October 2019 Babies

[Figuringitout]

Creating a thread for graduates of the October pregnancy thread. Hoping to see some familiar names, but also welcome new ones who want to chat about how their newborns are getting on.
Thought I’d tag a few other people who might want to come over. Feel free to tag others - no offence if I missed people; I have baby brain!
@Frizzy1986 @Em39ma @HJWT @SC0508 @cattaxi @KatnissK @Sw2102 @Positivity86

We are both well thanks @BellaBellaBelle.
Just wanted to say to @Frizzy1986 i had the same issues, my little girl Indy dropped 2 percentile points from 50 to 9 when i was ebf. I was expressing after feeds, then topping her up with the expressed milk. Even then she was barely clinging onto the 9th percentile for ages. After a lot of agonising I finally decided to combi feed at 3 months and she is doing a lot better and I don’t feel chained to the breast-pump anymore. I still feel sad and guilty for not bring able to exclusively bf, but as my hv said i still give her 6-7 bf sessions and only 1 bottle a day, so she is still getting bf benefits and i can spend time with her rather than with the breast pump! We have another weigh-in tomorrow, keeping my fingers crossed she has maintained.

@BellaBellaBelle that's good to know. We have another weigh in this week to see if he is maintaining, which I hope he is.
I'm starting to feel a bit better as well. I think the low mood is slowly passing.
I had my tear clinic yesterday as well and things are healing great down there. She can hardly see any scar tissue which is good news and the muscle tone is good. The midwife who did the checks made me feel really good about myself as well as I still feel damaged.

Hello lady's (and babies 😌) how are we all doing! I struggle to find this thread most of the time and then it will randomly pop up again!

Anyone else's baby going through a leap? Coby is hardly sleeping and with his teeth constantly eating his hand and making himself gag! He is getting 2 middle bottom teeth and one to the right also which is a bit early 🤷🏻‍♀️ honestly I am so exhausted I can hardly function...

I started my diet after Christmas but honestly when I am tired all I want is a good cuppa and lots of chocolate 🥴

Oh lucky me he has just done a 💩

Hello, I know I'm late to the party but can I join? I'm mum to TinyCrunch who was born early October and also SmallCrunch who is now 3.5 years old.

I wanted to ask where everyone's babies are now sleeping? We have a next2me crib in our room at night time and a Moses basket for downstairs in the day/evening, but now Tiny is too big for the basket. Trying to work out if I do all sleep in the next2me or try to get naps in the big cot in her room which she'll move into at some point, so that she gets used to it. I know neither option is ideal for SIDS but I don't really have a downstairs sleep option!

Hi! How is everyone?

Glad to hear things were ok at your last weigh in @Frizzy1986 🙂

Yup @HJWT, definitely a leap here. And we have signs of teething. Getting through so many dribble bibs.
I also find myself scoffing when I’m tired. It’s so hard!

Welcome @CaramelCrunch!
Ds was napping in the pram downstairs and sleeping in bed with me at night. But we’ve just had a big change and moved him into his room. There is a bed in there that I am using at night until he’s older.
It’s early days, but he seems to be getting much better sleep in his cot. He had started to feed every hour when co-sleeping. And was struggling to settle downstairs from about 7pm. We’re working on teaching him to fall asleep independently and it’s going well so far. Trying to use the cot as much as possible for daytime naps too. We have a 4 year old who isn’t very conducive to nap time downstairs!

I hope everyone is ok. I went to see a nursery today in prep for when I go back to work. It’s all going too quickly.

@CaramelCrunch were ever you feel comfortable with it!

After that American lady lost her baby on Christmas I don't know when I will move Coby into his cot I am constantly checking him after reading that 😥

@HJWT well done on starting to eat better. I'm not there yet 😔 I plan to start after our Centre Parcs holiday next week though.

@caramelcrunch welcome. Ds doesn't fit in his basket either so now naps in his cot in our room. He only naps for 30-40 mins at a time at the moment, but my choice is either on me or in the cot unless we are out.

