The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #3

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 3 mamas

@Brobot Just popped on to say I had exactly the same when DD was 3 months old. She had started sleeping through the night, I was BFing and my periods returned. Yes, I was sleep deprived but I've never experienced sadness/depression like it. I just wanted to hide from the world and even wanted to give DD away. It was awful. When my next period came along the black mist wasn't so thick. I suspect you are going through the same thing. Your hormones are attempting to return to normal. One of the many cons of BFing for any amount of time. Hang on in there, talk to your GP, ask for support from loved ones, bear in mind that this will pass

@Brobot hope it is just your period returning and that you get back to normal soon ! Being a parent is hard enough without all the added hormone madness

@hidcat my LO is also constipated . I've tried everything but nothing seems to work . She does pass but they are quite hard and she cries each time

Sleeping no better on my end. Rose has been in her own room from weekend . Still wakes around 8 times a night. Went to a breast feeding support group yesterday and they said to carry on following her lead and that it is all normal so no trying to night wean her or anything just to do what she wants and that it will pass . Wahhhhhh I'm a walking zombie

@brobot sorry to hear you're struggling and echo the sentiments of everyone else - have you spoken to your GP or HV? However, well done on acknowledging that you have PND as that takes strength and a lot of people sadly suffer in silence, so even if you don't feel like an amazing person right now, you'll have made another person on this thread think about their own situation and hopefully get help too.

@hidcat I'm probs stating the obvious but have you tried prunes? We had a real mess with poos (ie: there was none or they were really really hard meaning he'd been straining for days to push them out) when we started solids and he also got to the point of refusing food as he was so full of poo. We ended up stripping it back to basics and doing a puree of one fruit/veg at a time for a few weeks. I also massage his tummy and bum (with wipes) when he's done a poo and give the bum hole a bit of an airing/stretch as that also seems to get more poo out. We're now about 6/7 weeks in and doing slightly better on the poo front, and we're trying to give him prunes once a day to keep the poo on the runnier side.

@jenlou1992 interesting advice from the breast feeding group!! I don't think they DO need feeding upto 8 times a night at this age tbh... I usually do twice a night between 11pm-6:30am, and then once when he wakes up at around 7/7.15am. He definitely wakes up more often though - probably another 3 times, maybe? But I deliberately don't feed him then even though that's the easier thing to do/what I want to do when I just want to go to bed myself. It's a lot easier for me though as my husband goes up sometimes too and obviously doesn't have breasts... will she take a dummy at all? Mine also seems to be really clingy at the moment and wakes up to see where we are (apparently this is a thing at 28/30 weeks) so I've also started putting my hand firmly on his tummy to show him I'm there (whilst lying under the cot so he can't actually see me) until he's asleep again. This is how we taught him to self settle when he was younger so I'm hoping that once this clingy phase has passed that he relearns how to do it.

We also went to a weaning talk today with the HV team and they said that if babies are still waking up loads in the night for food it means that they're not getting enough solid food in the day - how is that going? We think ours is probably not getting enough solid food in the day as he's too full of milk and then at night thinks "oooh I'm hungry!!" so wants to eat then too even though he's dropped feeds in the day.

@cardboard33 I do agree with you and I don't think she needs feeding all them wake ups but they said they don't just feed for food it's for comfort and teething and growth spurts etc I was kind of hoping they would say oh you must be strict and just settle her without the boob and then she will learn to sleep without all then feeds but she didn't and I feel I now have to just feed her .. She used to settle with the dummy but now she doesn't . Although I literally don't give enough time to try settle her without offering the boob pretty much straight away as I am so knackered I just want to get her to sleep as quickly as possible.

She also suggested to get rose back in my room to make my life easier. As much as I would love to have her with me I feel that could be a step backwards and then I may struggle to get her back in her own room

Solids are going well for me I think . I offer 3 meals and she takes a fair bit each time . And she hasn't dropped any milk feeds in the day so I can't see her needing the extra calories at night . She is getting more than ever .

