May 2007 babies. Shoes needed? Surely not...

[largeginandtonic]

Here we go ladies.

Who said my scan was Friday! Do you know something i dont?

The boy is like it every day, i really need to clean the bathrooms, they are driving me crazy. I need a cleaner!!

Pink hope you are ok darling, thinking about you xxx

Dunno! I could have sworn i saw Friday somewhere! Must be imagining things now. That'll teach me to read fast

maybe its positive thinking

LG&T - I can't get anything done with A around. I now take it all back about not understanding why the hell some people couldn't look after kids and do the housework as well. S would always amuse herself and not get into mischief. I could leave A in a room whilst I cleaned another, but she would have it wrecked, thus making the exercise completely pointless. I can get the laundry done and the tidying up, but I certainly wouldn't be able to get stuck into anything big.

Forgot to say well done to the new ex-smokers. Great stuff. I can't give any advice, because smoking is just about the only vice I've never had, but I can imagine trying to give up chocolate. It's not a pretty picture! Best of luck.

Hi MJ - after dinner is the worst time for me as well - its so difficult but will be worth it in the end. I'm really pissed off with myself for even starting smoking - I was so anti smoking when I was younger (parents smoked and I hated it). I got to 24 without ever smoking and went through a hideous time with the ex h and managed to develop a bottle of voddy and 20 a day habit. The voddy didn't last long but the cigs did Evil evil weed. DP and I are about ready to kill each other we're so short fused

Hello to everyone else and thanks for all the good luck vibes x

AM has just rescued me on MSN.... it is tough tilly, but we can do it! You can e-mail me sometime if you want to, save boring ear bending the lovelies here with our self pity.
cathalix2004 at hotmail dot com

So glad to hear you lost the voddy!

TYG.... tbh, I reckon chocolate would be worse!!!

I have realised in 3 days that soon, I will have given up smoking from not being able to make it out the door for flab.
It's a viscious circle.. want a fag, eat instaed, after you've eaten you want a cig so eat some more!!

PJ, Scoot how are you.. Worried about you both. xx

Scoot, i forgot to send my get well soon wishes to you. I hope that your Dr can offer some help to you and that you are on top form soon x

MJ - Fill the fridge with ready chopped fruit and so on, so when you want to snack, at least it will be healthy stuff.

MJ when I gave up smoking I used to down a large glass of water when I felt the urge. Makes you too full to snack, and rehydrates you into the bargain.

PJ, Scoot how are you my lovelies. Its all a bit tough at the mo. Please do keep talking to us we will try help as much as we can.

JB, Tilly keep going you are doing brilliantly, that hour after dinner is defo the hardest if you can crack that you are sorted. Someone told me to take up knitting or needlework I took up mumsnet instead.

Am hows the house stuff goign have oyu moved in yet?

TYG poor old A and you very preg and baby sick bleugh.

Scoot, SOH mailed me the other day and wondered did you fancy a little meet in Cambridge, think its relatively easy for us to all get there, is anyone else in the Camb area.

I bought DP mario kart for Fathers day, it is good fun but bloody nora I have missed Corrie tonight because of it.

Scoot - I meant to echo what the others said. I think you've had a HUGE amount to deal with in the last year. Not least having two babies, but also the move, the nightmare builders, DH's exams, your work issues and then to be sick on top of everything... All that stuff could get anyone down. In fact, I had a wonder the other day if your stomach problems aren't stress related or at least aggravated by stress. Have a good old cry when you feel like it and write down anything that's bothering you. It sometimes helps to see it on paper because it doesn't seem so huuuggge. When you go over and over things in your head, you tend to tie problems in with each other and it makes it seem worse.

I'm up for a meet in Cambridge, provided I'm more than a couple of weeks either side of giving birth.

I'm quite near Cambridge although the next few weeks look a bit mad. Mention a date though because it would be great to meet up.

Depending on when it is, I might be quite tempted by a Cambridge meet up (no need for us to travel into central London to get there).

Hello everyone, I have my evenings back - I wrote my last report tonight. Woohoo, at last I will be able to clean my house and play with my children again!
PJ sorry to hear things are going badly with dh. I can't add to the great advice you've has on here but wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. We've been through bad patches, probably more recently and tbh most of it is financial based.
Scoot sorry to hear you're still feeling poorly. Let's hope your gp can do something for you. It's horrible being ill when you know you've got the lo to look after isn't it.
Tilly and MrsJB - good luck! Stick with it you're doing great. Dh and I gave up when we decided ttc the first time. It was hard at first but we did it. Tbh we gave up after going on holiday for a week with very heavy smoking friends. We had a cottage in Whitby and all they did all day long was smoke. Fags for breakfast was more than we could cope with and we came home feeling so ill we gave up!!

I am sitting in the dining room writing reports (well - clearly not because I am on here) listening out for Dh who has got the tummy bug that S has had.. I don't know if you remember that he had one before and ending up being unconscious whenever he went to the loo/was sick. I am really paranoid and if I hear him go to the bathroom I shout out to make him keep the door open so I can rescue him if he faints. Poor bloke - no privacy! Not sure how much sleep I will get tonight because I will wake and stay awake if he gets up because I will be so scared he'll collapse again.
Better get back to reports - I'm v jealous Abbylou!
btw - good luck MrsJB and Tilly - you are doing v well. I used to visualise those pics of gloopy lungs/awful skin etc when I was giving up and that generally helped the moment of craving pass.....

