Oct 2007; This Little Piggy Rolled & Crawled to Market, This Little Piggy Walked Home

[FloriaTosca]

I hope I manage to do this right...I'll kick everything off with a roll call if it does.

Choc - Really can't tell if I could be preggers or not. Have had what I think is terrible PMT but equally it could be hormones going mad? Also been crying at a lot of random things and as I said, I thought AF was starting today as had some mild cramps but nothing as yet. Also last time I had tender breasts but none of that. I'm thinking the chances are very small.

Congratualtions on your nephew! Ewan is a lovely name, good weight too! Have you met him yet?

Crochet - Hi, hope work isn't too hectic and that you manage to let us know how you're getting on once things settle down.

Wow at M takin her first steps, amazing!

Hi to everyone else, wherever you are

Off to watch the secret millionaire, back later x

Congratulations Choc - I agree that Ewan is a great name.

First steps! That is amazing!!

Congratulations Aunty Choc!!!!! I have a nephew/godson called Ewan too!!!

Crochet;Well done Mairwen on taking her first stepsNow everything has to move up 2 shelves!...but you know that already..glad she did it while you were still home to see them.... I hope work doesnt take up too much of your energies, look forward to hearing your updates when you can manage them.

Was going to finish the post I started this morning but too exhausted...off to bed now..will continue tomorrow
Good night all!

Morning ladies!

Sat here trying to resist eating a dairy milk caramel but I think i'm just going to eat it anyway.

My latest stress is Dylans eating. We were incouraged by the fact I made a corned beef and potato pie the other day and he ate loads of it, then he also ate some of granny's carrot and coriander soup with lumps of bread in it, then he had some ready brek for breakfast instead of the baby stuff (this was over a few days) so we though we'd make a real effort to get him eating more lumps whilst he seemed in to it.

We bought some stage 2 jars (up intil now he has mostly refused these after a few spoons so has either been sucking finger food or having smooth puree).

Anyway, I think he is just being stubborn now as when we try yo give him anything lumpy he will only take a few spoons and then refuse to eat the rest. He doesn't gag on it, can chew it fine with his gums but just doesn't want any more!

For instance, he ate 5 spoons of porridge and banana this morning and then no more. Yesterday was terrible, he had 5 spoons of porridge, one spoon of chicken and noodles, one spoon of desert, tea time was better, he had about 5 spoons of cottage pie then had some toast and carrots from our tea and half a fromage frais. He also made a MASSIVE mess with a jaffa cake in the evening.

I'm not sure what to do, because i'm aware of his slow weight gain and the fact i'm 'under survalance' from the dietician. I'm constantly aware he needs to eat so if he hasn't been finishing food i've given him i've been giving him something else to make sure he's at least eaten. BUT, this doesn't really match up with how I want to feed him. If he was a good weight I would happily give him food and not offer an alternative if it wasn't finished, I may be wrong but I believe this would encourage him to be less fussy?

So... the last few days i've been trying to stick to this, 'ive been offering him what i've made and if it isn't eaten then not offering an alternative. i'm hoping over a few weeks he'll start to eat more and more of what I offer if he realises he won't get anything else. Only problem is it is REALLY stressing me out cause I feel like i'm starving him when he hardly eats anything .

If you've managed to get this far, well done. Do you thinkg I should carry on like this for this week and see if it works? I don't want him to be eating puree on his 1st birthday but equally I want him to put on enough weight that the dietician thinks i'm feeding him properly when I see her on 12th sept. I know I am feeding him 'properly' but I just feel like she wants to see results quick and he has had a set back with being ill so it won't be that quick. I don't want him to get in to bad eating habbits just for the sake of putting on some weight and meeting a line on the chart short term.

Oh god i'm babbling, sorry, just really stressed over this.

Any advice welcome.

Hope everyone else is ok, Floria, hope you slept ok x

Sorry to hear that inzi hope you're back on soon, i'll miss you!

Hi Dal I'm so sorry that you're worrying over Dylan's weight gain xxxx

Did the dietician give you any hints or advice or guidance as to what they think Dylan should be eating in terms of how much, how often? Did they give you any advice whether to offer different foods at the same meal? I really think they should have if they haven't as you've really tried just about everything and he still east what he wants in the amounts he wants.
I would keep a food diary for the week before the app to show they exactly what you are feeding him, how much and what the result was as this will then give you confidence when you go to see them that you have been a wonderful mummy and tried everything possible. If they question what you've been doing ask them for specific guidelines as to what to do or be referred to someone who can help.