@cattaxi how are you teaching the independent sleeping? At night I try and put ds down awake and hold his hand as otherwise he gets irritable and cries, at nap time I have to rock him and put him down asleep otherwise he'd still be asleep an hour later. At 6 months we plan to get tough as my parents saw a piece on controlled crying that showed it was effective and wasn't traumatic for baby. With dd, sleep was horrific so I hope to do better this time.

@Frizzy1986 ds1 wasn’t the best sleeper, so I totally get you on wanting to try something different. Co- sleeping worked great with him. But this time, side feeding is killing my back & ive been feeling like we’ve been disturbing each other. Ds is a massive wriggler.
I’ve basically been putting him down awake & staying with him while he works it out. It’s taking less time each time. He protested a bit, but not loads. I stroke his face with a comforter sometimes - something I hope he can do himself in time. I’ve not done controlled crying, but I’m not rushing in at every peep. I think the 4 month regression means they need to learn to settle themselves in between sleep cycles. When we co slept, he was reaching straight for the boob. But now he moans for about 1/2 a minute and falls back to sleep. With ds1, I was intervening immediately when he stirred, so he was much older learning to self settle.
It’s very early days, and I’m not expecting miracles. I think he still needs an overnight feed at this age - hence being awake right now! But 1 feed is much more restful for us both than hourly ones. Tonight he was asleep by 7, I dream fed at 10:30 & he’s just feeding now. Hopefully this will get him through until morning. It was liberating to have my evening back. I need to be able to spend time with the teenager, which was mostly why we tried this.
He’s finished his feed now, I bet he won’t go back to sleep now I’ve jinxed it by saying all of that 😂

Thanks all - last night she slept in the big cot for the evening, then I did a dream feed about 10:30 and transferred her to the next2me cot for overnight which seemed to work well. And now we're up for our middle of the night feed (normally do this about 3:30, but she's gone a bit later tonight).

Going to do day time naps in the big cot too if we can but 3.5 yo doesn't make it easy for naps to happen anywhere as she doesn't have a volume switch!

@cattaxi I really need to try. Ours is still waking every 3 hours for a feed. Which means I'm up a few times. I did used to try a dummy, but then his weigh dropped so I always offer a feed and he takes it.
Maybe I need to see what happens if I leave him. Might be a challenge for March as I'm not sure I've got the energy this week and next week we are away so it'll all be out of routine.

@Frizzy1986 I think it’s definitely best to wait until you’ve got the energy & a few days of routine. I am surprised at how quickly it’s worked here. We didn’t have much crying. Just a bit of whinging.
I’ve just popped him down for his 1st nap and left the room to see what happened. He chatted to himself for a bit, then drifted off. As with anything baby related, it could all change tomorrow, but I’m calling it a win for now!
It’s going to be much easier to get stuff done without disturbing him now.

Hey how's everyone doing?

Looking for some suggestions on what travel cots everyone has found best?
We have a holiday coming up in April and need one for 4 nights but all the reviews say mattress ain't good and don't want DS to be uncomfortable for 4 nights 😀

Iv been very lucky with Coby's sleep! The other day he hardly napped and slept 6.30pm - 3.30am! 9 HOURS 🤯
His sleep is terrible though when his teeth are coming through!

@SC0508 Buy a cheap travel cot and an extra mattress x

@SC0508 I think all travel cots are the same with regards to mattresses. It's just a hard base. But ds seems OK on it as it doesn't bother him at all. Our issue is more that he's completely out of routine and my diet means he's gassy which isn't helping.

Hey, bit late to this thread but I’m new to this. How is everyone getting on?

I have been struggling a little. I seem to be very up and down.

The little man is going through a bit of a fussy stage. Last month he would lay and play but now he rolls he is not enjoying playing. Anyone found this?

Hi @DonnaL87
Sorry to hear you are struggling.

