Oct 07 - this little piggy stayed at home...

[Dalrymps]

Hey guys sorry for the sh*t title, if there's already been a new thread set up please direct me there???

EmMcK thinking of you next week honey. It will be tough but I have to say I am sure the worrying about it will be worse than it actually is. I agree though that a big part of it is the being able to share stuff with someone rather than anything else and it will be difficult to talk to your dh all the time with the time difference (although I am sure he would be fine for you to call if you are at the end of your tether). Remember we are all here to help! Best thing is what you are already doing to make lots of plans then it won't seem so hard...

Muppet - loving the story of Henry and the helium balloons! Can just picture him lying there absolutely fascinated!

Dal you nearly had me in tears with your story of NYE! And fantastic news about the bf - really admire you for giving it a go again - takes a lot of guts I think so good on you!

Hello all you other lovely mummies!

Adam has been an absolute delight today - he has giggled and smiled and been a total angel. I love my boy!!!! In fact my boyS!!!! They just light up my life

OK so that last post was me, and so seeing how I have blown my cover on an AIBU I name changed for in case the mum in question was on here (even though I think she's not) you might as well have a look at my AIBU thread and tell me what you think. Its the one about the friends christening

This one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2724/449047?ts=1199389431428. Would really appreciate honest replies as I really don't knwo how to take it or what to do.

Pah - really annoyed with myself! Been really good at remebering to name change back and forth all bloody day and even posted on it as myself to help my cover further!!!! Oh well - no use crying over spilt milk!

Just a quick boob update for those of you who were following the trauma! Things are much better and I am still BF. My right boob only hurts if he has a marathon feed at night and gets a bit frantic. My left still has a small crack in it so getting a bit of pain there but nothing compared to what I had before. I even fed in tesco cafe today whoo hoo!

Well done Stefka!!!! Don't know how you persisted under such circumstances - I would have been reaching for the formula ages ago if I had been you. But your persistance has paid off so well done you!

And Thanks inzi fopr your post on my other thread xxx

Hi Alice - I would definately invite all of a 'group' of friends as to leave one out would upset the one left out. It's a Christening not a wedding so the cost is immaterial really. A few sarnies and a bit of cake, not much.

I read Ollie his stories earlier and looked down and Henry was aslepp -maybe the balloons worked afterall I put him straight to bed 6.45 and he slept for half an hour, I boobed him, he sqeaked a bit and then went to sleep. DH will bottle him at 10pm so fingers crossed...

EmMk - I'm not surprised you're nervous about next week I would be too. Do you have anyone near that could help out if things get a too much? We're all always here also!!

Oliver's 4th birthday is in March (Oh my God 4th!!!!!!) and I was thinking of doing a Mr. Men party as he's into them at the mo. I could make a Mr. Happy cake quite easily. Anyone got any other Mr Men food/games/party bag ideas? I was thinking of just inviting 10 friends instead of the whole class as I did last time and having a traditional party at home. (What I'd really like to do is hire a little bouncy castle and put it up on the green outside and do food just outside the house and then party games inside but it's March and I can't guarantee the weather)

Ant ideas??

Go Stefka
Go Stefka
Go Stefka
Go Stefka

(said in a Rikki Lake style)

Well done Stefka
Dalrymp - WOW what a mega post glad you are doing so well regarding the bfing, I know I couldn't do what you have done.
alicet - 'bugger' I bet you are really annoyed with yourself I would feel exactly the same as you though, I have put myself in your position with my two close friends that I met through the antenatal classes and I would be incredibly hurt and upset too, not sure whether I would mention it though, I am a wuss and don't like confrontation, I hope you sort it out though xx
EmMck - I'm sure next week won't be as bad as you think. My DH went away for 10 days when I was 8 months pregnant and had Sam running around and I managed fine
Strawberrylace - No sign of snow here in Derby either.
Inzi - I use a dummy with Ben its a lifesaver
J20 - about the laptop, I hope the insurance sorts you out.