I saw that same programme Inzi and I was amazed at how the body can adapt yet still function on foods that are 'bad' for you and also very little variation of foods. I also found it interesting that when a lot of the parents clamed down over meal times and just acted normally (not for one moment suggesting you are like this Dal, these parents had had years of stress and worry and I could see how they were at where there were at iyswim) around their children and made no fuss about what they ate they all seemed to begin to get a little better.

It's so very hard; we have Oliver eating very sporadically and has done since he was tiny. He'll eat like a horse for a few days and then hardly anything at all for a while after. I understand how you are feeling though my worries are different with Henry but I would definitely pin the dietician down on how you're to proceed.

I am wondering about the amount of milk too now that I am not breastfeeding in the day anymore - a bit worried he's not getting enough.

Dal I would say try and relax and tell yourself this time will pass!! Dareh can be really fussy with his food and getting him to eat is a real battle. I have to distract him with random kitchen items like wooden spoons and pots and while he plays sneak in the food.

My guess is that the most important thing is to be relaxed about food which is something I need to work on too!

I still fed Sam on purees until he was about 14 months because he just would not eat lumpy foods and would gag on it all the time. He is eating normal food just fine now so I would agree with muppetgirl and stay on purees, if he is eating them that is more important at this stage than lumpy food. HE WILL GET THERE EVENTUALLY

Thanks for the help everyone.

Inzi - yeah, I was just giving him what he wanted but he wasn't eating that all the time but most of the time. Only problem with that is I don't feel like he was making any progress at all iyswim and also I felt like he was becoming a bit bored of the purees hence why he sometimes wouldn't eat them. Oh I don't know!

He really enjoys trying to feed himself finger food but doesn't eat a lot of it, maybe one or two bites then the rest gets flung on the floor.

Muppet - The dietician was actually quite irritating as when I tried to tell her Dylan was fussy she just didn't seem to get what I was saying.

For instance, I explained that he'll eat something really well one day and then will totally refuse the same thing the next day, her response was 'well, you probably wouldn't want to eat the same thing 2 days in a row would you?' of course I answered 'No, I suppose not'. BUT what I was trying to explain was that he's like that ALL the time, I never know when he will eat and when he won't, it's totally random!

What I was trying to say to her was that feeding him, most of the time is a bit of a battle, therr are certain things her is more likely to eat more than others eg: fromage frais, banana custard but even these thigs don't always get eaten, some times he'll totally refuse these too.

I asked him what amounts he should be having and she just said that all babies are different so just to give him however much he will eat.

I told her he eats breakfast, lunch and tea and that lunch and tea include a pudding and she said that was fine.

I told her that he drinks 18oz of milk a day over 4 bottles and she said this was just the rigt amount.

She made lots of suggestions as to how to incorperate his high calorie milk in to his food eg; cereal, mashed potato, fish poached in it, custard, rice pudding, cheese sauces, baby rice etc etc, also more carbohydrates for eg; pasta, potatos, bread and pulses such as beans and lentils.

All very good suggestions I thought as I left the appointment and I have made them ALL and tried to feed these things to him several times but have had little success . I felt all enthusiastic when I left the appointment about all the new ideas I had to try for him but after trying them and failing I just feel defeated.

I did also try to tell her he probably wouldn't eat these things but her answer to that was 'well, they have to try something 17 times before they know if they like it or not' well yes, I know that but i'm not comfortable constatnly feeding him things he won't eat until he likes them whilst in the meantime he doesn't gain weight!

I mean, it's all very easy for her to say, feed him this this and this and he'll gain weight but she want to try sitting here and feeding him. Mil has brought 3 boys up and is a lovely person and even she has said that Dylan is exeptionally fussy and diffucult to feed.

Oh, I just feel like i'm trying so hard to feed him but nothing I do works and no one has any suggestions as to what will work . I even started giving him more jars in case he just didn't like my cooking, I've tried all the different makes of jars too, and I don't even want to feed him that many jars!!!