OK - I was right to be paranoid. Went upstairs at about 11.30 to find him lying on the floor by the bathroom because he was dizzy. Cue the rather farcical scene where I was moving his legs for him to get the blood moving. It was not so scary this timem because he was with it and he maintained the colour in his face - not the deathly pallor we had last time.
I am knackered - DH woke again at 1am and stirred at 2. DS1 came in at about 3.30 thinking it was morning - very wide awake - wtf? He never does this...put him back to be and he reappeared at 4.15...and then went to sleep. DS2 woke at 6 for a feed.
I'm tired.

Sorry anneme, hope your dh feels better soon and that you get to catch up on some rest.

Oh nightmare of a night. Boo.

A was sick again this morning, but not last night or anything. Weird.

Have had to abandon the marital bed for DH's sake. Went to bed for some nookie last night. DH fell asleep, I almost fell asleep, then woke up and fidgeted until I felt so sorry for DH, who had just done a 13 hour stint in the office, that I scuttled off to the spare room. Had to do this the other night as well. I am so restless. Think I'll just set myself up in the spare room until the end of the pregnancy now, where I can fidget to my heart's content. Am sure the approaching full moon made me worse last night.

Am idly wondering if DS will make his appearance in 4 weeks time (I'll be 38 weeks) when the next full moon occurs, or will it be when I'm 42 weeks. A arrived around the full moon, two weeks after her due date. Hopefully the former...

Blimey I have had to write notes so I can keep track of what has been going on with everyone

SOH a very well written post, definatley practicing for a novel

MJB well done on cigs - long may it continue

TILLY Well done to you too, hope your dp's eye is ok and nothing serious

LGT A threw my mobile down the loo, when I got home from work there was nail polish, scissors and about 5 other bits and bobs, I only manage to keep on top of the house due to a strick routine - here goes, everyone up and dressed and breakfasted by 9.30 (remember we dont have school run), kids playtime until 10.30/11am I wash up do some laundry sweep floors, 11am milk and nap for Arlen, snack for dd, 11.15 dd does worksheets, I carry on with housework mop floors ect, 12.15/30 dd and me have lunch, 1-2pm Arlen wakes up then has lunch about 15 mins later - after this we all go for a walk, kids have playtime when we get back I start on dinner, 4.30 ish is bathtime followed by dinner, bed for Arlen at 6.45 bed for Willow 7pm, Get dishes and ironing done then have bath and collapse in a heap, dont forget tho I dont the the ruddy school run breaking up the day and I only have 2 to look after - must say it has also been easier to get everything done with dp away

Scoot hope you start to feel betetr soon, dont take any crap from your doctor its his job to look after you

TYG Hope A is feeling better soon, nasty tummy bug shooo away, well done on the nappy bargain, I wonder if there is something in that full moon theory - would make sense, I dreamed the circumstances of both births, I remember that fidgeting I used to end up annoying myself that I couldnt get comfy

ABBY Well done on getting those reports done

ANNEME Hope dh is better soon and its nothing too serious

I had a super lie in didnt wake up til 8.45 went to bed at 9.30 was reading till 10 so had a great sleep, today my pancreas hurts, I am waiting for my gp to call so I can get some stronger painkillers, must say it is becoming a little concerning that I live on painkillers, I have tried going without but end up in pain, probably just getting to me as I know I have to cope without dp here to take over when Im in pain

Taking dd swimming today - was doing to walk the 4 miles there and back but think we will taxi it today

Hope everyone is well today

Has anyone been in contact with Pink? Are you ok?

Hello my lovelies.

I'm fine, thank you so much for caring. It means the world to me. LG &T - I would have called you but I wouldn't have been able to speak without him hearing me. SOH - what an amazing post, you are spot on.

TBH - we've always fought about money, it isn't really any different since L came along, except I am 1k a month worse off after going part time. Because dh pays the mortgage, which is a big chunk of his salary, he feels I am 'sponging' off him. He doesn't like to spend, he likes to save, whereas my philosophy is the complete opposite. I think one of the main problems we have is (and please don't read this like I am blaming her) is L's sleeping, which I know is my fault. We've got to a point now where I am going to bed with her at 8pm, and then won't leave the bedroom in case she falls out the bed. Dh told me he just 'wants his wife back', but he doesn't understand how hard it is for me to listen to her cry (if we try to 'sleep train', I mean). It breaks my heart and I find it so stressful that I end up crying too, and just give in. Then I feel cruel because she's cried for no reason, and so it goes on.

The top and bottom of it is, he feels pushed out, and feels like my relationship with L has completely forsaken all others (to coin a phrase).

The reason we started fighting on Saturday was because I got home with L after a day out, and he'd bought a seat to go on the back of his bike. Can you imagine how much that freaked me out? Anyway, it escalated from there, and he said that I was obsessed with her and he didn't care about me etc etc.

