<< lays out tiny nappies and babygros >> For TYG and SKYTV

[largeginandtonic]

Mornin!

He sounds a right arse LG&T. Let us know what he says!

Have added some piccies of the new addition for those who don't facebook.

Been waiting for DDs trampoline to arrive all day and it isn't here yet! Don't think it will be today.

Is 12 too many to eat all by yourself, well no as long as you split it in to 2 sittings

MKG he has no money and does not work, he is studying for a carrer change at the wrong side of 50. Nice for some As predicted he was useless. His solution was that i write a letter saying he looks after them more than 50% of te time, so effectively handing over sole custody to him. This would men he would then be able to claim he was a single parent and get free housing, school dinners, hand outs every week.

This would mean any working family tax credits we get for them and child benefit that essentially feed and clothe the children would be sliced. They may even come after Neil and i for child support, to support him. I said wtf, he said well i could keep them for 2-3 nights a week and that woudl ease the financial burden I pointed out that i would still need to feed, clothe and shelter the twins 100% of the time as he would be unable to commit/be rilied upon for anything.

He chose then to say oh by the way i need to pop to New Zealand to sort things out (he used to live there for years)in November can i take them????!!!!

Aaaarrrgggggg, can you FEEL my frustration.

I mean how do you reason with someone like that. I have told him to start paying for the boys to be picked up from school every day if he cant do it or have them for 3 days a week to teach them the national curriculum so they can stay home with me.

He si going to do nothing, i just know it.

Then i went to the docs and saw the nurse, they had Hugs missed off the list so did Beau while the other nuirse riffled papers and found all the right immunisations for Hugs. Beau yelled, Hugs cowered. They then ran around like loonies for 10 minutes while they sorted all Hugs drugs out and finally gave him his. TWO in one arm then ANOTHER in the other arm!!! I was speechless, they have a national shortage of a particular combined vaccine so have to give 3 atm. It was this or come back in a month for him to be jabbed again. There was no offer of this until after she had done all 3 though. I am not even sure i would have opted for it, imagine taking him back for MORE torture in a few weeks. Hideous the whole thing.

I took him to buy a scooby magazine and to have a McDonalds afterwards such was his and my trauma!

Farcking hell, if it doesnt rain it ours some days.

Owwww poor LOs LGT

I have kk's!!! LG&T there are some on there was to you as well my love I have just wrapped them up in air tight containers so will get them sent special delivery tomorrow so they arrive in time to be scoffed

i mean way!

Farcking hell, all children well all children except the boy are in bed. Have medised the 2 youngest as they are both crotchety following the hideous jabs of this afternoon.

I need a GLASS OF WINE. Am holding off till dh home though (3 sleeps ) as i will have 1 glass and probably fall over having not drunk a drop in about 15 weeks.

evening ladies.

bloody hell, it has taken me an hour to catch up and it was mostly vile porn I always miss the good ones, lol

lg&t what an awful day, sure the kk's on their way will help.

TYG & SKY hope things are going ok for you both and you are getting some rest.

Pj, to make you feel not so in the minority, J was I think about 10 months before A and I "did it" after she was born, I have to add that sex is not high on either of our prioritys. We enjoy it when we do make the effort but neither of us have a high sex drive and can take it or leave it. If you both feel like this and are undersatnding of each others feelings then there is nothing wrong. A and I are solid, we have a very close relationship and are the best of friends too. Sex is not and never really has been a big part of our relationship. We do believe though that we are only as strong as we are because we talk everything through, never go to sleep on an uneasy feeling and spend as much time together as we can. I hope you have been able to talk to dh about it, it is the first step and although difficult to start with it really will help.

SOH, I sniggered at you saying you could run fast so that you were able to get back to M quickly. I can run fast too. In the other direction from the dc's.

Had a really fab weekend, the wedding was gorgeous and the weather was fine. More than can be said for Saturday and the true british fecking summer shit! Grrrr can you tell I was angry. All was not completely lost and I managed to wangle a function room from the ski centre A and I used to manage (it's who you know, not what you know) Still wasn't quite the idea though. Gutted you didn't come down AM

We did at least make it there and back with NO car troubles this time. The speed ferry was more of a vomit commit yesterday though.

Thanks for maddies b'day wishes. She is now an angelic, well behaved, polite 3 yr old and I am Katie Price.

Have just eaten a scone with jam and clotted cream clotted cream!!!! Thats a big deal ya know, A pot caught my eye whist grabbing some bits for the journey yestarday on the way to the ferry. Closely followed by a pack of freshly baked scones. YUM

Off to fb to find CM

DH doesn't have a name for here, he doesn't mind at all and often asks about you, lol He doesn't like fb though and even made me a folder in my hotmail inbox for the notification mails that come through. He called the folder faceache!!!

Still tyoing on the wii, so apologies if there are loads of mistakes!

Oh Sky he is beautiful, as are all your DCs.

LG&T ooh I bet you are excited DH will soon be home, hopefully he wont have eaten all your american goodies. Can't believe the twins dad is such a twonk.

AM I am eternally grateful. It was lovely to speak to you. Thank-you so much. Hope you had a good day.

CAQL glad you had a good time at the wedding I am just getting to grips with this facebook thing

Waves at Elkie

CAQL, i am so sorry that i couldnt make it, it was just a tad too far and we had to leave the house at 6.30 to get to the party on sat night. Probably a good thing we didnt come as J is full of cold and they werent the best behaved on Sat so would have just spent the time shouting. Ooh the Vommit commit sounds like fun! Will be sending M's present today

CM, was great to speak to you as well. The KK's are all nicely packaged and waiting to go to the post office. I had to tell dh to keep his hands off!

