August 2021 Babies - From Santa to Solids, Hohoho!

[PurplePansy05]

Here we go again!

I'd do another delightful intro, alas I've lost count which thread this is now and we all know our LO's names anyway 😁

So instead I will just say, Merry First Christmas together to you and your LOs! 🎄❤🎁

May the sleep regression pass as soon as they see Santa later this week...

...May they love weaning and may our kitchens survive...

...May 2022 be full of blessings for them and for us ❤❤❤

Oldcomers and newcomers welcome, as always! 🥰

We have an IKEA changing table/ drawers for dd I like it. The top comes out further atm as a changing table then a pull out shelf under and then 2 drawers. When she doesn't need the changing table it can be changed to just another shelf.

@Smurf123 that's exactly how Ivy was with weaning at first but the HV said that's how BLW should be (we settled more on that because she didn't like purees). Apparently for the first few months they don't need the calories from food so its more about exploring new tastes and textures + developing the skills on chewing and swallowing. It sounds to me like you're doing well if the food is being played with / tasted ^^

@WolfMother326 we just use a mat and change on floor / bed / whatever I'd get too worried about an impatient baby rolling off a change table haha

I'm at the end of my tether this week. Last few days he's been so difficult, he's just unsettled and whiney all.the.time 😔 I'm really struggling. Unless he is eating/feeding/asleep or, occasionally playing, he's a nightmare. Anything and everything sets him off into constant crying/whining. I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I resorted to giving him a dummy and leaving him in his cot and going to a different room because otherwise I feel like my brain will explode any minute. I'm feeling guilty because he shouldn't have a dummy when awake and I know he should be entertained/cuddled and I should be present for him but I'm too exhausted. I seriously don't think I can cope with this. I'm guessing no one else's baby does this? There's something wrong with him, right? xx

Sounds like he's teething or coming down with something. So yes in a sense something is "wrong" but only something very ordinary and temporary. Don't worry :) it's so draining when they have periods like that.

Is he chewing or dribbling a lot? Are his poos regular? Alex has had a couple of days struggling to poo and when it finally arrived last night it was firmer than expected so I've decided to make sure he has some water with every solid meal just in case.

I just came to share this article, I saw it on FB and thought it was really interesting, it's about all the latest research on baby sleep.

www.bbc.com/future/article/20220131-the-science-of-safe-and-healthy-baby-sleep

Also it's definitely fine to just shut the door and leave them to it if you need a break.

@PurplePansy05 DS isn't quite at level yet, but yes he has been far more whiney lately.

@Jessicapebbles I was just at a baby sensory group and had lunch with a couple of the others - there was a lady who's baby was wearing rompers similarish to yours. She said where they were from but said the ankles are really tight. I showed her your page and she said 'Oh yeah pebbles and pickle. I keep meaning to look at those' We are right up in NE Scotland so good going!!!!

@PurplePansy05 It's okto get frustrated and ok to take breaks! I hope things get better.

Thanks everyone for nappy changing station advice. Going to try it on the floor. I ordered some foam play tiles to save my knees and make it softer under the mat too.

@PurplePansy05 I was out of ideas yesterday so I took him outside and just carried him around the garden for a bit as I wa getting pretty sick of it and didn't know what else to thankfully he settled down. Sent many 'why can't he stfu' messages to DH and lots of huffing and puffing on my part. Not suggesting that'll help but just so you know youre not alone!

Also just wanted to say thank you ladies for letting me rant and moan when I've been feeling a bit off. Very happy to report I am feeling a million times better now, and I just feel happier in general. That felt so far off a few weeks ago so thank you all for listening. Still awaiting CBT but I almost don't really feel like anymore. I'm not sure if it's just time, or that I've been having evenings to focus on something for me lately building up two business, or maybe even just that I've been remembering to take my high strength vitamin d lately 🤷‍♀️ I've no idea what it is, but I am so so grateful so feel like a normal human being again, even though DS is a bit challenging sometimes!

Also, HE ROLLED TODAY! He's exactly 6 months today (happy 6 months to your DS @sarah13xx !) so think he's been waiting for his half birthday 😂 he did at the sensory class and I almost lost my shit 😂

Thanks all.

That's a really interesting article, Bertie. I wish they did more research on baby sleep. For example, Leo has always slept well at night, so what does this mean (if anything)? Was his SIDS risk lower than average to begin with? Was he 'mature'? Or does this mean the opposite and I should've been watching him like a hawk which I did sometimes? I would love to know. Lots of interesting points there. I think I will re-read some of it, definitely thought-provoking.

