May 2007 - They are off and running, wobbling and falling down again.

[JamInMyWellies]

New thread needed.

Lupins, that's difficult and yes, I can't blame you not wanting to face all those problems and frightening possibilities again.

MKG I cant tell dp e is already stretched emotionally, he's finding it very ard being away from us, spoke to im earlier and he said he felt his depression worsening I'm afraid for now I have no choice but to cope alone - at least I can chat to you guys and that should just about keep me sane

My H on my laptop is on the way out I do try and check through but if I miss some then I apologise some words may seem a bit odd but try putting a H in and see if it makes sense

Of to photograp a huge mountain of clothes for my picturetrail and ebay (boring boring boring)

God Lups - I'm so sorry to hear about your ds and your dp's depression.

I had a termination when I was very young and then we had 2 mc's and a difficult pg with Tilly and I always felt it was some kind of karma Logically, I know it wasn't but I remember thinking it. The guilt of having a termination (even though it was absolutely the right decision at the time) has never really gone away

Is there anyone else you can tell (family/friends ?) or would you be worried about DP feeling like the last to know when you do tell him ?

I have no idea what to suggest (hence my stupid waffle) but I understand you must be going through hell

Oh hell. You poor thing, Lupins. OK, can you speak to GP and ask for an emg appt with a consultant at the hospital. Emphasise that you need to speak to a consultant about viability etc, before you make your decision.

PJ - It's not awful. It's just some awkward habits. How about her own tea at 5-ish (with minder or your mum or whatever), bath at 6pm or as early as you can when you're home from work, wind down quiet play in the bath, hugs and snuggles whilst getting changed for bed. Bring the bottle up with you at bath time so it's in the bedroom ready. Feed her in the bedroom around 6.45 - be it yours or hers for now. Timings optional of course, but you see what I'm getting at. You either get in the bath with her and shower/ wash or get your mum to watch her in the bath whilst you shower. (Once she's in her own room hopefully she won't be such a light sleeper!)

If she's being "manic" on your bed for 45 mins then I suggest that she's well overtired and also sees "bedtime" as "playtime". A goes completely bonkers when tired - throws herself around and such. If she won't settle on your bed next to you and be quiet, then I honestly think her own bed is the best place for her.

Feel free, obviously, to completely ignore me. It's just that I remember so well the nights of spending over an hour in A's room trying to "settle" her, when in fact I was "annoying" her! I wouldn't wish the frustration on anyone.

No TYG - you're absolutely right. The only reason she is going to sleep in our bed is because she is so tired, she just 'crashes', which is just not healthy for her. And we even sunk to new depths the other night of me texting dh to bring my dinner upstairs!

I have started getting in the bath with her (the look on her face is priceless), and I agree the next step is not to bring her downstairs, as no matter how tired she is, it just gives her a second wind when she sees all her toys etc. She can be literally asleep on her bottle, and then realise she's downstairs and wake up again. I think we're doing it all 'right' up until the point where we bring her back down after her bath.

I'd agree PJ... we do dinner for Tilly at about 6.15, up for a bath at about 7, I get in with her and then DP takes her out and gets her dried, into pj's, sleeping bag etc whilst I finish off. We take the bottle upstairs with us and she has a story with DP and then a bottle with me (whilst DP starts cooking our dinner). She goes down at around 7.30 pm and then we have our dinner at 8 ish

If she's getting up that early in the week, I would also have thought that by 8 she's "overtired". Maybe try and bring the whole thing forward to 7 ish and see how that goes ?

She currently eats dinner at 5, then bath at 6.30, then bottle, then ferral.

Farcking hell, i havebeen staring at the last thread on my recently posted watch list wondering where everyone is

I blame pregnancy.

PJ why not pop her into bed after or wit bottle, A doesnt have a daily bath and usually his bath is in the daytime but it usually wacks him out if he does have a late one and is very easy to settle from being all warm and dozy from the bath

Right have caught up...

Lups my love!!! What a pickle to be in, like TYG has said get thee to the docs and see a consultant asap. FWIW i have seen plenty of sections done on women who have had the vertical section before and the horizontal. The scar tissue will make the stitching more tricky but shouldnt impact on a pregnancy. Not sure if that is what you want to hear or not.