All the dietician said about what I was aiming for is that we need to get him from smooth puree to normal food by the time he is 1 and it's up to us how we do that. She called me a while ago as I missed an appointment with her (her fault as she sent the letter to the wrong address) and she kept asking 'is he jumping up the centiles yet' i said, 'well, no, he's only been on the new milk 2 weeks as we had to wait for the chemist to get it in stock and now he has a bug'. He is still on exactly the same centile he started at when he went on the milk because of the stomach bug he had and he's been on the milk a month and a half. I feel under pressure casue if she expected him to have 'jumped up the centiles' after 2 weeks then what is she going to say when he hasn't after a month and a half?!

Oh and I took a food diary to the dietician, which she requested, 3 days worth and she just quickly glanced over it then asked me how his daily eating routine usually goes. Erm, it's there in front of you on the paper!

Sorry, just rambling on and on, just thinking out loud.

Stefka - I know what you mean about havig to distract them, I used to have to distract Dylan with toys to get him to eat but it kind of stopped working, plus, he kept grabbing the toys and putting them infront of his face so I physically couldn't feed him!

Hope you get the milk dilema sorted out, not sure what to advise as I ff. Maybe just make sure he gets lots of foods made with milk, like the ones the dietician suggested to me?

Oh, and by the way, we saw that program about the fussy eaters too, dh in particular is scared Dylan will end up like 'little bobby' who would only eat fromage frais. Don't think he's quite that bad though!

Ok, massive rant over. Can you tell i'm hormonal?

Oh my god that was such a long rant

LLL - x-posted, well, I could keep him on them but I feel i'm beong watched by all the HCPs

Wish I had some ideas for you Dal. Remember that you know your baby best and the dietitian doesn't know what it is like to feed him.

I do find that Dareh might refuse something one day but will eat it a few days later. Then not a few days after that - it's all so random! I stick cheese in everything - that seems to help!

Oh Dal, you really have tried everything
I think you need to read your last post as if it were a friend and not you. You would say to your friend 'You have tried everything in many different combinations, you have tried jars, not jars, feeding him favourites, feeding him the same, not the same, etc, etc, etc!!!!!!!!!' You really have done everything anyone and even the professionals have told you to. I can feel the pressure you?re under from your post and really want you to know this isn't your fault and it isn't your fault if Dylan hasn't jumped up the centiles. I get the feeling your dietician thinks this is an easily solvable problem if you just do xyz.... but isn't listening to you when you tell her that you've tried xyz... and abc... Do you have a supportive dr you could ask advice? Have you posted here on mnet as the range of opinions are always fab?

Sorry I can't give you any direct 'do this and it will all be better' advice but I do want you to know I am here if you need a rant and I want you to know you are being a fab mummy x

Thanks,

Muppet - Your post made me cry. In a good way though. I suppose deep down I just feel i'm being shit and it's all my fault. I do get the impression that the dietician thinks it's is easily solvable and see's Dylan as a line on a chart rather than an individual person and a baby!

I have posted on here a couple of times but people have just suggested giving finger foods instead and leaving him to it. I could do this but he would eat much in the immediate future.

I feel like i've never been allowed to trust MY own instincts that he is OK since he was born and always have been told to do xyz by all the HPCs. First it was bf, was blamed on me that he wasn't gaining enough. Then ff, again, my fault as he doesn't take more than 5oz a bottle, never has. Now it's weaning.

I feel as though, if it was just Dylan and us and I didn't get him weighed or have any other babies to compare him to then I would hardly worry about him at all and would just see him for what he is which is a happy, enegetic, adorable little boy. I wish they'd all just butt out

Thanks again for helping me everyone, think i'll talk to dh about it and when we see the diatician we'll try to get the point across for firmly.

Inzi - thanks for the hugs Can't think of one specific thing but I do think he's quite sensitive and that lots of things might affect whether he wants to eat. He was quite windy when younger but infacol seemed to help.
I personally think he has a small stomach on general and gets full quickly but on the other hand sometimes he stuffs his face, although thats quite rare.

I think he can't be bothered eating unless he's starving hungry but it takes him ages to get hungry. I've tried leaving him to determine his own meal times but he just carries on playing and never winges for food?! So in that instance I just end up trying to feed him anyway as if I left it any longer he'd never get to bed at a decent time!

Which brings me to the next reason, if he's too tired he also won't eat.

He's also been teething lately so that has affected it too (although my hv said it didn't )

He also won't eat if he's overdue a poo or has trapped farts.

A lot of the time when I put him in his highchair he just stares out the wondow/at the washing machine/tumble dryer etc as if not interested and I have to try and get his attention!

