Tasha - I was 100% sure, and never had any doubts at all. We had an early scan because i didn't know I was pg, and had some cramping, so they scanned incase it was an ectopic. DH and I weren't married at the time, and we both felt v stronlgy that whilst we wanted children, now was not the time, and we were still getting to know each other. We weren't even sure we'd stay together. I'm afraid for me it was a completely uneotional thing. I didn't think of it as a baby. Now, some people do, and that makes it harder.
no-one can know how they are going to feel. I jsut know the worst thing for me and DH was the MArie Stopes clinic in east London we went to. I wouldn't have it done under local, i'm really funny about being fiddled with, so I had to find somewhere that did it under general. The place was awflu, it was like a meat market, and the Doctors came and spoke to you in front of all the other patients, "are you sure you want to do this ? Oh good, ok then, come and pay your money". The nurses weren't v nice either, one girl had travelled over from Ireland, and was v uncomfy after, the nurses basically told her to gert on with it.
I left as soon as I was allowed.
I do think about it, but not about the baby that would have been - more how horrible the place was, and how I wish I could have been brave enough to have it done locally.
You DP isn't being helpful, telling you he would leave you. No-one can be sure but you, they do offer councelling, and I would take it, even if you still aren't sure. A counsellor can help you explore your feelings without "telling" you what to do.