It's so hard because I just want to do the right thing . So much conflicting advice etc and I don't want to scar my baby in the long run by not meeting her needs ..just want to be the best I can be ..even if I'm not sure what that is .

Mainly worried about when I go back to work as I will be on nights. Not till January but if she is still like this it's going to be hell on earth

@Brobot I didn't have PND but when DS1 was 10 months I suddenly became incredibly depressed and angry. I just felt like I hated everyone. I was on holiday with family and I was so unhappy - I remember crying to my MIL saying I felt awful. My period returned within a couple of weeks and suddenly I understood why I had felt so bad! Depression came back the second cycle, but less intensely, and then after that I was all right. Hopefully the same will happen for you.

@Jenlou1992 ugh sounds hideous. J is waking several times a night at the moment - having two bottle feeds with sometimes hourly wake ups in between. I don't tend to get more than 2.5 hrs at a stretch and I feel sick with tiredness so you must be wrung out beyond belief. I think with us it is a combination of teeth and hunger. Can your partner or mum take Rose during the day on Sat and Sun? If so, get to Friday and then spend the extra time at night trying to get her to settle with something other than feeding - try the dummy again, or maybe a white noise app on your phone. Then get your sleep during the day. You can't keep going on so little. I find that it's not only the lack of sleep that is painful, it's also the insane nightmares I have with interrupted sleep that leave me feeling even more unsettled. Big sympathy to you.

@Cardboard33 I've been a bit slack with the solids because it takes so much time. I really need to get my act together as he is 7 months next week. Mostly I've just been handing him whatever carb I'm eating (he got a bit of peshwari naan yesterday lunch and was thrilled) and a couple of bits of sliced or mashed veg which he sucks and then throws on the floor. Breadsticks or fingers of toast are a guaranteed win but that's it really. I think I need to start pureeing fruit and veg so that he actually gets some stuff into him and fills up. He's on 5 x 210ml formula bottles a day plus 1 x 180ml breast milk. I'm aware this is an awful lot compared to the chart on the formula packet, but he's over 1kg bigger than the weight they suggest for a 6 month old and he is quite a big baby - I've had to put him in 9-12 month clothes this week as I couldn't do the poppers up any more on the 6-9 months, and his little feet were all squished up in the babygrows.

Today I watched J roll onto his front on the changing mat, get up onto his knees, and then push himself up to sitting. I was torn between being proud and horrified. I'm not ready for him to be able to do this! We need to drop the cot level down in the next few days before he starts realising he can do it all the time. Arrrgggggghhhhh!

Oh yes I meant to ask:

1. What solid food is everyone's babies enjoying? I need inspiration!

1. What games are your babies enjoying? J loves the Things In A Basket game, in which I put things in a basket and he takes them out and chews them. He also likes me blowing bubbles at him, and does lots of reaching out for them and popping the ones that sit on the carpet. He's a fan of Row Row Row The Boat - he puts his little hands up ready to hold mine now if I ask him if he wants to 'row row'. So cute. He also likes swimming, but that is a faff, so I hit on the notion yesterday of running a bath in the middle of the day and getting in with him. He loved it and I got chance to have a wash - win!

@Jenlou1992 @BadBadBeans thank you for telling me that, because I really have been thinking I've been on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I feel ever so slightly better today so hopefully it's passing. I don't think I would have breastfed if I knew this was coming, which may sound selfish, but I've been completely useless for 2 weeks now. I could barely walk the length of myself let alone lug Elliot around.

If it's any consolation to those who are having chaotic nights, we are the same. We've completely regressed with the night time feedings and needs the boob to get back to sleep each time. His wee gums are killing him. We have 3 teeth (only one has fully broken through and the other 2 are just poking). Sometimes I look and see them and then later I will look again and they seem to have gone back in a bit lol. I thought I was imagining it until my husband said the same!

