May 2007 - They are off and running, wobbling and falling down again.

[JamInMyWellies]

New thread needed.

Hi just checking in to update you all - the gp was fab - as ever, he is lovely - looks like trendy hippy sort yum yum anyway enough of the overactive hormones, he said no need to worry as far as he is aware, altho not being an expert he wasnt totally aware of all the risks, have handed in form for midwife to call me when she's ready and gp is writing to the hospital to get me hooked up with the consultant - I did tell him i was keeping it from dp and he thought it was probably a good idea for now - its a small community and he is well aware of dp's problems, he is going to tell midwife to either call my mobile or call at home but not friday afternoons - so sit and wait now, what will be will be, sickness is starting to rear its ugly head for today and have no lemony sweets in the house - completly forgot to grab some in town, cant even ask my mum - she is over later but she knows I go lemony when i'm pg tbh i am happy having my secret atm - will shock everyone when i decide the time is right if we get that far

Hope ev1 is having a fab day will catc up later - going to raid cupboards to find lemon stuff

Aye, it is a bit of nesting. The last time the cellar got cleared out was when A was due. I've also been getting happy with the bleach bottle. DH said he should have known something was up when A was overdue and he came in and his eyes stung with the smell of bleach from all the plugholes and toilets. She's was born the next morning! I'm not quite there yet though.

S helped yesterday by keeping an eye on A and playing with her. She was actually pretty good. I woke her at 10.30 when DH went out for his driving lesson so I could carry on working and she was nice about it. I couldn't let anyone else do "sorting" to be honest. As it was, DH was opening the bin bags at the dump to see what I'd been throwing out and retrieving almost-finished pots of never-used shoe polish. He won't throw anything out. I recently made piles of his (really) old clothes and sorted them into "definitely for charity shop" and "should be for charity shop, but let me know if you want to keep them" piles. I even carefully kept all his old clothes which I knew had some sort of sentimental value. He lost the plot one time when I almost threw out a 15 year old Vivienne Westwood t-shirt. I have since bought him a brand new exact replica, but he still wants to keep the old one. He avoided going through the piles until a few days later I went upstairs and found every item had been shoved back in his wardrobe. I was so cross. Made all sorts of threats about taking everything to Oxfam when he wasn't home and thus huge row ensued. Will have to go through them all again. S has done hers and given me 4 HUGE bin bags of clothes. Toys next. She's definitely past Bratz now... I should probably try to ebay some of them, but it's SO dull.

Ooh, I let DH drive us to the dump yesterday and to Homebase and then later he drove to his friend's house to pick up his scooter. He's pretty good. Last time he was "learning" about 4 years ago, he used to terrify me because he had no road-awareness whatsoever. He's got that sorted now, from driving the scooter, so the only thing that was going wrong yesterday was that he's learning in a diesel with a very forgiving clutch, and my old car is petrol with a very high biting point so he stalled quite a lot. Only a matter of getting used to it though. I was able to chat to him and didn't feel like I needed to coach him all the way. He was amazed that I was so calm. (He couldn't see that I kept pressing my foot to the floor when he needed to brake - as it that was going to help anyway! ) I only coached him when I could see something like a narrow road was stressing him a bit and just said things like, "It's ok, just take it really slowly and let the cars on the other side whizz by if they want to. We're not in a hurry". (Full marks to me I think.) We didn't fall out at all, which is frankly, a miracle.

He's been taught a couple of things differently to me, to do with what gear to travel in at different speeds, which I find slightly irritating, but as long as he's safe then I suppose it doesn't matter. His instructor told him he doesn't need to indicate to go past a bus at a bus stop though. Does that sound odd? I'm sure I was told that you need to indicate to the cars behind you that you're not going to wait for the bus and also indicate so the bus driver doesn't try to pull out in front of you, which is what happened to us yesterday. He was told it could "confuse" other drivers as they might think you're turning right. Answers on a postcard for that one.

TYG--I can't believe you're 35 weeks already. The time has just flown by.

Lupins--I'm glad that th gp sounds positive. Hope everything works out for you.

Have just finished my monday clearup - last lot of washing in the drier - I know you are all shouting why isnt it on the line - but we have black clouds looming and I cant be arsed!

TYG you are a nutter - please please put your feet up!

