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Oct 07 - this little piggy stayed at home...

991 replies

Dalrymps · 13/12/2007 21:16

Hey guys sorry for the sh*t title, if there's already been a new thread set up please direct me there???

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Stefka · 15/01/2008 23:23

He's finally gone to sleep. I don't understand why it takes so long. I really dread the evenings now. I am going to bed!

TheLadyEvenStar · 16/01/2008 00:10

Missbumpy take her to another gp asap and then sue the bastar*

Dalrymps · 16/01/2008 00:52

Just off to bed, finally, just wanted to second what LES said, you shouldn't think teice about complaining, whether the gp did it on purpose or not it shouldn't have happened and certainly shouldn't happen again so the GP needs to have this brought to his attention, sounds like a totally insensitive bastard anyway so don't worry about him, just think of yourself and your lo. Night all x

OP posts:
alicet · 16/01/2008 07:42

Missbumpy he couldn't have torn her vagina just by pulling her legs apart unless he caught his nail on it (or something similar)as he did this. The simple act of pulling her legs could not have done this. It is normal to remove their nappy to check their hips as you can't check properly with it on. Fine to do as inzi's did and just loosen it but it's not inappropriate for him to have removed it. He shouldn't have been actually looking at her vagina in as much detail as you describe in a normal baby 6 week check though - was there any other reason he might have needed to do this? Not trying to defend him with my comments - just trying to shed some light on why he might have done some of the things he did. Your story does make me deeply uncomfortable though - obviously he did do something inappropriate for this to happen. And I second everyone else that you should complain - not least because even if this had not happened his handling of your dd sounds grossly inappropriate.

Only thing that would stop me.... Are you sure that the nurse in there with you will have seen that he caused this bleeding? If he is as unpleasant as you say I would be worried that he might try and say that he looked at her vagina because he saw the bleeding there and didn't cause it. If he takes this line then there could be possible serious implications for you. I am probably being a drama queen and a little paranoid here (and I'm certainly NOT saying you have caused this yourself) but I would be a bit worried about this if I was you.

Hope this helps...

alicet · 16/01/2008 07:47

Choc hope last night was better - sounds like the massage helped get her to sleep at least!

Polar good luck arranging Zoe's christening!

As for us, Adam's sleeping is getting better and better since we moved him into his own room. We still wake him at 11 for a feed. Then on Monday night he didn't wake till 5.20 and last night it was 6.15!!! He is back to sleep now as is Sam but I would have felt worse if I had slept so got up. Having said this I had a shite night's sleep - only slept fitfully from 2am! How annoying is that? Went to bed at 9.30 so could have had loads and I couldn't sleep! Oh well - mustn't grumble or Choc will probably lynch me!

Think I can hear Sam so off to get him up. Chat later....

alicet · 16/01/2008 07:50

Oh and wanted to add that I really feel for you Floria. Doesn't matter that your reasons for not trying for another are very sensible and well thought through does it? Can understand that despite this you are devastated at the thought of not having another. I would have been too. Even despite the years of heartbreak Alex is so clearly worth it all and more. Big hugs.

MrsFish · 16/01/2008 08:50

Morning all.

I went to bed at 9.30 too, slept soundly till 2am when Sam woke me up crying. Then Ben was a wake at 4.45, he had pooed and it had gone everywhere so had to strip him off, ended up giving a bottle at 5.20 too, and he then slept again till 8am. Sam was up at 7am. So still a fairly unsettled night but at least my neck was loads better last night. I saw the chiropractor again yesterday and he said I had stiffened up lower down since last week, so he realigned another three verterbrae lower down looks like I am in for a bumpy ride with my back and neck over the coming years, mind you its lugging these boys around that does it

Yesterday was crap, not only the awful weather but it was the third anniversary of my fathers death so on a bit of a downer.

