Oct 2007; This Little Piggy Rolled & Crawled to Market, This Little Piggy Walked Home

[FloriaTosca]

I hope I manage to do this right...I'll kick everything off with a roll call if it does.

Hi everyone,
I've had a lovely day. Started off with dh bringing me breakfast in bed, he then got DYlan up and changed him,fed him and gave him his breakfast . I then opened my pressies off him and Dylan and the ones I had got through the post from my bro's. Got loads of lovely things, dh got me thinks for the kitchen cause I like cooking and baking so I got a pie dish and another deeper tray for quiche etc, got a new kitchen knife that i'd been going on about for ages cause my favourite one is blunt and chipped. Got some posy silicone pan grips, some alphabet cookie cutters, sex and the city 1st season on dvd, duffys new album, bon jovi in concert dvd, some new champagne glasses, a new leather belt from gap,some alphabet fridge magnets from Dylan, and last but not least a white nintendo ds with loads of games!!! That was just from dh. I also got clothes vouchers off both brothers and a recipe book for cupcakes from my middle bro and sil a lovely bracelet from my eldest bro and sil.
We then went to pil's where I got too many presents including a new frying pan (handle falling off mine), a bread board that catches crumbs (cause fil makes us homemade bread), a new quilt and pillow set, 2 recipe books, a gravy boat (don't have one), 2 m&s roasting trays, picnic set and picnic rug, tin of m&s belgian biscuits, recipe box with cards to write recipes on and a recipe folder... I think thats it from pils. Then sil and bil gave me a gold case for my ds with a picture of Zelda on it (my favuorite game when I was younger) and a loead of naughty treats including m&s chocolate bars, a thortons chocolate bar with 'happy birthday' on it, a big bag of peanut m&m's, and some tofifee(sp?).
Wow, I am a lucky lady!
Dh then dropped me off in town to have my hair cut, the hairdresser did it exactly how I asked and I love it! Got lots of compliments too so must look ok , he then walked in to town and met me, we went to a cafe for some rocky road chocolate treats and a cuppa then hit the shops. I got 2 new pairs of jeans 2 nice tops. Also bought myself 3 new nail varnishes.
We then went back to pils and ordered a curry and then they sang happy birthday and I had 2 cakes, one lemon drizzle and a daim bar cake! Needless to say I am now sat on our sofa unable to move from eating far too much!
Sorry if that was too much birthday detail, just thought i'd share...
Anyasmum- Great news on the job, bet you're well chuffed
Floria - hope Alex's little head is feeling a bit better now
J20 - hope the date is going ok and the peeping tom situation gets sorted.
Strawberry - hope you get the baby proofing done, we need to do the same, are getting there slowly and thankfully he's not mastered crawling yet.
inzi, alice - saw the BB contestants go in, what a bunch of loonies. Me and dh were getting annoyed at how they just seem to put mostly beautiful people in now to get the viewers, it's getting like that shipwrecked program!
newmama - hi there, long time no speak at you getting cut off, Stick around this time eh!
Muppet - hope the running is going well
LLL - Hope you're doing ok and looking forward to the trip to cornwall
Well, off to chill for a bit now with dh, hi to anyone I haven't mentioned, chat soon

Happy Birthday to you!Happy Birthday to you!Happy Birthday Dear Dal! Happy Birthday to you!!!!
Hope you got your fab hair cut and had a lovely day.

Hi All. Alex is eating me alive all night (well 3 times a night and wants up at 5.30)and wants to practise his new skill every waking minute now!I'm knackered so I need an earlyish one tonight. I'll catch up tomorrow. Love to all.

Dal;xposted. Glad you had a FABULOUS day! WOW at the generosity of your family. Though I'm quite sure you are more than worth it. enjoy what is left of your special day.

Thanks floria, i think i'm starting to digest the mountain of food i've eaten so should be able to move soon . Hope you get some rest.

Wow, you are a lucky lady, don't think I have ever had that many pressies. I only tend to get a pressie of DH and PiL nowadays

Glad you had a fab day. I am just gearing up for today, its DS's party at 1pm and I have loads to do, so will prob catch up tomorrow now. Have a good day everyone _

FT - yes another meet up is long overdue - I'll email you. Can't wait to see Alex walking.

Dal - belated happy birthday! Wow, can I have your family? Glad you had a fantastic day.

J2O - how did the date go? We need all the details!

Strawberry - hope you get babyproofed ok - we'll need to do ours soon I think.

LLL - enjoy your party.

Inzi - hope the weather stays nice for you at the zoo.

