The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #2

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 2 for all our newborns ❤🤗👣

@Jenfur Little man was 9 weeks yesterday - I'm still being told to go back every two weeks. He lost very little weight when he was first born so they've struggled to track the curve. They think they've got it now but want me to keep going back till it's definite. To be honest though - I enjoy going and seeing how he's growing so I think I'd be going even if they said I didn't have to ha

@HidCat ouch reading that has just made me cross my legs I hope it’s ok but what a way to test it out

@Sheeni hugs it is the hardest job in the world being a Mum but then throw reflux and no sleep into the mix as well and it’s torture.
Do you have a sling? If not I would try one as they usually sleep in one so at least it would give your arms a rest.
I’m sorry you don’t have any help being told to toughen up is horrible
I have a 4 year old so that is dd2 entertainment other than that I wave a few rattles at her until she looks bored or cry’s at me so don’t worry about entertainment.
Do you have any groups near you that you can go to? I find dd is a lot more pleasant outside of the house.
Other thing is are any of us near you to meet up? A problem shared and all that sometimes it’s just nice to have a cup of tea and a moan to admit that this is a bit crap but I promise you it isn’t always like this it still has its challenges but it gets easier.
I live in Lancashire close to the Yorkshire border if you are anywhere near happy to meet

@Jenfur I took dd1 to be weighed every month/6 weeks once she got to about 4 months just out of interest to see the curve.

@BadBadBeans haha typical man! Oh bless them, I bet he's having a whale of a time I hope you're enjoying the free time with LO!

Ladies anyone had this when having sex for the first time pp. 6 weeks pp after emergency c section, tried to have sex with DP last night and my lady bits became sore quite quickly and I came over really dizzy and felt sick. Is this normal? I'm guessing maybe my body just isn't ready yet?

I’m up doing the 1st feed she slept 6 1/2 hours i feel groggy my body is obviously not used to getting a decent stretch of sleep

@Wineandchoccy You lucky thing! I got four hours straight sleep yesterday from 930 to 1:30 am, Followed by three hours till five-ish and I must say I feel wonderful!

@BadBadBeans Thank you for asking. He's got a cyst behind his ear which they've told us to keep an eye on. I just assumed it was an enlarged gland as DH always gets the same when he's got a cold. I've also been prescribed some cream to put on my c section scar as it's a bit inflamed.

@BadBadBeans @Wineandchoccy I thought they had to be weighed monthly for the first year, I took DS1 for ages! Although he had a weight gain issue so needed it for longer than DS2 will (if all carries on well)

We've had some success going back to the potty instead of the toilet lately and he just had a wee when asked without having a tantrum so that's a big win to me! Poos are just impossible here, it's probably been 6 months or more since we started potty training - he's done one in the potty and never since. Even chocolate button bribery doesn't work so you know it's bad!

@Sheeni you are not alone! Being a mum is the most selfless and hardest job in the world. You are doing everything right. Reflux is awful. My little one has been suffering with colic and we had three days this week where it was literally a battle of survival to get through each day without losing my shit. It is more than okay to say you are not enjoying it aswell, it's normal and you're human! If you have serious concerns for baby call your HV. I felt a little more reassured after speaking to them that I was doing everything I could to try and comfort little one. This stage won't last forever even though when you're in the moment it's so hard. I'm using infacol and gripe water at every feed and keep little one upright a lot of the time. As to interaction, I talk to him when changing his nappy most of the time and I have this Lamaze firefly toy which he seems to have taken to. Literally a bit of waving in front of his face, nothing sophisticated whatsoever! Oh and he likes laying on a mat in front of the tv. To be honest, after the week he's had, if he's quiet and content then that's good enough lately! Don't beat yourself up about things. I'm sorry to hear you don't have much support, have you looked into local Mum and baby groups or could you join the NCT? Where about a are you based?

I promise even though it doesn't feel like it now, suddenly you will have a really good day with baby and then you'll grab that and it will be the best feeling in the world. Go with it when it happens and on the bad days, don't feel bad about how you feel. A lot of people don't say or they are frightened to for fear of judgement, that they don't enjoy these early weeks. It is so hard and we all know what it's like now and are here for you to rant and whinge as necessary. Xx

Also forgot to say that I am a FTM too so it's all new and unknown to me too! I've had little one sleep on me at night as he wasn't settling with the colic. No always said before having him that I would never co-sleep, have him sleep on me etc but just goes to show the ideas you have in theory pre-baby get thrown out the window and you just have to do what you need to, to get through it! You keep doing what works for you and that's the best you can do xx

@HidCat I'm now grabbing the brighter moments however they come. Even if he wants to "chat" with me only when he's grumpy and we end up complaining incoherently to each other. I guess it's still communication!