Dal- I am thinking of you with the bf - i thought we were going ok with the nipple shields (a lifesaver), and had started to try and wean him off using them. this was going well, but now i am in agony again. don't know what to do now - am back on the shields, but it still hurts - why is it so difficult? Feels like one step forward, two steps back. Another topic altogether - how do you get to post such long posts? my laptop freezes above a certain amount of words - is there something i should do differently? such an ignoramous on these things....
EmMcK - sure you will cope brilliantly, but as alicet says, you can always come here and let it all out
Stefka - you are doing so well on the bf - and in public as well! Any tips for me on getting through the pain??

Muppet - how about theming the food - little square sandwiches would be Mr Strong sandwiches, little sausages would be Mr Skinny sausages, jelly would be Mr Jelly jelly (!). Then you could get some toilet roll and get them to make each other into Mr Bump by wrapping toilet roll round each other for a short while (if you don't mind wasting toilet roll) and have a Mr Messy drawing competition (cos he's easiest to draw). HTH - though i don't have much experience of 4 year olds, so these ideas might not work at all!

Thanks for that Strawberry! I just wanted to do something a little different than soft play...

Are your nipples cracked strawberry? I had to listen to the radio or watch tv to distract me. I also bit down on fruit gums - I must have gone through hundreds of the bloody things.

Alice that is a hard situation - I would feel hurt too.

Strawberry, you could have an alternative career inventing Mr Men parties! Cool ideas. My brain is too fried to suggest any...

Alice, I posted on your other thread but dont think I said anything helpful.

Well done Stefka and Dal on the bf! Strawberry, too. I used shields initially not for pain but because DD refused to latch for a few days. I can't suggest much for pain, although in Boots today I saw all manner of things purporting to assuage cracked nipples... no idea if they work...

On the public bf, I went to Debenhams yesterday and bought a couple of Miriam Stoppard bf bras - they have a sort of double cup, so the bottom half comes down to expose the nipple and allow you to feed while the top half stays put and gives you some discretion! They are 18 pounds for a pack of two (reduced from 25) and they are comfy so far.

Well, been to see friends this afternoon and Rebecca was well behaved. Tonight she is as usual refusing to go to sleep - it could be worse than ever as we're moving her from a swaddling blanket to a sleeping bag - watch this space. DH is trying to get her to sleep now - I took my turn from 8 and stopped about twenty minutes ago. Who knows how long it will take...!

Hugs to all of you and Polar, hope Zoe's doing okay!

Stefka - can't see any cracks, which is what's making the pain so frustrating! But I like the idea of biting down on fruit gums. I saw a helpful HV yesterday, who checked my latch and that seems ok. there's a baby cafe in a nearby town tomorrow so I may pop along there for some moral support I think

Muppet - I agree about doing something different to soft play - seems an expensive option. Your Mr Men party sounds much more fun!

Choc - i will have a look in boots then - I am a sucker for 'products' of any kind! And the bf bras sound interesting. i managed to feed in a pub on xmas eve - was ok as i was with dh and friends, and at least that way olly was quiet and we could stay for another drink... I am keeping my fingers crossed for you with the change to sleeping bags - they work for us so I will send you positive vibes

by the way i know my post was massive wasn't it! couldn't believe it when i saw it on the screen
strawberry - my computer just doesn't seem to freeze no matter how much i write, maybe it's to do with how much memory you have free or the speed of your internet? i know what you mean about the bf, so difficult, a real challenge, i contacted the local bf councillor which helped, you tried this?
Stefka - Wow!!! what amazing progress, you're doing so well, i still haven't bf in public, well done!
Anyway i'm off before i type another massive post...

