The May 2007 Postnatal dilemma- 40 winks or 40 situps

[BefSnork]

thanks to soh/gw for the title

Evening all

Dh came home from work early last night full of apologies for being a miserable git. As I said to him, just because he is in a bad mood it doesnt mean he can take it out on everyone around him. He has been trying his hardest to make it up to us today but then his car went and failed its MOT, nothing major just the emissions but it was enough to put him back into a foul mood for a while. Luckily this time he just moaned about the stupid car and didnt take it out on us!!

LiLaura hope you are ok, whatever the reasons behind kicking (not so)Dh out remember we are all here for you if you want to talk. {{hugs}}

I remember when i split up with ds1's dad i went out and had a total makeover to cheer myself up (couldnt do the redecorating thing because i had to move back home)Im sure you will find decorating to be very theraputic (sp?, brain not working)

Im supposed to be ironing right now, getting things ready for our weekend away but i just have no go in me at the moment, cant be bothered to do anything. The way i figure it I have a whole day tomorrow to pack and tidy up so why knacker myself out tonight Im sure i will regret my decision tomorrow when im running around like a headless chicken trying to do ten things at once lol but never mind. I think i will now go and play bingo online to see if i can win any money (managed to win £70 the other night on the slots so you never know)

Hope you all get a nice long sleep and all the babies behave themelves

Oh well I didnt win anything now off to bed, just remembered ds1 has football at 9am and he went to bed without getting his kit ready so i need to make sure he is up nice and early lol

Night all

aww thanks for all the hugs and kind thoughts all ill explaim tmrw going to have long soak in bath

lillaura, I cam across your thread the other night, I hope you are all doing ok.

Just found the best thread about the maxi cosi car seat did you all know it has magic shoulder strap things which pin them out the way - think in future I should perhaps read instructions.

Had a fab night last night some friends whom I knew in the states and who have been travelling for the last 6 months came over for dinner, poor Archie got sent to bed very early with the promise of extra boob later if he went to sleep, so I could get stuck into the laughter.

TYG thanks for all the sleep advice I think A is begining to understand daytime naps he is at the mo not sleeping but chatting to the ceiling in his cot - first time he has done this during the day normally screams the house down. Hope I have not jinxed it,

Have a great day everyone.

thanks JW - all good here feeling a bit pestered by him at mo but not in a nasty sense just keeps asking me to give him another chnce but he wont listen - as time goes by he will get the idea i hope

Morning all,

Wrote a lovel ,ong post to everyone last nihgt, then lost it, so gave it up as a bad job and went to bed..

My back is ruddy awful today, if its not one thing its another so L has gone off to our friend from her antenatal class for the day,(which is lovely of the Mum I must say!) and M and I are hanging out in bed for a bit before I attempt to get up and stretch it out a tad..

DH passed all his exams..(the accountancy ones he was doing when M was due), so he has cheered up no end..I am so pleased as if he had failed them it would've been such a waste of lots of hard graft!(And he would have been in mean mood for weeks!)

Bad news is that he will stat college again on alternate Saturdays, then 3 nights a week till October...so it'll be just me and my little ladies..

Where is your weekend away Pebble?

And how long are you in France for TYG?11 degrees?Do you want to borrow any of L's old winter clothes for A?She was a winter baby at the equivalent age so ive loads..dont want A to get a chill in the mountain air!Ruddy weather...

Big wave to all..

Thank you Scoot. I was being a tad dramatic. The long range forecast is better. It's really cold today and tomorrow but apart from some showers, the outlook is good. Around 22 degrees. Hurrah.

Absolutely wonderful news about DH passing his exams, Scoot. I'm thrilled for you all - after all his hard work! What does he need to study for now? Will he be staying with his current employer for a while longer? What was that you were saying about the house? Last I heard I thought your buyers had dropped out. Are you moving to the house you mentioned before?

