March 2008 births

[MarchNowFebMum]

Welcome March Mums (and late Feb/early April Mums!) from the March 2008 threads.

Turtle - they won't be carting you away!

Reading your posts about bfing reminded me of how desperate I felt when feeding dd1. The physical feeding was fine and she was thriving but I wasn't. Completely drained, and dreading the next time she wanted to feed, which felt like hourly until she was about 6 months old. DD2 and DS have been completely different, I almost had/have to remind them to feed, and because each feed is at most 15 minutes (unless I want to avoid bath and bedtime for the other two in which case it lasts an hour!!), it has just felt much easier, both physically and mentally. One of the things I hated most about feeding dd1 was the dependency and sort of claustrophobia, is perversely the thing I love most about bfing the second two. With dd1 the HV kept saying, once feeding is established it will get better, and then when it didn't she'd say just give it a few more weeks, ad infinitum. I was determined to do it, all the other mums in my NCT group seemed to find it a breeze and my (inappropriate in this instance) competitive instinct wouldn't let me admit defeat. We struggled on and by 6 months it was a joy, and we carried on to a year. But those first 6 months where soooooo very difficult, but I just couldn't admit not coping. Got through it mind you, I just wish I had been more realistic about bfing. I'm sure I would have carried on, but some of the emotions might not have been so difficult to deal with.

BUT, giving BFing a really good shot (not sure how old you LO is, can't keep track) is a fantastic achievement, and it is not defeat to move to formula (either completely or partially), but I fully appreciate that it is a difficult decision to make.

Best wishes to Preggers - hope the treatment goes smoothly and remember that we're thinking of you.

Yay turtle - just one more day is a good plan! Today may be the day when you and Pascal have a great day and that may persuade you to keep going just a little longer! But if it is a rubbish day then you have given it another day and so you are making a decision from an even more informed position IYSWIM

I also think that if introducing one or two bottles of ff is going to make you feel better and maybe preserve bf for longer then that is a much better way to go than cold turkey. If you go cold turkey you may well not be able to go back to bf, but if you drop down gradually you may find a happy medium or give yourself enough of a breather that you feel mentally strong enough to go back to full bf (and your body will be better placed to do that as it will only have to up supply for 1 or 2 more feeds rather than having to relactate from scratch) Plus Pascal will continue to get the benefits of bf but also hopefully a more rested, happier mummy. See my thread here on mixed feeding for some comments from some people on that, and perhaps post on it if you would like advice on mixed feeding as well.

I've been having supply issues (my anaemia leading to his slowish weight gain - ave 4oz per week) and wanting to move to more mixed feeding and then yesterday was still horrid but it got to the end of the day and I realised that for the first time since he was 2 weeks old my baby was excl bf (he didn't go down until 9pm so we didn't want to wake him at 11 for ff as usual so he ended up being bf at 1am instead). I know that won't continue but it was a small victory in that I felt like I could feed my baby if needed and has given me the strength to continue as we are for a litle while longer at least. Small victories are often all that is needed to keep you going for a little while longer.

Good luck with HV today. You have had a rough time with DH not being very helpful and being away often etc. plus problems with bf, and they have spotted that circumstances are not ideal for you which means they are doing their job well. I know they can be a nightmare at times (e.g. their rubbish bf advice to you) but in their own rubbish way they are there to help so take a deep breath and see how it goes as they may be able to. If they can't, we'll still be here to cheer you up

I should add that the thing that makes this the hardest is that Pascal loves nothing in the world more than his boobie. Every time I start to get them out he wriggles and giggles, he loves feeding and makes the loveliest noises. It upsets him greatly when anyone comes near him with a bottle. He's gone back to feeding for normal periods of time, his reflux seems to have calmed a bit as have learned to feed him more upright, he never screams anymore, burps right away...it's just me who doesn't really like it. [guilty bad mummy emoticon]

turtle - there is nothing wrong with you not liking it when baby does. Leo loves it generally apart from really faffy, long feeds in the evening (which are really supply issues i think) - he even regularly gets in position on dad and soaks his shirt with drool because he is so excited by the prospect of breasts! But I find it exhausting and very intense and [shh, don't tell anyone i said this] also quite boring. I know you are supposed to interact with your baby but he is positioned so that he is staring at my arm rather than my face and he never responds when I talk to him as he is too focused on food so I end up watching crap daytime tv while he does it (haven't worked out how to read or knit one handed yet ). I have just decided that I can't feel guilty about the fact that I don't adore it and instead try to focus on the fact that he is at least getting breastmilk. I do feel guilty about my crap supply and his consequent slowish weight gain - 9lbs at birth and only 11lb 2oz at 9 weeks - but I just won't pretend that bf is easy and lovely and fulfilling anymore.