Evening everyone,

Sorry I can't remember what everyone has said

I changed Shula into a tots bots nappy at 8.30 tonight and then fed her. She was asleep by 9.30pm. She woke crying at 1020, but after I got her wind up ( massive loud burp that DP heard through the monitor) and cuddled her for a few minutes she was asleep again.
Hopefully that will be her until 7am.

hi everyone!!happy new year!!

how is everyone?

sorry not been about for yonks again.been feeling realy crappy,and turns out i have PND,which i feel so guilty about having!

luckily,ive had it before (14 years ago after dd1) so knew after i had been sat on the floor crying uncontrollably for 2 hours,and it dawned on me that the only way i would get some sleep would be if i wanst here!i picked the phone up straight away and rang my gp.(who just happened to be on holiday this week!0my mum rang and came down and she rang HV who came today.we sat talking and she says its classic PND.probably brought on by lack of sleep and everything that has happened over the past few months (having scarlette 5 weeks early by emergency cs,then her getting taken straight to liverpool,me having the cs,getting sterilised,blood transfusion,being in alder hey for 4 weeks,coming home and moving house the following week,then organising the christening and then xmas!!!)and i think that now things have finally slowed down,its all just hit me.but i feel like i should just be getting on with things and putting it all behind me.

anyway,i chatted to hv today,filled in a thing called the edinburgh pnd chart (loads of q's about how im feeling and i have to underline the one appropriate to how i feel) and im seeing my gp next week.

sorry to whitter on...didnt really know where else to turn to whinge about it!and i guess i was just wondering if anyone else has gone through this?

anyway,did everyone have a good xmas?

sorry again to moan!!hoep everyones ok

ITS SNOWING - I love the snow, am tempted to go and lift Zoe to go out and make Snow angels but somehow I don't think she would appreciate it!

My 20 something brother and sister are currently out in the snow building snowmen but live too far away for me to go and join in very

Sorry Buffy x-posted, sorry to hear you are feeling so down and I am glad that you are getting help. No wonder though you have had so much to deal with, any one of the things would be more than enough to cope with never mind all of them.

How is scarlette? Could your mum come down and give you a bit more help or could she stay with you for a couple of days or until you see your GP. Just remember that we are all here for you and although we may not be able to be much practical support to you (given the physical distance) we are always here to listen and to remind you that you are not alone. Big Hugs to you and you definately aren't whinging.

HI Buffy - So sorry to hear you're feeling so down PND is crap especially the unconrontrollable crying when people ask you what's wrong and you say 'I don't know!!' You've been through so much over the last few months it really isn't surprising you're feeling so low. Well done for admiting there is a problem and not just carrying on regardless. Your HV sounds fab and I hope your GP is also as supportive. Like Polar said, we're all here in thought and definately opinion!, even if we can't offer you physical help

No snow here

Henry slept till 4am where he 'uffed and puffed' for a while until at 4.30 he really started going for it! So not bad a nights sleep for him but another broken night for me whilst waiting for him instead of feeding as soon as he woke. Still, at least there was no dozing on the stairs this time

I have to go and clear the living room up from the 3 children who wrecked it yesterday. I sorted the kitchen and playroom but didn't have the energy for the lviing room. What is it about children needing to tip every basket out and empty every box all over the floor

See you all later
x

alicet - no you're not being intrusive. DH is prone to depression although he's not needed anti-depressants since we've been together . Stressful situations do push him in that direction though and he's found it quite stressful having a baby arrive (haven't we all?!). Her diagnosis has pushed him to his limit and he's found it very difficult to cope. He is getting better - I'm not sure he's realised that - he actually brought up the subject of her condition in conversation with his other daughter (grown-up) on boxing day, which is the first time he's voluntarily talked about it. That's a big step towards dealing with it. You're absolutely right about the effect it has on me - I'm so used to dh lavishing me with care and attention and just when I need that the most he doesn't have it to spare, which makes me feel a bit unloved - nonsense of course, I just have to grow up a bit. And it will get better - it's not been 3 months yet for heaven's sake.

EmMcK - not surprised you're nervous about dh being away. I'm sure you'll be fine though - I bet you surprise yourself with how well you cope.

Alicet - posted reply on your other thread.

Muppetgirl - "I could make a Mr. Happy cake quite easily" - lol, I wouldn't know where to start - you're much more domestic goddessy than me! Sorry, no useful ideas on the Mr Men front - Strawberry seems to be doing well though.