I had the same thoughts, teething, maybe, but his mouth looks the same. No obvious signs. Thought he was constipated but no, two poos today. This afternoon he might have been hungry and overtired as I took him out to a sensory group and then for a walk and lunch with my friend so we pushed his awake time and feeding time a bit, but it's not just this afternoon. Been like this for 3 days at least, maybe even some days last week too.

@Daffodil21 Absolutely no judgement here, it's hard going sometimes. I was literally sobbing with my cold cup of tea in the kitchen an hour ago saying to myself why can't he stfu for 5 minutes and why can't someone take him away for a few hours, I wish DH did and then he wouldn't say Leo is an 'easy baby', I hate this phrase so much! He's finally napping and I feel like crying again I'm just so exhausted. I really sometimes feel like running away for a day when things are difficult. That's probably not a popular or maternal thing to say?! Glad you're feeling better. I am waiting for CBT too, no idea how long it's going to be. I must admit, I'm looking forward to being back in work as well, SAHM is not my thing at all and I don't think being at home every day is helping my MH, it gives me cabin fever. Thank god for some new groups we do now, swimming and friends, the more we get out, the better! But then some days this doesn't help either, like today 😩 xx

@PurplePansy05 days like that are just the worst, I've lost count of the number of times I've wanted to tell Rowan to just give up (or other less polite things!) sometimes - I think it's one of the bits of parenting to be endured rather than enjoyed. Would sticking him in front of something on the TV settle him a bit? Just to give you time to enjoy a cup of tea and breathe.

DH took Rowan to a baby group for the first time today and enjoyed it a lot bless him. I think I've been a bit possessive of going myself as I usually go with friends and it's my social time too but it was such a treat having the house to myself - I lounged in pyjamas and watched Great British Menu

I need to get DH to take him out more on his own too, trouble is evenings are dark and he has a great excuse of working in a different location to his usual as well, so he comes back home later. And on weekends we're theoretically doing family stuff and get out together, but it's still me packing the bags, prepping, sometimes carrying DS in the carrier etc. I wouldn't call that rest. I just need my own time, desperately 😩

@PurplePansy05 we just had the biggest public meltdown. I need to buy a dress for DH's nan's funeral next week. This is the only day I really have to find something without eating into work time which I desperately need over the weekend. Obviously have to buy something new as none of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit. Had to abandon trying on (thankfully found something) then wondered if maybe his nappy was full as it's been a while (wasn't taking anymore milk). Cue fucking massive meltdown. He's still on off moaning now I'm walking around another shop (yes I'm walking down the shopping aisle on MN 😂) but hoping he'll go back to sleep soon as think that's the problem 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

It's good to try and communicate to DH that you need some downtime to yourself at weekends etc. And with the family stuff I know it's still the mental load but can you delegate a bit and say "While I do the nappy can you check the bag is packed?" - he might get into the habit of it? Or just hand him the carrier one day and say "Your turn, my back's really aching" or whatever. You should have time for some family activities and you time. I agree weekday evenings are a no go especially at the moment.

What about you getting out on an evening? Do you have anyone to go for a girl's night /dinner out or the cinema or something? With Leo taking a bottle that ought to be doable in theory and it always makes me feel so much better. I really miss it with all the covid restrictions! We used to do it as an NCT group, all the mums would go out for a meal or all the dads would go out to the pub (stereotypes abound here, but it worked for us at the time).

Teething I always think can rumble along for ages before the teeth actually appear, or perhaps he is just a bit overtired if anything is disturbing him at night. Or could just be a low level virus with not much symptom wise except feeling a bit crappy. Or maybe he's frustrated that he's not quite able to do something developmentally. I find it a bit hard to put Alex down and do something else at the moment, because he can't sit up reliably enough to leave him and he gets cross stranded on his back. He will roll to his front to play but if he pushes the toys out of reach that is no good, so it never lasts long.

I really sometimes feel like running away for a day when things are difficult. That's probably not a popular or maternal thing to say?!

OMG totally the opposite! I don't know a mum who has never felt like this! All vvv normal.

@PurplePansy05 it is so hard when there’s days like that! As @BertieBotts says, he’s safe when he’s in his cot and if you know he’s ok (not hungry or in pain or in need of nappy change), you can leave him to it for a bit if you need a break. That sounds really really tough.