Anya's discovered bouncing - she's been trying to bounce on my knee for ages but I've not let her until now (doctor's orders). Anyway, she thinks it's the most hysterical game ever invented, which would be ok except she only does the work with her legs to start off and then expects me to carry on while she just enjoys it! My poor aching arms! So we've ordered a bouncer from ebay.

hiya, am home safe, date went ok, just met at the hotel, went for a few drinks, then went back to the hotel. we clashed a bit though, he's not really my type, far too opinionated and lives too far away, oh well at least i got a night away from the kids!

LLL-hope ds had a great day!
Inzi-hope you enjoyed the zoo.
Anyasmum-awww thats so cute, what bouncer did you get?
Alice-i can't imagine what it must be like seeing things like that every day, you're right it does make you think about how petty some of our problems can be.
FT-poor you, lack of sleep is awful, is it teeth or growthspurt? hope you get a good nights sleep very soon-on that note, wheres choc? WE MISS YOU!! hope the house move is running smoothly and you're getting more sleep too!
Dal -am very of your birthday, sounds so nice, glad you had a lovely day
newmama -welcome back, glad you got a years free!
strawberrylace-hiya! i so need to babyproof my house, got glass tables, wires everywhere, so not child safe, going to bath |Shannon, will try and get on in a bit

Lisa hope Sam's party went well!

Floria kept meaning to say I'm thinking of you with the sleepless nights.... It's worse somehow when they take a step back isn't it? I was quite happy when Adam woke at 10.30 and 3ish but once he started sleeping through I felt so much better and then when he stopped I felt even worse than before for knowing how good I could feel if you see what I mean? Thankfully back to sleeping better now so he WILL get there!

J2O glad you're home safe and sound - sorry the date wasn't as good as you hoped but like you say at least you got a break!

Dal sounds like you had a fab day yesterday!

Hello Inzi and Anyasmum and others....

We've had a lovely day today - just chilling really. We went to see a house today that one of the builders we are considering for our extension did up and it was fab. Making me quite excited of how our house might look when we do it.... Then went to a kiddies party this pm which was lovely. BB soon then and early night methinks...

Hi all

Alice/Anyasmum ? I know I?ve been a bit crap over Hen?s nursery 80 miles is a ridiculous amount to be doing!! The picnic BBQ sounds great; it would be a thread meet up which would be fab as I was wondering if I would ever meet some of the other ladies.

Anyasmum ? CONGRATS on the job!!! I?m having a shandy in your honour x

Dal ?Happy birthday!!!

We?ve had a fab weekend. Dh bought a wii on Thursday as we hit our savings target (sad but we would like a house with a bigger garden) so we treated ourselves to a Wii. We had friends over last night and we all played the different games, favourites in our house are bowling (Ollie and his friend just about got the hang of it) Mario carts (ollie and his friends fav) and boxing which we all liked. My friends dh punches like a girl and wasn?t very good whereas my fiend and I were really good at it (all those years teaching?.!) Would recommend it to anyone and that?s a huge compliment coming from me as I hate technology
We spent most of today up the gym as Ollie had a swimming lesson ?no armbands now and can jump in and swim back to the side with no armbands [stupidlyproudmummyemoticon] we then met up with some friends and he then spent a further 2 hrs in the pool playing with their children. Hen slept through all this in his pushchair with his blanket shielding him from the sun, We got the paddling pool out this afternoon but it?s punctured in a couple of places so although it just about works we do need to get another one.
The nurseries weren?t great as one was just a room with no windows ?how the heck does that get past Ofsted???? And the other was very adult orientated ?it ?looked? great but the displays were to show how great the nursery was not for the children to see or use. The first one seems to be the favourite and that?s a round trip of 16 miles a day so much better (2x 2 trips)

My friend has asked me to write something on PND for the NCT newsletter she edits so I did that this evening and I?m a little bit proud about it as I?ve not done anything like that before. It was great to write about PND in the past tense iyswim and also great to see how far I?ve come in 4 years. Me with 2 kids? That was never going to happen!!! Even if 1 other mummy reads it and says ?Thank God it?s not just me? I?ll feel it was all worthwhile.

Have a good weekend xxxxx

Hey everyone,
Alice - bet your getting excited about the whole extension thing! Glad you enjoyed the party and had a nice day.
Muppet - thats great you wrote something on PND, bet it will help a lot of women, I'd be interested to read it if you fancy forwarding it to my email but if you're not sure don't worry .
Well, been a long day, been visiting people and walking along the beach and haven't even had tea yet!
I'm working my way through a box of Toffifee's, very bad, must go eat some real food!
Hi to everyone I haven't mentioned, chat soon

Muppet congratulations on writing that stuff on pnd. I bet it's fab - you talk very eloquently about it on here and are very honest which I think will make it fab. Very brave of you but like you say if it helps even one mum it will all be worth it...

