I can summarize:
It turns out Jam's house was built on an Indian burial ground and after the 7th night of ancient spirits in her bed, she's packed up and moved back to civilisation.
AM has been on a beach holiday to Skegness. She bought a Kiss Me Quick Hat and some rock with her name on and is pregnant with twins.
SkyTV has seen the error of her ways, thrown out the television and taken up crocheting instead.
PinkJenny has moved house. She lives in an annexe at ScouseWorldHospital.
LG&T found two extra children under the sofa that she'd forgotten about in the throng and has named them Rufus and Marigold.
TYG is the first Irish lady to win mayorship of London and is introducing free icecream for all as her first policy.
Pebble has house swapped with MKG.
Shall I go on?
PS So glad you're home and back. Whereabouts is the pain?