdraw from the other one and then don't get the school job and end up with nada.

Ok Dareh is screaming his head off - back later.

My dh is in risk management and works on the dealing room floor at Nomura (Japanese bank)

He "designs, builds it systems and models that calculate trade valuation and risk metrics" (I just asked him )

nope, I don't understand it either

Ha well I am none the wiser from that description!!! I wish my DH could get a job that he enjoys. He is so able - scored top marks at his uni back in his own country, getting top marks on his HND now but can't get an opportunity. There is so much racism in Scotland it's shameful. I am guessing he is happy right now because Macedonia just won the footie. I don't much care as long as he is home for bath time. Today has been long and I need it to be over soon! I hate the weekend. Being on your own all day seems more manageable in the week plus I can escape to the gym during the week. Sat and Sun just drag by.

muppetgirl - great news on the job front ... an added bonus is that your toxic MiL would be even further out of the picture!

stefka - have you tried contacting schools direct? All the schools I have worked in have jad their preferred supply teachers, and only if they're not available, do they ring the agencies.

I'd go for the school job too - although I can see why the other one attracts you, you seem to be giving reasons why you don't want to go for it ...

Can't remember who was asking about car seats - our local brach of Halfords was great. We went to Eddershaws (where we've got all our other seats from), but they were so far up their own @rses, it wasn't true!

am in the middle of making onion soup - my eyes are streaming, and the screen is all blurry!

speak later!

hi crochet - that thought never occoured to me x

It works differently up here - you have to register with the local council and they deal with it all. So I am registered with my council and any school in the area who needs supply contact them. I really don't want to do supply as I will be crap at it. I think I am good at teaching my own subject but really awful when it comes to doing cover classes. I am just too soft and hate confrontation. Possibly I shouldn't even be a teacher but I do love my subject and working with young people.

Impressed with the soup making!!!

What age are the meant to move up to the next car seat? Or is it a weight thing?

Ladies can't believe I have left it so long! Adam's sleeping hasn't improved any - it's got worse if anything as he has had a cold and is teething. Still not on Alex's and Rebecca's level but tiring none the less... Not a hope of remembering everything so sorry if I have forgotten anything crucial and hello to all!

Muppet omg about abu dhabi! Sounds very exciting though - keep us posted...

LLL hope the weather wasn't as truely atrocious where you are - we have been practically drowned! Hope wedding went well...

Choc congrats on becoming an auntie! Look forward to hearing all about it on Wed... And great that R is showing she can sleep - saw your dh on my way into work on Thurs (or was it Fri?) and he said she was doing better...

Floria sorry you felt low with the anniversary of losing Robyn but like others have said it's no surprise really - wonderful as Alex is you will never be able to replace her. The pain may become less raw over time but she was still your little girl... Missed where you're off to but hope you have a lovely time...

Crochet hope you're doing OK back at work. And congrats to Mairwen on her steps!

Dal try not to worry about the purees. Sam wouldn't eat lumps for ages - well over a year - so don't stress. Just blend away - he'll get there eventually! When Sam started to get the hang of it it was with things that he could see the lumps - like pasta or beans - rather than mushy stuff. So maybe try those from time to time?

Stefka I am a bad mum too - Adam fell down the top 3 stairs the other day too - I had forgotten to shut the stairgate and came out of his room with his stuff for the bath to see him disappearing over the top! Luckily we have a mini landing 3 steps down where he stopped. I think he was more upset by my reaction which I am sure most of you can imagine . I was really shaken up for ages and he got to the 'yeh mum stop hugging me I want to go PLAY!!!!' Just have no idea how I could have forgotten to shut it but like dh said he's fine and I won't be doing it again!!!

Anyway best head off now ladies as I am off to feed Adam in a min. We have resmed the late feed tonight as he had nothing before he went to sleep so he is bound to wake up otherwise. Going to have a bit of a chat tomrrow as to how we proceed I think... ANyway I'll try to be on a bit sooner next time!

xxxxxxxx

Hey Alice - sorry the sleep is still bad. Dareh only just started to sleep better in the last few weeks so I sympathise. What have you tried so far?

Stefka it was great until we stopped the dream feed a week ago. He would sleep through from 2230. He has had a cold and teething this week so not rocket science that he's not sleeping so not concerned just tired!!!

Anyway dreamfed him last night as he had no milk at all when he went to bed and he slept till 7am!

Ah good

Dareh did 7-7:30!! He's like a different baby!

muppet - great news on the job front for your hubby, sounds fantastic, I would go like a shot

Well the big man upstairs did us proud yesterday, the rain stopped an hour before the wedding and we even had a few glimpses of sun and blue sky so managed to get some nice photos. I drank far too much (feel crap this morning) and danced loads I stupidly deleted all the photos I had taken all day during dinner though too many glasses of champagne DH reckons he can get them back though, so hopefully (when he gets up ) he will have a go at that for me, I really hope he can, he has managed it before on another camera so fingers crossed.