Hello Dal and everyone else...

And re the bbq / picnic - mail me if you're interested so I can try and plan something and see how many people are up for it... Seemed like most of you when I asked the other day!!!! It would be lovely to see you all - just need to see if it will work! I'm on alicetownend.doctors.org.uk

Or even [email protected]!!!

I'm going to bore you all sorry...

Light at the end of the tunnel

I?m sat here typing this in the study whilst my husband changes our second son and gets him ready for bed. Our first son is sat by him, talking to his brother and laughing at him making his baby noises. This ordinary scene isn?t one I thought I?d see as I suffered with Post Natal Depression (PND) just after having our first son and felt my life had changed far beyond recognition that I had somehow lost myself the day I gave birth.
I soon realised something was wrong after the birth of my first son when I became anxious about going out, that soon transpired into not wanting to answer the phone, opening letters and generally cutting myself off from the outside world which had suddenly become, or so I perceived, an overwhelmingly frightening place to be. I hadn?t bonded with my baby at all and desperately wanted my life with my husband how it was before he was born. This was leading to some rather alarming thoughts about wanting him to go away obsessions about cot death and ending with me being convinced he would die and I would be sent to prison. Writing this now I can see how ludicrous this all was and that my not coping with being a mother was as a result of many things but really not of my failings as a mother but, moreover, my huge anxieties over things with which I had absolutely no control. I told my health visitor but she, although worried enough to carry on home visits, didn?t refer me onto any other agencies that could help. My relationship with my husband was deteriorating as I was a mass of burning fury with something, though I didn?t know what it was at the time. I would explode into sudden rages for the slightest problem and my husband as since told me that when he pulled into the driveway he had no idea what he would find behind the door waiting for him once he had got home especially after the day he opened the door to me standing there with our son in my outstretched arms shouting at him to ?take it away from me? which he promptly did as I ran up the stairs. I went back to work thinking this would help which it didn?t as I began feeling that I was neither a good mum or a good teacher and the anxieties then translated to the classroom as I was becoming more and more unconfident in my own abilities as a teacher. I had this constant sinking feeling that ?they would soon find me out to be the fraudster I was? I eventually asked my husband to ring my Head teacher and tell him I could not go back. My Head teacher was incredibly supportive but really at a loss as to how to help so he let me go.
I knew the situation could not continue so I went to see my Dr with the idea of talking to her and asking for help. What actually happened was I started talking and then started crying and didn?t stop for quite some time. My Dr saw the situation was quite serious and immediately prescribed Anti Depressants and also made an appointment for me to see the surgery?s counsellor. I was dubious about the AD?s but she did explain that they aren?t ?happy pills? as the media would have us believe but stabilisers that make our mood calmer so we are then able to tackle the reasons of our depression. I eventually saw the counsellor but this didn?t help as the appointments were too infrequent and I was left with too many painful thoughts going round my head on my own. I was then referred to the local psychiatric service for an assessment which was daunting but the thought of feeling how I was any longer gave me the courage to attend the appointment. I was then recommended a psychologist with whom I had weekly session with for over a year. She used a mixture of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT ? how what we think alters our feelings and if we change our thinking we can change our feelings) and just talking and listening which helped tremendously. She worked with me through my second pregnancy and for 6 months after in case the depression returned.
So as my sons? laugh and giggle at each other I realise what a journey I have been on since having my children and because of them I am now looking forward to the future. Having children has been a roller coaster of an experience where I felt I had wanted to walk out the door and never come back many times but since I have thrown away the baby books, listened to all the advice I?ve been given but slowly learned to trust my own instincts I have found I?m actually quite good at this motherhood thing!

1. Talk, talk and then talk some more, to anyone who will listen. If you can?t face your loved ones the Samaritans are there 24hrs a day. You don?t have to be suicidal to ring them.
2. Go and see your Dr. There are a range of treatment options such as AD?s to CBT, counselling, psychology, psychiatry. If what has been recommended to you isn?t working go back and ask to try something else.
3. If you can?t talk then write. I had an exercise book where I wrote all my thoughts/feelings down this especially helped when I couldn?t sleep. Get the thoughts out rather than letting them go round and round your head. Give what you have written to your partner/Dr if you can?t face them. AT least they can begin to understand what is upsetting you.
4. Accept the road ahead may be a long and winding one. There is no quick fix but with the right treatment you should soon start to be able to face the world again. Talk to your friends, family and work colleagues and try to let them know what is happening. You will be amazed how supportive people can be in times of difficulty. This can also help to explain changes in behaviour before, during and after treatment.
5. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I was convinced I was going mad at some points, that I would never love my baby that I was abnormal and all other mothers were fab and I was awful but I now have a second son who has completed my family. I do have bad days still where I can?t explain why I feel down but I have learned strategies to cope with these days and also how to differentiate between a down day and just a bad day with the kids that everyone has occasionally.
6. Throw away the baby books. They can help but they should not be regarded as the only way of doing things as if you have ever read more than one you will soon realise they often contradict themselves anyway. They is no perfect way to bring up your baby, many of the charts for milk, food and sleep are based on the mythical ?average? baby that actually doesn?t exist. Women were having babies long before we could write, trust your own instincts; you know far more than you think you do.