I can't believe it this morning. A was playing in her bouncer and looked a bit fed up, so I removed the toys so she could wind down. She started sucking her fingers and dozed off when I wasn't looking. Miracle, sez I, it's a one off. She's only gone and done it again just now. Playing with the toys one minute, then just fell asleep. Please God, she's getting the hang of going to sleep when she's tired. Then all I have to do is move naps to cot or buggy when we're out and about and I'm sorted. Yay! (You just know, now that I've said that, that she'll never ever do this again...)

Cam, Thank you for your text message yesterday. It was such a busy day I didn't get round to checking my phone until this morning. xxx

TYG-DH has another two sets of exams to go which if he passes he will become a qualified management accountant...they pay him 2k more for eac set and have said when he qualifies he will be promoted again to chief Big Macist...which is all good news-only about another year of having to clear out of the house whilst he revises etc..he got 82 per cent for one as well(proud wifey emoticon), which considering he had a baby due at the time and a toddler and a mahussive wife at the time is not bad going..

Well done A on the sleep..lets hope she carries on.L did that only once so she is already one up on her..M does it quite a bit which leads me to believe she may not actually be my child...am waiting for her to go all Lily on me, so far so good, touch wood..
How is S with the baby?Does she change nappies etc or does leave you to that part?

Still has squits though...we are on our 6th nappy today..but she is back on normal wipes..Olay ones are only for special occasions...

Scoot we are going to Camber Sands near Hastings, its only down the road, about 2hrs max so ideal for first proper trip with Alana. This weekend is like a trial run for when we go to Spain in October. The same people who are going there with us are coming away this weekend too so we will see how we all get on. There are 15 of us (7 of them kids), poor pontins wont know whats hit them lol

We are hoping it will be a cheap weekend, it was a bit of a last minute decision to go so no one has lots of money to spare. We are taking our own food, are taking plenty of drinks for the children and beach toys to amuse them and hopefully the weather is going to be so nice we can spend plenty of time on the beach or in the pool

I knew it was a mistake not doing the ironing last night, ds1 and dh seem to have given me their whole wardrobes to iron because they dont know what they want to take Sometimes men are worse than women!! And to make things harder Ive got ds2 in and out wanting drinks, ice creams etc and Alana has decided that she doesnt want to sleep any longer than 10mins today. Im sure i will get there in the end, if i dont throw the iron out of the window first.

I HATE IRONING!!!!!!

Hey all - I need some advice.

Tilda is proving to be a nightmare to get to sleep at night. I did 2 nights where I stood next to her popping her dummy back every time she spat it out and she screamed for an hour. Decided I can't do that so looking for another way to get her to know it's bedtime. As soon as I pick her up she stops screaming and will happily go to sleep in my arms. Soon as I put her down she wakes up and screams again. When she does finally go to sleep exhausted she sleeps for about 8-9 hours and then wakes up all chirpy and ready for a feed.

How the hell do I get her to go to sleep by herself??

We do a bath, then feed in the dark (ish) as our curtains are crap. All nice and quiet and restful. Doesn't seem to be making a difference. It's driving me mental

Hi Tam, how old is Tilda?

I too hate ironing, thus I dont do it unless its for work clothes or something is REALLY creased...My mother goes mental at me every time she sees me putting my washing away unironed but I care not..she even irons pants-what a waste of a life..

Lily was much the same Tam...I had had it eventually by 16 weeks or so and put her down in her basket and let her cry for half an hour or so..she went off in the end,(it seemed like about 6 hours at the time, it was horrid listening to her)and therafter she went down very well until she had a relapse at about 10 months old briefly...
Im not a huge fan of controlled crying but Lily never slept in the daytime either and I literally could not put her down for more than 5 mins, so desperate times called for desperate measures....
So I wouldnt do that way until you are begging for mercy!(no help, sorry)

Maybe get some curtain linings though?Or black out blind..think the light can make all the difference to some babies..

Big hello BTW!

My CM is off to where you are going tomorrow Pebble..It looked really nice..Have a lovely time if I dont speak to you before...nothing nicer than kids playing on a beach IMO!Love a bucket and Spade hol..