The boys did me proud in church, they were so well behaved everyone commented on it

Yesterday we were getting ready upstairs and Sam followed us up which left Ben on his own downstairs, he was moaning a bit so I was just about to go and get him.... when his head popped up over the last step he has not bothered with the stairs at all so far but then went and climbed to the very top in one go I am mortified when I think of what could have happened suffice to say he wants to climb them all the time now so I had better sort the stair gate out

Will post a piccy later if DH manages to get them back

Hi all Dh had his 'interview' this morning and he seemed to think it went well. I am really wanting him to get it now as we've done quite a bit of research and the more we find out, the more we want to go. The contract wouldn't start till March which is a bit later than we thought so it works in our favour so fingers crossed.....

LLL- glad you had a great day and that the weather behaved. Lol at you drinking too much and deleting all the photos!

Alice -Hope teething calms down soon and that the sleeping through starts again x

Inzi - fab news on the house!!! Nice to see you couldn't keep away

Great news Inzi - I am super jealous. We are desperate to move to a bigger place but there is no way we can afford it now.

LLL - so pleased that she managed to get some good pictures and that the weather held a bit. Ahh hang overs - they are so evil these days. When I was younger I just used to eat a mars bar, drink some lemonade and have a pizza and I would feel better again!

Hope you hear soon muppet - it sounds really exciting. I wish something like that would happen to us!

I sent my DH to the super market to buy cherry tomatoes, cucumber and a bag of salad. He came back with a box of mushrooms

hi everyone, long time no 'cyber' speak!!

So much has happened to everyone, i can;t keep up

Wow muppet, UAE move sounds so exciting. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you and your DH!

LLL - thank god the weather cleared for your SIL for time enough to have some decent photos taken..... i still want to see your new fringe though so get some pics up if your DH has salvaged them

Stefka - i hope your luck changes on the job front. You must be so frustrated. It sounds like you've done everything you can to try and sort it out... you just need a lucky break now maybe.

FT - i'm so sorry you're feeling sad about Robyn. Everyone here has said it all so much better than i ever could.

Dal - i don;t have any wise words on the feeding front...... but my DS is also very particular about lumpy foods. He was fine about lumps before his first tooth cut through but ever since, he just gags and pukes at the slightest lump if he spoon fed so i have to puree everything to a fine pump but he eats chunks of finger food with no problem . I used to fret about it and get MYSELF wound up, but he was happy enough. I guess what i'm trying to say is that just give him what he wants how ever he wants it. If he doesn't eat much there is little you can do other than what you are already doing.
You are his mum and you know him better than anyone on this earth so listen to your instincts and bang on the doctors door as much as you like until they start listening to you properly.

Waves to everyone else.... my short term memory is still very poor!

We've been out and about quite a bit recently as DH was on a 2 week holiday. We went to Warwick castle which was fab, then to Canterbury and lots of days out in our area. He went back to work today ...

I start back next monday and am really struggling to get my head around it. I don;t want to go..... especially as i know that they have set up a meeting for me on my first day back with a big ad agency. I was hoping they would give me at least one day to get my head around everything before i got stuck. Is that asking too much?

Anyway, does anyone elses LO's not hold their own bottle to feed themselves..? Eren just plays with his, but i've been told that he should be holding his own bottle by now to drink his milk/water......

muppet i meant Abu Dhabi

Mine - glad to hear you've had a some quality family time with dh being off! Who on earth told you that lo's should be using a bottle???? If this were true then Henry would go down as the world's most behind baby without a good reason for it!!!!
Don't worry about it, Eren will feed himself when he wants to. Anyway why would he want to do it himself when he has his lovely mummy to do it for him?

Well I had a bit of a bombshell last night...
A man who has the same name as my brother contacted me through facebook yesterday (I contacted him first as in his picture he did look like my brother and I thought it was him hence we are 'friends' now) He has told me that a woman called S has written to him asking if he was her son as her husband had died and she wanted to find her children J, R and E. This is thrown me as I knew it would happen sometime -my mother married a much older man -I just thought I had a few more years before it did. Her family have disowned her for leaving us, behaving really badly in the interim but most of all getting her father to change his will from equal shares of a lump some to one of my Auntie's being cut out completely -funnily enough it was the Auntie my Mother hated, coincidence???

I spoke to my Auntie's last night and they both say they aren't interested and haven't heard from her. I also spoke to an old friend who saw me through my parents divorce all those years ago. he said think of the kids (mine) you don?t want her turning up at Ollie's school and saying 'Hi I'm Granny....' He also said that he wouldn't underestimate her at all.