Lol at the stag weekend

I found lemon chews

Forgot to tell you all how gross my son is - the other day i had the back door open to let in some fresh air - we dont have a garden just a patch of yard - so its used for logs/ rubbish/ bikes/ bbq ect - anyway i was upstairs in the bathroom and thoght i could here te little bugger outside, he never goes outside because he hates the feel of thhe mat - however there he was eating dried apricots that i had thrown out because they were about a year old - ewwwwwwwwww they were all covered in other crap from the black sack he had broken into I couldnt believe it he is officially disgusting!

TYG re the bratz what abou preloved or gumtree much easier than bleeping ebay and you get what you want for them not just 99p

Thanks for the tip Lupins, will have a look. Might be easier to sell a job lot that way. I'm really glad your GP was so nice. I hope it helped a bit to talk about it and get things moving.

at the apricots. To be fair, I kept catching A with handfuls of soil in her mouth today.

Ten black bags of clothes, shoes and handbags went to Oxfam today. Can you imagine if you were buying all that stuff new again? I rang the four charity shops in the village to ask if they had space in their sorting rooms for that many bags and Oxfam were the only ones who weren't arsey with me. Cancer Research have two outlets in the one street and told me I'd have to separate the stuff and only bring kids clothes to one and adults to the other. There was no way I was digging through all those bags again and then having to drive around waiting for pay and display parking spaces outside two different shops.

One sleep today. 12-2. Seemed ok. I think she could have done with three hours, so might try to get her down at 11.30 and see what happens. Means the poor child is having "lunch" at 11am, which seems odd to me, but irrelevant to her I'm sure. I suppose this is an interim stage. She was in bed by 6.10!

Oh and I use the dryer all the time as well. DH hasn't done the garden since last year (thankfully it's mostly decked). I went down to the end of the garden (the bit I don't have to see from the house!) a while ago to uncover the rotary line to find knee high nettles everywhere. I can blame my carbon footprint on him.

TYG you are really on your nesting drive Fwiw I give J a hefty banana/apple and milk at 11 and he has his lunch at 2 when he wakes. Then he eats well otherwise he is too tired and grumpy for it beforehand.

One of my good Kenyan friends who was in Cameroon with us has just had a baby girl a couple of hours ago! She has two boys the same ages as my older two and was desperate for a girl. I am so pleased I admit to having shed a tear or two I may blub TYG when your little Padraig comes along.

Did she arrive the midwife in the end?

How is your friend today LG&T? I often seem to end up saying goodbye to people I really like, thats the downside of living overseas.

Well done Lups. Good to hear you have a friendly and sympathetic GP. Probably no point in telling dp until you have got it all sorted in your head. Three is great fun. Don't worry about the apricots, it all helps in building up his immune system

April, the house looks amazing I am wondering if we shall ever live in a house owned by ourselves...

Go Tilly and MrsJB

Pink, how was the christening?? Did it go well?

Scooooot, are you ok???? How were the geegees?

It's like the bleedin Good Life here, we are swamped by bananas and courgettes. Am about to buy some more chickens and go into serious battle with the mongeese. By next week we should have our own bananas, courgettes, carrots, salad, eggs - hooorah!

No, midwife did not appear. No phone call or anything. She must have got called to a birth and forgot about me. Better than coming to me and forgetting about the birth.

If A is having her dinner at 5, to be in bed by 6, I think 2 might be a bit late for lunch. I'll play around and see how we go. She was quite happy to eat it, I think it was just my adult conditioning that was bothering me!

Fingers crossed for the next batch of chickens. Did the Mongoose get into the coop? Can it be fortified?

On the name front, I don' t think we'll be having a little Padraig. I think we're settled on Oisín. (Ush-een). It vaguely means "little deer". In Irish mythology, his father was Osgar (Oscar), which is "friend of deer" or similar.

Oisín went away with his true love, Niamh to Tír na nÓg (Land of Youth). He thought he'd been gone for three years and wanted to go home for a visit. Niamh gave him a special horse and told him not to let his feet touch the ground when he went back, or he'd never be able to return to her. He'd actually been away for 300 years, not 3, so when he got down from the horse to help and old man, he instantly turned into a very old man himself. The story goes that he was brought to St Patrick for a blessing before he died, but he refused to give up his old beliefs and convert to Christianity. There's a poem about the theological discussions they had.

at the charity shops expecting people to sort their stuff into categories. I have noticed that the 10 or so that we have in our small high street have gotten picky also. I now go to the clothes/shoes banks next to Morrisons on our estate as it means i can go there whenever i like and dont have to pay to park. Most of the shops have said that if you leave your bags on the door step then they wont except the goods.

