August 2007 - milk, mash or puree - take your pick and take cover!

[shrinkingsagpuss]

James - sorry, couldn't wait any longer... hope my link works...

Well it was the last straw with dd's behaviour last night. She was so awful she made me cry. When I got to mum's the first thing she told me was that dd had been a pain in the a*se. That upset me because she has always said how good she is until recently. Then dd refused to leave the house so I had to drag her out screaming 'I want nanny'. For the first 15 minutes of the journey she was screaming 'go away mummy, I don't want you' and 'I want nanny, stop driving me home, take me back to nanny's'. Then she started talking to herself but I burst into tears. I talked to dh about it and we decided it was probably because we treat her too much like a small adult and give her too much choice. I'm a firm believer in supernanny's philosophy that bad behaviour is often caused by something the parents are doing wrong. From now on she is not given so many choices and is going to bed at 7:30 instead of 8:30 (we think it's down to being tired too). Will be posting later on 'Behaviour/Development' if anyone has any other ideas.

Anyway, enough of my problems.

Glad your feeling better pink. How is ds1 getting on at school? Is he enjoying it?

Food has taken a bit of a back seat while ds is still recovering from his infection. I'm still giving him yoghurt cos I think he's got a touch of dd's tonsilitis. He starts sucking on his bottle and then starts crying and won't drink any more. Last night I gave him 2 petit filous instead and this morning I gave him some calpol after he started crying and then he was fine drinking his milk.

I think it's a bit of a lottery with solids and sleeping. Some say it makes them sleep better, others say they start waking more.

Wow so much chatter, we all seem to be having some dramas, not fun

Gill- big hugs, you shouldn't blame yourself at all, i think dd is still adjusting to the change of having to share you and the new baby, and your work too. they go up and down for a while, and i haven't forgotten the words from my book, 'Going from one to two' that says 'the child will pick their most annoying behavior, to gain attention' our ds 's was whacking us it got really bad then good, small relapse, now good. He also has lots of tantrums and tells us to go away -all normal to me. My philosophy is ignore the bad behavior and praise the good, and keep them busy/active. i have been doing lots of stimulating stuff with ds- alphabet, books, sand pit, playdough and he has been a dream lately. Today he even (without asking) said 'mummy here nappy, put it bin' and ran off and put LL's nappy in the bin, he also said 'mummy all pretty' yesterday, i'll just keep thinking of these moments next time when he throws his juice on the ground and starts wailing that he doesn't want apple/mango juice he wants apple !!!

Tasha - i wish i could come up with a good joke or something to lighten your day, can't think of any as it's nearly 11pm here anyway echo others, your doing a great job, I guess the main thing is having the dc's all close in age will be less work later when will ds1 start pre school? my ds 2.5 loves it and that's about my only chance to do housework, otherwise i don't worry too much. i don't even have an iron it's great!!!

think i'm ranted out now, i'll have to catch up more later.

LL is starting to get to the swipe mummy's drink over stage- grabbing at everything

oh gill - i've had a few of those journey's home with dd1 screaming thewhole way. dp and i came to the same conclusion as you have - that we were treating her as an older child rather than a nearly 3 yr old. i would say that since we realised this and started doing things a bit differently there has been an improvement. there's still some hard times though. i think that some of it is jealousy of new baby (who never gets told no, stop it, wait etc) and trying to exert some authority.

before we do something we tell her what the 'rules' are e.g. going to park if she doesn't take a hand when asked we'll go right home, she'll be given 5 min notice that we are leaving.

if she's not doing something she's warned that it must be done by the time we count to 3 or it's on time out

depending on situation she'll be warned tha a favourite toy will go away

hitting or hurting someone is an immediate time out - no warning

i've also started saying to dd2 wait a minute while mum sees to dd1 - so that dd1 thinks that dd2 has to wait.

i'm also waiting on a book called how to deal with the strong willed child to see if there are any other tips....

Gill- PS my ds didn't go to bed till 9;45pm tonight, when i put him to bed earlier he was worse. For him, it's better to go to bed later and have a nap, than no nap and early bed. breaks up the day for him i think.

my2weegirls- love that, wait advice for dd2, i will do that too.

another PS when i say ignore i think it reads that i don't discipline naughty behaviour but we do a lot of warnings/time out. i'm just very conscious of not making a big fuss of naughty behaviour all the time as the child then sees themselves as naughty and then they don't care. if you praise the good then the child sees themselves as good and tries harder to be good. i learnt that in psychology in my teaching degree, so i'm sticking to it it does work.

uki - i try hard to ignore the bad behavior too - but the little bugger seems to know exactly what to do/not to do to get me really annoyed.

like you i remind myself of all the good things she does and says.

Oh, bums and willies, I bought a 6-12 month grobag off ebay because he's at the bottom of all his 0-6m ones, and it's just arrived and it's TINY, it looks like 0-6 months. But the label inside does say 6-12 months so there's nothing I can do. Bum bum bum.

Uki- sorry, didn't explain it very well, his uncle wasn't ON the telly, he was WATCHING telly, and James was craning to see one, then the other! I did used to have a boyfriend who was related to that bald fella who used to present the crystal maze...

