The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #2

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 2 for all our newborns ❤🤗👣

@melissa112 yeah swimming is great with them! We are booked onto a 6week course and it's surprising how she isn't phased at all about going under water.
Tips would be as long as you're relaxed baby will feel relaxed - that's what the swimming teacher said .
Just reading the posts and I saw you asked about TV I'm so paranoid about it I have ago at my OH for letting A watch YouTube because I didn't think anyone else would be doing it and felt he was just copping out of playing with her but now I have read that you and @Jenlou1992 let your little ones watch tv I won't deprive her of it

If you don’t want them to watch the tv put the radio on L loves it and saves me icing a running commentary at home. She also loves the washing machine so I put the bouncer in front of it

I know we're all concerned about whether our babies are being suitably entertained but this is my child entranced by a packet of kitchen roll so I don't think any of us need to worry about them being stimulated 24/7.........

Cute babies! @Whatalearningcurve your picture is hilarious.

@shiny888 I'm so glad to hear from you and so pleased that things are heading in the right direction. I know it's not the same but I had terrible anxiety after my first son and I was just reading through my blog of how I felt and I am glad to say I really cannot imagine feeling so bad now, even though I know I did. You will get through to the other side too. You're doing so well xx

Regarding TV, I am the Queen of Mean and DS1 didn't see a screen for more than a few seconds until he was well over a year. He still has restricted screen time now at nearly 3 - he gets to watch TV or a video maybe twice a week! But then when he does watch it tends to be for 45 mins one bash because I've reached desperation point and need it to babysit him. Bear in mind though that my husband and I are not TV people so I doubt we are the norm. We haven't owned a TV in the whole 14 years we've been together! We only watch stuff on our laptops that we've chosen to watch so it's never on in the background, which makes it a bit easier to avoid the kids seeing it. I have however watched a fair few videos while breastfeeding - I just only put it on when he starts feeding and turn it off when he stops so he never sees the screen. If i think he is getting distracted then I turn down the volume and use subtitles. I also read a lot of books while feeding. I've read just under a book a week since J was born. It's ace to have so much reading time! I'm going to hit up the library next week because I can't afford to keep buying them though.

On the TV thing I think the advice is not to let them watch at all until they are 2 but personally I think that is over cautious. A bit of judicious use of a TV babysitter is surely no worse than what I do, which is leave J on his changing mat staring at the dust bunnies under the bed while I put away laundry? I just wouldn't do it too often or for too long personally!

I took DS to a sensory class on Monday... anyone got any tips on how to get the bloody say hello to the sun song out of my head?!?! 😂

I have the TV on in the day although I have also noticed that he strains his neck to look at it if he can, so I now mostly position him with his back to the TV then he doesn't know it's on. Id assumed it was the light, again. In the last few days he's become obsessed with one of the dangling things on the play gym and can sit there for hours silently handling that, so I just leave him to it as he's obviously trying to work something out as he's got such a serious concentration face on.

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever sing one of the other ones instead??? tbh the first week I couldn't get it out of my head but now I only really think about it when we are going. Was your theme also father's day this week?

@melissa112 I've done baby massage (great for getting poos out) and baby sensory. Then we've gone to one off sessions of other things at the children's centre (music making etc) as well as baby first aid, and we've just started swimming. I'm determined he will be a strong swimmer like me, lol. He's only been once and seemed to enjoy it but think he was more confused than anything, and obviously screamed and screamed when I was trying to get him changed after. That bit was way more stressful than I'd envisaged. I'm also doing a few fitness classes for me in the week where you can bring your babies and they bop along to the music which he seems to enjoy too.

@shiny888 so glad to hear from you, sounds like you've been doing well. It really isn't easy this being a mum lark!

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever is it too harsh to say i now hate you? I'd just got it out of my head after a six week session!

@shiny888 oh that sounds fab, must be amazing seeing her underwater like that!

@Wineandchoccy haha my LO likes the washing machine too, especially on the super spin! We also have patio doors in our kitchen so i plonk him in front of them and he seems to like watching the birds, or maybe its the colour of the trees, he's fascinated by the light coming through leaves

@WhatALearningCurve haha that's so funny, gorgeous baby!

@BadBadBeans i did read the no TV under 2 thing too which is why i got panicky about him straining his neck to watch it. I now do as you do with the videos, if he's definitely awake i have the tv off, if he's dozing or asleep i have the subtitles on and the tv on mute until DP comes home and he puts the sound on but faces LO away from it if he tries to watch it. I do allow one annoying song on.the tv per day, the 5little ducks one which lasts a couple of minutes and means he does some form of tummy time but i think i will carry on limiting it in general for now

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever haha.we did a trial of baby sensory and start our term next week so I'll be wondering the same thing!

@cardboard33 aw isn't it lovely when they are concentrating so hard on something on their mat. We had days some weeks ago of baby just with one arm in the air touching one of the things hanging down, he was concentrating so hard, proper cute! Oh yes i can feel the stress of getting baby changed after swimming already just reading your post, i think this is what worries me..and my anxiety head is also worrying about germs/verruccas etc! But i would like him to be a strong swimmer.