I think this is definitely one if the hardest periods with a baby. They go through some major changes at this age in terms of their sleep and development. Google the 4 month sleep regression & also maybe have a look at the wonder weeks. Both might offer a but if insight into why your little dude isn’t quite right. I find that knowing what’s going on with them developmentally helps me understand and tolerate the fussy times a bit better.
My ds has has had loads of colds too, so been pretty clingy.

It’s hard and feeling up and down isn’t unusual. Do you have good support? Are you able to get any breaks / catch up on sleep?
I hope you are doing ok. Post more if you want to chat 🙂

@cattaxi Thanks for responding. I do have support but sometimes feel they don’t quite understand as they haven’t been through it. But they do help out in other ways. I was going through a bit of a stage of doing it all myself and I think it’s all come to a head again so I need to learn to take support even if it’s knocks him off his wee routine. I did read about the wonder weeks and it did fall in nicely but the longer it lasts I’m like what is going on. I think I need to just be patience and hopefully it will pass.

How is your little one getting on?

Have a look at the wonder week app. This leap has been really long - about 35 days. I think we have about 4 days left. It’s been spot on with the others, so hopefully this fussy patch will be over soon!

Our ds is doing great. But has definitely been more tricky / fussy over the past month or so. He’s throwing us curveballs in that he is so different to his older brother. Every day is a learning curve! We had been co-sleeping. But all of a sudden he got quite unsettled. So we’ve moved him into his own room (I’m sleeping in with him) and he’s much better. I’m Still feeding him, but he’s getting on well with the odd bottle, which is a big relief as ds1 was a total bottle refuser.

You definitely need to take that help where you can. It’s so easy to end up taking it all on yourself. But your baby needs you to be ok, so get that rest / break when you can and he will be just fine. Don’t worry too much about routine, I think they’re pretty adaptable at this stage. The thing I find most helpful is working out how long he can be awake for. Ds can only do about 1.5-2 hours. Otherwise he gets overtired. And in the morning, it’s usually only about 1 hour. I find putting him down for a nap as a son as he shows signs of being tired helps. It’s kind of counter intuitive in a way as I’m always tempted to wait until he’s properly tired, but he sleeps much better if he goes down before he’s overtired. Most days now he has 3 naps, but sometimes it’s 4.

I don’t think the weather over the past few months has helped. It’s so hard to get out and about in the wind & rain! I find I always feel a bit better for a good walk. And daylight is good for the babies.

Have you got any nice plans for the weekend? Do you have a partner or other kids around? I find trying to plan something nice at the weekend helps beak up the daily grind!

Is it two boys you have. When was ur recent born? How are u finding his sleep, does he get up often through the night?

I am bottle feeding but my little one just doesn’t like feeding. If he is tired he will take the full bottle but he needs to be tired otherwise he won’t take much which can be really tough as I worry he isn’t getting enough. People say they will let u know if they are hungry but I just worry. Today hasn’t been great. He has only had 14 oz all day as we have been out and about but he isn’t crying for a bottle. He does take a dummy and will happily suck on that but as soon as I put a bottle in he cries if he isn’t tired. How did u cope with your first one, or was he breastfeeding aswell?

I know the weather hasn’t been great. I hope to get out more when it’s a bit drier!

This is my first child so everything all very new. My husband is working the weekend so just going to visit my niece probably. What about you, any nice plans for the weekend?

Thanks for the all the advice and kind words!

It’s hard @Dee887 with your first. I was such an over thinker with ds1!
We have 2 boys - ds1 is 4 and ds2 was born on 14/10. We also have a teenage girl who lives with us. She is not ours, so we didn’t go through the baby stage with her. The teenage stage is also a whole new learning experience!

I don’t know much about bottle feeding, as both mine have been breastfed. I do remember ds1 losing a bit of interest in feeding when he was this age as he was so nosy & didn’t want to stop looking around. He fed a lot at night to make up for it!
Is your little one following his weight centile ok? I think that’s the main indicator, especially with a bottle fed baby. Can you talk to your health visitor about your worries? They usually have some good advice about feeding.