@Sheeni I'd read something similar and did put Vaseline on her bum yesterday. @Wineandchoccy she's happy in the bath but was still holding it in afterwards bless her. I've been feeding her fruit pots and she's had some cabbage and I had some baby Movicol from DS having a similar problem which was still in date so put a small amount in some yoghurt last night. Well dear God she's been a poop factory all day! Had 3 gold ball sized play dough consistency pops this morning, two big poosplosions at my MIL's today and then 3 more golf ball sized play dough consistency ones tonight. She's back on the milk and eating like a horse! Hopefully she'll settle into a better poop rhythm now but I'm making sure she has plenty of fruit to try to avoid it again. @Cardboard33 I've not been able to find prunes but I did spot some in a local shop today so may stock up for next time. I hope your little man is doing ok with his.

@BadBadBeans that's fantastic that he's bringing himself to sitting! Slightly scary also 😂 We also have a row row your boat lover and also blowing raspberries on her tummy. She loves eating Avocado, fruit purées, petit filous and of course chocolate. She's also a massive fan of chips. By far her favourite is mashed up roast dinner though.

@fingers crossed you're on the up now.

@hidcat glad Melissa is doing better!! Do you have an Aldi near you? That's where I got our (dried) prunes from, then just boil a few with a bit of water to make it into a puree. I've not really seen any elsewhere, other than tinned ones. They were sub £2 for 500g too so decently priced given he only has about 15g a time.

@Hidcat I'm glad something finally worked. We're also struggling with constipation here. Had two small slug-like poos three days ago. And he's on Lactulose, so should be pooping nicely. I'll see if I can get Movicol, as he's been really bad since we started solids.
We get the prune puree pouches as it's easiest, but will make our own pear puree which should work well, too.

@Hidcat Also, if you want to make your own and prefer to do organic for baby, you can get organic prunes in Holland & Barrett's.

How is everyone doing ?

@Jenlou1992 how are things with you? Any luck on the sleeping front?

LO turned 7 months on Friday and for the past two weeks his sleep has just gone absolutely terrible. I know some of you are suffering much worse with this so I do apologise but I just have no idea what has happened. I count myself very lucky that he previously slept from 7pm, dream feed at 10:30pm then to 6-7am so I know I sound ungrateful but the past few weeks he has been banging his legs none stop on the crib, whinging for his dummy then spitting it out, scratching the mesh of the crib and just generally being disruptive. Started at 4:30am and would go on til he woke in the morning properly, with me putting his dummy in and out and holding his hands. Then started getting earlier and earlier and last night it was 2:30am and just continued all throughout the night.

Does anyone have any thoughts on the sudden wake ups?? I know others have this all the time and my god I feel for you!! DP used to occasionally have to work away overnight but now due to brexit he is being sent all over to sort things out beforehand and has been away pretty much constantly for the past two months with small stints at home inbetween. He's now in N.Ireland until Friday and I feel so lonely and exhausted with it.

Wondering if it's to do with starting weaning but we've been doing that since 6m. My main thought is that he is far too small for the snuzpod now and just cant stretch out. He is in his cot in his room for day naps and first part of the night. He was supposed to go in there overnight a few weeks ago but the heating isn't working and the landlord is dragging his heels on it. His room is freezing overnight so not suitable for the early hours otherwise he would be in there. Thankfully it seems like they are sorting it on Wednesday so I'm hoping he will be happier in his cot overnight. Hes 75th percentile height wise so really not ideal for him to be in the crib still.

In other news, weaning is going well. We're still doing baby led and hes getting more confident all the time, as am I.

@Brobot i do hope you start to feel better once your period hits. I've suffered from anxiety generally for a few years but I actually feel like I may be depressed too. The other night I could have quite happily smashed my face into the wall, I was so down about my anxiety. Its hand washing and its actually ruining my life, I dont think I'm exaggerating. I get so angry with myself and so upset, I feel like I'm not in control and if LO is in bed I can easily wash my hands for 30mins in a row and feel like I'm 'stuck'. Then I get angry at myself and then upset.