Trying to make use of the spare veggies after our meals, so whizzed up a load of leftover steamed carrot and mixed greens (spinach, cabbage etc) it looked like poo! No idea if lo will go for it, might mix it with some sweetcorn puree before I give it to him.

Had a heart in mouth moment this morning- lo woke up at 6.30am and his clothes were wet so I changed his nappy, then realised I was bursting for the loo, so gave dp a shake and asked him to change J's clothes for dry ones. He said he would, and turned over to say hello to James. I went off to the loo, made myself a drink, checked my phone etc, came back upstairs and dp was flat out asleep, with baby inches away from the edge of the bed. If he'd have rolled he'd have fallen off.

Felt really guilty, should have realised dp is crap when he first wakes up (when I was in labour at 4am I phoned him from the bath to tell him this was it and he should get up, and he fell back asleep) he just isn't to be trusted when sleepy!

I just shout or when I'm in a good mood turn up the radio really loud and dance and sing.

Double bums and willies!!! Ordered a bath seat off ebay, thought it was one of those ring type ones for when he could sit unaided, it's just arrived and it's one of the plastic body support ones. Gaaah, I'm crap. He's sitting happily in it watching me type though, so maybe it'll be ok.

Thanks guys. I love the wait advice too. I'll definitely do that.

James - were they from an ebay shop? If so, try contacting the vendor to ask if they'll swap for the next size/different style. You would end up paying extra postage but it's worth emailing them to ask.

havent had time to catch up yet sorry, but just got reply on mumsnet local

BTW I've got one of those body support things for the bath. Ds is fine in it at the moment although he's getting a bit wide for it. I'm sure it won't be long before he starts trying to sit up in it or roll over - that's when dd had to move to a bath seat.

When I woke up this morning and went to get ds out of the cot I found him widthways across the cot on his tummy. He wasn't very happy in that position so hopefully he'll learn to roll the other way soon.

im having such a dramatic week lol ive been trying for the past year to change ds1s second name so they are all the same and my ex agreed to it and since i hadnt heard from the solicitor for a while i phoned them today and she said that the registrar wont do it until ive changed his name with the doctor but the doctor wont do it until they have the forms!!! i would like it done for him starting school but i phoned them today and the forms for nursery have to be in at the end of the month! new i should'nt have agreed to him having his second name in the first place.

anyway poor lo got carried from my room up the stairs to ds1s room by ds1 and dumped on the floor to watch tv with him

ive had alot of them close calls with los falling off bed and quite a few successes!lol

think im gonna start back to the driving lessons

aww gill ive had loads of things like that from ds1 too, even though you know they dont mean it and are just trying to express themselves its still very hurtfull.
james i have one of them ring bath seats they are really good and i had ds2 in it before he could sit and he just slouched a bit but hes started climbing out of it now, good while it lasted

I'm having a stoopid day today!!!! I found two chavvy rings in a drawer when we moved in this house: a gold ring with a ruby and cubic zirconia flower style setting, an an icky gold sovereign. Both too small for me, not that I'd have wanted to wear either, so I decided I would sell them when I got round to it. But anyway since losing weight my usual ring has gotten loose so out of curiosity I just tried on the flower ring and it slid on like a dream....and now it's feckin stuck on! gaaah

Tried butter, talc, shampoo, baby oil- won't budge. BUMS AND WILLIES!!!!!!

Could have been worse mind, could have been the sovereign. I might have had to amputate, or wear one glove Michael Jackson style.

watch your finger doesnt fall off james!!!

Doesn't help that I can't find my nailvarnish remover anywhere (I suspect dp has nicked it to clean PC parts with again) so I have chipped remnants of barbie pink polish on that hand too. Oh, the shame.

dd2 has just fallen asleep on her playmat - do i move her or leave her to sleep there!??!?!

dd1 never, never, never did anything like that - she' only sleep on me.

james - stick your hand in cold water and leave it there as long as you can, will help your hands become less swollen and help you to stop looking like a chav

tashsa - just think of the freedom and what you could do if you passed your driving test (though obviously you need a car). do your ds2 and 3 have your name or your partners name?

my2weegirls, id leave her there lol is that bad.
they have my name cause i want them all to have the same, we have a car id just run dp to work then take the car.

yeah will just leave her and go and try and do some housework

it really makes a big difference being able to get out in the car with them and increases the amount of things you can do.

HOORAY, it's off! Good old KY... lol!

yeh ive done about 40 lessons in all from i was 17 but just keep stopping them, and was just thinking dp only works about a mile away he could walk lol

dp just phoned me from work, he works in tesco and has just bought ds2 a travel cot for 20 pound, isn't that good, see i only have one cot and lo is starting to get a bit big for mosses basket and ds2 is too young for bed just hope he doesnt mind swapping his cot for travel cot, aww bless him i feel bad now

£20 is good, is it the grey hauck one? we've got that one. Never used it though cos lo sleeps with me when we stay anywhere, and need to clear a space downstairs before I can use it as a playpen.

yeh i think it is that one, im i being horrible to swap ds2 into it?