tLES - I'm so sorry you're feeling linke this about ds's behaviour. If it's any help, in secondary schools in South Wales, we use a behaviour modification / management technique called "Assertive Discipline" - it works very well with most children, but you have to be patient and remain calm (not always easy, I know). A lot of bad behaviour is attention-seeking - it works the same for big children as it does for toddlers. What you need to do is make the punishment fit the "crime" ... here's a sample dialogue:
tLES: Take your plate out.
ds: Why should I? blah blah blah.
tLES: Have you finished? Take you plate out.
DS: blah blah, unfair, blah blah ...
tLES: You have a choice - either take your plate out or (choice of punishment) you won't be allowed to play on your playstation for an hour.
DS: I'd like to see you try (or variation on a theme).
tLES: This is your lastwarning - take your plate out.
DS: No ... blah blah etc.
tLES: I see you've made your choice. tLES takes away controller thing for playstation or whatever for an hour.
If at that point, ds raises his fist to you, you say "That sort of behaviour is unacceptable. If you were in the outside and did that to a person, it would be counted as threatening behaviour, and you could be arrested. If it happens again, I will (threat, which you must carry out if he does it again - IN THIS SITUATION!)
If he then takes out his plate, no matter how stroppily, say "Thank you for taking out your plate" - no addenda ... (it's really difficult to bite your tongue - they really know how to niggle at you!)
Think of raising a child as psychological warfare, and rise above it the aggravation.
J20 - good luck tomorrow!
Apricott - so sorry you're feeling down ... I'll email you so we can organise a meet-up for us!
Alice - glad you went to massage: it didn't arise at massage for us, but there's always a baby with a sniffle / cough / cold at yoga - it's part and parcel of having a baby and doing things with them!
Choc - if babe is happy, eating, having plenty of wet and dirty nappies, then don't worry so much about how much they weigh ... you don't have to hav your baby weighed every week!
Stefka - with the falling asleep on the boob thing, don't stress about it too much - if they fall asleep on the boob, as long as you're matter-of-fact about putting them down in their cot / crib / wherever, then there's not a problem ... the problems come when you cuddle them until they're soundly asleep all the time!
Can't remember what anybody else said - so a general wave to everybody!
We've had some lovely news: my sister and her boyfriend have got engaged - am really happy for her - they both deserve some happiness, as they've both been on the receiving end of some sh!t in relationships before!
We went to the hospital today - ds had some allergy tests done - he's always (since birth!) been snotty / a mouth breather / a snorer, and it's affected his hearing and consequently his speech - we finally got a referral and they decided to do allergy test once he was 5. Well, he had them today, and he good news is that he's not allergic to anything - he's just a snotty child, and should (eventually!) grow out of it ... big sigh of relief, as I'm very allergic, am asthmatic, and have excema too (but can never spell it!)
Oh, and it's a year tomorrow that I found out I was pg - seems an age ago!
Right, am off to carry on making this sweater for Mairwen!
Speak soon, E x