She is now in a foreign country all on her own, her children don?t speak to her and neither does her family. She has threatened suicide before and I know that she couldn't support herself as she's just not able to and she's never had to think about paying bills, leaky roofs etc. I don?t want to contact her but she is in the lurch although dh said she made her own bed....

My middle brother thinks that she'll find herself another husband pretty soon and that that would sort things out!!

Again, what would you do in this situation? She really was emotionally abusive when I was growing up but now she's a 58 year old woman with no one. She doesn't have the power anymore and I realise I do though am apprehensive of this.

Thanks all
xxx

Wow that is quite a situation. I don't know what I would do. I would make sure that if I decided to have any contact that there were some very clear boundaries in place and that I was protecting myself emotionally. You have to do what you think is right for you - don't worry about what other people thing or what you thing you ought to do.

Did you guys know about the rear facing car seat issue? I had no idea that it was safer to keep children in a rear facing car seat until they are about four or five! I am so shocked to read about this issue - can't understand why the UK are not selling these car seats or telling parents about them.

Goodness Muppet your mum sounds like she was a toxic person and was only out for herself. If it were me i would stay clear of her.

You and your beautiful family have so many positive thngs happening in your lives that your mum will probably come and change all this for you.
I think your DH is right. She is now reaping what she sowed.

Muppetgirl that is a really tricky one. There is no need to rush into anything though - presumably your fb friend hasn't told her that he knows you?

I would have a long hard think about what you want out of getting back in touch. I don't think you should feel any sense of responsibility for her not being able to cope - I do agree with your dh that she has made her bed. I would focus solely on what YOU would benefit from it. If you think it would just open a whole can of works and make things tricky and upsetting for you then I think the best thing is to leave well alone. But think too about how empowering it might be to tell her exactly how awful she made you feel growing up and set the groundrules yourself for any ocntact she has now. Be firm and stick to your guns. WHo knows - maybe she has mellowed withtime and is honestly sorry for how she has behaved - if this is the case you may in time be able to forge some sort of relationship with her.

On the other hand if she has not changed this will become clear and you will be able to walk away with your head held high knowing you gave her a chance.

I would also think of how you would feel if you didn't get in touch and then heard she had killed herself. Only you know this as only you know the full extent of what happened as you were growing up. I do remember you talking about some of the things she did though... If the answer is you wouldn't feel guilty about not getting in touch then maybe thats your answer - walk away. If you would then I think for your own emotional wellbeing you probably need to get in touch.

Well that was probably as clear as mud but hope it helps x

Mine good luck on Monday!

Best go and play with my boys now - hello to the rest of you and catch you later...

Oh and Stefka I didn't know you could get rear facing seats for older children. Adam is still in his baby seat - we're keeping him in there until he physically won't fit both for safety and also until Sam is in the stage 3 one so we don't need to buy another stage 2 one!

Hi everyone -

Muppet - very difficult situation indeed. To some extent I know how you feel as I haven't spoken to my mother for 3 years and she doesn't know about Dylan.

I think what alice said about thinking how it will benefit you to get back in touch is important. If you can't see any benefits then it would just be for her benefit and may affect your life in a negative way.

I don't think you should feel guilty or like any of this is your responsibility, she is an adult and was an adult when she did what she did.

Only you know the answer. It would be a terrible shame and a truly awful situation if she took her own life but it wouldn't be your fault. What I mean is, if you think it is going to make you stressed/unhappy/uneasy to bring her back in to your life then maybe it is not worth doing that if the only reason is 'what if I don't and she takes her own life'.

She does sound toxic and I think you should be prepared that if you get in touch she probably won't have changed and may still be as out for herself as ever.

These are my thoughts on it but it's easy for me to say these things when i'm not actually you. I know I struggle with my decision not to contact my parents everyday and I think myself round in circles tying to work out the pros and the cons.

I would just echo what alice said and say that you should take your time and not rush in to a decision.

Mine - Glad you have had a lovely 2 weeks with dh, sorry you feel sad that he's gone back to work, I know the feeling well!

Thanks for the advice re Dylans eating. I think he's the same, likes totally smooth or proper food, nothing in between though!

Inzi - I am also very of your 4 bed house oppertunity, I would love to be able to afford one! Are you going to start ttc-ing a the start of 2009?

Alice - I doidn't know you could get rear facing seats for older kids either. I had heard they were safer in the rear facing ones as long as possible though. Dylan will still be in his for a while yet, he's got nearly 2kg to gain!

Well, Dylan's room is nearly clear, I know I keep sayin that but it just seems to take forever to get these last little bits sorted! I kind of excited and a bit sad about him going in there. I'll be glad to have our room back so we can 'cuddle' without worrying if we're being watched but i'm also worried i'll feel like he's all lonely in his own room away from us and i'll miss him. I suppose it's not much different to when he's asleep alone in our room early evening before we go to bed though...

Well, i'm off to fold some washing, joy! Back later, as usual, hi to everyone i've missed