muppet-bloody brilliant, it made me cry, well done you

alice-am up for BBQ

Anyasmum-well done on the job! didn't see it before my last post.

sorry for missing people out, am so tired, off to bed

muppet - thats already helped me... i just keep repeating 'this too shall pass' in my head.
thank you for posting it here.

hi everyone - hope you've all had a good weekend
muppet - what a great post, very inspirational
LLL - hope the party went ok
inzi - hope the zoo was fun
Alicet - we are also planning an extension on our house, to give us more room downstairs as our house is top heavy so downstairs always feels cramped. luckily for me dh is a builder/electrician so i already know who'll be doing our work!
J20 - at least you got a bit of a break...

well, our electrical cables in the lounge are all hidden away thanks to dh putting in some extra sockets. still have kitchen cupboards to do, but i have to tidy them out first and i couldn't face that! went to a friends surprise birthday party today - for once we've had lovely weather and could spend all afternoon in the garden chatting

Muppet - Brilliant and very well written. I'm sure it'll help more than one lady out there . Off to bed now, night all zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hi everyone

Muppet, that was beautifully written, and very good for someone like me who doesn't know much about PND but has friends suffering from it. Thank you for writing it down.

Dal, glad you had a good birthday - what a pile of presents! cant remember what I got last year, and this year is unlikely to be any more exciting.

Strawberry, handy that your DH can sort out extending the house!!! Sounds great. What have you got in mind?

J20, when's the next date??? we're living vicariously through your exciting love life.

Floria, cant believe he walks! he's growing up so fast. It must be bittersweet seeing that - I find it odd moving R from one age of clothes to another and having to pack away her too small clothes; it all goes too fast.

Well done Anyasmum on the job... and I can just see Anya thinking 'why sit down when I can roll everywhere?'

Well news from here is that we're more or less ready to agree dates for exchange and completion hopefully reasonably soon, and fingers crossed noone drops out in the interim. Went to see new house on Sat - it's really lovely. The garden is overgrown badly, so we'll need a pro in to sort it out. The kitchen is fab. The rest of the house is okay decor wise - I mean it's not exactly to my taste but we have a lot of time to change it. Exciting.
The weather has been FAB so we spent some of Saturday at the park, then Sunday we had a BBQ and got R's paddling pool out. She loved it. This afternoon I'm going to see a friend; hope we can sit in her garden!!!

Trying to think what else to tell you all.. sleep - don't even go there. Although it was a tad better last night, for no obvious reason, it has been absolutely terrible for a while. Fingers crossed we turned a corner last night...

OK, have a good day in the sun all!

Muppet that made me cry! Nice one - I am sure it will help lots of mums out there who are struggling, and lets face it we all do at times. And I think it will be a real life line for those suffering with PND to learn that they are not the only one.

Choc great to hear of a slight improvement last night - even if it does not last I am sure you appreciate the sleep whenever and however you get it!

Hello everyone else! Just a quick post from me - trying to sort some stuff out.... May be back later as dh is going on his bike this evening.

Hi everyone, what beautiful weather we are having... finally

Well ds's party went ok in the end on Saturday. It started raining an hour before they were all due to arrive at 1pm after very grey skies all morning, so we deflated the bouncy castle and covered it so it wouldn't get too wet. I then had a mad panic in trying to tidy the downstairs so the party could move indoors (I was gutted), also had to throw all the junk from the dining room upstairs so I could use it to put all the food in. I was a sweaty mess by the time people started arriving. It wasn't till it was all over and I looked in the mirror I realised I had not put a scrap of make-up on mortified is not the word

Luckily half an hour after they were all here the rain stopped, so we inflated the castle and put a load of blankets out on the grass and it warmed up and dried out sufficiently to be able to all move outside and to have the food and pass the parcel outside. I said goodbye to the last guest at 3.30 and my family started arriving at 3.45 for the second sitting so to speak. Cue more food preparation and hostessing until 7pm. Friends of ours stayed over with their lo and we had an hour of fun on the bouncy castle till the man arrived to take it down. DH reverted to childhood along with my friends DH and they were somersaulting all over the place. Cue loads of moaning from DH since because of friction burns on arms and aching limbs