@whatalearningcurve I'm now looking at groups in the area, aiming to start going from next week. I'm in Southampton and most of the classes happen away from the central/West part where I live. I don't drive, so need stuff to be reasonably local. There are a few nearby though!
I'm struggling with the carrier, don't know what it is. It's making me faint, as I struggle to breathe, even if I loosen it. But DH uses it a lot as LO will sleep in it most of the times.

@Jenfur It's not all rosy then! Mine is dozing off on me today and after yesterday's 2,5hrs nap time throughout the day making him a very cranky monster indeed, I'm happy to let him nap however he chooses! I tried other ways already this morning, but he seems to be in a lot of reflux discomfort (and I think he's trying to push a poo as well). I'm glad I'm not the only one who has not mastered the sleep yet!
He sleeps in a pram if it's sufficiently long after his last meal. But there's only so long I can walk around with him and he wakes up once we stop. 😐

@shiny888 I'm glad you're feeling better, I was concerned about you when I read your message earlier this week, but didn't really have much advice to offer. I have to wait a bit with the bottle as I don't want to mess up his latch post tongue tie division, but I'll definitely try it as soon as I feel he knows what he's doing. Co-sleeping is life saving at the moment. We managed almost 3 hours of fairly unsettled sleep in a cot last night, but after that I didn't have the energy to try and re-settle him there, so he slept on me again. So weird that he's not sick or in pain that way!
@badbadbeans Trying to worry less now and just talk at him, occasionally sing, cuddle as much as I can manage. He's smiling more and more each day and you're right, it is a game changer!

@Wineandchoccy Lancashire is a bit out of the way, but thank you very much anyway! If anyone is near Southampton, I'd love to meet up for a tea/coffee.

@ballanj We do most of our interaction when changing the nappy, too. He used to hate the nappy change, but now it's almost only time when he's quite keen to interact.
Colic is awful, too. At least your LO should be over it after 3 months. Hope you're close to that by now.

@Sheeni we've had some unsettled days after his 8 week jabs (and 3 days of no ooo which thankfully was resolved today - and even more thankfully DP was doing the nappy change!) I've discovered that if I put little one down in the Snuz Pod on his side - he is happy as Larry and goes to sleep - once he's asleep I can roll him onto his back and he wasn't registering it and carries on sleeping. If I put him straight on his back then he was having none of it.

For the sling - we have the baby Bjorn - we got it from Aldi so was okay priced. I literally wear it round the house so I can do things like load the dishwasher. He doesn't always like it but it means that I can still comfort him whilst getting stuff done with one hand rather than having both hands tied up. Could you look to see if there's a sling library near you to see if there's one better suited for you?

@sheeni your tongue tie situation is very similar to mine. How long did it take to get it cut? And how old is your LO. My LO can now stick out her tongue, etc but it took her a while to get used to her new mouth. Unfortunately, BF is over for us but they left us for over a month to get it sorted and it was so severe. Something to consider might be an osteopath for baby, apparently it can work miracles after TT has been cut.

We have found that a tight swaddle, dummy and white noise work a trick for getting A to sleep in her cot at night. She is now 6 weeks and will sleep 3-4 hours. She feeds approx 11, 2 and 5/6. She sleeps more soundly before the 2am than after. I’m thinking of trying to stretch it to 3/4am? Still some struggles with wind and reflux but every health professional has said it’s normal. She’s fussy in the evenings. Piling on the ounces nicely and that’s all they seem to care about.

Her feeding in the day is totally random and on demand. We aim for 120 every 3 hours but it can be 90 every 2 or 60 then 60 an hour later!

I’m still bleeding at 6.5 weeks PP feeling dizzy and getting cramps. Need some blood tests and if still bleeding at 8 weeks I’ll get referred to hospital again.