Just looked at BA Thread - so she is 11weeks..... By 9 weeks they understand a routine. I know that it isnt everyones cup of tea but i am a fan of Controlled Crying. We didnt start it with Jack until he was about 10mths and only wish we had done it sooner. We do the CC on Ella when it is needed and she seems to have gotten the hang of it.

Do your bed time routine as normal and place her in her bed and leave the room and close the door. Wait for 1 minute (this will seem the longest minute ever btw) and then go back in and settle her back down. Once she has calmed down place her back in her bed and walk out ect. Wait for 2mins and keep repeating the routine but each time you leave the room wait for an additional minute. It can take upto and hour (sometimes longer) on the first night and if you are like me you will feel like the nastiest mummy around. She will eventually fall asleep - you need to be fully determined for it to work. Then reapeat this each night but perhaps wait 2mins instead of 1 and gradually build it up. The 2nd night should take less time for her to settle and so the 3rd 4th etc. I think you should have it cracked in a week. Jack now understands the routine and although doesnt like it much knows that we arent going to give in. Ella seems to have gotten the hang of it really quickly, and i even use it during the day. I dont want her to be like Jack was and expect to be picked up everytime she crys. As a result she has found her thumb and after a minute will pop it in her mouth. I know that dummies are easier to take away but at least she can pop the thumb in herself.

I know this probably makes me sound cruel, but if you knew the nightmare we have had with Jack then you will understand why i have had to get ground in place.

Hope that might be helpful to you x

evening all, echo what AM says Tam, DD wouldn't go to sleep for the first 6 months of her life without a booby in her mouth or being rocked to sleep, it drove me mental. I eventually CC'd her to sleep, exactly in the way AM has described, and in 5 days she was sorted. With both ds's I have done it from 6 weeks, both settled after 2 days, J now goes down easily in his bed, day or night. It is not for everyone (eh LW ) but it has always worked for us and it is tough to listen to it especially when it is your first . HTH

Pebble have a fab time at the seaside.

Scoot good to see that you have resorted back to the more usual bottom wipes, I did chuckle, I bet Mae has a beautifully soft bottom though

forgot to say well done to Mr Scoot! Big it up for the big mac man.

Lillaura, I hope you are ok and have sorted out your (d)h problems.

Can anyone help me with a Paypal question? I have an account and only used it to buy stuff, if I am selling how do I use it/what info do I give potential buyers so that they can pay me by Paypal? Obviously I'm a bit of a dinosaur on these things

Hi all

C in bed again and doing well. I decided his routine will be feed at 8pm, sleep by 9pm and sleep until 6am. Ha Ha - shall we see how long it lasts! He is pretty good though so fingers crossed.

Got him weighed today and he is 15lb3oz and 14 weeks on Saturday, staying just above the 75th centile.

I've added a few piccies to my profile.

I at last found out how to resize them!

Thanks Guys...really appreciate the advice. I'm not prepared to do the controlled crying. Done a fair bit of reading up about it and DH and I have just decided it's not for us. Once she's asleep she is asleep for 8-9 hours so it's just getting her down that is the problem. Hmmm...

Congrats to your DH Scoot. That is fantastic news

Lilaura - sorry you are going through a tough time. Hope you have some good support around you

Cin, if you don't want her to cry at all, then I think you need to be super-watchful, and watch for the "moment" when she's about to fall asleep. Might take ages to get the right moment, but the idea being that you put her in the cot sooner and sooner until she's finally going in awake, but sleepy. You can do this with "gradual retreat" whereby you stay in the room until she falls asleep - getting further and further towards the door until she doesn't need you any more. Or you can do gradual retreat, but let her cry with you in the room, so she's not alone.

I don't have the patience for it - I'm the complete opposite, but it seems to work for some people.

