April 2007 - mmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooo,mmmmmmmm and that's all I have to say about the matter

[StealthPolarBear]

In honour of Pesha's recent postings

ds1 is being a real pain though

it has been going on for a while and it is all aimed at me

he really challenges me.....things like when I ask him to do something he says"make me!"

I am finding him really difficult atm

It is really wearing

I seem to spend half of my life angry which is very tiring, and I know that I am taking it out on the other dc, and especially dh......

he says he hates me

I know most people say they don't mean it, but I can remember saying it to my Mum and I meant it at the time

I have tried so hard to be a good Mum, and dh thinks I have been too soft on him

I don't know tbh

Things have got to change, but I don't know how..........

Life is just a constant battle and he is just constantly trying to wind me up (and succeeding!) by swearing, or upsetting one of the younger ones, or refusing to do as he is told, or tipping a toy box over, or banging a door.... I could go on and on and on

Anyone have any ideas???

I feel horrible, as when he was away last week it was really quiet, and we were all happy

I love him to bits, but he is driving me mad!

Oh Caz...First fab news about your dad
Your ds1 sounds like mineSome days i feel exactly like you do.I have no idea what to d half the time.I think i blame myself,but do know its not all my fault!Part of it is i think that they are growing up and pushing boundaries etc,also if they get a reaction good or negative i think thats what they want.I think sometimes its frustration as ds1 is bright and a total pendant.We are very similar[tho he is brighter than i was] I know i am the grown up and can cope for a bit then i explode!RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.I don't know if it is similar for you?????
Sometimes i am also too knackered to be constantly chirpy and encouraging etc.I think if he had attention etc for 25 hours ad ay it wouldn't be enough!He has always been like that.Then again he reacts so well to praise etc and then i feel hideousIt can be feckin awful.But we are human beings as well as parents aren't we?
Please don't be too hard on yourself.We are damned if we do and damned if we don't...AND...They will never really know what it's like till they have their own kids and/or about 40!

40 years old not 40 sprogs
I am pleased the funeral went well Bramshott and that is lovely news about your brother

Oh Caz, sigh. This is very hard for you and, not having had the experience of parenting an older child, I don't know what to suggest except I can tell you that you are NO WAY the only parent to go through what you are going through atm. You are not alone!! xx Glad all was ok with your dad

Glad last Friday went ok Bramshott and @ your bro's job - wow!! I think what Elkie said re your Granpa was beautiful

Brain emptied.

Repairs on car = £1,000

Dooby how old is your ds1?

Do you know, it does sound exactly the same as you..... I think he would have loved to be an only child ....

but he seems to get more time and money, and do more activities, and have more freedom than any of the others(because he is the eldest) maybe this is the problem?

My Mum and Dad think it is because dh doesn't spend enough time with him.....but like you said there are only so many hours in a day, and however much you do, it is never enough!

caz - nightmare - I have no ideas or advice but reading what you have written is where I see myself and ds1 in years to come. I hope something gets sorted - they have no idea how lucky they are

I am rubbish and can only remember the last post

Glad your dad's op went okay Caz. Sorry to hear about your worries with DS1. I know he's not a teenager yet, but someone once said something to me about teenagers which I thought was useful - that they are programmed to challenge their parents because if we all believed in and agreed with everything our parents believed in and did, we would still think the world was flat and wouldn't have moved on at all!

Elkie - your post made me cry (in a nice way). You have absolutely hit the nail on the head of how I am feeling and put it better than I ever could - thank you!

Caz he will be 9 in August.But has always been high maintenance[but prob not if you get my drift]How old is yours?

he is 11

caz, glad your dad is ok

i have no experience of older children so feel free to tell me to shut up, but i have noticed dd and one of her friends getting a little cocky at preschool now they are the eldest there. Do you think there maybe some of that for your ds? maybe once he starts at secondary school and he's having harder work that challenges him and bigger children around he will be better? i'm sre i'm talking b@*&S though. I just get the feeling that my dd will be better off at proper school, she loves preschool but i think she needs a challenge.

It may also have to do with being the eldest. i think i expect a lot of dd and forget that she's only young.

sorry, went off on a tangent then adn i'm sure none of it helped in the slightest

anyway, i'm off to spread out in my new bed and watch sir alan dh is out so i have the pleasure of a king size, comfy bed all on my own if only i had chocolate to take with me the night would be perfect

hi everyone

Eddas not rubbish at all.... thanks

and thanks Bramshott aswell

I hope that you don't have to go through it Oooggs!

Evening! Caz, there's a lovely chick on one of the other thread I post on who is having similar problems with her 12 yr old - would you be interested in me putting you in contact with each other!!!?

Hi all. Haven't read anything, but popping in to tell you all that I am off to A+E. Have been up for the last couple of hours with quite severe pain and my pain killers haven't touched it. Will let you know what is going on as soon as I know myself. Love to all xxx

Hope you ok Mammyjo??
Morning all.Hope all ok have a good day.

hope you're ok mj, thinking of you today. Hope they manage to help you

cd, meant to say the other day but about the cost of the car so not what you need.

hi all got day off to do house stuff so need to get on but just popped in for a very quick catch up

mammyjo - hope you are getting on ok at A&E and they relieve your pain. Praying for a good result for you.

Dippy about the car - is it worth fixing it? I guess you really need it don't you? I've looked on line for car clubs but the nearest to you is Brighton I think - unless there's another website I've missed.

Caz - you are not a bad mother! I clash with dd1 a little bit now and it is quite plain to me that dh 'gets' her in a way I don't - but we have a different sort of bond so that's ok I think girls are different from boys in this anyway - i think we're probably 3 or 4 years away from the really scary stuff. However I know people with boys - and in the two familys I'm thinking of 12-14 was tough and post 14 much less so. Good luck!

Hi to everyone else

Morning all

Dippy about car. Hope you manage to sort something out.

Mammyjo - Hope you've got on ok at A&E and the pain is more manageable. Thinking of you xx

Caz - You are definitely not a bad mother. No advise, but I can see J & I having similar problems later on.

Hi NL. Hope you get house stuff sorted.

Busy day today. Dentist this morning then drop Jake to preschool for 12noon. Pick him up at 3pm then straight to the opticians.

Out with my mums group girls tonight for either Indian or Chinese so really looking forward to that.

Morning! Had a text from NL this morning to tell me about MJ going to A&E - hope you are ok MJ honey!!!! Thinking and praying - perhaps this will mean things happen sooner rather than later for you!!? xx

Oooooh, Ange - a night out Lovely!

Glorious day here today, shame I am stuck in working this am sigh.....

Hope you are Ok MJ xx

Thanks to you all

I feel sorry for your friend Dippy - If she wants to get in touch that would be nice

and sorry about your car

The bill for my brakes the other month was £331 and yesterday, I got the bill for my sevice and a tyre - £246 so I know the feeling well!

Dooby has our dh been paid yet? mine has today.....

Dad just phoned me and sounded really bright and cheerful am going with my brother to see him later, and he should be out tomorrow night

Great news about your dad Caz Arse to cars Sigh. I'll send an email to both you and my friend and put you in contact with each other!

Caz - I haven't got your email address!! I'm captain_dippy "at" yahoo "dot" co "dot" uk Email me!

Hugs to MJ when you get to read this.

mj - hope you are ok

I'm off to the drs for a 2.30pm apt. to start the ball rolling

work was hell, too much to do and not enought time 'don't they know I am pregnant FFS'

Exciting GT