March 2008 births

[MarchNowFebMum]

Welcome March Mums (and late Feb/early April Mums!) from the March 2008 threads.

fig leaves . com has sale on this weekend!

love english phrases...

ate to bring people down on this happy thread, but feedmenow has had the worst possible news.
Please go and support...
here

was looking for this thread to post that turtle

Hi. I'm shattered. DS1 has chicken pox (urgh) and DS2 was awake from 1-1.30am and 3-6am last night. I'm sure it was because he slept too much during the day yesterday. I hope he won't get the pox too as he's only in his 4th week...

Oh god, feedmenow's news

I have taken the initiative to reflect this on our stats thread.

Please do come and light a virtual candle for Eris, if you think it would help in anyway. Simply click an unlit candle and follow the simple instructions.

If you feel anything I have done is unhelpful or incorrect, please please mail me off list at franky @ metataxis dot com to discuss.

Merryberry - I think what you're done is lovely.

God, poor Feedmenow.

Gotta give Allie an extra big hug. Am crying again.....

Beautiful thought MB.

I feel so very grateful at this sad sad time.

xx

Good news from JFly:

Griffin Arlo Edward arrived via emcs at 2.23am. 7lbs 11oz. In nicu as precaution for breathing but should be back with mum and dad later today. Mum a bit sore and tired but ok. Both should be home by Sunday.

Hurray!

Posting so it's on my "Threads I'm On" - Pics of Tilly up on my profile. Loving being a Mummy and can't wait to get her home! We have had all the big test results back and she seems to be fine

She is beautiful MMH, like her mum! She has a great wide curving mouth I think...look forward to those first smiles

Congratulations!

i am currently brewing some filthy smelling garlic and herb tea for me piles/perineum. i've tried waiting them out but the itch from the healing stitch outside of me fanjo is driving me demented now.

I have to sit in this gunk for 10 minutes. Wish me luck. Makes me wish for a more accessible set of minor birth injuries...

it looked like beef tea, smelt like lamb gravy and seems, magically, to be doing the trick. but oh the indignity of all this...

MerryBerry hope the gunk went well! Bleaurgh, the indignaties eh?

James arrived on Sunday 16th. We have been home since Monday and gradually getting to grips with being a family of 4. So relieved its all over and feeling desperately sad for Feedmenow

Anyone else been really weepy? I am feeling ok at the moment but have been very teary. (I had bad blues/anxiety after DD's birth so I know its normal just want to get through it...)

Well hello! Can't believe I've made it over here. We've called our little girl Hero Isabelle.
I started having contractions on Saturday night, but wasn't in established labour until early Sunday morning. We went to the centre around 4am and I got in the pool and was coping really well with the contractions. However, progress was pretty slow and it wasn't until about lunchtime that I was fully dialated and bearing down. At about 2pm my waters burst and there was meconium in them, so we had to get out of the pool and push. (This was agony- no pain relief) As the head was crowning, 2 things happened: contratcions slowed, and I had a big bleed. So the midwife gave me an episiotomy and the baby arrived really quickly after. Because I was at the birth centre and still bleeding, they called an ambulance and after delivering the placenta and putting lines in, we were taken to hospital to make sure the bleeding had stopped and to be stiched up. We've been home since Tuesday night and I feel marginally better, although I still look like a white sheet and can't walk too far without feeling dizzy.
However, I have had a good debrief with the mw who delivered Hero about everything that happened, and although it is still overwhelming to think about, DH is so supportive and I can't wait to perk up.
Well, they;re just back from a walk, so I'd better go. Hope to catch up soon. E

Big baby, here's our big birth story finally!

mb, have you also tried tea tree oil in your bath - that healed me up right quick!

yay e14, post some pics!

had terrible weepy on day 3 and day 5 = day 3 was happy isn't that kitten cute weepy and 5 was life is shit and my dp is a monster weepy (unfounded on both counts!)

also have massive norkage today thanks to Sanam feeding lighter now. she's still going through some sort of weirdsleeping/feeding transition and i am still pulling my hair out!

Keeping our candles lit for Eris

nice to finally be here on this thread, feedmenow's news puts all into perspective.

Having bad emotional moments, how long does it take to get rid of the babyblues stage? Feeling loads of guilt right now over the birth as it was different in every possible way to the one i wanted, and since then Edwyn's having feeding issues with latching on, so getting extra guilt over that. Hospital m/ws giving lots of support re b/f, but was told off on 2nd night for letting the baby cry and keeping others awake, wtf?!! Told i had to express since he wouldn't take directly from source. Got to day 4 and the paeds wanted me to stay in another day to get feeding properly as they were convinced he was dehydrated causing slight jaundice. Tests came back well above the norm for lightbox therapy, but little bugger will only feed if i'm wearing nipple shields.
Spent all morning at local b/f counsellors and he latched on for her straight away, but as soon as we got home, he won't do it any more
Sorry, feeling like a whinge - DH being very supportive, but i'm feeling very overwhelmed with everything just now.

Fn41 - I don't have anything to say from personal experience as I am still on the other side (and will no doubt be on here in a week or two saying exactly the same things as you!), but I just wanted to send you a big hug and then tell you a few things I've picked up along the way (which I'm sure you know but sometimes it helps just having someone say it to you).

From what I've heard, I think baby blues come around the time your milk comes in and can last for a few days but you should expect to be clear of it around the time Edwyn is a week or so old so hopefully in the next day or so you will start to feel more yourself. It is probably not helped by the way your birth went - see if you can talk through it with a mw sooner rather than later as I think that helps a lot of people to offload those feelings rather than bottling them up.