Buffy - sorry you feel so bad - at least you knew what it was and you're getting some help. We're always here for support too .

Hope everybody's coping with the snow. We've not had any, but we tend not to get any extreme weather in Manchester - we're too protected by various hilly bits - we just get drizzle instead.

Buffy sorry to hear you're so low - like others have said its no wonder really with all you have been through and being brave enough to admit it is the first very big (and brave) step to getting better. Sending you virtual hugs - I'm here for you xxx

Muppet a Mr Men party sounds fab! Strawberrys ideas are brilliant too!!! No sure if I can top that but I'll have a think! One thing is you could put Mr Men books in the party bags although you have probably thought of this already! We're having a party for Sam for his birthday in March which is loosely themed on fire engines (invitations, cake etc) but as he's only 2 I don't think I need to do games and stuff. What do you (and others with boys over 2) think though? Any suggestions?

Strawberry (party planner! ) a couple of things I thought after your post on bf from when I was bf Sam. He had a tongue tie which made it very painful as although he was latching well (and everyone who checked my latch said it was perfect too) but couldn't draw my nipple into his mouth properly. Like you we ended up managing with nipple shields until he was 5 and a half months so if they work keep going but might be worth getting your hv to check for this? Also I read that its not just about the latch but the position of your baby as if they are badly positioned they may be latching on OK but because of the angle they are approaching your breast at the ducts bringing the milk can be bent a bit which hurts. Read it in this book www.amazon.co.uk/What-Expect-When-Youre-Breastfeeding/dp/0091906962/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1 199435201&sr=8-1 which was a life saver. Basically she says to look at your breast when your lo is feeding and see if it seems to be being pulled in any direction. If so, move your lo in the direction of the pull (if that makes sense) until the pull isn't there anymore. This made a massive difference to me! The book makes it clearer though with pics and stuff...

Ellensmelons this is the book I was talking about to try and influence the sex of your baby www.amazon.co.uk/Choose-Sex-Your-Baby-Natural/dp/074753313X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=119943531 3&sr=1-1

Thanks loads lovely ladies for your support about my other thread. I actually ended up talking to her about it last night. Before Christmas I got myself into a bit of a state about feeling left out when in fact one of the other mums was feeling the same and I wasn't at all - just with everyone I had to stay when Adam was born I didn't see them as much. Didn't want to get myself worked up in a state over what my gut reaction said was nothing. Really underlying my upset was the fact that she had done things like that because in fact the others were closer and if that was the case I wanted to know. So basically I told her that although I totally understood where she was coming from it had upset me not to be involved when the others were, that I didn't want her to change anything as my upset was less important than that she had the christening her and her family wanted and that I just wanted to ask her if I would have been in the frame to be a godparent if I had been a Christian. Or if the fact I don't believe in God was a convenient way to exclude me. Or if there was something else going on. She apologised if I was upset and said that the reason I am not invited is that there are other friends they would have to ask if I was. And that if I believed in God I would definately have been considered and she really hopes I will have just as big a role in her boy's life as the other 2 mums and that we will be friends for a long long time. I feel much better after that chat - I am not that worried about not going now - it was more what it might have meant than not actually going. Don't think it was awkward and don't think she will be upset of feel she has to invite me either. So relaly glad I talked to her as I know I would have built this up into something its not! And the 3 mums are very good friends - they do see each other a bit more than me by virtue of the fact that all the good toddler things are on the days Sam is in nursery and if I wanted to spend my 'Adam' days with toddlers I would want to be with my own!!!! I think I need to make a bit more effort to arrange stuff on the other days and chill my bones!!!!

Anyway sorry for ranting but it does help to get this crap off my chest!!!!

Cross posted Anyasmum - great to hear that dh is getting better and you don't 'just have to cope' with struggling with how this affects you too - we are all here for you if you are struggling! Hope you have friends and family who can give more practical support too.

Oh and I am with you on not being a domestic goddess - my fire engine cake will be strictly bought and paid for and someone else can make it!!!