Finally hit bed about midnight totally knackered Friday night I was up till 11pm finishing the cake off too so I am still tired now but it did go down well so it was worth it

Spent yesterday in the garden which was lovely and also clearing up outside and taking stuff to be recycled and today it is Sam's actual b'day so have just said goodbye to his granny and geat granny, and this morning I have been trying to regain order of the house

This week I now need to think about holiday as we go away on saturday for a week so I need to decide what to pack and get on top of the washing and ironing

Ben is crying so I'll try and catch up with everyone in a bit

Muppet; that made me cry too, I'm so terribly sorry for what you have suffered but so very happy ofr your joy in your boys now (I think that is what set off the tears ). Brilliantly written. Well done. I'm sure that your wise words will help a lot of women.

LLL; glad you had such a good day (eventually). Sympathy for the ironing pile, I tackled an ironing everest only last week it seems and hey presto its back again!Hope you have better luck.

Choc; Thrilled for you that the move is imminent. We moved 18 months ago to a house that "needs work" but like you it is livable with and will remain so until we have the money and the energy to tackle it bit by bit. Oh, and you are absolutely right about the bittersweet growing up thing...I still have all Alexs 3-6 months in the drawers because I can't bear to sort them out and am refusing to face the fact that only too soon he is going to be in 9-12 month clothes! And yet again I dearly hope that Rs decent nights sleep is the beginning of something new and beautiful.

Alice; thanks for the sympathy re sleep.... it isnt improving through the night but he is at least now going back to sleep after 5.30 again since we started using the curtains aswell as the blind, and yes you are right, it is harder after having cracked it once. Exciting about your extention plans, I hope you find a perfect builder.

Alex has been a bit...not himself.. quite cranky which is out of character..and cried himself to sleep at 6.30 when his normal bed time is 8.00...I just hope he isnt sickening for something. Right Dh needs some attention, sorry those I missed out...I'll be back tomorrow.

J2O - glad you got home safe even if the date didn't go as planned.

Muppet - your story is amazing and you write really well. I hope you're very proud of yourself - you deserve to be.

Choc - glad the house is on track. Keeping my fingers crossed on the sleep thing.

LLL - glad the party went well, despite the weather.

Have had a lovely couple of days. Went to friends yesterday for lunch outside in their garden. Their daughter who is 38 wks pg popped in (she looks radiant ). Her dad (our friend) is terrified of babies - he crosses his arms and legs and shrinks in a corner, he just doesn't understand them. Anyway, he's obviously decided that he needs to get a grip if he's going to be a granddad so he volunteered to give Anya a cuddle yesterday. Managed a couple of minutes while she did her unblinking stare (he's got a beard which is new to her) - he was so pleased with himself! His wife had to take a photo for evidence! Then today went into Manchester with Anya and my parents - had a chill out and a haircut and did a bit of shopping. Anya didn't have any naps at all today - every time she fell asleep she had to be woken up to go in or out of the car. It didn't seem to bother her but she crashed out in her cot at 6:30 and she's still asleep! She's missed tea - I've already dreamfed her once, I'll give her another one and leave her to sleep in her day clothes. Awww.

Hi to everyone else.
Sweet dreams
x

FT xposted - hope Alex is ok.

J20; I'm glad you are back safe too...shame he was too opinionated...but theres plenty more fish in the sea...enjoy the fishing

Anyasmum;wow on Anya not napping and not going into meltdown over it...I hope she slept well in her day clothes. Glad you had a lovely day with your parents. It is a shame you missed the pottery painting..it was nice...not as "arty" as I expected but I think the result should be quite nice and a surprise for DH..perhaps we'll do it again for Christmas. I'll email you to arrange another meetup
Thanks for asking after Alex.. he seems really bright in himself this morning but, on and off he hasnt been eating solids as well as usual for a week now, though he has been bfing, and yesterday he was terribly cranky, sleep resisted his afternoon nap and finally fell asleep in the pram while walking the the dog after a major screaming fit/utter meltdown(and hiccuppy sobbed in his sleep for the whole hour)not his usual behaviour....he woke 3 times for bf during the night and woke for good at 6am but he's not peeing as much as usual so I have put a sample in a zipperbag and I'm phoning the docs at 8.30 to get it checked...as you can see nothing much wrong in particular but just not his normal self[paranoid mummy]
Dh off to work now...I could do with going back to bed!