December 2019 babies

[TTc2019BabyNo1]

Hi All,

Thought I’d just start a December 2019 babies thread for those who have given birth in December and want to catchup/chat/rant/need support etc.

We are 11 days in...!
How is everyone doing?

@primarywoodle no DS is my first baby, I have a step son who is 6 so no experience of the newborn baby stage! that totally makes sense though as he sleep does seem to be hit and miss at times.

I’m beginning to notice a bit of a nap pattern it seems to be: short morning nap of 30/40 mins 2 hours after waking up, then a longer lunch time nap around 1-2 hours, then another shorter nap in the afternoon followed by 2 hours awake time then bed at 7:30/8ish.

Yes we’ve started putting him up to bed around 8pmish, like Ash he just doesn’t settle downstairs, wakes frequently and is grumpy so the whole evening is spent resettling him. DS is now 11 weeks. We use a movement sensor mat and video monitor :)

So now I’m freaking out, DP has just said he thinks he has a tiny cold sore in the corner of his mouth - he tells me this after I’ve kissed him today! He said he hasn’t and won’t kiss DS but I’m so worried he has or will forget and kiss him. I’m struggling a bit with anxiety anyway at the minute and this has triggered off another load of worrying!

@primarywoodle - thank you!! It was a planned section and recovery is going much better now we are nearly 8 weeks. First few were very rough! No mental health teams involved yet, health visitor being really supportive and has talked through all the options of support. I work in mental health also so have a good idea of what is out there. I was in denial with my first thst I had pnd, which was the main problem!

I have a sling which comes in very handy when we are out and I need to guarantee he will sleep, like at DS1's swimming lessons or when I need to cook dinner!

I get overwhelmed at all the conflicting advice out there and wonder what the 'right thing' to do is. Such as get into a routine or go with the flow etc etc. Some things say the fourth trimester is where they need alot of comfort and closeness and others say don't let baby sleep on you, teach them to self settle... it's sends my need for routine and control into overdrive!

We have been putting Alex upstairs to bed around 7 or 8 for about a week and find he's so much more settled. He was the same if we kept him downstairs, very unsettled unless sleeping on one of us. We did this with our first too, from about 4 weeks as he was even worse with sleeping day or night! I go up about 9.30/10 to try and get a bit of sleep in before he wakes, just use a video monitor to keep tabs on him. Comforting to hear other babies of a similar age are the same in the evenings!

@forevercurious, that sounds hard to manage especially at night when your trying to get any sleep you can. Have you had or is there support for the anxiety your experiencing? So common when you have a new little person to care for, it's a huge responsibilty. I don't struggle hugely with anxiety in general but having a baby really triggers me, and I tend to question everything which is exhausting.

@MrsHP1986 I completely know how you feel with the conflicting advice and routine stuff! I like order and routine and some days feel we’ve cracked it and then the next day I think not 😂

No I’ve always been an anxious person, especially around health and illness but I’ve never had any support or help for it. It’s getting worse since DS arrived as I just worry about him most of the time. Last night it seemed really bad but today it seems more under control and I’m not as bad. x

Is anyone else not letting their baby sleep past a certain time in the evening so they go to bed -
Is that even a thing at this age I’m so confused! DS had started going down around 8pm for 4/5 hours but now he’s waking up after 50 minutes and waking up everytime he’s put back down. it’s very frustrating so I’m wondering if I shouldn’t be letting him sleep past 6ish and see if that helps? I’m just not sure!

@forevercurious my mum had said the same to me, so a week or so back I started to try and keep my wee one up past 6ish, although he generally never napped anyway. However he has now naturally started to fall asleep a lot earlier now, so I think he wants an earlier bed time. So now me and my husband take turns in going to bed early with him as I don't feel comfortable leaving him on his own just yet.

@Dec19baby ah glad it worked for you, I’m going to give it a try.

We had an awful night last night where he was up every 2 hours at first and then every hour! Random nights like that always throw me as I’m not expecting them so I feel more exhausted I think. However we’re off to our first baby massage class today - I’m hoping it will help with his trapped wind & tummy aches.

I think my lo has started with reflux. Last few days he has been really irritable/crying through his bottles, pushing it away and arching his back while crying loudly. Then he wants to the bottle back and is drinking it ... then it all repeats. It's making me feel awful as he hasn't had a problem previously. I've started to sit him more upright whilst feeding him and have given him a couple of smaller bottles on between so he shouldn't be ravenous come his main bottles... is there anything else I can do or give him to help him?