Oh and one very important thing I've learned and subsequently read stuff that backs it up; it's very important not to let them be overtired at bedtime or this will be torture. Try to have her in the bed within two hours of last waking. It means you need to get her to nap late afternoon. If she's overtired, she'll get an adrenaline rush and be wired and it makes the whole thing so much harder.

A fell asleep 4 times today all by herself. Am very pleased. She's been falling asleep whilst feeding the last few nights, but if she wakes when I put her in the cot, I just give her a little shush and put my hand on her chest and she goes off again. Hurrah. Have now stopped swaddling too. I'd been doing it loosely so she didn't bash herself in the face, but could get her hands out if she was determined. Now she's found her fingers and sucked them to get to sleep a couple of times today. Awh.

That's great news about Mr Scoot. He must be very clever indeed to do so well in those exams with everything going on.

Hello

First of all, lillaura at your (d)h! You poor thing, I hope you're ok. Think that you have absolutely done the right thing by putting some distance between you and the kids and him just now. Think you're being amazing about the whole thing, but am mortified by his behaviour towards you in the past. How awful for anybody to treat another person like that. Made me quite tearful reading about it on your thread. We are all here if you need to chat

Scoot WOOHOO to your dh! Huge congrats to him upon passing his exams. Hope you are feeling a bit better after all the medical crap you've been through recently!

Pebble hope you have a fabtabulous time.

Cinn I'm not one for the whole 'controlled crying' thing either. Try giving M a nice warm bath, warm milk, and then go into a darkened room with a glow light or nightlight or something for her to look at, and at the same time play some nice, chilled out music. This is what I resort to when C is driving me nuts when she has her occassional off day/night. Works a treat for us. She gets to look at the pretty lights in wonder whilst listening to nice music. Cuddle her and sing along to it until she has dropped off and she's in a deep sleep - the kind where she goes dead heavy, and then put her down. Stay in there for 5 minutes and stroke her hair and sing to her, and slowly get quieter and leave the room with the music and lights still on. I've found this a godsend with C and I usually put music on for her whilst she's in bed.

Well I went and got my hair restored today lol! My god it was frickin awful! Never attempting a home highlighting kit EVER again. Cost me £48.00 for a wash, cut and colour. Not too bad, and I'm dead happy with it. I'm a brunette now!

I think I may also be slightly addicted to ebay I got C some cot drapes last night. The woman makes them specially for each person, they're gonna be so lovely! I also got her a personalised nappy stacker, it'll be in pink gingham with Charlotte May sewn on it Cost a small fortune but I can't wait! Also got a pair of river island jeans rrp £45 for £15 including p+p, never worn, tags still on. I'll stop listing the other things I've bought and sold or I'll be here all night. My poor bank balance is taking a serious thrashing! I can't stop though lol!

Hope all are well.
Night night x

Cin - I agree with you we are not in to controlled crying - it wouldn't fit in with our needs so C just goes to sleep downstairs in his swing usually. I know we are probably making a rod for our own back in the long run but its ok for now. I think you just have to do what works best for you.

My plan of feed at 8, sleep by nine and sleep until 6am didnt go 2 plan. He got the first 2 right and was asleep by 9 but woke at 4.30 for a feed, was asleep again by 5 but seems to have woken for the day and fed again at 6.30! We are now up for the day with loads of catching up jobs to do.

I will try and not spend too much time on here

Just found your thread lilaura. Really feel for you but good for you and stick to your guns x

thanks for all the support guys, i know ive defenatly made the right decision as he is in groveling mode at the mo and he didnt seem like the same person which has only prroved how horible he was - he admits to treating me like shit , grinding me down, never appreciatig me and evything else all i could say was know , ive known for years, im glad he has realised but im taking the risk to find out if he has changed we r having the discussion about the kids tonight as he wants to see them but hasnt sorted out anywhere to live yet so gonna get him to stay here sat, and im going to see my mum 4 the night - he is being weirdly understanding and its my bday next week so gnna get him to do the same next saturday so i can go out, then going to every other weekend from then on and dinner with us once a week - im not backing down just trying not to disrupt the kids too much.