March 2008 births

[MarchNowFebMum]

Welcome March Mums (and late Feb/early April Mums!) from the March 2008 threads.

blah, what a hard thing for pgagain and her family to deal with. reading that makes me feel quiet and odd so i really can't imagine the shock it must have been for her to have this diagnosis. i've used the MN CAT facilty to send her a message offering support and best wishes.

HQ-Sorry, didn't mean that to sound like it did...am tired and not thinking.
MMH..yes, it was 5 mins away from me..horrible! Let me know how you get on with diet, may join you once I give up breastfeeding!

oh i hope preggars is ok xxxxxxxxxx

well i survived a trip to reading with ds4, left the other 3 with a friend and went and stayed overnight with a friend.

it was my first proper trip since switching to bottles, and having never bottle fed before and thinking it would be a nightmare its actually been a breeze, Rudi has taken to the bottles well, tho i didnt give him much choice in the matter and now that he sucks his thumb he is a very good baby, content and happy, sleeping well, sometimes needs to be rocked or pushed in pram a bit during the day but goes down at 8pm then i give him a feed when i go to bed, sometime between 11 and 12, then he goes through till 6am takes a bottle and goes back to sleep till after 8, sometimes after 9 FANTASTIC, just a shame that ds3 gets up at 6

Do keep us up to date on here if anyone hears from Preggers please? I can't keep track of too many threads these days.
DH was ranting about something on tv last night and I nearly bit his head off as the rant is so meaningless when you hear things like that. I think now we all have our LOs it makes you question your own mortality all the time, imagining worst case scenarios even though the probability of anything happening is actually pretty low.

So Preggers, if you're reading and just not feeling like posting, big {{{hugs}}} and love.

I second fitn41...big hugs to preggers...

My night away was lovely and LO did well with my aunt and uncle, took the bottle for three feedings in a row which she has never done. I did some hand expressing (I think I need lessons) but not enough as I forgot my pump thus my boobs were killing all night! Small price to pay for my first martini in a year and real conversation with dh. We made a rule that we could'nt talk about LO, I didn't break the rule as much as I thought I would!

On to Canada in the morning, thank god I am well rested for the flight. Talk to all in a couple weeks!

Yawn...took ages getting off to sleep last night, after dreamfeed around 11.45. Police helicopter was out doing a search nearby and went past about 6 times. Then dropped off to sleep but at 3.30 LO woke for a feed. Have been awake since then
Why are these little darlings so inconsistent, grr! Night before he'd had a dreamfeed at 00.45 then slept through to 7.30 for DH!

blimey, i thought you'd escape all that police helicopter jazz in wales fn41, that's a real shame. we get a fair few over us in london and they always unsettle me.

happy travels marchnowfebmum!

hi guys- just quickly popping on to say thankyou for all the good wishes and hugs- they really helped!

i'm not quite ready to come back on the boards yet- chemo started last friday so am whacked atm, but beware i am lurking so no talking behind my back

weak and see you all soon!

WBPA- big hugs to you,
Went to BF clinic this morning and left in tears. LO has developped a funny latch since his cold and now I can't do it right unless we lie down. They tried for 30 mins and DS and I were both beside ourselves by the end. Counsellor thought my reaction was a bit much and has told HV she's worried about me and wants to refer me to counselling. That made me more upset and now I can't stop crying and dont want to BF anymore.

wbpa, hurray you are around, good may your clinic waits be short, your chemo sessions smooth and your stomach sturdy between them! much virtual love and support to you and yours. imagine me sitting at the screen here willing you good wishes - basically i look a bit constipated and doolally. i hope you enjoy that image, charming as it is

turtle, have a bloody good cry then breathe, breathe and let it go. it is frightening how much they can knock confidence (they being anyone who wobbles our precarious axes). poor wee fellow sounds like he is still bunged up if his latch is odd. will you post on the bf boards for detailed advice, stopping or not? situations like this i treat myself as if i too am ill and retire to bed as much as is practicable until baby bounces back. would that help you? and if you are in bed you can feed lying down! you must be knackered please have a big hug from me (you can have the constipated look too, there you go. and try another bf in RL counsellor if need be - a LLL one?