When he’s being like that, my go to is to take him out in the carrier: it tends to calm him down, but I’m also not above sticking in his dummy to stop him crying too. Ditto in the pram, if he’s whiny and unhappy and I know he’s fine, then dummy in and quick march around the block. It helps or is at least less claustrophobic than crying baby in house.

We have had some days like this recently where he just cries and cries. It is teething related I think - we now have one tooth! - and he’s also constipated and finding it hard to pass is solid poos. Did a good impression of having his arms cut off earlier when DH was trying to get him to do a poo - sounded like a stuck pig. But I think sometimes they also just have unhappy whiny days. I’m sorry you’re having some at the moment, Pansy - sending you love and support.

On CBT / therapy: I am happy to recommend my therapist to anyone considering some professional help. I used her before and after I gave birth and also a few years ago when I was having a very, very low period. She is a Delhi-based clinical psychologist but now has clients all over the world as she does consultations via Zoom. She’s well priced - £25 for an hour, much cheaper than U.K. therapists - and I have found her really very helpful. Her English is perfect. Her name is Ruchika Kanwal - www.linkedin.com/in/ruchika-kanwal-she-her-00541044 or Kanwal.Ruchika[at]gmail.com

Oh also, success: WE HAD SEX! And it worked!!!

Turns out I had some medical problems with my transvaginal muscles and vaginal mucal layer (nice) which meant it was very painful to try. I’ve worked with a physiotherapist who has confirmed that it actually would have been nigh on impossible for me to give birth vaginally. After a few months of working on it, I can now have sex again without pain.

I can’t tell anyone in real life about this really, so am celebrating here! 😁🎉🍆

@RandomCatGenerator 😂 congratulations, enjoy! 💃🏼

@PurplePansy05 I came on here to vent that I’m having a similar day 🤦🏼‍♀️ Think it is just how constant it is sometimes! Definitely have a breather and go back later (and hope nothing bad has happened in the meantime) 🤣

This has just been one of those weeks, totally get the head nearly exploding thing!

Still in this flat waiting on the house being ready. I’ve posted out 18 orders over the last 2 days, they take roughly an hour each to do and I’ve had 5 hours sleep a night from staying up late/getting up early to do them. That was already setting off a sense of panic in me knowing I was on a timescale for that. We had his swimming today which is half an hour away so all in it takes a good two hours out the day and I was trying to check and double check we had everything packed for it, while trying to get my last order finished up til 15 minutes before I had to leave for it. Luckily my mum watched him while I did them this morning but because I was so busy with all that I hadn’t let the dogs out to the toilet. Obviously we have no garden to just quickly open the door to just now so it’s a full scale walk every time 🤦🏼‍♀️ So had to do that before swimming. He then projectile vomited ALL over our bed in the 2 seconds I lay him there to get my own swimming stuff sorted. I had to just abandon the milk-covered bedding until I came back, hadn’t factored that in to my timescales 🙈He cried most of the way through swimming, didn’t want to go under water, didn’t want to go with the instructor, didn’t want to ‘jump’ in from the side.. he’s never usually like that but it was just a complete waste of time going. Came back, lay him on the bed and almost the exact same thing happened again, sick EVERYWHERE. Then went to take the dogs out with the pram, the bin badly needed emptied so I did that quickly while he screamed waiting on me, the dogs whining the entire time to go. Phoned DH just in sheer desperation of ‘where are you? I need help’ because he goes to the new house to work on it every night when I really could just be doing with him home, all the while my head was slowly expanding to the point of ready to explode 😣 Went a walk with the pram and dogs for hail stones to start 2 seconds in, just came back in the door and put him down for a sleep, hoping for 2 seconds of peace 😑 I want to run away but running away would actually be too much effort at this point 🙈🤣

@PurplePansy05 are you up to creating a new thread? Almost full now! If not I nominate @BertieBotts because both of your intros are always so lovely!

Oh and happy 6 months @Daffodil21 and the rest of the 9th crew. Totally forgot til now🙈

@BertieBotts Will you do the honours now? I've been hogging the thread-creator space for ages now

I will reply properly on the new thread as we're getting close to filling this one up xx

Oh yes, sure, if you like :)

Now watch me get confused when my posts are the wrong colour :o

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/4477347-August-2021-Theyve-been-here-for-half-a-year