back again, feeling ok this morning. What worries me lately is that a lot of the time I feel ok but just occasionally and very randomly I find myself having what I can only describe as suicidal thoughts, not that I would do that but I don't understand where they're coming from? Is it possible to be depressed but not feel depressed all the time? It's like it's just bubbling under the surface and just pops up occasionally, I scare myself with these thoughts... For instance, this morning I was brushing my teeth and I just thought 'maybe I could just kill myself', almost as if the voice came from somewhere else, I mean I was just brushing my teeth?! I'm not sure whats going on, anyone ever had anything like this? .
As I said though, I feel ok right now.
Anyway...
Floria - glad you got through the verdi and that Alex went to bed without a fuss, that must have been a relief.
Inzi - thanks for the advice re feeding, suppose I could try a different formula, only problem is he was a bit constipated on SMA and i'm not sure what to change to cause he's on aptamil at the moment? What does everyone else use? Glad the sleeping situation seems to be improvin a bit, hope it continues to get better.
Anyasmum - thanks for you kind words, nice to know someone else has been through the arguing, makes me feel better, not that i'd wish it on anyone... Wow at Anya having a cooked breakfast what a big girl!
Muppet - wish I had the energy to do as much excercise as you! Hope you enjoyed lunch at your friends.
Mine - Glad Eren is ok now, hope his litle bump is going down, must have been worrying for you. Keep expecting Dylan to do that one day, he's such a little roller now!
Choc - my symathies on the sleep situation, I honestly don't know how you cope, you must be made of stronger stuff than me! Hope it gets better soon, think the c/o might be a good idea, well, it's worth a try, i'd think anything is worth a try after you've been getting so little sleep for so long...
Stefka - well done on going to the gym, in my experience, any type of excercise automatically entitles you to a treat so don't feel bad about the chocolate . I'm supposed to be dieting as i'm going to be my brothers bridesmaid in 2 months but yeasterday I had pizza for lunch and chip butties for tea , I went with the theory that that 6 mile walk cancelled it out .
Oh I haven't told you all about the walk, we went with sil and bil and Dylan and our nephew who is 17 mo. We decided to walk along the river Tweed and then weren't sure where the path went after that but the men decided we should 'see where it went' (bad idea). It went up through some woods, not the best terrain for the buggies, the men had to push them through the mud, over tree roots, round stones etc, then, just when we were wondering where the hell we were, there was a sign that said if we went to the left it was 3/4 of a mile to the bridge at the bypass (on the other side of berwick) so we took that route. The muddy, bumpy path went down hill and ended up at one of those gates where you have to go through one half before you can go through the other half... so then we had to take the buggies apart and pass the frames and seats over the gate to get through. Then, Dylan got hungry so we had to feed and change him in the middle of a random field full of sheep! We followed the path along the other side of the river which wasn't muddy anymore but was covered in sheep poo, which dh stepped in and got all over his heel very funny! Then, We came to a sty followed by a very narrow path next toa sheer drop to the river [despair emoticon] so had to take the buggies apart again and basically carry the buggies along the path with the lo's in them as it was impossible to push them with the path being so narrow. My nephew then grabbed a passing nettle and started crying so we all had to search for a dock leaf to try and relieve his pain . The path cam out at some steps so we had to carry the buggies down those, go along a path with loads of thorns (2 got stuck in the tyre which now has a slow puncture) and then there were more steps back up to the main road which we had to carry the buggies up again.... It was then anout a 25 min walk back to dh's parents house. We decided to never do that walk again with buggies! Bad bad idea, we were totally knackered when we got back but also pleased we'd (accidentally) done some excercise .
Sorry to go on there but had to share the ridiculous story with someone!
Well, i'm gonna go give Dylan some breakfast, he seems to like the muller little stars yogurts so i'll give him one of them
Hi to everyone I haven't mentioned, catch ya soon x