May 2007 - They are off and running, wobbling and falling down again.

[JamInMyWellies]

New thread needed.

Oh and I wouldn't have done it when she has a cold, much as I want to capitalise on your resolve at the moment.

TYG - Its very interesting (in my world anyway), the nap time thing. At nursery, and at my mum's or with my nan, she sleeps in a cot, quite happily. When she's with me, I resort to driving about or taking her out in her pram. She definitely knows how to play mummy, and its as if she knows I'm a soft touch, and plays me up more than anyone else. Would you consider a move to the North West to help out? I'll start boiling the kettle and getting the towels ready...

Blardy dh - what a numpty. There's nothing worse than doing something like that, and then thinking, 'oh no, what have I just done!' God, they were certainly concerned about people seeing the cisterns!

Lupins are you OK?

Jam, can't see the pic from here but will look this evening, I have to think about one of them as well. Though I'm going to take up using a sling this time - I can't face trying to get a double buggy on a bus and I don't do staying at home.

Lups isn't joining Sky, LG&T, TYG, Pebble and Jam is she? Not to mention fourlittlefeet?

Lups - have you been taken hostage ??

Tilly, I was just thinking that!!

Lups come back quick before we call the police!

at tilly thanks for the hooorahhhhs. To you too, still going strong?

Pj wait till she is over her cold and the excitment of the christening out the way.

I am afraid you are going to have to suck it up and be brave.Wait till next week set yourself clear parameters of what you and DH are going to do and stick to them write them down if you have to so you can look at them to keep your resolve going. Lovley Lexie obviously has you completely sussed and will play up to your motherly instinct to pick her up. Start next Friday night with DP then hopefully over the weekend you can crack the nighttime I would do this first over her daytime naps (sorry TYG)as I think her daytime naps are normally without you being there(?), and it is nighttime you have the most trouble with. Be brave my love and just keep thinking that if you get the night sorted you and DH can sprnd time together you can maybe even begin trying for No.2.

TYG ooh that is so annoying I never understand why they block cistern in they have done the same here in one of our bathrooms cant even put a bleach tablet in it to keep it fresh.

Scoot how was Ascot where are the pics?

Tilly Mrs JB woo hoo you have done a wk.

Where is LG&T, oi you had better not have abanded us for the Jan thread.

MID how

Off to do battle with JOhn Lewis today bought some curtains ages ago for the lounge finally got around to putting them up last weekend only to find 2 massive big flaws in the fabric not noticible tilll I had pulled the heading and spent ages putting the bloody things up. I know they are going to be PITA about an exchange as the heading has been pulled and I have no idea where the reciept is.

Lups what the matter?

Thanks Jam - you're right, she's at my mum's two days and at nursery two days. I think writing it down is an excellent idea.

Ooh, John Lewis staff can be very rude and snooty, certainly in Liverpool where they think they're a bit posh . Kill them with kindness .

Hi Im back my mum was here so couldnt chat - I couldnt remember when my period was - yes you guessed it I tested to put that fear to rest and 2 pink lines sot up straight away, I ave been here acting like everything is normal but my head is spinning, I wasnt supposed to get pg - they told me that when they delivered A due to the state of my womb, we were only not careful once, feel like a bloody fourteen year old having made a minor indecscresiom and now this is a slap in the face. Im sorry for all of you who are excited about your pg's I feel sad that I'm not but it is such a shock, I cant tell dp his head will explode and he will never cope with the pressure of me being pg - I'm sure you all remember the depths of depression he sank to during my last pg, I cant put him through that atm, I really dont know what to do - I know I could make it all go away very simply but I cant do that - I did that at 16 and alto I never regretted it as it wasnt the right thing for me at the time I did swear I would never do it again - and certainly I should now be older and wiser , I have made an appt at the docs for monday - I suppose I just really need to know if this is going to be a viable pg or whether my insides are so damaged that theres no point carrying on and altho I know that would take things out of my hands I know I would be gutted knowing my body wasnt capable of helping this little life - PANTS PANTS PANT!!!! sorry for the rant I am in shock I think

By the way my haircut is fab, the chap did a fab job, 1st person who has cut it excactly how I have wanted

Any words/ opinions welcome to help me make sense os this situation would be greatly appreciated (feel guilty doing sad emoticon)

Hope ev1 else is ok - I will catch up after I have battle the dishes

PJ - Has your mum ever put her to bed at night? If she goes down ok for naps for your mum, would your mum come over and do a couple of bedtimes? I didn't realise this before, that she was ok with other people. If your mum can do a night time, then you do one "with her", then you will know she is just acting up with you, iyswim, and it should make it easier to sort out. Honestly, if she goes down ok for naps for other people then she has no problem falling asleep on her own. What she has, is a a problem with bedtime routine. Break the cycle of her going to bed with you and she'll be fine. Really.

I don't know if you have a fixed bedtime routine, but if you don't, start one. You know, wind down reading a book or something, then bath, cuddle, bottle, bed. Anything like that. The key as I said, is to do that before she's overtired and also to make sure she's not being whipped from playing almost straight to bed wondering "what the hell happened there?". If you already have a routine, then see how it compares to what your mum does at nap times and see if there's anything you can tweak to make the transition earlier.

Lups. What a difficult situation for you to be in. Not sure what advice I can offer you, but to say I completely understand how you feel about the actions you took when you were 16, and how that has affected what you would do in the same situation again. I think its important to get all the facts before you start thinking about what to do, see the doctor, get the advice, and take it from there. I know you had such a difficult pg last time with Dp, but you came through it, and you continued to support and love each other. Don't feel guilty, everyone has their own situations to deal with, and I am sure that none of the May 07ers would offer anything other than support to you.