Ben is now reaching for and grabbing things and dh said he went madly excited with a colourful doggy dh gave him when I was on the cross trainer He is now lying on the playmat reaching for the hanging down bits He also loves being bounced on the bed, if I lie him down and put my hand either side and push down he really chuckles its fantastic

J2O · 16/01/2008 09:20

Morning everyone, god these mornings are killing me atm,although lo is so good, she has her last bottle between 8 + 9 pm then gets another one about 8am, she's sleeping well too, i have to get up a couple of times to put her dummy back in and sometimes a cuddle but thats it, who said more dleep makes you more tired? i think thats right, unless we run on adrenilin the first few weeks, its a different kind of tiredness with a nb, like an exhausted one rather than not slept very well one ifswim.

missB-i know everyone's saying u should report the GP, but you seem reluctant to do so, you're not going to get him sacked i shouldn't immagine, i wonder if you feel like you don't have the energy to deal with it at the moment? thats how i feel a lot about things atm, you could maybe mention it to your Hv?

mrsF-its so cute when they start giggling isnt it! when dd1 starts snorting like a pig at lo, she finds it highly amusing

Shannon has been reaching for things the last few weeks, then if she manages to get them she shoves them in her mouth and makes herself sick.

i had a smear last fri, it was awful, first the nurse told me i should have been called back after my last one 4 years ago because it came back inadequete then she spent about 10 mins actually doing it to make sure she got a decent amount, i started feeling really sick and queesy, i',m such a baby with these things. although she did say i've got good muscles

Shannon seems a bit better today, hopefully the abs are kicking in, right off to do housework see ya'll later xx

FloriaTosca · 16/01/2008 11:09

Mrs F; (((BIG HUGS))) for yesterday...I'm so sorry, but glad Ben is bringing a smile to your face.

Alice; heartfelt thanks for your understanding.

J20; glad Shannon is getting better. at nurse for worrying you just as you most need to relax, hope all is ok and your muscles, I dont feel back to "normal" yet despite doing my excersises everytime LO feeds which is about 10 times a day!!!!..

nellieloula · 16/01/2008 13:47

afternoon everyone. well it sounds like people are getting better sleep (mostly). Mad to think that they're so big everything will start settling down around now (ie food and sleep patterns). I've just had Madeleine weighed - 11lbs 1. She still looks tiny to me though! She had a better night too - first one in her grobag. Put her down at 9.30 and she woke for a feed at half two/three. Best run yet I think - and she was in her moses basket too which is good. She was back in bed for the second half of the night but that was because I couldn't be bothered to get up I'm afraid. Bad mother . Funny, I am so less bothered by all the routine stuff this time round. I think it's because I know from DS that time FLIES and as this will be my last baby too I am clinging on to all the baby moments like a demented thing!!

Floria - I realy feel for you. I have sad moments too thinking that this is it, but I know you're in a far more extreme position. So big hugs to you.

missbumpy - I think the advice about speaking to your HV is a good one if you're not up to going back to the dr's.

j20 and mrs fish - with you on the nights! hope you have a brighter day today mrs f. Stefka hope D settles quicker tonight.

sorry for missing anyone else out - big hellos and have a lovely afternoon.

missbumpy · 16/01/2008 14:21

Hello,
I think I am going to write letter of complaint like everyone says. J20, you're right, main reason for hesitation is I don't feel I've got the energy for that kind of thing right now.

Alicet, I don't know how he did it. He was wearing rubber gloves so couldn't have been a sharp nail. He was spreading her labia and buttocks though. I assumed this was normal practice as there was no reason to check. Bit worried about what you say about possible implications for me. He couldn't really try to turn it round and imply I hurt her could he? Or am I being naive? Maybe I'll call HV and see what she thinks.

I def want to complain about his general manner with DD though. He should be pulled up on it before he upsets or even hurts other people's LOs.

Anyway, had an awful night last night. DD just wouldn't sleep. Jabs were on Mon and she was ok on Mon night so not sure if it was a delayed reaction. Any semblance of a routine has gone right out the window! Hoping she might have a nap in a bit and I can catch a few more minutes shut-eye.

inzidoodle · 16/01/2008 15:56

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FloriaTosca · 16/01/2008 16:07

Missbumpy; Reaction to the jabs seems to differ from child to child but my Alex had 3 horrendous days after his 8 week jabs (not the Thurs he was done but the Fri, Sat and Sun after)but, having prepared myself for hell, he was just fine after his 12 week jabs ...you are doing the right thing trying to catch up on sleep when she does...the occasional drop Calpol is helpful too

Alex is having another fractious day, we can't decide if he has tummy ache (I ate more fruit than usual yesterday...bad bfing mummy!)as he does seem a little loose in the nappy dept., or if his gums are bothering him again, but though he is munching on the teething rings, the teething gel isnt working its usual miracle...a drop of calpol did do the trick though and he has finally fed properly (ie both boobs) and fallen asleep...shame I've got to teach so can't catch up on sleep, but at least Mum should get a relatively quiet afternoon babysitting