MB- have made decision(big breath) to give up bf cold turkey tomorrow. Am very sad, but can't take it any more. Pascal benefits from my milk, but would benefit more from happy mummy. Still boggles me that people all over world bf with nobody telling them what to do. LO still has gained a pound in 10 days with his"wrong" latch and it wasn't hurting so couldn't have been too bad. Oh, the guilt.

Turtle, big hugs. BF ain't easy and it's got so many emotions attached to it. Feeding a baby is hard sometimes no matter how you do it. I second all of merryberry's advice.

ooh, good luck! can you go cold turkey? have you got a pump to help relieve yourself? how long will it take do you think? i really wish you the best of it, you've given him such a good start in trying times haven't you.

re: rest of world, i think it willb e because you get to watch everywoman and her sster doing it all your life before you do it, so its simpler than learning from books and pics and t'internet or from unconvincing 'helpers' like you encountered...

WBPA - best love to you all. Hope you're getting lots of help and support.

turtle - you sound so stressed, rotten people making you feel worse, you do whatever works for you and fear not he will be fine. sending hugs.

and to all....lots of love

Have pump, but will be trying not to use it too much. Have been told to do just enough to make it bearable and no more. Have bullied DH into doing all feeds for a few days because he wont take a bottle from me. Am still crying. Advantage to giving up (which I have now decided to do NOW and have just done last litle goodbye feed) is that I am about to have a hot bath and a huge drink to try and feel a bit less stressed.

Turtle, it makes me sad thinking of you giving your LO a "last" feed, knowing how hard it must be for you. It is such an emotional thing, BFing. I wish more "counsellors" would treat it that way, instead of dismissing mothers when they are at their most vulnerable. I hope that it is not their reaction that has lead you to your decision to stop right now. Know you have our support, regardless! Big hugs.

turtle - i completely understand where you're coming from (have my own thread going at the moment on difficulties with evenings and wondering about increasing ff) so lots of hugs and support coming from me.

before you go cold turkey, i just wondered if you had thought about trying mixed feeding. the gist of my thread is that i love my morning feed with DS but find the rest of the day increasingly difficult ending with horrid evening feeds and i want to try and preserve the morning feed as long as possible. i just wondered if you try to drop feeds gradually (starting with the ones you hate most) rather than cold turkey you may find a happy medium for you and pascal where you do some bf and some ff. plus dropping feeds more gradually may make it less uncomfortable for you. i'm sure you've thought about this option of course though

good luck! i find bf one of the toughest things i've ever had to do - not physically but mentally. i think the minute it doesn't go right (weight gain and supply issues for me) that it is very very tough on you emotionally. you feel torn between your baby's needs and your own sanity.

hope it all goes well. whatever happens just remember that every breastfeed you did has done wonders for pascal, but that every ff you do for him in future will do wonders for him as well!

JFly - you are so right on the emotional side. All the antenatal stuff is about the mechanics - latch, positioning, engorgement etc. - and the only mention of emotional stuff is about how it is a wonderful bonding experience. I wish people were honest about how you can hate it while loving it at the same time, how it is emotionally exhausting feeling solely responsible for your child's development and growth, how a knock to your confidence early on, or having a baby who doesn't feed like an 'average' baby can make you feel a complete failure even if you are actually succeeding. Because you are only told about it being a lovely thing, you feel doubly worse when you think bad thoughts about it.

God, this motherhood lark is so tough (while totally wonderful at the same time, thank god!)

Hugs to everyone today

HQ - so true. Even if you are "doing fine" (as all the professionals have told me) with the mechanics or process, it doesn't mean that you are OK emotionally/mentally. If you are having a hard time with BFing for whatever reason, it can be so disheartening. And if it hurts, well, don't get me started.