@jpaws, a friend of mine has a reflux baby, she moved him on to a different formula (I think it's hip comfort or something) and is trying different bottles.

Ladies, please reassure me! Joe is 11 weeks on Thursday (7 weeks corrected) and we're still counting it as a win if he sleeps 3 straight hours in the night. I know this can be normal, apparently my bro was a terrible sleeper, my mum mentions it alot 😂 But I seem to be surrounded by people who's babies of similar age are going through the night pretty much and in laws constantly saying he should be sleeping longer by now. It's getting me down a bit, even when we have a 'good' night, I'm made to feel it's not good enough ☹️

Literally screw what everyone else says!! Every baby is different, don't compare to others, which is harder said than done. My 8 week old is usually good, average is 3 hours. However he's done 5.5 he's at times and then 2 at others. Don't be worrying, and tell the in laws to bog off lol

There's no way all 7 week olds go "through the night"

They seem to forget that their kids either never did sleep as long as they remember, or were left to cry....

I agree that people only remember their baby experiences how they want to. Met up with a friend who’s daughter is 8 now. She was telling me that her daughter slept 8-8 from 9 weeks old, however, I used to go round hers a lot at the weekend evenings and her daughter was 5/6months old and still up when we left at 11pm! So clearly not an 8-8 sleeper but I was too tired to contradict her!

12 weeks today - nighttime sleep is still hit and miss and definitely no where near going through the night. Hope that’s reassuring @Fivebyfive2

Def not more than 3 hours here. Ever.

Anything from every hour to up to 4 hours of sleep here - usually every 2 hours .. CERTAINLY not through the night 😂

Im finding my fitbit so interesting to see when i was awake in the night and the patterns of sleep. Ash has woken at 2.04 exactly every day for the last week! So weird

Hi everyone! Just popping in to say hi now I've got approximately 4 minutes of free time to myself, Charlie is doing 3-4 hour stretches at night but it's only when it suits him so I'll usually have a good night followed by 2 bad nights, I'm currently sleep training my 14 month old too because he's been in my bed since he was 7 months (teething) and didn't have the willpower to put him back,he sleeps through in my bed, but up every half hour in his cot... but now I don't really have the option because they wake each other up and it's a nightmare

@December2019 good luck with the sleep training! That sounds tough. We only get 2-3 hour stretches here too. T sleeps in the bed with me, I know I should be trying to get him into the bedside crib but it’s just easy to feed him and go straight back to sleep right now!

Anyone else having issues with the dummy at night? Lo has a feed and goes to sleep around 8, I offer a dream feed around 10 and he usually has a couple of ounce. He then sleeps till about 2 ish when he whinges for dummy putting back in, I have to put it in a few times before he nods back off (he knocks it out with his hands when settling himself back to sleep). This happens a few times then until he's ready for his next feed between 6 and 7, I've tried offering bottle too in night and he refuse so he's definitely not hungry. Do I persevere with the dummy or get rid? I don't know what the best thing to do is?

@popgoesperfection could you try swaddling him so he can't knock it out with his hands?
Mine does this and the swaddle works wonders it's one of those with the Velcro bits at the sides because he breaks free if I swaddle him in muslin or a blanket lol
He's like baby hulk!

Haha where did you get it from? Could try that because he's the same with blankets, he sleeps in a sleeping bag atm.

@popgoesperfection I got mine from eBay I think I just put in Velcro swaddle it's brilliant

Mines like this but I got a bigger size... I think TK max does them too

My ds has a dummy at night and a muzzy that he holds onto and sort of drapes across his face, he knocks the funny out trying to sort his blanket out sometimes, but he sleeps on his side so it very rarely happens anymore! I sort of plug it in his mouth then put his muzzy over the top so he can't knock it. Swaddling is probably your best bet, or a different shaped dummy that won't fall out easy? My dummies or ball shaped at the end as they are best for breastfeeding to avoid confusion

Thanks @December2019 how old is your little one? I've just ordered a Muslim blanket type teddy from Etsy so was going to try and introduce this for him to sleep with. How old is your lo @bespokepaininthearse ?

@popgoesperfection he's 10 weeks old on Wednesday but he's really long and is about 15lbs already x