How lovely to have names that really mean something. Oisin is very sweet.

Cam hope the chickens are able to beat off that nasty mongoose - what plans do you have to keep him out? Congrats to your friend

ewwwwwwww Arlen, that's gross! Mind you Ella is partial to dried cat food Good news on the gp front, how do you feel this morning?

Dh has gone to Silverstone today for the F1 tyre test and then is off to Snetterton to watch the practice session for the BTCC. Home alone tonight - that means a Desperate HouseWives marathon i had only watched part of an episode up until Sunday night when i broke open the 1 season box set. Think i have watched 6 eps now.

MrsJB, how goes it?

Cool name TYG. Love that there is a story behind it. Does S get annoyed when noone can spell her name properly? Or was that only when she was little?

If you put the clothes into the clothes bank like April does they are more likely to be made into huge bundles and sold en masse to us in Africa. They go into big markets where we all go and buy used Primark, Tesco and Asda clothes for probably more than you lot paid for them originally. But it does help the economy.

April I LOVE Desperate Housewives, we have just finished Season 3 I think here. Sadly it ended rather abruptly I think due to the scree writers strike. However i am totally into Shameless, a marvellous piece of drama and the characters are classics, eh Jam? I think I may be slightly in love with Kev.

Just taken J to his first organised event, Monkeynastix. He cried all the way through. Not like him at all...

The episode that got me into it was the one where Bree was 'pg' and spent the whole hour pretty much making lemon cake and then breaking into a house to steal the recipe...... do you know the one i mean? From that i decided to buy the complete box set of 1,2&3. 6 eps down about 70 to go

Oooo yes, wait til you get to the tornado, that's a really exciting bit. Have you got to the gay neighbours yet? That's fun. I am a little because I haven't yet found out exactly what Catherine's secret is. Tsk. Now I will have to wait.

TYG that is lovely my bf in the states has just had her first and they chose an American first name and Irish second Aine. Its so nice to have some sort of story attached to your name.

Never got into Desperate Housewifes but Shameless is another matter pure genius.

Another sunny day here today, such a pain though as I seem to have a headache that has lasted for about 3wks and sitting in the sun just makes it worse.

Scoot where are you did you win a fortune at the races and run off with frankie Dettori.

SOH you have gone awol again.

PJ how was the christening can we have pics please.

Lups am glad you got some positive news, how are you feeling about it now? Also I can beat you all on revolting things babies eat I regularily find Archie eating dog food, dog toys pebbles off the driveway random bits of food off the floor, slugs actually anything the boy has a healthy appetite.

Oh quick question I was talking to a friend the other day and we were talking about milk A still has on average 3 bottles a day depending on whether we are out and about he also eats 3 massive meals a day. She told me I should stop giving him so much milk and replace with snack but he eats snacks too. What do you reckon I am inclined to carry on although she has said I am making life difficult for when newborn arrives have no idea how as newborn will be BF.

Nup, she doesn't know what she is talking about. Milk is still very important at this age, if he is taking it and eating well too then go Archie go Him and J are soul mates. Bet she's got girls. I don't understand either why it will matter when the baby arrives

How many weeks are you now Jam? I always got bad headaches in the 14 - 20 week stage, with each pregnancy. Then they disappear. Fingers crossed it goes soon.

PS send some sunshine this way. Tis so cold I am about to light the fire.

Thanks I new he was fine tis not like he is overweight and the amount of time he spends outside running around i figure if he is hungry give him the milk. yes she does have a girl!

Maybe thats what the headaches are I was putting it down to living with a numpty DP who is driving me round the bend.

Morning ladies

The christening went really well thanks, despite the crappy weather. L was a little angel, singing along with the hymns. The vicar was a leetle bit political though, suggesting that we start taking our religion as seriously as those people in our country from other religions. I was expecting him to rip open his robe to display a big Union Jack. He wouldn't let us take any pictures during the service, when L was really well behaved, and as soon as it was over and we were allowed to take pictures, she started kicking off. I'll post some pics, the ones in the church show her trying to escape.

I was amazed she didn't start crying when he wet her head, she did give him an almighty scowl though. We then all trotted off to a local golf club, which was lovely. L had lasagne and cake. Yum.

