May 2020 Babies

[MarshmallowsOnToast]

Still waiting for my little man to arrive but starting a thread ready. Can't wait to catch up with all the other May 20 mums.

Huge congratulations to those who have already met their little ones. It's been quite a scary time to face giving birth recently and you've all done amazingly.

Baby's dad when he's nice he's v nice when he's not nice he's got a v bad temper.
It's stressful being in a complicated situation such as this when there is an innocent baby in the middle of it.

I hope you can work out a reasonable situation with your ex. Is he generally a nice person or is he difficult to deal with?

That's cool the babys share the same birthday what time was yours born? I think O was 10.58am. By c section!

A question for those of you with older children or just experience in general. Are we supposed to actually 'do' anything with our babies yet in terms of entertainment? Mine literally has 0 interest in anything 'play' related. He just likes chilling in our arms and looking around. Is that ok? We take him for walks, and tickle and talk to him, but he just screams if put on a playmat or similar 99% of the time.

@Caspianberg nope that really is all the need right now :) mine likes his swing chair but can't stand anything else! When you think it's fine, start off with sensory toys. We swore by our foil blanket and disco lamp first time round and they are ready and waiting now :)

@Delbelleber well the person I was married to was an amazing man who I loved and still love dearly... but he isn't that person anymore. I honestly feel like that person has died and this new figure is someone completely different who I just don't like or trust... don't get me wrong he's been v supportive of me since giving birth, but after ending our marriage so abruptly and then his treatment of me following it I just second guess everything and I don't know what his motive is :( I constantly feel threatened that he's gonna demand 50/50 custody and court as he's thrown it at me a few times... I'm not a massively confident person in confrontations and my boys are everything to me, so I just feel really insecure around him :( He works in a kiddies care home and I think he thinks he knows so much more about children then me because of his job so he constantly undermines me. It's just horrible. The lockdown has meant we've had to spend more time with each other but I'm just finding that a bit stressful. Every now and again I feel I see glimmers of man I married... then I'm constantly reminded of him deserting me and my son and his complete lack of emotion about it :( it's so hard. I never ever thought I'd be a single mum, I've dreamt of a family my whole life. I want more children and a nice house... but now I just feel like why would anyone want to be with me with 2 children :( I just feel like he took so much away from me and he gets to walk Scott free!

So sorry to ramble like that and get so deep.. I can't stop when that can is opened, haha! Generally I'm coping and have coped really well! Like I said he's a different person now so I'm happy to move forward!

@Caspianberg there’s not really much you can do at this stage, apart from spending lots of time cuddling and talking to baby. I like to put mine on his play mat and he will lay there for about 10 mins if I’m lucky. He likes to follow his big brother with his eyes. It’s quite good to start encouraging tummy time as well, either on a mat or them lying on your chest for a few minutes (they usually hate it). It wont be long and they will be so much more alert and enjoy more things 😁

Anyone else's babies got a snotty nose? My little one is so unsettled and blocked up :(

@Raindancer411 - yes, we bought a fabulous snot sucker from 'Nuk'. It was about £3 in boots type place. And baby saline solution from pharmacy. It works well most of the time as poor thing could hardly breathe

I have a question about overbearing grandparents and 'stuff'. My parents in particular seem to be buying him toys and clothes on an almost daily basis. They have even announced various christmas presents they have already bought. Its all way too much, and most is really not what we would dress him in half the time. We have nicely said he has plenty, blah blah, but its still being bought, sent and stored up for now and months in advance.
Anyway, after nicely asking them not to, and them not getting the hint, is it bad to just leave them buying whatever they fancy, thank them, and donate 90%? The alternative is getting strict but then hurting their feelings.
Some examples include the 3-6 month snowsuit that just arrived and is his current size (its almost 30 degrees outside today), and a whole bunch of shiny football type kits.

I would try to mention to them that the sizes they are ordering you won't get to use the stuff and to save their money. If they really want to buy things suggest the put some money into an account for him? It is hard but the other thing is to keep quiet and politely accept and sell on some of the stuff and put the money into an account for him.

Anyone else depressed over their baby belly? Maybe I am just being impatient but it's not going down fast enough and I look 4 months pregnant. Also when I move I have noticed that I leak urine 😰😭 Is this my future?!? I cannot remember how long it took to get my belly down and defiantly don't remember leaking with my first.

@Raindancer411 I'm definitely feeling you with the belly issue! I was feeling quite good about a week pp as could see a big difference but for the past four weeks nothing seems to have happened and worried this is just it now, a big stripy jelly belly! None of my old clothes fit so still wearing maternity clothes

@Caspianberg yep, there's not much they can do at the moment so sounds like you're doing everything right! Once they become more aware and can start to grasp things then you can do more "entertainment"

As for the unwanted buying of stuff, it's really hard to combat! There's quite a few pieces of clothing that my mother-in-law got that I hated and never put my first in (also buying inappropriate things for the time of year and much bigger sizes (like buying an age 4-5 jumper when he was 1) because of a bargain price ). I've only recently donated some of them and he's 3 now!

It's a bit easier with my parents because they're at home in the UK so my mum can buy whatever she wants and it stays at their house. And she's much more likely to listen to me about what I like/what's needed than MIL.