HQ- If it makes you feel any better, DS stares at me the whole time he's feeding and I feel guilty but try to smile. He then grins back at me and milk goes everywhere and as cute as it is I just wish he'd get on with it. Have found that I am clenching my teeth the whole time with stress.
At least HV was nice to me this morning. Wish she'd stop telling me how tired I look every time I see her though.

hi turtle, awe inspiring to see you carrying on pluging away at it. you are very strong!

and rofl marsphas3: i have the same mysteriously long evening feeds as well. its really odd how they start then last exactly the lenght of time of 2 friends episodes...

wbpa - thinking of you.

turtle - well done. i was going to post yesterday to say good luck with stopping bf and now you've done another day. wow, you must be very determined. if you do stop i think you can be hugely proud that you did it for so long, most people in your situation would have stopped aaaaaages ago. love the name Pascal btw.

mb - lol. i also have extra long feed at that time!

wonder if we'll hear from mnfm in canada. interested to hear how little one manages the big flight. and how her mum manages too of course.

mamaglam LOL at your dad being on facebook too! mind your ps and qs now

preggers - hope everythings going well

turtle - sounds like your going through the mill [hugs] youve done a fab job bfing pascal for 10 weeks so dont feel bad if you feel its time to switch, you have to do whats best for you. hows today gone? x

went to baby massage yesterday which iz managed to sleep through!

just realised there will be a due march 09 thread soon , this time last year we were all busy getting pregnant

We weren't busy at all spugs. As Mr P reminds me - it was a one off!! Not exactly accidental but had intended to wait a few months before trying again. It does remind me that it really is about time Mr P and I got some action.

turtle just popping by to see how you are doing, hope you're ok. Seems like loads of advice, and comments here so I won't add to it but just sending hugs of support.
All fine with us and love to all. Can't believe this time a year ago...how it has all changed here!

Question on jabs: DS had his first lot today and has been a bit out of sorts as I expected (eating little and often, crying a lot, dozing a lot). Anyway, currently he is dozing rather than sleeping, and looks like a zombie as his eyes are sort of slightly open and he's really still. It's really unsettling - should I be worried? I did give him a dose of calpol at about 8pm because he kept waking himself up squealing and sounded in discomfort so I wonder if the calpol is doing it.

Sorry - I'm being a bit PFB I think, but DH is out at some work dinner tonight so have nobody to sense check with!

sorry hq, i was already in bed last night. how did you night go?

mine was bloody appaling...sick baby from 2am!

Oh merry - poor poor you, and poor gg I hope he gets better quickly and that you get some sleep today.

Our night was very odd. Leo was very unsettled all evening - would sleep for a while then shriek and wake himself up and cry but he'd then settle really quickly which is very unlike him - he was sort of comatose but disturbing himself. I kept checking him when he was asleep cos it was a bit worrying. He then woke up properly himself at 11pm just as his dad got home. So dad tried to do dreamfeed (hasn't seen DS much the past couple of days due to work) and DS just kept grinning at him and refusing to take the bottle! In the end I had to do it - his reasoning seemed to be that boring old mummy is not as exciting as long lost daddy so there's no point grinning at her and i might as well just eat So he took 6oz from the bottle and then demanded more so ended up having a breastfeed as well - it's normally a struggle to get him to take 4oz at that time. And he ended up sleeping through until 5am which he hasn't done in weeks!!!

I had a bit of a cry about breastfeeding to DH last night. My big issue with it is that I lose confidence as I go rather than gain it. I'm somebody who works really hard at things in the early days to get confident with them - do my research, practise, spend time thinking about it, talk to people etc. - but breastfeeding is the first time in my life where that approach which has worked so well for everything else seems not to work at all. The more I learn, the more it confuses me, and I worry that DS is not putting on weight like he should - only 11lb 2 at 9 weeks despite being 9lbs at birth - which makes me feel useless. I'm going to call LLL or somebody else today. I didn't really click with our local NCT BFC plus she's not very good at getting back to people anyway, so I need to find someone else to talk through it with. Feeling a bit about it all at the moment but trying to be bloody-minded enough not to crumple just yet.

Ooops. Got to go - just heard large explosion from DS and better change him quick...