@cardboard33 it's fascinating watching them when they are trying to work something out isn't it? My LO has been doing the same on her play mat then all of a sudden she started to spin the ball that's inside a frog after 2 days of really concentration on that one toy! I'd love to know what goes on in their little minds

@melissa112 I wouldn't let the stresses of changing them put you off though as I think the benefits will outweigh the negatives, it was just really stressful the first time as there was only one baby changing space in the changing room (despite them offering baby swimming classes!) and that was in use, and he was screaming his head off as he was cold etc. But then an old lady took pity on me and helped me out so all was good... We took the sling last week but this week am taking the pram as somewhere to potentially change him, extra towels and another bag that has literally just his bits in so I'm not faffing around trying to find a nappy amongst the spare pram sheets and God knows what else the husband thinks I need to hand more importantly than nappies at all times during the day.

@shiny888 I suspect we've got the same play gym. Ours is a fisher price one with a keyboard at one end. Mine is currently obsessed with the elephant one with the rings hanging off it and is delicately handling the rings, putting his wrists into the hoop and moving the ring things up and down the hoop. It's so funny to watch as before a few days ago he'd only really interacted with the frog one, although hasn't worked out that it spins yet!

So glad I'm not the only one suffering 😂

I took George to get weighed and he's dropped from the 32nd percentile to the 25th. She said she's not worried but I'm now wondering if he's eating enough. He's 11 weeks old and is still not draining a 5oz bottle in one go. He always has about 2-3oz and then comes back to it but very very rarely drinks it all before it's been 2 hours and I have to throw it away. He is having about 6-7 bottles a day though.

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever my little is the same, she's dropped a little bit HV isn't worried. She also doesn't finish a 5oz, she will have anything from 2-4oz. She has about 8 bottles a day depending if she's had a nap and missed one then it could be between 6-7

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever I'm still having to get him weighed every two weeks because he's never followed a curve since birth. He eats when he wants to eat and he's a happy baby so they don't seem overly concerned (it's not like he's screaming with hunger etc).

He's 14 weeks and goes through stages - some days he downs 6 or 7 Oz at each feed. Others it's 2 or 3 Oz every feed. I'm just following his cues

@melissa112 I think the key is probably doing it thoughtfully so you are aware of how much screen time they are being exposed to. I suspect the blanket ban is a bit like a general recommendation not to drink while pregnant - because people's interpretation of a limited amount varies sp wildly that it's easier for medical professionals just to advise not to do it all? This is complete conjecture though!

@cardboard33 we are lucky and our pool has several family change cubicles with big red tables for baby changing. It is such a pain when there isn't one free though! Trying to keep one hand on them at all times so they don't roll off the bench, while not getting them wet as you drip all over them...! @shiny888 I loved swimming lessons with DS1 - the underwater bits were amazing! They were the highlight of my week for pretty much 18 months. Then we moved and there is nothing as good (or cheap) nearby so I'm not sure I will be doing it with J, just taking him myself.

DH is off work today and I had a nap from about 8am to 10.30am this morning and feel significantly better for the top up. J just spent the last 30 mins screaming and I got him ready to go out in the pram but it started raining. Now just sitting I side the open front door with him still in the pram - he is a lot calmer for tje fresh air and bird song!

@cardboard33 how lovely of the older lady to help you. You've just prompted me to check which pools near me have family changing so thank you! I agree that the benefits outweigh the cons and I wouldn't like to miss out. Think I'll start with DP going alone with me watching and changing baby. Then together and one day maybe alone!

@BadBadBeans ah that's a good point about the TV, you might be onto something. We don't watch much, only certain series like Game of Thrones, and I do have my guilty Corrie pleasure so isn't too hard to avoid it. I got used to having it on in the background and never watching it for some reason, think I'll go with the radio if i need a bit of background noise but it's been a couple of weeks of making sure the TV is off when he's awake and I'm actually enjoying the quiet.

Feel like we've had a small breakthrough with putting him down in his moses basket downstairs for naps rather than me being tied to the sofa. Since starting a bedtime routine a week ago we've made sure he's gone down in his basket downstairs for the first part of the evening til we go to bed. We thought he'd hate it as he would never sleep in there but surprisingly went down ok each evening and slept til bedtime for us. He still would not be put down during the day. However today and yesterday I've persevered with putting him down once he's asleep. He does wake but with a hand on his chest and his dummy back in he has actually had 3 more than an hour naps in there. I know 3 sounds silly but it feels like a real achievement 🤣 he even woke up about an hour ago, realised he was in there, whinged for about 10 seconds while i sat holding my breath, then just fell back asleep.

Probably won't last but it's just nice to be able to make a brew or some lunch quickly, or just pop that washing on while he's asleep. Of course now I'm missing the cuddles typically, so still think we'll have lots of mummy cuddle naps too! Feels odd sat here with a brew typing this with him asleep in there!