Look after yourself.

Pink the advice you are getting is great, Lexie will respond to the sleep training, it will be worth it and she will be happier. B has always taken his last bottle from us until recently, he likes to lie on the floor on his v cushion and do it all himself. Sometimes he chucks it off and plays but goes back to it. He too throws himself around like A when he is tired and bed is the only safe comfortable place for him.

Now he is so used to his routing that when you lie him on his gro bag he starts yawning and rubbing his eyes before he is even in bed! It is so cute to watch.

A friend is a good idea but i think you may have to go out. Doing it yourself may be the only solution though if she goes to bed for your mum but not for you already. She may just reverty back to old ways as soon as you start implementing the routine.

Farcking hell i wished i lived round the corner from you. This would be so much easier!

Pink, you are spot on. You're doing everything "right", up til the point you bring her downstairs. It may be easier to fix than you realise!

I know, where are MNers in RL when you need them eh! Not a one of you lives anywhere near me! I could do with the help!

I did speak to that sleep nanny woman, remember, she said exactly what you've just said LG & T, that it is an issue between L and I, and that she wouldn't recommend a personal visit because L would just start playing up again the second she left.

I don't know which method to use, here goes:

Leave her to cry - I'll give in, without fail.

Controlled crying - possibly, I've done it before in the evening, its the middle of the night one that is worrying me, and L feeling confused and abandoned.

Pick Up Put Down - tried this as well, I think it provides her with stimulation and she just gets cross with me when I put her down, could go on for hours.

Gradual Withdrawal - I think sitting in a room and not looking at her would upset me even more than CC.

I think the way to go is possibly going to be CC, with short intervals in between for both of our sakes. Oh, where is SOH to tell me that this is not appropriate! I can always count on her to give me an excuse support usually!

Lups, i am so sorry that you are in this very tricky position. I tried calling but your mobile is off. You know where i am if you need a chat. Think it is probably best to get your own head around it and have a chance to speak to the consultant before mentioning it to D. I really wish you were still in Reading and then i could just jump in the car and pop over.

MrsJB - WOOHOO well done on your 1st week as a non-smoker

Jam, i think that buggy is lovely! I want one

Pink, you are a FANTASTIC mother. There is no right or wrong way to do things. FWIW, we put the kids in the bath at about 7pm they play in there for as long as it takes for them to get bored. We then go into their bedrooms and get pj's on and milk is given. Once they are dressed ds goes into his room to finish milk and have stories and dd puts her grobag on and goes to bed. They might play in their rooms whilst getting ready but they dont go back downstairs.

I have now finished work and

LGT that does help thankyou it was just te fact that my consultant said what a mess dont go getting pregnant again - doesnt fill you with confidence- I am having an afternoon of baking to take my mind off of it, just been to pick up wages from the pub and will shortly be doing the walk to tavi to buy flour and icing, am doing chocolate biscotti, vanilla hearts and cupcakes - at least when I look like a biffa I can blame my poor diet

You'd think I didn't work or something... Have just been back to ELC to get a missing pig from the Happyland Farm I bought A yesterday. Vital stuff.

She loves the Happyland things. I got her the post office a while ago and she didn't really "get it", but she's just started being interested in the people and animals and putting them in and out of the buildings and cars and talking to them. Very cute.

I actually went to Mothercare/ ELC yesterday to get some pyjamas and slippers for A. I had no idea it would be so difficult to get either item without some farking tv creature on them. Who the hell is Fifi Flowerpot anyway? Is she related to Bill and Ben? A doesn't even watch TV. She has zero interest in it. Almost all the pyjamas were short sleeved - useless when you use a grobag. Tsk. Managed to find a couple of pairs of 'jamas in the sale and got "booties" instead of slippers.

I keep thinking about going back to work. It must be because I'm fed up with being pregnant.

Ooh TYG - am always looking for new toys for L, she loves little fiddly toys, will look at Happyland.

I know, bloody Fifi, L has a little 'tv' thing that sings the theme tune over and over again, its bloody annoying.