MrsFish · 16/01/2008 16:19

Inzi - Is your HV concernced? I really would try not to worry. 50th centile is average after all, so she isn't too small. Please don't feel bad, she is eating regularly but is obviously not going to be a porker

FloriaTosca · 16/01/2008 16:23

Inzi; xposted. (((hugs)))Try not to worry. I'm so sorry you are feeling so down,it is understandable, everyone makes you feel so good about having a big bouncing baby and then everyone goes quiet when they dont keep expanding. Alex was born on the 50th centile (7lb 13oz) but dropped 13oz in 3 days down to the 20th centile and the mws made me feel like a total failure..it has taken until our last weigh in (14wks) to get back to the 50th again. It sounds like you are doing all the right things, her new formula seems to suit her,Jane is healthy and happy...and after all if she was bunged up last time she was weighed and had just fed she would have been carrying that extra weight....I was dissapointed at Alexs last weigh in because he had only put on 8oz in 3 weeks and I had got used to 10-14oz some weeks but he had just emptied his bladder and bowels and was due a feed...if I had fed him first he would have had at least another 5-6oz to add on. Try not to worry I'm sure she's fine and you are a great Mum!!!
Repeat the mantra; it is a phase, it will pass!

inzidoodle · 16/01/2008 16:26

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inzidoodle · 16/01/2008 16:31

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PolarMummy · 16/01/2008 17:00

Hi Everyone

Inzi just want to send you some hugs. I know there is no point in telling you not to worry, but from what you have said about Jane she sounds healthy and happy and I think you are a great mum. It could just be that it is going to take an extra week for the improved feeding to show on the scales. And you are NOT a crap mum you are a fab mum.

FT I really feel for you, I am sure it wasn't easy having your coil fitted but Alex is a lucky boy having a mummy who loves him so much

Missbumpy I hope your LO is felling better today and that you get a better nights sleep. A doctor we spoke to after Zoe got her jabs said it was very common for babies to have delayed reactions to the jabs and if she seemed upset to give her some calpol as this would help settle her.

MrsFish I haven't been to the chiropractor in ages but I used to love going and getting my back and neck "cracked" I felt like a floppy doll afterwards . Also Ben sounds exactly like Zoe, I was bouncing her on the bed the other day and she was loving it

alicet glad the boys slept better for you last night, long may it continue.

Well I have had a very hectic day, took Zoe to the hospital for her hip appointment, left the house at 8.30am and didn't get home until 1pm! I went to the Orthopedic clinic and they sent me for an x-ray (which I was surprised at as I thought she was still too young for x-rays) I had to wait in the x-ray department for ages, and it was roasting, then I had to go back down to the Orthopedic clinic and wait again to be seen by the consultant who worked with Zoe's hips then took me into see the x-ray only to say that there really wasn't enough detail on the x-ray for him to see anything clearly and when he looked at the ultra sound she had done in November he decided he would like her to have another ultra sound. So back up to the x-ray department I trudged and waited for AGES, finally got seen and then I had to go back down to the orthopedic department to wait again for the consultant. Each change in department meant dressing and undressing Zoe as it was too cold travelling between departments to leave her undressed! However it would appear that Zoe got lost in the system because the consultant had only just seen the scans and he said had he seen them when Zoe had them done he would have put her in a brace! Luckily though she has improved loads on her own so she only has to be reviewed in 3 months!

We finished off the afternoon nicely though at baby massage, so she is out for the count now, the poor wee lamb was exhausted.

ChocolateHobnob · 16/01/2008 17:26

Hi all

Hugs to Inzi from me too! I agree with Polar - it could take 2 weeks for the improved feeding to show in her weight. She is obviously happy and thriving, so dont worry too much and YOU ARE A GREAT MUM!

And hugs to Floria. I nearly cried (and I am tough - not a weepy type) when Rebecca grew out of her newborn stuff and that was even knowing we'll hopefully be able to try for another. This is a weepy time for all of us. You are blessed with Alex and he is with you, too.

Oh and Mrs F! Hope you're okay this afternoon-anniversaries of deaths are hard.