I took her to a soft play area yesterday which she loved, and we had a lovely day. SHould I start the sleep training tonight? WHat about the teething and the cold?

Was thinking:

7.00pm Bath
7.15pm Bottle UPSTAIRS
7.30pm Story
7.40pm Put the mobile on and BED

Then just controlled crying? I am terrified. What do I do in the middle of the night? Will she be scared? Will she hate me? IS it better to do it at the weekend?

HELP!!!

Hormonal headaches. I got them around your stage with both girl pregnancies, but not with this one, funnily enough. I had slight morning ickiness with the others too and none at all with this one. I'm telling you, he's a lovely boy who loves his mammy already.

A is still on three bottles a day. She is just not ready to give them up. I'm giving her drinks of milk in a cup as well and I reckon she'll make the transition to fewer or no bottles later. In fact, if A will sit on the sofa or a beanbag and feed himself a bottle, then it's actually a nice 5 or 10 minutes when you know he's content and quiet so sort of easier when you have the new baby. I get the breakfast ready when A has her morning bottle and I get a few minutes for tidying (or preferably sitting down!) when she has her afternoon one. I still feed her the night time one because it's the only time she'll let me give her a snuggle!

She only made it to 10am this morning before being crazed with tiredness. (Probably something to do with being awake from before 6.) I gave her a banana before bed, as you suggested Cam. I'm hoping she'll stay asleep for well over two hours. We have playgroup this afternoon, so that would work well. I'll just have to play it by ear for the next while.

My double buggy is coming on Thursday. I'm quite excited. The price has gone up since I ordered it, from £366 for the basic package to £419! I still get the old price, so I'm glad that I put a deposit on it early.

I didn't know that about the clothes banks TMATM. I assumed a lot of it was ragged or sorted to sell in charity shops here.

I forgot to say AM, I only just looked at your pics. The house looks really gorgeous. How lovely to be able to do all the work before you move in as well.

April that house is gorgeous. {whispers} are you a secret millionaire?

X-posts PJ. Glad it went well. Some vicars are funny about photos taking away from the solemnity of the service. You want a Cafflick church innit, where weddings and baptisms are celebrations, not solemn occasions. Oh well, that's how all my priests looked at them anyway.

If L has a cold and can't breathe or sleep properly and is more clingy than usual, then I would hold off. If she's just a little snuffly and is sleeping fine during the day or with you, then plug in a Karvol vapouriser, rub Calrub or whatever that decongestant stuff is called into her chest and back before bed and she'll be fine. If you think she's teething, give her some Nelsons teething powder and/ or Neurofen at bath time to give it time to work for bed time. Actually, when A is overtired, the Nelsons powder works well to calm her, because it's Camomile. You can practically see it working.

Once she's in bed, then it's up to you. If you go for CC, then how about not "timing" it, but just only going in if she's really demented. Don't be tempted to keep popping in because she's whining or doing "normal" crying iyswim. You might just be disturbing her wind-down by doing that. Some people will disagree with me I'm sure, but I am convinced that when A is very tired, she moans and cries to release tension. I put her down at 10 this morning and she screamed really loudly for about 5 minutes, but I swear it was like the screaming you might do into your pillow if you were frustrated and wanted to punch something. Then she started making Mmmmm noises and dropped off. If I'd rushed back in as soon as she screamed, then I'd have disturbed her and messed her about and stimulated her further. Do you see what I'm getting at? Don't sit outside the door or have the monitor turned right up either. It just makes it sound worse than it really is. And she won't "hate" you. She doesn't hate your mother or the nursery for putting her to bed, does she? She'll be annoyed and frustrated that she's not getting her normal two hours of driving Mummy round the twist whilst she bounces on your bed, but she won't hate you.

For us "extinction" was easier than CC. Cry it out for one or two nights and that was the end of it. Some parents can't bear it. Some babies don't respond to it or are babies that make themselves sick if they cry a lot, so I'm not saying it's for everyone.

Talk to her and tell her what the plan is. I think babies understand more than we give them credit for. Start as you mean to go on with the bedtime routine and stick to the same routine until it's sorted, right down to closing the curtains and telling her it's time for bed.

Excellent advice TYG - we hit rock bottom at the weekend when my friend was there.