Feel very mixed about the BF but it was too upsetting when A was literally beating me up on the breast. I don’t think my milk ever really came in despite what all the professionals say, to build up that supply would mean becoming a hermit and spending 5 hours a day expressing as well as BF and bottle feeding and sterilising bottles, shopping, feeding and washing myself and all the laundry?! Never mind anything else. It means I can do the odd day work and others can look after her. So swings and roundabouts. I would have liked to have BF and I am angry about how easy they make it sound (and birth!) and how long it took them to sort the TT. The doctor at my 6 week check was great. He has a 1 Year old and his wife is a paediatrician her NCT group wanted to lynch the woman running it apparently!!

Does anyone know if lochia stops before your first period. Can’t work out if these cramps are part of what’s been going on or my period?

@sheeni I get what you're saying completely. Also a ftm and even though we had expected the early days to be a slog, nothing prepares you for how boring and demanding newborns can be!! We are now at 10 weeks and honestly the last 2-3 weeks have been so much more enjoyable now it feels like we are "on the other side" and he's interacting more with us, whereas at week 6 it was a different ball game and my husband still wasn't sleeping in the same room as us at night. Is your baby smiling yet? For us that happened around week 8 and even that makes it much more fun. Hang in there and do start going to groups, I'd go crazy if I were on my own all day .... I've found local churches to be quite a good resource for cheap and cheerful baby groups where you can guarantee there will be adults to chat to and it won't cost the earth like some of the private play cafes. You don't need to be religious to go, obviously.

@Gronk27 I had period cramps for about a week before mine came. I stopped bleeding lochia and then 2 days later got my period

So guys Iv got a wedding reception to go to beginning of June. I was planning on taking A with us as I'm BF, Iv brought her ear defenders and the hotel is only 10 mins from our house so can easily go home and only planned on staying an hour or so anyway.
Was saying this to my SIL yesterday and she made me feel really bad at the fact I was going to be taking A and that if I didn't want to express and leave her with someone I shouldn't go because she wouldn't take a baby to a wedding reception.
Would you guys take your LO? She will be around 10weeks old then
Thanks in advance

@shiny888 we took A to a wedding last week at 5 and half weeks and we have another one in two weeks when she’ll be 8 weeks! It was fine. Some people commented that it was ‘amazing’ we took her etc but if you feel more comfortable taking her it’s totally up to you. I think some people think back to when their babies were small but everyone and every baby is different. We got on day 3. A loved it. She likes being out. We did leave before the band got going but we didn’t have ear defenders. We will next time as it’s a family wedding and I want to stay longer all being well.

@sheeni I'm a FTM and I have struggled really bad. Groups help I've only been to one but it was nice to hear others feel the same . My partner is living at his mum's whilst I'm at my mum's as our house isn't ready for moving into yet. This has made me feel so alone . It's hard work . We haven't spent a night together for 3 weeks now which means I'm doing the nights on my own. No one prepares you for how hard motherhood is. Keep going your doing great and I'm sure it will get easier for us

Quick question to anyone . My baby is 6 weeks . Still breast feeding but she has the odd bottle of formula when my partner has her . This is day 4 of no poo. Lots of wind. HV said this is quite normal for breast fed babies . Just wondered if anyone else has similar experience . Baby is not uncomfortable and tummy is not distended

Thanks in advance

@Jenlou1992 I've FF from the start. Little man has at least one day a week where he doesn't poo. If he starts seeming like he's in too much pain with trapped gas then I've started giving him a little bit of cooked boiled water to help things get going. (My friends a doctor and double checked with the HV - they said the only reason they tell mums not to give children water is so it doesn't get used to fill them up between feeds. It's okay to give it as long as they're still eating as normal)

@Jenlou1992 meant to say - this week we had 3 days of no poo - his wind absolutely stank - it was awful! The water definitely came into play then - I'm just eternally grateful that it just so happened that my partner was changing the inevitable dirty nappy and not me. Windows had to be opened after!

@jenlou1992 we noticed a change in poo habits around the 6/7 week mark and he can now go for several days without a poo, farting a lot but then when the poo comes, it comes! He gets very uncomfortable and constipated in between poos. I've found massaging his tummy in a clockwise direction below and to your right of his belly button plus doing bicycle leg actions for a few minutes after a nappy change helps him deal with the wind and generally results in more frequent poos, but not every day. I go to a baby massage session and we were discussing poos there, they said it's very normal for some babies to go up to 2 weeks without a poo at this age so I think what you're describing is very normal and all of my NCT friends are reporting this too.