Well, news from here is good- we swaddled Rebecca last night and she slept from 10.30-1, from about 2-3, then about 4.30-6. Which is fantastic for her.
My root canal btw J20 didnt hurt (I had an injection anyway!) but it has left a funny taste in my mouth and was uncomfy.

I need a smear test too but someone told me I had to wait till I had a period again - is that right?

Been to baby social today - it was q good.

Hello to everyone!

inzidoodle · 16/01/2008 18:05

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FloriaTosca · 16/01/2008 18:41

Polar;What a day! Thank goodness Zoe got lost in the system though it has saved her weeks of being stuck in a brace apparently unnecessarily isn't it wonderful that her hips have improved on their own? I hope that they continue to do so.

Well Dentinox gel rubbed on Alexs gums seems to be the cure for us today...poor little mite seems to be in so much pain yet we can't feel any teeth cutting...oops ,waking...wheres that gel?

ChocolateHobnob · 16/01/2008 18:47

Polar, glad Zoe's okay and that the massage relaxed you both.

Inzi - what a crap afternoon! Take care of yourself and relish your lovely girl.

War here as DH tries to give DD EBM in a bottle... which she took happily until last week... and I hide feeling like I've committed a crime because she's hungry and I'm not there....

muppetgirl · 16/01/2008 20:56

Inzi ? You are a fab and caring mummy who just wants the best for her little girl. Try not to worry if Jane is thriving in every other way. Hard, I know but I do remember my best friends mum said my best friend put on 2ozs every week for ages. The HV?s were pestering her but as the old adage says, you can lead a horse to water?
You can?t make Jane eat! Sending you

PolarMummy · 16/01/2008 21:15

muppet of your day sounds like bliss hope you enjoy baby massage tomorrow, its nice to have some relaxed baby focused time.

Inzi its funny how we all get concerned about different things and how people's comments can make us feel so unsure. I had the opposite problem to you last week. At the mums and babies group I go to it just seemed like all the other babies were so much smaller than Zoe (even ones months older than her) and I ended up feeling that Zoe was too big She is a big baby, but she isn't fat or anything and I know that but I wasn't having a great time at the group and all the comments just made me feel worse! So I can imagine how you felt with everything happening at once!

Thanks FT I hope they continue to improve too as it would be horrible for her to have to have something done in 3 months time just when she will be thinking about getting mobile!

I have decided that although its the most necessary thing of all, feeding babies is not an easy task. I am still expressing most of Zoe's feeds although she does get BF for a while each feed, she must have been going through a growth spurt last week as she seemed to be hungrier than usual and was taking more from me which meant that I was finding it really hard to express her next bottle, it was taking forever and as I am using a manual pump my arm was killing me. Everything is getting better now though and I even bought an electric pump off ebay to make the expressing easier but it did put me in a bit of a downer for a few days, its not easy!

Well Zoe is asleep so I think I will take advantage of it and go and have a sit down and a cup of tea. Night all

alicet · 16/01/2008 21:29

Polar it sounds like you're doing an amazing job to be so dedicated to bf that you are expressing every feed. I know I couldn't have done this so well done! great that Zoe's hips have improved on their own though - like Floria says in a way it's a blessing she was lost in the system!!

Muppet glad to hear you had such a fab night out and have another planned for Friday. I know what you mean about it being nice to just be you and it makes you enjoy being a Mum even more. meant to say before too that it sounds like a good thing you have been referred to a gynae. Hope all goes well x

Choc great news on Rebecca's sleep!!!

Missbumpy I sincerely hope they couldn't turn this round on you. I think it is one of my HUGE paranoias - that someone wil ldecide I am mistreating my boys and take them from me (Sam had chickenpox and when I went to take him I noticed he had bruising on an arm like finger prinbts which as a doc I know can be perceived as suspicious and I nearly didn't go - for eg). So I am probably projecting that paranoia onto you and you should probably ignore me. But in theory if the nurse didn't see what happened and he tried to use that to get out of it it would be your word against his. That is all I am getting at. I would also say that it is NOT necessary to spread the labia and buttocks to check the hips but it IS necessary to spread the legs pretty wide - in a small girl and a doc with big hands I guess it is just about conceivable that he would have to touch her labis to do the test but I am clutching a bit at straws. Good luck for you honey whatever you decide...