Morning everyone

He said he's not sure if he loves me anymore.

Oh PJ my love I cant post properly as am about to go out to my inlaws. Didnt want to leave you unanswered. Will back this arvo if oyu want to talk email me and I will give you my phone number. x

oh pj sweet...is there some one there you can talk to? Are you at work. Was it heat of the moment like you said about the divorce the other day?
{{{{{hugs for you}}}}} keep talking to us here.

PJ, sorry to hear that.

PJ if he is anything like my DH he will have really hurt when you mentioned divorce, however much he says he isn't hurting he will be. It is the kind of thing my DH would do try to hurt me back, men can be so spiteful sometimes. Also my DH tries to distance himself from things if he thinks you do want a divorce he might be hardening his shell by thinking it may be a possibility.

Have you had a good talk about things. He has said he is not sure anymore, that does not mean he doesn't love you it means he is mixed up. I have been through patches like this with DH you aren't sure but you can get it back. You he can learn to love again.

What happened?

AM slap his fingers, my mouth is drooling at the prospect. Yummy. Thanks.

CAQL & TMAM thank you for the facebook message.

Basically, we went to a wedding on Saturday, and he started sulking (something to do with me not looking after his car properly). It just escalated into an argument. He always turns things around to money, so he started saying that he was going to change the mortgage into my name, and see how I liked it. Then he called me a fat, ugly, horrible bitch, and said, 'do you even love me, because to be honest I'm not sure if I love you anymore'. I was just sitting there completely ignoring him, and looking like the whole thing was going over my head, because I never know what to believe when he is in a temper, and he always says vile things to me when he's in this mood.

Because we were on our way to Sheffield (L was with my mum and dad), there wasn't a lot I could do other than try and make peace, which we had done by the time we got there. He said he did love me, and I wasn't fat or ugly.

The worst thing is that when he said it, I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. Like I was just numb from it all.

Whilst at the wedding, he was touching my bum in the receiving line, and I asked him to stop, so he proceeded to call me 'sister' all the way through the meal, and at one point described me as a 'killjoy' to the other guests at our table.

The ice was broken between us by a very bad best man's speech, and we were OK from then on. On Sunday I went to my grandmother's, and he stayed at home because he said he felt ill, and he was being a bit vile to L because she wouldn't go to him, so I went out for the day.

It's just all falling apart, and I don't know if I care any more.

PJ my DH can be absolutely vile as well when in a temper. The things that can come out of his mouth are just untrue. You are not any of those things he is just nasty and being hurtful. It can be the stupidest thing that starts them off can't it.

I think the money worries are a big issue for him and it seems like he is taking it out on you. Having DC does shift the responsibility and seems to stress them out and make them realise they are have to stay employed/provide for the family and initially it takes some getting used to. He may also resent the fact that you have had time off to spend with L when he hasn't. He is just jealous.

We had a blazing row this morning as DH was 5 minutes late for work and it was obv my fault . I just sat there and you are right I can get where it doesn't hurt anymore you do feel numb and let it wash over you. He has since rung up and been okay as though nothing has happened. I do find it best to ignore him and rise above it, it just gradually destroys love/respect for them though doesn't it?

My DH also gets really irritable when he is not getting enough sex. So he starts to be tetchy as though that will be a big turn on to me . Is this still an issue with your DH.

PJ you need to decide if you do care and want to work things out or just call it a day. If you want to call it a day then try to work out some logistics and get out of there.

If you want to make it work then you are going to have to sit down and really go through what the issues are. Communicate, communicate, communicate.

I find men are inherently crap at communicating and point the finger about one thing when it is actually something completey different stressing them out when it boils down to it.

Do I remember you saying he thought relate was a bit serious as the next step?

Definitely still an issue. I am struggling to find any positives at the moment. There were flashes on Saturday of the couple we used to be, but they are only fleeting. My mum has started asking me whether I would be happier on my own.

It's a mess. It really is. I want L to have two parents, in the same house, that love each other.

I know what you mean CM about the temper thing, and M has always been like this, with the horrible comments. But they just chip away. And I feel like he meant what he said on Saturday, about not loving me. I really think he did. And I feel the same way. There is a big wall between us, its like its me and L, and he is on the outskirts. And I know that I need to help to change that. But I don't know how, and I don't know if I want to.

I just want a quiet life most of the time. Which is so different to the person I used to be.

Oh dear oh dear my sweet.

You have known fr ages that something is not right. It is just going to escalate in to a hate relationship unless you either sort it out or make a break.

My ex also used to say hateful things to me, i was so hurt. I was always amazed that he seemed to forget about it in the next moment but i carried it I would never say such hurtful things even in the heat of the moment, i have a stop button and walk away. There is no excuse for it.

You need to be strong my sweet and make a choice. He needs to know you are serious. Counselling or make a break, it seems the only way.

Oh fgs i wish i could give you a hug.

I think I'll look into Relate. When I think of our relationship it always reminds me of the moment (indulge me) in SATC when Steve says to Miranda, 'there's good stuff here'. There is good stuff there, I just can't seem to find it, and when I do, it never lasts.

It seems that resentment is breeding, and before we get to the point of no return, we need to do something.

AM - I think I need the KKs now please.

A wise move. Now get to it and make it very clear to him that you are not happy but are desperate to do something about it.

Hopefully he will be positve and join in.

I am making vast laagne so have to go but am thinking of you, phone if you need to!

Thanks LG&T - send me some of that too. xx