@Raindancer411 have you tried keeping up with kegels? There's an app called "my pff" which has a couple of exercises you can do and you can set reminders to do them. People also recommend the NHS Squeezy app, but you have to pay for it and the PFF one is free. I really feel like I've lost some tone down there this time round so hopefully it'll help with that!

So a bit random, but can any breast feeding Mamas answer... Ms nappy's have been a bit on the greenish side today/last night. I am aware that breast milk becomes more watery in the heat to combat it and baby normally feeds for shorter but more frequently, which M has been doing. Anyway, could this be effecting his nappies? Anyone else experienced this?
He's other wise fine. Sleep has gone absolutely out the window now, hoping it's his 6 weeks growth spurt 😩

How long are everyone's babies going over night between feeds? We are having to wake my little girl about 5hrs to feed (4 weeks old). I am not sure how long they should go without milk

@Raindancer411 Ada goes around 9.45-3.30/4 and then usually back to sleep again by 4.30/4.45 till 7.30/8. She is on the bottle. She is 7 weeks now but at 4 weeks was going 5 hours in the night. As long as there is no problem with weight gain HV advised me to just let them sleep - they will wake if hungry.

@May2311 @Raindancer411 super jealous of you guys!! Izzy is 5 weeks and had a pretty solid 3 hours between waking up in the night then hourly from 5-7! I was told as long as feeding well with several wet/dirty nappies a day then she's getting enough and not to worry about waking for feeds by HV so enjoy the extra hours sleep!

Oh yes I personally wouldn't wake for a feed if everything else is ok :) I did it once and I remember it being like 2am and he didn't go back to sleep so I well and truly learnt my lesson 😂🙈

Yes I was also told that once back to birth weight, as long as they are gaining weight as usual then they can sleep through the night if they choose to without you waking them.
We had one or two 9pm-3am sleeps I think so far, but usually he sleeps 4-5hrs the first stretch of the night and we don't wake him to feed. After the first stretch he seems to wake every 2 hrs to feed anyway atm.

@november90 - i think i read its to do with getting too much slightly watery milk. Midwife said its fine to get the odd day like that, but they shouldnt have green poop every day ideally.
To remedy, try block feeding on one breast for say 3 hrs each. So only feed from the other if he seems to have fed a lot and still hungry in one sitting, otherwise feed say 9-12 from left at any feed, and the 12-3 from right etc.

@november90 as Caspian said, it can be normal if it's not often. But just be wary of block feeding. It's a way to reduce your supply.

Thank you both! ❤️
I posted on the breast feeding Facebook page and they echoed what you said really and that it's likely due to it digesting quickly due to the milk being thinner with the weather which is a relief. It seems more yellow today but I'll keep an eye on it :)

Noah’s just had his jabs on the hottest day of the year! I’m prepared for a rough day. Although he has managed to sleep for an hour and a half in his Moses basket which is unheard of in the day! Have been able to do some painting with my other son and eaten lunch with both hands 😁
Hope all your little ones are coping ok in the heat x

My little one is asleep in the buggy in the garden whilst I did some light weeding. Didn't want to over do it... sadly I had a palpation earlier so hoping it's a one off...

Hello everyone. Been a bit absent since a posted a couple of weeks back. Thank you for the kind replies, I was really struggling with my emotions back then but doing much better now. I still worry about my bond with my baby, it doesn’t seem to have come as naturally to me as I thought it would but I’m being patient.

I hope everyone is well, especially in this heat! I’ll try and read back a bit to see what has been going on :) x

Omg I found you all :) I need to catch up on how you are all doing.

Josephine was born May 1st :) so 8 weeks old now.

Hope everyone is well xxx

@Emmacb82 oh bless Noah, how is he and how are you coping after his jabs?!

@sazzlerazzle I hope you both are doing well ❤️ the weeks have absolutely flown by haven't they! I can't seem to let go of calling Marley a newborn still 🙈

@Moonstone12 oh look at gorgeous Josephine, she's sooo sweet! How have you both been doing? It's so nice to see your name pop up :)

Anyway SO glad to dw the back of that heatwave? Breast feeding a cluster feeding growth spurting baby was a bloomin nightmare! Haha! I felt like we were both going to melt and morph into one 😰

@Raindancer411 hope you’re doing ok after your palpitations

@sazzlerazzle welcome back! Glad to hear you’re doing a bit better now. We are all here to listen

@Moonstone12 Josephine is gorgeous!

@november90 Noah is fine after his jabs thanks, was hot for a day but coped really well with them! So did I! I’m so glad the weather has changed too, certainly is sticky work trying to breastfeed in that heat!

@Emmacb82 Better today thanks. Hoping it was a mix of heat and needing more drink.

Well so far we have had 2 trips in an ambulance before she is even 5 weeks old. She is so snuffly she is struggling to feed and breath at times. The Drs are happy with her each time and say not much they can do and to just carry on as we are. It's such a worry...

@Raindancer411 glad you’re feeling better. Poor little thing, if it’s any reassurance, I’m a paeds nurse and we see lots and lots of babies with similar problems. Have you got any saline drops for her nose? Using them before feeds can help clear her airways and then she will feed a bit better. Also, try and feed little and often rather than expecting her to take her normal feeds. They can cope with this better and can usually manage to take smaller amounts but more frequently. As long as she’s still have wet nappies, she is getting enough. But if you’re not happy with her, don’t hesitate to get her checked out again x