Hope everyone is ok. I'm sorry for the essay. Sometimes it helps to just get it all out there.

@melissa112 no change here with the sleeping except I have moved her back in my room in the crib just to make my life easier . Still wakes every 60-90 mins. Saw HV today and she said it could be teething or Brian development and learning new skills etc . I can honestly say the minute I came to terms with the fact that this is my baby and this is her sleep and she wakes 10x a night because she needs to then I was much happier . I kept trying to find an answer and wishing she would sleep through and getting stressed on the 5th plus wake up but now I just accept that she needs me and I'm happy to be there for her even if I am exhausted and I honestly deal with it so much better. She has always been on the poorer side when it comes to sleeping so I can imagine it's a massive shock for you to now be awake in the early hours. Just know that it is a phase and it will pass . Don't stress yourself trying to fix it or wonder what's wrong .

It could be that the crib is too small but you will soon find out when your heating is fixed. I know it's hard but it's even harder when your worked up . There are so many expectations for babies to sleep through and stay like that but they have so much going on that sometimes when they are overwhelmed learning new skills then they can have frequent wake ups .

I really hope it settles sooner rather than later for you . And remember it won't last it's just a phase xx

@melissa112 We've had worse sleep for a couple of weeks too - i think it is teeth in our case. This evening J went to bed at 7pm but woke up crying at 8.45pm and then didn't settle until 11.20pm. That was after a dose of Calpol. But yes he is also probably pissed off if he can't stretch out! You don't have a travel cot you could use in your room instead while you're waiting on the heating? I am sorry to hear the anxiety is so bad. I know you did the online course but could you go back to the GP and ask to be referred for one to one therapy? If it is impacting on your ability to do every day tasks then it needs addressing sooner rather than later. You know you have my sympathy xx

@Jenlou1992 what you say about accepting the situation rings so true. I remember with DS1 when he was quite old (15 or 16 months I think) he was still waking at 3am every night for a feed and I was killing myself trying to eliminate the feed. Once I just accepted he needed it, I didn't mind waking up so much. I realise your sleep situation is much worse than that but I'm glad you are coping with it. I admire you!

We have turned a corner here with eating and he has suddenly started actually taking on a reasonable quantity of food. He was 7 months yesterday so it's taken a month of trying. Managed to get him to drop a bottle as well. In mobility news, I can't remember if I've already said this but I watched him get from lying down to sitting up four days ago. He's not repeated it but he's alo starting to get himself onto his knees and wobble back and forth so I imagine he'll be crawling in a month's time. The house is so far from baby proofed it is ridiculous. How I'm going to train my 3 year old not to leave choking hazards strewn everywhere I have no idea!

@Jenlou1992 I couldn't imagine all the wake ups and having to go into another room to do them so I think you've done the right thing to move her back in with you. As @BadBadBeans says, I admire you for coping so well with it. Is your husband back at home now full time? I cant remember if you said you expressed and whether he could take a feed with a bottle?

@BadBadBeans that's great that J is eating so well, did you say you are doing a mix of puree and solids? I must admit I didnt catch up on the thread yet so I missed your posting about J sitting up on his own! That's amazing, how did he manage it? G keeps trying but he tries from either front on, so as if hes trying to do a sit up to fully get up which we know wont work but he doesnt. Now hes trying from the side. He is commando crawling around the room now at some speed and we've had to baby proof but not proper crawling. He gets up on all fours too and rocks but hasn't worked out the next step. He did come to find me in the kitchen when was making his bottle last night which shocked me and made me laugh. Before now he had kept to the rug area where all his toys are. So looks like I'm gonna need a baby gate. I think you're probably right about the crib when I look at him. Last night he started at 3am. I do keep meaning to buy a travel cot as we are going away in 2 weeks but cant decide on one. I think I over research to the point where I doubt everything

I will go to the GP, you're right, it is impacting my life quite heavily now. I dread anything that means I have to wash my hands because I know I could potentially get stuck there ages thinking I've touched the back of the sink (and therefore germs I've already washed off before) etc. Have any of Js teeth come through yet? We keep getting one red and warm cheek for weeks on and off with him looking a bit miserable then nothing happens really.