Glad your hair is nice, good hairdressers are hard to find.

Oh x-posts Lupins. I'm so sorry this has come as such a shock. I'm afraid I don't know what to tell you to do, other than please don't rush into anything in the next couple of days. Get your head round it, do consider speaking to DH and discuss your options. If he ever found out you made a decision without him, he really could be terribly hurt and upset.

Deep breaths!

Lups - don;t really know what to say. I'm obviously a bit of a late comer to the group, so don't know what went on in your last pregnancy. Just give yourselves some time to get over the shock before making any decisions and then see what your GP has to say

We're all here for you whatever you decide

Take care xx

TYG - my 'problems' seem trivial now! But my mum is a bit useless when I am there, for some reason. When I tried controlled crying, she was crying as well. She says its because when I am there, she feels like she has to look after me as well as L! She made a comment the other night that really pissed me off, calling me a 'big kid', which she then tried to say was a 'good thing'. I don't think she thinks I am a very good mum, well I don't get that sense anyway. So there is a part of me that wants to solve this without her help.

OK, this is what we do. Please don't judge, this has only been going on for the past few weeks, but she is getting very tired and irritable now, its just not working. These are all approximate timings.

6.30pm My mum arrives ( I know, I know - she just comes to see us both)

6.45pm Bathtime - It sounds ridiculous, but the reason I don't like her sucking the flannel is because its almost impossible for me to get her bedtime milk down her, and even harder when she has a belly full of bath water. She doesn't really like her bath TBH, she usually wants to get out after about 5 mins.

7.00pm DH comes home

Approx 7.00pm Dd gets out the bath, dried etc, then I have a quick shower (we've stopped having showers while she's in bed because it wakes her up ). She plays on our bed with my mum while dh makes dinner.

7.15pm Back downstairs, milk feed. Which she used to drink happily, but now sees all her toys and just wants to get off my knee and play with them straight away, so now typically having about 3oz.

7.30pm We have dinner, most of which she nicks off our plates.

8.00pm My mum goes home, and I take her upstairs and get into our bed with her. She throws herself around the bed for between 30 and 45 minutes, before just 'crashing' because she's so tired. The last two nights she has gone to sleep after 9pm.

God, it sounds awful doesn't it. I do know its awful, but can't go the whole hog at once. So I think the first step is not to bring her back downstairs.

PJ - what time does she get up and how many/how long are her naps in the day ?

She gets up at 6.45 in the week, and about 8.30 at the weekend. God I am so embarrassed telling you all this, it makes me sound so weak and pathetic. I thought I'd be a really good mum!!!

PJ - don;t be daft hun (ooh, I said hun- isn't that a hanging offence on mn ?).. You are a great mum and your routine doesn't sound bad at all. I'm just trying to get an idea of timings etc. to compare to Til (obviously they're all different, but just to get an idea)

You are not a bad mum just because your little tyke isn't the best sleeper in the world

Thanks all always I am ever thankful that I joined this group and continue to get help and support, Im not going to tell dp - unless the gp says that really there is no hope, I will just have to hide it which will be a bit easier as he will only be home at weekends until end of sept, I know its just shock but without any facts I cant make sense of the situation and altho Im not a control friek I do like to be in general control of whats happening and I feel a bit like I've been thrown in a large ocean and dont know which way is land

Dishes still need doing

Oh leave the dishes woman.

Only you can know how best to handle dp and the situation you are in. Can you not get a doctors appt this afternoon?

Tilly - thanks hun .

Lupins, sorry that you're facing such a horrible dilemma, again like tilly I don't know the detailf from last time.

Dishes are done

TILLY & ELK Basically I lost my 1st son at 29wks, my dd was 5wks early, then mc, then with ds my dp went into suicidal depression whilst I was pg - it wasnt beacause of that but that was the trigger, he was very horrible to me while I was pg, ds was 8 weeks early I was taken in as it showed my placenta was failing as did when we lost Morgan, had csection it was an up and across one rather than standard across one as I had so much scar tissue from dd's section, thats a quick run down of history - so I dont want to send dp further into depression, he is still on anti'ds and has just started seeing shrink, I also have pancreatitis which makes me very ill especially when pg - with dd I developed gestational diabetes and ad to inject 4 times a day - so you see why I am not totally overjoyed and whooping for joy at being pg

PJ you are a fab mum, your routine as just gone a bity skew whiff thats all, ds will no longer sleep te night in our bed if thats any help and it only really took 2 nights to get him settled in his own room, he will nap with me in the day, but will nap prefectly happy for 2-3 hours in his cot, have you thought about changing bath time? ten se cant fill up wit bath water - do you bath her everyday - is it part of bedtime routine, I think your mum visiting at that time would make it hard for L to unwind, can you say to your mum to visit earlier or later, I do think its a good idea to have a friend or 2 over for support, I got it all wrong with dd shhe wouldnt sleep without twiddling my hair, had no routine, lots of dummies which if she lost she woke up - and this went on till she was 3 - its never easy to get it right with the 1st one, trial and error and knowing whats right for your family

I am calming down, going to try and forget about it till monday, big problem tho is being able to talk to doc while dd is there theres no one/ where I can leave her but I dont need her getting wind of whats going on

Oh Lupins I Don't know what to say. Talk to your doctor and see what's what. Tell your dp, you shouldn't have to go through this alone.