It has all been 'forgotten' now, but still the underlying tension remains. And he says such vile things to me, that there comes a point where I can't just forget them and accept that they may have been said in the heat of the moment, things like he'd happily leave me, but I'd get the house and half his savings.

I completely agree with you SOH - that he hasn't developed the same bond with L as I have. He only gets in at 7.30pm most nights. He spent all Sunday morning with her, which was wonderful, and I managed to get things done, but its almost as if he's doing me a favour. When I thank him for doing it, he says I treat him like the 'hired help', in that I feel the need to say thank you, when she is his daughter.

And so it goes round again.

Sorry to moan, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kind thoughts and words. x

Oh sweetie, so glad you've come back, we were all getting worried.

Just a thought, if you feel the extent of the problem is Ls sleeping but you can't stand the "sleep training" could he not do it? You could go out, it would take a week, maybe less. That is of course if you both want to crack the sleep training. It would give him some time with L, it would give you a break, use the time to visit some friends, do some late night window shopping , see your mum etc... but be away from the tears. It may take some will for you to do it, to trust him, but you would gain back your evenings, he would gain back his wife, L will without a doubt be happier in the long run. She knows how to play you now and she knows you can't bear the tears, she'll turn them on when she wants your attention. Do you think Dh could do it?
As for the nasty words, I can understand how sad you are about them, it is not acceptable, playground behaviour IMO, he has to know how hurtful he has been, have you talked? He needs to understand that as a "family unit" now it is not about one providing/one spending but everything has to go into a bigpot and as a family you use it accordingly! Whatever I have I share with you and all that!! I'm sure they were in our wedding vows.

Feel free to ignore the suggestion but it sounded as if you felt the root of the problem was to do with the sleep habits, they don't need to be changed if you are both happy but if it is that causing a problem then maybe it would be good to address it. L will not be harmed by it, I assure you.

Thanks MJ - I don't want it to come across as if I am blaming L, as I said we've always argued about money. I think its a combination of things really, and L's sleeping is just compounding the fact that we don't spend any time together.

I've always enjoyed my own company, as I am an only child, and am used to it. So we've always spent time on our own anyway, and its never been a problem before, but when the choice is taken away, its a whole different ball game. A few people have suggested me letting him do the sleep training, and I know that worked for TillyScoutsmum, but I have to be honest, I wouldn't trust him. He is always saying, 'we'll just have to leave her to cry', and I know that's what he'd do and I couldn't bear it. I'm just pathetic. I know I am. I so wanted to be able to adopt the same philosophy as SOH when it comes to sleeping, and let her come to bed with me, but, well, she's exhausted if she doesn't go to bed til 9 and then has to be up at 7, and then I feel like a bad mum because she's tired and grumpy, and I can actually feel my heart starting to race as I type this.

I just want us all to be happy.

As for the money, I suggested at the weekend that we just put everything into one pot, even suggested that he give me an 'allowance' of sorts, but he just smirked and said 'its not the money, its your attitude to it.' By that he means my feeling that if we ever need any money, we can use his savings. He's constantly asking me what I plan to live on when we retire. He wants to change my whole philosophy around money, and he can't. We argued on Sunday because he was faffing about in Morrisons trying to find the cheapest loaf of bread, and I 'rolled my eyes'. I swear to god, we are definitely not on the breadline, but you'd think we were.

I think thats a good idea Pink..Mrs JB's..nothing is any better when you are tired is it?
And that would help DH feel a bit more involved if he is feeling left out, were he to help out more with the sleep routine etc..
But some of the things he has said to you have been out of order IMO..Does he aknowledge that?

With re finances, as you will all know I do like to shop.And DH does not (he is an accountant which doesnt help matters)We both contribute to the boring account (mortgage and bills etc) But because I am part time he pays more into the joint pot for bills etc than I do..but then we both have a bit of personal money left over to do what we like with..And neither of us is allowed to comment on what that is spent on..which saves arguments..could you maybe do something like that?

Thankyou all for your words re my wobble..I am stressed out and tired with work and the girls and being poorly..its the never ending-ness of it that is maybe getting to me I think..but its not going to change any time soon so its about coping with that I think (like everyone else has to-I am really annoyed with myself for being such a princess-it isnt me at all)I will speak to the GP but I dont really wnat to take anti-depressants or anything like that so we shall see..
I should just take some time off I guess but I have a full diary until the end of July at work so something will have to give somewhere..

Sorry to hear DH is sick Anemne.What does the Dr say?.. and A TYG..hope they are on the mend..I cant believe you've only 4 weeks to go!

I can do Cambridge, be good to have a meet up to look forward to..Fridays are best for me but not the next two as am working both..4th or the 11th July?

I still have Ascot on Thurs as well and am determined to go, misery guts or not.Largegandt will be very proud as have a frock with red flowers on a turqouise background and red shoes.(Sounds horrid when described but quite nice in RL)

Sorry cross posts Pink..

Will L go to sleep in your bed without you in it?Or do you have to be there?Can you get her off to sleep in it then get up and leave her?