@BadBadBeans oh also, how lovely is it just listening to the birds sing. My LO loves just standing outside with me listening to the birds and watching the leaves blow in the trees, really calms him down. Does J settle in the pram on walks?

@badbadbeans & @melissa121 tbf it's probs my fault as I'd also never been there before and just assumed there would be more than one baby changing unit. Today we cheated and used the disabled toilet, which also has a baby changer although I always feel guilty in case someone who is actually disabled needs it. Last week daddy came too and went in the pool and I did the changing like @melissa121's idea but this week it's just me as he is at work. The changing bit went far better today as I was more organised with the clothes/towels etc, but he cried a lot in the pool so maybe daddy is better at that aspect! @badbadbeans & @shiny888 did/do yours always seem exhausted and ravenous afterwards? I think that's part of the issue with the screaming afterwards as he wants to eat and sleep simultaneously so atm I try to get him dry and changed quickly then give him a bottle whilst I sit there wet, but I don't know if it'd be better to give him the bottle first to fill him up, but then he'd be wet which surely also isn't good?

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever I only know how much mine has if he has it in a bottle, but we only give him 5oz at a time. Sometimes he will drink it all and then other times he will drink half, then come back to it a little later.

People doing sensory... say hello to the sun!

Sorry all, don't think I'll ever catch up on responding to you all. Having a rough time here.
After we managed a bit of the night in the cot earlier this week, we've had nothing but failures since. He screams bloody murder as soon as we come to the darkened bedroom, won't be put down even if we eventually get him sleepy and calm. We've tried 3 nights already, even tried feeding him before bath tonight, to see if he might be too hungry and that's why he's unsettled when starting the nighttime routine. I also got him to nap in the cot twice during the day, so he's more used to it.
It's so disappointing and I'm just so drained. I've no idea why he's like this and how to change it. He will cry for hour and more, even with shushing and rocking. I can't have him sleeping on me much longer as everything hurts so much by now. He won't even settle on my husband.

He's just such a high maintenance baby and I need some rest (from him), but I can't get it. All his naps take 30 minutes, whilst it takes longer to even get him to fall asleep, and his sleep is so shallow I can't really do anything while he naps, often not even move.
His latch is also still rubbish after the second division and I'm struggling to fix that, too.

@shiny888 I'm really glad you're feeling better! Hope it's all going to continue improving for you

@cardboard33 yes that's the play mat we have! It's great A really likes it! That's so amazing that he is moving the hoops bless him!
With swimming what I do when we get out of the pool is strip A off wrap a towel around her and myself and then give her a quick feed just like a little snack and then I change her (she can be grizzly but I just make sure it's something easy and quick to put on like a baby grow) then I finish feeding her quickly get myself changed. I have this stretchy jumpsuit I stick on so it's quick and not having to faf with different clothes items getting all tangled on wet skin 😂 and then I'll settle her to sleep. But I usually take her car seat in with me for her to sit in there with the car seat tou that lights up as some form of distraction-doesn't always work though 

@BadBadBeans oh that's frustrating that there isn't one as good or reasonably priced! I have to travel 35mins to get to our swimming lesson. It's in a community pool and the teacher is amazing. There is one closer but it's ridiculously priced! Glad you are feeling better after having a nap! It's amazing how sleep can make you feel like a different person!

@melissa112 I feel you on the nap front! Glad you've had Abit of a break through! Mine still won't go down to nap she is very much a contact napper. It's so hard to get anything done!
Regards to swimming try not to let it stress you too much of you do want to go and get someone to go with you the first couple of times so you can establish a routine after you get out of the pool and then you'll feel more confident on your own. Well that's what I did so it may work for you aswell 

@Sheeni Sounds like you're having a tough time with little one! There's a Facebook page called the beyond sleep training project and they have some good tips on there, they don't promote controlled crying or CIO but they are good at giving tips etc.
Also have you thought about a cranial osteopath? Even if you labour was straight forward might be worth a shot?
Cranial Osteopathy can be helpful if a child has had a difficult birth or for those “unsettled” babies and children. Cranial Osteopathy works with the body's involuntary mechanisms, helping to restore a calming balance to natural biorhythms by means of gentle massage of the child's skull.
Sending you virtual hugs!

The paragraph about cranial osteopath is copied and pasted from google hence why it's got some bold words in it, it's not me trying to be pretentious

Hello everyone, so nice to see that the thread is still up and running!
How are you all? Hope you and your babies are all well.
I feel like the last 12 weeks have gone by so quickly, it is quite the blur.
Has anyone thought about having another baby? My hormones are telling me to have another (soonish) but my head is telling me that this is crazy talk. 🤪

@Sictransitgloria hi hope your well. Totally agree, my little girl is 12+4wks and feels like it has gone so fast. Yep I'm seriously thinking I want another haha. Me and oh have said we will see how we both feel at the end of this year then maybe try for another

@sictransitgloria Oh, hell no! One will be enough for us I think.

@Sictransitgloria no no no and no tk another one here 2 girls are more than enough for me plus it’s blooming hard 2nd time round