L was overtired anyway, and then when S arrived, she got all excited. Anyway, dh took her up for her bath, we could hear her crying while she was having her hair washed, and I was talking loudly like a lunatic to try and drown it out. Then dh shouted me, she had scratched the inside of her ear and it was all bleeding - great! Completely refused to drink any of her bottle, behaved like a little monkey. Not helped by mummy taking her up to bed and then giving in (3 TIMES!!!) and bringing her back down - where she would give S a really smug grin. She was having major tantrums and just being a little monkey. I had to go to bed with her in the end, and she went to bed at 10.15pm, S stayed up on her own and watched the tv. L proceeded to wake up SCREAAAAAAAAAAMING every two hours (in our bed btw - which she does very rarely), I think, just to show me up.

S kept on making comments about how L 'rules the roost', 'she's a little madam', and then finally at the christening commented to another single friend of mine, 'well if I was wondering whether to have kids, I'd say I'm bloody glad I haven't got them, after last night'. Which I thought was really shitty.

All in all, I looked like a totally incompetent, out of control mother, and it was horrid.

Also, what do you do when one of your RL friends 'follows' you here. She's told me her nickname and everything. I'm not telling though.

Oh you poor love. You know, L is obviously a very smart baby. She knows exactly when she can get her own way. You were just trying to keep the peace and it backfired on you. That was a horrid thing to say about not wanting kids, but someone without children can't possibly understand.

The good news about L being a smart baby who can play you, is that once she realises you mean business (and you really have to mean it), she's going to be clever enough to know that she's going to have to do things your way. She's smart. Once she knows bed really means her own bed, then she will move on and get over it.

BUT, if you keep caving, she will keep playing you. She's taking her cues from you. YOU have to be strong now and realise that what's happening in your house isn't doing any of you any good at all. She needs her sleep as much as she needs food, to thrive. If she was throwing a tantrum at a supermarket checkout because she wanted sweets, would you cave in every time? Keep reminding yourself, when the going is tough, that you are helping her learn to sleep independently and soundly and that it is no different to teaching a child to eat well.

JAM we also do dog food ewwww, i would stick with what your doing, A has 3 bottles, 3 meals and snacks the little bugger is so active i think he needs all those calories- also he doesnt drink much else so it stops him getting a biy solid iykwim, Willow was never into her milk after we stopped bf she has never had a big appetite but its not a crazed looney like her brother

CAM good luck with the new chooks - give tat mongoose hell

PJ if she is not herself then hold off or she will be too cling and her snuffling will wake her up - she wont hate you, in fact she wont even remember this part of her life - you will bot feel much better for it in the long run and so will your dp - just think no pain no gain and really its not that painful just slightly distressing but only for you not her - she will just be playing you - remember that

My mum stayed last night while I worked, it was quite hard not to tell her we have always told each other everything i feel a little disloyal, but tbh its so early still days, I am really getting concerned about how I will cope with 3 - please reassure me it works fine, this is a major issue for me, I only ever was going to have one and would have been perfectly happy - then dd kept on about having a sibling and the more we thought about it it seemed unfair to deny her that relationship as we had both had it, however three is another ball game - how does that work

My little guy is really getting a personality and learning to protest - even getting him dresses is a major ordeal - you should have seen what my mum had him in this morning

TYG hope the midwife gets out to you soon - well done on the buggy deal - what is it you are getting again?
I love that name it is beautiful, there are some wonderful Irish names apparently Arlen is gaelic cant remember what it means tho

Totally not what you need from a good friend Pink. Rest assured her time will come and it won't be as easy as she reckons on it being. Ignore the unhelpful comments. You are a great mum, you just need a little more stamina and a routine

I like your routine suggestion, it looks good. You absolutely must stick to it, do not budge and give in. Fwiw, i would keep to a tiny and very short lullabye/story/cuddle, before putting her in bed. I totally agree with what TYG says, some babies need to cry to get rid of their last bits of energy before they can wind down. I only go into J if he is screaming and doing that uncontrollable sobbing that children do. Other than that he has perfected an annoying 'nearly cry' that doesn't fool either his mother or his father

Don't let the teething put you off, you will look for plenty of other excuses. As TYG says give her some nurofen at bathtime, wipe her nose and put her to bed. And yes we do that talking to J, explaining what is going to happen as if he understands, I think they understand more than we bargain for.

Good luck, you can do it.