@BadBadBeans ou and I'm with you on the choking hazards! DP bought a bag of pistachios and I'm hoping he forgets about them while he is in Ireland as in paranoid he will drop one on the floor and I'll not see it somehow!

We have a commando crawler here, too. It's too early 😱 He's starting to lift his bottom more and more, too.
He's also started with the dadada, bababa sounds. Finally! I was a bit embarrassed, as I was worrying why he hasn't started with that yet. Then we left him alone with my mother in law for 20 minutes and the communication floodgates just opened.
Turns out that because I followed the advice of talking to baby constantly about what I'm doing etc, I just never left him to get a word in!

So I just googled "commando crawling" and repacked that that's what I've been meaning when I've been telling people that Sonny spins round like The Exorcist. Commando crawling sounds far cuter ha. Sonny is rapid with it. He gets on all fours now and moves his arms and one leg but hasn't clocked yet that if he moves his other leg he'll move somewhere.

Eating is going fairly well. He won't eat on his own so we're still doing purées but obviously lumpier ones. He's not great with meat but gonna try and just add it bit by bit hidden by veg! Are there any other vegetarians on here with advice on how to add meat into food? I would love him to be veggie but I think he needs to make that decision himself when he's older but I've never eaten meat so I'm at a loss really here ha

Realised. Not repacked!

Ok all your posts are starting to worry me as Elliot is not nearly as mobile and he is one of the oldest babies in here! He sits up and plays but when he's had enough he'll fling back and just lie there until he is rescued lol. I keep trying to encourage him to lean forward on his hands to reach things so that he can see what it leads to, but he isn't that strong with his arms so he uses his legs to hold himself in place and his arms don't get strengthened. I'll have to stop fetching everything for him, which I know I shouldn't do, but when he reaches too far he falls and we are back to "tortoise on its back" situation lol.

We are also struggling with sleep more and also think it's his teeth. He still doesn't have a tooth and is now the only toothless baby from our NCT group even though he's the second oldest. @Brobot ours are days apart birth age wise and mine also isn't on the move to the extent that the others are describing. He rolls onto his front constantly and then just flaps his legs/arms crying to be rescued whilst failing to do a downward dog movement. It is v frustrating for him. However he can stand up with minimal support, so they're just all different. I wouldn't worry and in many ways it's better not having a mobile baby.

@WhatALearningCurve I'm veggie (husband isn't) and we've been using the Annabelle Karmel recipies for stew, curry etc. They make a reasonable amount so I've never actually prepped meat myself yet. We started out with mince as it doesn't require much prep other than dumping it in and it's already in baby sized bits. Like you, I don't want to raise him veggie as I don't want him to grow up going to kids parties asking if he can eat xyz.

@melissa112 also think George might be too tall for the snuz pod as he sounds like he's similar height wise to mine and we moved him on from the next to me just before he was 6 months as it was getting too small. Could you buy a travel cot second hand or borrow one, as if you're only using it for a short while you could just do without the mattress as they're quite flimsy anyway. There's always loads in the charity shops here.

@jenlou1992 glad you've found peace within yourself even though it's not the kind of restful peace you were hoping for!!

@ Brobot dd1 didn’t crawl until she was over 1 in fact if I sat her on a rug or play mat she wouldn’t leave the boundary trust me at 4 1/2 she certainly moves now. She was a right chatter box though where Lois is the other way very very quiet but moves a lot so try and not worry I think their brains work on 1 skill at a time

I’m so tired she was up 4 times last night zzzzz