PJ - I'm sorry for your woes. Although we haven't fallen out over it, (loads of other stuff though!), DH does find it very hard to come to terms with the responsibility of being a father. He feels really anxious about work a lot now - nothing has changed at work, it's just that he can't bear the idea of not being able to provide for his family. Sometimes he just says that the responsibility is weighing him down, but sometimes it comes out as being narky as hell when I mention something that needs doing to the house or something I want to buy. Your DH should never call you a sponger, but I'm wondering if he's stressing about feeling like the "provider".
As Cam and the others have said, most relationships go through this rough patch. With us, our first year of marriage was totally sh'te to the point of wondering if we'd made a terrible mistake and I think getting over that has probably made us stronger and better able to cope with having kids. Unfortunately it sounds like having a baby (as opposed to getting married) has been the catalyst for changes and stresses in your relationship.
I find that in situations like this, someone usually has to take the role of the calm, reasonable one, who at least appears to be willing to make sacrifices and changes in order to get the talking going and put aside the sort of "well if you won't do x, then I'm not doing y" sort of talk. If you can manage that, then you should find that you can get your end of the deal sorted out further down the road. For the time being, try to get DH to talk about how he's feeling, what he thinks you should be doing differently and so on. Suck it up for now (you don't actually have to agree anything!) and get talking. Once he feels like he's been heard, he'll be more willing to hear you. I hope that helps a bit. x
Cam - sorry about the bok-awps. (That's what they're called in our house, since that's the noise they make!)
Got A to do her first finger painting for DH for fathers day and she scribbled in his card. He was chuffed. (As was I, because I didn't waste my time trying to find a "gift" in the shops for him.) We went ooop north to Yorkshire on Saturday morning so DH could spend Sunday with his dad. A seems to have yet another tummy bug, or teething is upsetting her stomach. Not sure which, but she vommed spectacularly in the car on the way home last night, somewhere around Melton Mowbray. Thank God it was warm, dry and still light, because I could pull into a layby and strip the poor child down, remove pieces of undigested chicken from her mouth and nose and change her into fresh clothes. Had to do the best I could on the car seat with baby wipes and a thick layer of my Jo Malone orange blossom scent to disguise the smell in the car. Yeuucch. Only 100 more miles to drive after that. For once DH didn't complain when I floored it. She must be feeling really ropey because I couldn't even interest her in a Rich Tea finger earlier. She's managed to puke all over her toy garage and only keep down some bread and some milk. She's looking for hugs too, which means she's miserable. Normally hugs are a huge inconvenience to her. Thankfully she's sleeping a lot.
If anyone uses Nature nappies, my local Waitrose had them on offer, 3 packs of any size for £14. They're usually £5.99 per pack. Not sure if they have the offer in every store. I just came home with 3 packs of baby size and 3 toddler size. I suddenly felt overwhelmed by the fact I will be using them ALL very soon. Eek.
LG&T - Did you get your scan date yet? I can still fit behind the wheel of the car at them moment!