HQ- take heart, you are doing a fantastic job!! His weight gain sounds fine to me, remember that weight gain is not the best or only indicator of a healthy baby! You have overcome so much and are still going. Have you tried the breastfeeding network? I have found their helplines really useful. And you get connected to someone local. I find it so hard to let go and just go with it (whatever "it" may be for the moment) but maybe that's what you need to do because from the outside I'd say you're doing great. You're feeding your baby!
(btw, I thought dd was funny for up to a week after her jabs, but just went with it adn now she's back to "normal"!)

MB- Poor you..hope he's better today.
HQ- I know how you feel. BF is the most boggling thing I have ever encountered. Perhaps those of us still doing it should band together as a support group. I hope LO is more settled for you today.
And yes, I have made it through another 24 hours. Am starting FF tonight for the night feed, but have realised am too wimpy to give it up totally.

HQ - DD is 11lb 11oz at 12 weeks and is perfectly on the 50th centile and I am FFing so I think that weight sounds totally fine! You and turtle should be very proud of yourselves, you're doing a fab job

Had tough day yesterday, was feeling all emotional and kept crying when DD did! Today much better though.

Does anyone elses baby hate tummy time?

mine cant make her mind up about it, depends what mood shes in.

has anyone else felt a bit broody [shrieks with horror] i was a couple of weeks ago but thank god its passed im putting it down to her no longer being a tiny new born. my cousins due in 2 weeks though so im going to have a new baby to sniff

mmh- baby hates tummy time here too. Manage about 30 seconds before she's crying.

spugs! fingers in ears LALALALALALALALALA

i got Rudi weighed today and he is continuing along the 99% line, he now weighs 17lb 11oz he is on the same line for his length and head circumference so is obviously just destined to be big. I got him weighed to see how he was doing now he is on formula, he doesnt always take very much, 3 or 4 oz, sometimes 5 or 6, but generally less and he goes 4 or even 5 hrs between feeds during the day and then has one long stretch at night of 7hrs, but he is still putting weight on fine

there were a few new little babies at the clinic, and i thought god he was like that not so long ago, now he is massive, his 6-9mth dungarees are getting too short.

oops got to go ds3 is trying to pick up the baby......

omg, am feeling distinctly unbroody - haven't even got round to contemplating sex again yet let alone another child!!!

Hugs again to all you bf stars, you're right, noone tells you how much of a struggle it can be when you have latching probs etc, so having given up at 2 weeks am so in awe of those of you still doing it! Still makes me cry though at having given it up, yet another thing i felt added to my "failure" as a mum, and i think it'll take me a looooong time to come to terms with everything.

Having a very mad spell at the mo, aside from doing a 100ft abseil at the end of june, have just booked us to go over to Belfast by ferry mid July. Costing a fortune, and because we're taking the dog as well, i now need to sort out a roof rack and box to fit all the gear into which normally goes in the boot/back seat. The pushchair will probably take up most of the space but i can't see us managing a week without it (and my mum can take him out for long walks as it's a good height for her to ease the arthritis).

Thought that Ed was getting into a nice sleep routine, usually 3-4amish feed,sleep then 6-7amish feed, sleep, up about 10 for some playtime, sleep 12-ish for about 3hrs, up for another 3-4hrs then bed 6 or 7ish. Did that for about 5 days, then yesterday the afternoon sleep went kaput after an hour, and today he was up at 6 with no intention of sleeping until 8, then awake again an hour later. Seems to be waking himself, having a cry for half a min or so then going back to sleep, so maybe i'm just getting him up too soon and need to wait for continuous crying? Sigh, so complicated, why can't they just tell you if they're crying cos it hurts somewhere? Got him teething powders, but so far managing to get them everywhere but in his mouth. Oh, and caught him sucking his thumb at last, shame about the big slurpy noises with lots of air being sucked in alongside, that'll do his wind problems sooo much good

argh, just playing with baby (here baby, touch lime green dinosaur...) after another feed, listening to ds1 chunter himself to sleep (i hope) and waiting for tiredness from baby so i can crash out for 40 minutes as well. he's just got a bit reflux-y again, exacerbated (that hurt to spell) by our routines the last couple of days making him lie down too soon after feeds.

days like these, feel like death not warmed up. so cold, vision blurry at edges. house a tip, which makes me as all i can do is feed, clean, nap them and keep them safe between wherever they need to be...roll on tomorrow.

[exits singing tomorrow is another day, off key]