What is it about these people? I know it's the most "natural" thing in the world, but that doesn't mean it's not a skill that is learned. I don't find much about BFing to be intuitive yet HVs and such give you a couple pointers and off you go. I'm pretty insistent when I want to be, and still, when I've asked for help/answers it's not very forthcoming.

Anyhoo, hope everybody is OK this rainy afternoon....

gawd the grey days...have posted a question on facebook about summer forecast...answer if you can...tell me it willb e tropical one day at least please...

Turtle

I agree with holidaysQueen and consider mixed feeding. I've been mixed feeding from the 1st week and find its great. I do one BF in the morning - in bed which is a great relaxed way to start the day and then one bf at his bed time which also enables us to relax at the end of the day. The rest of the time is bottle which makes the day a lot less stressed. I would really recommend it as you get the best of both types of feeding.

Good luck

He wont take a bottle from me though. Can only really see a few days of someone else feeding him and no smell of milk being the key...I don't know. I am just so tired, so down, and so totally fed up. Don't know what to do.

(((turtle))) big hugs and lots of love, you sounds like you are where i was at two weeks ago, if you do a thread search for my name you will find a thread i did about how i was desperate, and i did in the end quit bfeeding, cold turkey, my breasts hurt like hell for a few days but it was ok.

and rudi took to the bottle like a star, he didnt have much choice tbh as i just refused to offer him the breast, i had days and days of tears and stress but i just couldnt do it any longer (which given that i bfed all my other 3 for between eighteen months and three years each) this time i just made it to 9 wks and couldnt cope anymore.

the others didnt ever have a bottle of formula so it was a whole big learning curve, but i have to say it has been the BEST thing, R is so much more settled now, sleeping better, and a happy contented baby and i can function, i am much more relaxed, not dreading every feed etc, i enjoy giving him the bottle, i hated bfeeding him awful but true.

i think my email is on profile? if you want a chat, email me and i can call you or you can call me xxxxxx much love i know how hard it is xxxxxxxxxx

also if you go to badmotherclub, there is a thread i did, called nightmare bfeeding shall i quit? anyway i am called 4madboys onthere, you can read the threads but not post unless you pay to be a member, but i will bump the thread if you like and you can read it, i got lots of support and advice

much love again xxxxxxxxx

(((preggars))) xxxxxxxxx much love and strength to you xxxxxxxxx

Turtle - big hugs to you, your post made me cry as I'm having very similar emotions over breastfeeding and I totally understand every emotion you're going through. Bf'ing has been the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm so stubborn that I am trying to keep going, and taking one feed at a time. Similar to 3madboys, I really don't enjoy breastfeeding and I'm pretty sure my LO hates it too as he has never been settled from the start, and despite trying everything imagineable he's still unsettled which I'm sure is directly related to feeding. Every day I've made the decision that tomorrow I'm going to try formula and then the stubborn bit of me has appeared and I've said 'just one more feed'. Every now and then LO has a really lovely feed with no screaming and I think just one more day...

Whatever you decide, if it makes you happy then it makes your baby happy I just wish I could take my own advice

Preggersagain - big hugs to you, hope you are getting the love and support you need.

Hello to everyone else! I've not been posting regularly but have been reading. LO seems to have been a little calmer over the last few days (well only a couple of screaming matches a day) as we approach the 11 week mark, and I think there is light at the end of the tunnel... I can't wait until I get to the stage where I'm not scared of his screaming and can just enjoy him.

Oh lord help me when he starts actually asking for things. So much for my will. I now have 8 little "love bites" where LO was frantically trying to get milk out of my neck and shrieking and panicking for ages. Will BF for one more day and FF this evening and see if I can just FF at night? Had forgotten that HV is scheduled to come round at 10 to do my PND survey. What a terrible f*ing time to do it. Here's hoping they don't cart me away.