The situation with your partner sounds very tough. I had assumed you lived together when you had posted before, so now I know you don't I can see why you're situation is even harder. How has Rose been recently?

@shiny888 I'm surprised people don't expect you to go to a wedding, it's not something most people want to miss and baby is so little, why wouldn't they come with you if you can? Especially being so close to home, I'd only consider not going if it was a long journey and even then, wouldnt necessarily be put off.

I'm off to a sling library tomorrow and taking the bus and for some reason I'm having full on anxiety about it. I always get a bit anxious in new situations but this time it's really getting me worked up. In my head the bus looks really narrow and my pram is bulky and I'm not going to be able to get it on properly. Then I have the added concern of other prams or wheelchairs being on or getting on during the journey as no way I could fold mine down. Not to mention what if baby kicks up a stink or wants feeding.

Then after the sling library I'm going to the dentist which gives me the added concern of what if baby starts crying while I'm in the chair.

I appreciate these seem like really minor worries but they're really big in my mind right now.

I'm typing this one handed with a lump of a baby sleeping on my other dead arm so apologies that it doesn't address much that's been said. I read, I just struggle to keep up ATM!

Just wanted to say also a FTM and also struggling! Some days we just survive, anything more than that is too much to expect! I've been in and out of hospital so much so DS has spent a few nights with grandparents here and there. Waiting results of MRI but also been diagnosed with gallstones in the process so having gallbladder removed in 2 weeks. Just what I need after c-section, more surgery! So yes, being a mum and a FTM is hard and sometimes shit and I'm sending you all xx

@Whatalearningcurve We also have a Baby Bjorn! No idea why it's not working for me. I think it's the super-correct way I have to stand in when wearing it - I have a bit of scoliosis, so it might be quite unnatural to me. I'll have to work out a way though, as I'd love to be able to use it. Just out of curiosity, how much was it in Aldi?

@Gronk27 My LO is now 7 weeks. We actually got it cut privately, as the waiting list for NHS was 3-4 weeks and we thought it would be unwise to wait that long as he was really starting to struggle with his latching on. It was actually our cranial chiropractor (nearest osteopath is too far) who recommended getting it done, as her manipulations were not working as he was getting tense again due to his struggles with feeding. We'll have a couple more sessions with her, which will hopefully help more now.
He's starting to latch better now, although still getting frustrated occasionally and also beats me on my breast when he's tired. So we've been working super hard at getting him to sleep as much as possible. Got almost 3 hours out of him today already. Still too little, but we've had worse days.
I don't know why, but I wasn't in pain when he was feeding with his tongue tie. All the health professionals are like "you've done so well feeding him with such a tongue tie", but it was no hardship for me, just for him, it seems! Can't imagine what it must have been for you, especially if you were also struggling with milk supply. BF is definitely not easy. I still can't manage the ideal cross cradle position (he's so little, but still too heavy for my left hand), the latching move with nose to nipple, mouth wide, shove the boob in, is unrealistic (my boob is not of the shoving dimensions). And the woman who led the BF class I attended when pregnant was the same that assessed my LO's TT and said it's just little bit tied and kind of discouraged us from getting it cut.

@cardboard33 He's smiling already, not a lot as he's a grumpy, tired bugger most of the time 😀 but he's getting more interactive every day. Thank god for that!
I'm going to try to get to a group in the local church hopefully this week, should be dancing with babies or something like that. It's not that easy to find out what's on where though! Found this one online.

@Jenlou1992 Can't imagine not having my husband here! That must be so difficult. Hope your house will be ready soon.
As for the no-poop issue, if the baby is happy I wouldn't worry yet. I think babies can go without poop for a few days.

We're now on Ranitidine. I tried to avoid it by trying the feeding management techniques and some homeopathy first, but his GP is not happy with his weight gain. Which I don't understand as he gained 200g (7oz) in a week? I thought that's pretty normal? BFing ladies - how much are your babies gaining per week? I know he's a tiny baby, but considering he has reflux and had his TT cut this week, I thought 200g was pretty good.

@sheeni I had no pain either with the TT and the cross cradle was the only position we could we manage. I have small boobs and nipples that point outward so couldn’t do laid back! We had the same with the TT ‘slightly TT’ ‘not affecting feeding’ then a 4 week wait to get it sorted and she scores a 0!!