OK, so agreed to do it with my friends is a bad idea. WTF am I going to do on Saturday night then when L gets tired, shall we all go to bed with her at 8pm? Talk about making a rod for your own back.

I think you will find that it's Fifi the Flowertot We have pj's with fifi, peppa pig. piglet and upsy daisy

Am now trying to dissuade another MNer from co-sleeping. Ha ha, SOH would have my guts for garters!

I hate the tv PJS! C also doesn't watch tv. I got two pairs for £2.50 in the sale at Sainsburys last week - just plain blue. He also has some from Monkeyworld in Dorset.

Wow Lups - huge news to get your head round - will be thinking of you over the weekend.

JW - love the buggy - if only I had the room and the money.

PJ - LOL at you all going to bed at 8pm - sorry not really LOL! Your friends may have to fend for themselves for a while and if you don't fall asleep you can come back down .

We are going to a party tonight (whole family) and I forgot to tell the CM that C could sleep as long as he likes - think he will be falling asleep at the disco or we will be leaving early.

Our rabbit is very poorly and probably won't make the weekend. Trouble is numpty DP put him back on the patio floor rather than in his hutch last night and he dragged himself under the shed and he is still behind it so we can't get to him to take him to the vets. He was still in the same place this morning so hasn't eaten all night which isn't good for rabbits. I am not sure what my mum and the DDs are going to find when they get home after school - dead rabbit I think!

Lups.... I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Don't feel guilty about the either. You have without a doubt had a tough time, this wasn't planned and you are in shock too. see what the GP says and do what is best for YOU! xx

PJ If L is nearly asleep on her bottle then why is she having it downstairs? Take her bottle to bed with you, let her drink it in bed, it will relax her, get her sleepy and will become a good way for her to realise that bottle means wind down and sleep. I know the "book" says don't put them to bed with a bottle but bollocks to it I say!! there are alot of things we all do that "the book" says don't, and they have no ill effect most of the time. J always goes to bed with her bottle, I try to pop in and remove it from her cot after she is asleep but don't always. They don't need winding at this age so there is no reason why she shouldn't sleep straight after it.
This is just what works well for us and surely in your position (not really wanting to leave her to cry) then this could be worth ago! [I'm gonna make a bet it helps]

Oh Lups am so sorry what an awful situation to be in. I agree with everyone else keep it to yourself for a few days then tackle DH if you need to.

PJ you are getting some great advice here and you are right going back downstairs is a mistake for what its worht here is Archie's bedtime routine.

5pm tea

6.15pm milk, otherwise he fills up on bath water and has no milk.

6.30pm give or takeup the stairs talk about bath time then into his bedroom close the curtains jst be calm really then into the bath.

7.00pm Out the bath and into his bedroom where it is fairly dark lies on his mat with his bedtime teddies while pj's then a story sing hush little baby ( but after seeing mad may sing it in enders the other night we may change lullabye )at this point he is so used to that song signifying bedtime he puts his thumb in straight into the cot, sleeping bag, say night close the door and bugger off downstairs to watch the telly.

Oh Jam - that sounds like heaven. Love the image of him putting his little thumb in. (Although I catch dh doing this a lot).

Hope it went well at John Lewis. Have only just started watching EE again (on account of the fact that I am upstairs, eating dinner on the bed, with no Sky channels!).

JW - I only just stopped singing hush little baby to DD2 (8 now) last year when she moved in with DD1. I just sing a made up song to C as hush little baby can be far too long sometimes and wore very thin over 7 years!

Right hats it PJ am going to come help you I could have a wkend in the Wirral . Honestly YOU CAN DO IT have faith in yourself oyu are a fab mummy.

Yes Jam the buggy looks fab! I love the sticking the car seat on it idea. I was looking at the Jane Powertwin but really like that one, hmmmmmmmm.

Pink i cannot believe you eat your tea upstairs to put the girl to bed. You need to stay here for a week, i will strap you down (in a good way )

Sky the poor bunny!

Sainsburys pj's are fab, and the jojo ones i highly recommend. They last for ever and are so cute. Themed clothes are banned in this house, smoked rompers are in