To breastfeed or not ?

[Marphise]

Name changed for this.

I'm expecting my second child soon and considering whether to breastfeed or not, and I'm having a hard time deciding.

I didn't breastfeed my first. There were many reasons but mostly I just wasn't in the right head space to commit to it. It was the right decision at the time and I do not regret it.

For the second I started out as "absolutely not" but I'm having second thoughts and only have a few more weeks to decide.

Pros :

• could be a nice bonding experience with baby
• easier at night and on the go

Cons :

• Feeding every 2 hours with baby at the breast for 45min each time... Feels like I'd spend my days breastfeeding and doing little else

• I don't want to become baby's pacifier and have to breastfeed to sleep all the time

• babies who breastfeed need to feed more often and take longer to sleep through the night. As a single parent, putting the kids to bed is the time of day when I get to relax and I'm not keen on having to get up through the night for up to a year (my son slept through the night at 3 months old, my friend's breastfed baby is still waking up five times a night !)

• I wouldn't be able to leave baby in care of anyone else and catch a break, not even for a few hours. And yes I know about pumping but the whole sterilisation of equipment/bottles seems like a huge hassle.

• I wouldn't be able to eat/drink what I want (I'm really looking forward to a few glasses of wine ! Don't want to abstain for another year)

The health benefit aren't really an argument for me, my siblings and I were all bottlefed and are all healthy and a healthy weight. And I also believe that reluctant breastfeeding is worse than happy bottlefeeding for the emotional wellbeing of both the baby and parent. So I will not factor this in my decision.

One alternative would be to breastfeed occasionally and bottlefeed the rest of the time but my understanding is that once used to breast or bottle babies have a hard time switching.

An option would be to try breastfeeding and stop if I really don't like it but this means the milk coming in and then it's much harder to transition (potential mastitis and/or baby learning to accept the bottle). Last time I bottlefed from the start so milk didn't come in. I'm not comfortable with my breasts as it is and the idea of them getting bigger and/or leaking seems gross to me.

So it feels like I have to commit, one way or the other. If I start breastfeeding I can't just stop. And I can't just breasfteed occasionally (I'm guessing that wouldn't work well with baby and with establishing a supply). The bonding experience tempts me but the impact on my body and autonomy repels me.

My cons list is much longer than my pro list, so maybe that's my answer... And I'm leaning towards "not" at the moment. But still, niggling doubts...

So... I don't know what to do. I go from "hell. No" to "maybe ?" every few days. Anyone been through this ? What did you decide ? Did you regret it ?

Thanks !

Op I've not read the full thread so apologies if I repeat anything. I'm currently breast feedback my 5 week old. It is challenging at times but for me worth it. We were both struggling with night feeds so I now express 3 bottles for his night feeds. He usually has them roughly around 1,4 then 6.30. I then express each morning as I'm full for the following evening. This morning I managed to express 15oz so I'll be able to freeze some too for future nights out. Regarding drinking you can still have 1 or 2 glasses some midwives say you can have more but I personally wouldn't. Good luck with your decision

Hi,
My baby is now 9 weeks old and I was like you, unable to decide, but i always knew i wanted to try it and see how we (me and baby) got on with it. I stuck with it and i can honestly say the thought of bottle feeding, with the constant sterilising of bottles, waiting for the bottle to cool down (unless using a prep machine) etc i'm glad i did stick with it. The only thing i do hate about it is feeding in public so this lock down has been great for me in that sense!!

I can honestly say my baby does not stay at the breast for 45 minutes at a time, he's really good and can usually be there just for 10 minutes until he feels full. Night time is the same, he wakes up twice through the night, usually around 2am, then again at 4am for a feed. (Although tonight is a different story, hence why i am wide awake and posting at this time!!!)

As for needing a break or letting someone else feed, i had these discussions with my health visitor and she said you can both breast and bottle feeding if you alternate. Dont stick with the breast all day, then the bottle at night or three feeds on the breast then one bottle back on the breast etc. It has to be one then the other but i've not tried that so i cant advise there either.

The only advice i can give you is just to try it and see how you get on, you can always say you tried and never be able to regret giving it a go. He/she might not take to breastfeeding, not all babies do. But i've found since having my baby and breastfeeding that there is so much support out there if you need it. Lots of help in the community (when we can eventually get back out!), theres phone lines you can call and i found a couple of the midwives were fantastic and had no issues texting me and answering my questions etc.

Another good thing about breastfeeding is the milk is there instantly and its free so financially it has an advantage!

Whatever you do decide though do not let anyone judge you or make you feel your decision was wrong. This is YOUR body and YOUR baby x

@ewms19 my baby does great with 3 bottles at night and breast all day and the hv didn't advise me any differently. I'm only letting you know in case you ever need to do it :)

Really? Thanks for letting me know :)
Its so frustrating that all the HV and midwifes advise differently. I've found that really annoying in the first few weeks with contradicting information

OP do whatever feels best for you.

I am BFing my three month old. The first six weeks were so hard but I was determined and pushed on. I did spend ages on the sofa watching Netflix and eating chocolate. It hurt a lot in the beginning. I also worried that I had fast let down, that she was super windy, had reflux/colic etc.

Since then she has become so much more settled, feeding is so easy and takes 10-15 mins. Her latch is better so barely any wind. And for the last 2-3 weeks she is sleeping 10-6 and then often another hour or two after a feed. I know this may not last after the 4 month sleep regression though.

I love breastfeeding now and am glad I persevered, however I’m sure if I had switched to formula she would still be a lot more settled as I’m sure it’s more to do with getting bigger IYSWIM?

Just seen how old this thread is sorry! OP must have had her baby by now so congratulations and hope it’s all going well