I would try and get the bf counsellor to come out to you if they can, or go to them again - they are there to help you for the long haul rather than just one time so don't feel bad about using them. A girl in my antenatal class said that it took at least a week for her to feel she and the baby were even starting to get the hang of it, and once her milk came in it got a lot easier.

Very on your behalf at mws for telling you to shut the baby up!!! If they were worried about the noise then they should have been helping you to calm him, not making you feel guilty and therefore probably less able to calm him yourself. Grrr...

Get your DH to take most of the strain on the other things like nappies, house, bathing etc. (sounds like he's being great but it won't hurt to give him a bit more responsibility over the next few days!), and look after yourself - try to take a bit of time out for a bath, or a walk (you have a dog right?), or a cup of tea and bar of choccie.

Take care xx

Fitn41 I am in the same boat re the blues. I had terrible anxiety attacks after my first birth probably as a result of stress before the birth, the birth itself and wild hormones. Now I can feel that coming back and am so upset not to be a joyful Mum. I got alot of support from my midwife, dr and health visitor last time. Can you contact them?

hey fn41, be kind to yourself. that bf counsellor who worked for you - can she come to your house for another session? going out to do anything just about kills me at present!

'glad' to hear 'sensitive' post natal support is alive and well. Not.

now, apart from the fact that guilt is supposed to be the bone marrow of motherhood and we are supposed to live with it all our mothering lives in one form or another, you need to not let it pull you down eventually. with ds1, i suffered this horrendously, and still feel guilty about his rubbish birth experience. what i've done, eventually, is all that HQ suggested, plus isolating the main cause of the guilt (why the feck did I ever agree to incorrect induction in the first place) and refusing to be tripped by it anymore. i did a bloody marvellous job given that, i did my absolute best for himm before during and after the birth, just like you are doing. You can do no more, you are doing brilliantly. when you feel the guilt rising up, try going 'oh yeah, so i didn't do XYZ, but I did and do ABC' and mentally push the bad stuff over a cliff or into a pit or parcel it in a box and set fire to it. Sod it! Sod the guilt! I really hope some of this may help.

In terms of the actual hormones, they've been different with my 2 births. With ds1 and his tough birth, they didn't kick in until about day 6 and lasted 3 days in a welter of heaving crying existential angst that noone could penetrate - they started when my milk started to finally come in (ds1 was in NICU/SCBU) for this time. With ds2 they came in at day 2, again about 12 hours before my milk kicked in, lasted about 4 hours and had me standing there crying while saying 'i'm not really upset, i'm just hormonal' it was that clear. SO From my epxerience, I would say that our mental states about the birth and motherhood have a huge influence on how we experience the newborn baby blues. Which means in turn you are doing the right thing talking about them and getting them out. Keep on talking to dh, us, MWs, HVs. I wrote and talked compulsively for weeks about ds1s birth to help me come to terms with it, it really, really helped.

Major big hugs and love to you and Edwyn both. xxxxxxxxxx

Fitn41 - sorry to hear that you're feeling blue. Merryberry has some very wise words, as usual. I remember feeling lots of guilt when DD1 was born, to the point that I was convinced that I was the world's worst mum and DD1 would be better off with someone else. Of course, none of it was justified. I'm sure it won't really help, but please believe that like the sleepless night, this too shall pass and soon you'll know that you're the best mum in the world. You did the very best you could during the birth, and you're doing the very best you can now. And your best is more than good enough! Keep telling yourself that, because it's true.

As for me, I'm eating brie! Yum yum, oh happy days! Can't drink yet, but at least we can eat banned foods again!

Hello all, what a mouldy bank holiday weekend! (Quite nice having dh inside with me rather than gardening though).
Fitn41 - don't know if this will help but I'm now 3 weeks + in and can't believe how different I feel. No longer being sore helps! I think a major (in fact nearly all) of my tearful first week was shear exhaustion. Don't do anything except rest, eat (3000 cals a day!)and feed your LO. Could your dh look after baby while you have a bath? I have found that a proper lying down rest in the afternoon really helps, even if I don't actually sleep. Also bf is really hard! I don't think people should pretend otherwise! I pestered the bf support people like anything and it really did help in the end.
derah sharing your cheese joy, st agur mmmm...
We've got a big blizzard going on here - can you get sledge adaptors for prams, I think a set of runners would be the finishing touch for my travel system!

piggyp that certainly is reassuring. I have felt blue most of the day and desperately waiting for my Mum to come over. Every day is dragging past. He is 6 days old today. I keep a detailed daily diary and I note that last time I felt better when DD was 16 days old. Guess I just have to keep trucking...

I will be having a bath tonight!

thanks for the support everyone, it helps to know it's not just me but isn't nature a bastard sometimes for making us feel so inadequate?

Only had a couple of cries today, the hard part is that i have to keep waking the baby up every 3-4 hours during the day as he can sleep for hours otherwise, and have been advised not to let him go longer than 4hours between feeds or he'll just get sleepier and less responsive. Not that that makes much difference at night when he's giving me half an hour between feeds!
Felt better for lying in bed until lunchtime today with ed asleep beside me. He won't settle in a cot yet, likes contact with us instead.

DH has now been advised not to tell visitors to call again any time, esp when they turn up at the same time as the inlaws and we have 6 strange adults and 2 kids trying to find seats and fighting over holding the baby. I was thinking murderous thoughts here, as my usual escape clause is to say i've got to go feed Ed, but he was quite obviously content being passed from pillar to post!

He's now one week and 1/2 hour old...must be time for him to start screaming the house down!