Anyway, i've made him birdseye fish fingers, potao cooked in baby stock cubes for flavour and peas, cauliflower and carrots for tea so i'm off to see how he does.

Thanks again, back later x

Dal, I hope he has eaten his tea! No advice except a friend of mine has the same problem and her lo eats when she sees R eating next to her, but not otherwise (it doesnt work if adults eat...). Maybe try feeding him a few times next to another baby feeding? Just a thought, but really to send lots of hugs...

Oh and - if your AF hasnt come --- does that mean what I think it means...???

News this end is R did her nursery induction today - left her for 2 hours. She was fine till near the end by which time she was exhausted and refusing to sleep and crying. I arrived to find her in tears... not what I wanted to see... BUT they had loads of photos of her giggling and playing and she ate oodles so I think I just came at the wrong time. Went into work and it wasnt horrible, not as bad as expected (was dreading).

Got to go now for bf and bed!

PS: Well done Mairwen on walking!!! Good luck with work Crochet; am in much the same boat.

Floria, hello! YOu never came back to finish your message!

Choc - he actually did quite well with his tea, now it sounds like i'm making it all up! He ate quite a few pieces of everything and had a dew spoons of yoghurt to finish off. I think he prefers real food to lumpy purees which I suppose is a good thing.

No AF yet but been having intermittant cramps all day like it's going to start any time so don't get excited just yet

He does eat better when we eat with him think and when he ate the soup and bread the other day it was at the same time as his 6mo cousin so I thnk that definately helps even if nothing else does.

Glad R's induction went ok, it does sound like you just turned up at a bad time and she enjoyed herself there

We're off to the pils for a bit now so chat to all you lovely ladies later x

Dal - I would seriously consider stop going to see your HV, it is doing you no good its just stressing you out too much. Trust your instinct, if he is all ok in your mind that is all that matters. Good on him for eating well tonight too. Have you tried stopping lumpy purees and just tried feeding him chopped adult food (ie, what you eat?)

Just thought I'd tell you all what I've just written in a book for Oliver as it is his first day at school tomorrow... (the book is 'Dinosaurs Love Underpants', just his sense of humour )

?To our beautiful boy on his first day at school, we are so proud of everything you do. Enjoy school, it's a fab place full of amazing and interesting people, ask lots of your lovely questions -a boy can never know too much- but above all do your best as that is all anyone can ever ask and know that we love you in all that you do.
Lots of love Mummy and Daddy xxx?

I asked him about going in with him tomorrow to hang up his coat and sort his book bag out but he said 'erm, Mummy reception children go in by themselves so I don?t need you to come in.' When I said that I could come in just for tomorrow and then leave him after that he said 'No Mummy, I can go in by myself'

sigh

He's so independent

But so loveable

LLL - yes, we've been trying this more lately, just giving him what we eat and I think it is definately more successfull than the lumpy purees. Will keep giving him mostly what we have and see how we go I think, hope it actually works and isn't just a temporary thing!

About the HV, I have to go once a month on the advice of the dietician and paed to get him weighed but hoping that will become less and less and I won't have to go at all.

Muppet - what is it with you and making me cry today? I really had to fight to hold back the tears as I read what you wrote in Olivers book, it is soooo lovely!

Had a nice time at pils. They gave Dylan a book about cats which had a button on it that goes 'meow', only problem was, everytime we pressed the button his face crumpled and he started crying! Not like him at all, he's usually such a Jolly little chap. Anyway, we've left the book there for now till he gets used to it

Still no AF , there really is hardly any chance I can be pg...I must just be late?!

Anyway, hi to eveyone i've missed, hope you're all having a nice evening

Hello everyone
Thanks for the good luck messages re: work. I've done two days of my three now, and its been fine - so busy i've had no time to really miss Olly! And he's had a great time at the childminders - he really seems to like it there.
Crotchet and Choc - hope work has not been too stressful for you both either
Dal - I'm so sorry you are feeling bad about Dylan's eating. It must be hard when you have obviously done everything that's been suggested. If it's any help, Olly didn't always seem to eat all his finger food, but all of a sudden we realised he was actually eating more than we thought he was. And he definitely has days when he eats more than other days - just like us I suppose.
Muppet - love what you wrote in Ollie's book. Hope he enjoys school. My niece started school yesterday, she is also v independent and didn't want my sis to go in with her. Another little girl had to be cut free from a fence at hometime apparently after getting stuck!