My little one isn’t too bad at night. He usually has about 2 feeds. But has been a bit fussy from about 4am a few days this week, which hasn’t been fun! He’s really found his voice & was practicing his noises very loudly at about 5am this morning!

We’re going to try to get out for some fresh air this weekend if the weather allows. Ds1 is so energetic - needs a good walk otherwise he’s climbing the walls!

I’ll keep checking in if you want to chat. I found the support I had here so valuable the first time around x

My little sister is going through the teenager stage and I can imagine it’s a different ball game. I keep trying to tell myself it will get better but it’s so tough.

Yea he is putting on weight etc and I try tell myself not to worry but everytime he takes maybe half an oz bottle the worry starts again as he can last hours on end. HV says he is fine as putting on weight fine so not to worry but when you go through 6 feeds and only 1 or 2 have went well you just worry. If he’s on a good amount for the day I worry less but yesterday he had such a low amount for his age, 20oz when recommended is 35oz. I’m constantly worried has been peed enough etc.

Yea our little one has starting doing a little chatting to himself after his night feeds.

Thanks for chatting! I have downloaded the wonder weeks app. We are due for a sunny spell next week. Fingers crossed.

I’m looking forward to that sunny spell next week too!

How have you been this weekend? I know it’s easy to say, but you don’t need to worry if he’s putting on weight ok. Maybe he’s just a little snacker? Have you tried offering a smaller bottle more often?
I think the worry is a natural part of becoming a mum. It does ease off, but never fully goes away! There is pretty much always something to worry about as they grow. Today I’ve been worried that the teenager seems moody, the 4 year old hasn’t practiced his reading and the 4 month old hadn’t had enough tummy time in the middle of the big family chaos! Being a mum is a worrysome job!

We’ve finally seen some sunshine this weekend & it’s been nice to be able to get some air. I’m just enjoying a quick 10 minutes peace while the baby naps and everyone else is occupied. Chaos will resume any minute, I expect! I hope you’re having a nice weekend x

I am been a bit better, thanks! I’m not too sure what it is. He won’t take smaller amounts more often. He can last hours on 2oz. Not quite sure how! I am trying to not worry and if he takes a decent amount then I’m ok but he doesn’t then the worry creeps back in.

Yes I managed to get out a wee walk on both days :) and got out and about a wee bit and also got some me time. I think it will just take time.

Hope you had a lovely weekend and thanks very much for your messages. They have really helped.

I know the worry will be forever.

Is your little one teething?

Hi @Dee123456 try not to worry yourself. If he is tracking his weight percentile then he is getting what he needs. I know it’s easier said than done. I had a full on meltdown across the Xmas period as ds dropped from 75th to 25th and stopped feeding well so I was beside myself. He is now happily tracking the 25th so I’ve decided that I must grow big babies who don’t want to be big when they are born if that makes sense.
Ds is 5 months today and is easily distracted during feeds. He tends to snack and take 5 mins every 2.5 to 3 hours and then at night he feeds at the same intervals but will feed for 30 mins sometimes more. He is breastfed so cant directly compare to what you are going through though.

If you are worried and feeling stressed/low about it, definitely contact your health visitor. They can not only provide reassurance but also help you to monitor your mood.

It’s natural to feel worried as a mum. Ds is my second as I have dd who is 6 but although I worry less about some things, I seem to worry more about others. It’s just because you love him and want what’s best and that’s great.
Dd is a whole different worry point especially as now I worry that I don’t spend enough time with her.

@cattaxi 5am for you as well. Ds seems to be waking at 5am every day for a feed and then refuses to settle before waking up completely and chatting away at the top of his voice.
It’s infuriating but adorable. He still feeds every 2.5 - 3hrs on average a night and sometimes gets really gassy so is hard to settle. I keep reminding myself that this is the norm and it’s the babies who sleep that are the anomaly.
He only naps for 30mins in his cot as well and I have to rock him to get him to nap. Again, I try not to worry as it’s better than what I went through with dd.