February 2019 babies - thread 2

[Celebelly]

New thread, ladies!

Seriously struggling to keep my cool tonight. LO doesn't want cuddles, the bottle of the dummy and wouldn't latch on.

@detachablehoof thanks for your concern and I hope things look brighter for you soon. DH takes our LO in the evenings and mornings when he can but sometimes she just wants boob and refuses anything else. I think sometimes she just wants to suckle and gets upset when milk comes out cos she is just doing it for comfort. I've only managed to get her to take the dummy a few times. I do get a couple of hours here and there most nights. It's just nights like these that do my head in especially when it is a few on the trot.

I had PND with both my previous kids, undiagnosed with the first but was out on antidepressants with my second. They took a couple of weeks to work but they were amazing! I still had all my emotions but they were dulled down and everything was manageable.

I honestly cant remember how long I was on them.. six months maybe? Less than a year at any rate.

Just give them time to work, but if they’re not working, or you have adverse effects, try another type.

detachable glad you are going to be getting some treatment and I hope it kicks in quickly for you. Your DH and family sound very supportive which should surely help you recover sooner.

Deliberately l hope you have managed to get some sleep. I had some success calming DC1 down with white noise although you've probably tried most things by now.

Powkin how's things been today/yesterday?

R is still unhappy after his vaccinations and it's been a week since he had them. I think the oral one is working its way through still because he's just starting with v loose nappies. I don't remember after effects lasting this long with DC1 though.

I've been prescribed 25mg Sertraline. Hoping it will help but really can't see how a pill will make me want my baby again. I don't feel depressed really, I just don't want anything to do with her 😔 and feel pretty bad on my mum who is looking after her. (baby is being as good as gold for her - slept ten hours last night 😯 and sleeping brilliantly during the day too. which I feel like just proves I'm not cut out for motherhood!!)

On the other hand I'm desperate to get back to normal (whatever that is) and go home and live my life again. So I'm really really hoping that I'll love her again soon. 🙏🏻

You just need to take each day as it comes and don't put pressure on yourself. You won't feel like this forever

Don't know how long sertraline takes to kick in but DH was once on it and it helped him feel more normal. I think he took it before bed to sleep through any side effects but had a bit of insomnia for a week or so at the start. Make sure you take it with a big drink of water otherwise it can give you bad heartburn. Have you checked out the PND or general depression boards? You might find someone in the same boat.

You do want and love your baby, it’s just all a bit clouded right now. That pill doesn’t create emotions that aren’t there... but it will lift the cloud.

Give it time. I wasn’t on those pills, I was on fluoxetine (I think..). They were brilliant though 👌🏼

@detachablehoof glad you've got some help and the tablets kick in soon. I know several people who have sought support from the PANDA charity

www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/

Hope things are better for you soon x

LO is sleeping great in the crib tonight (still asking every couple of hours). Trouble is I find myself unable to sleep. I think I've become nocturnal or hardwired to stay awake in case I'm needed LOL.

I've caught DP's cold 😩 really hope DD doesn't get it

That was supposed to say waking not asking

@Celebelly - Emma's been snuffly / snotty ever since she was born! 😩 colds are rubbish! At least I'm over tonsillitis now!

We're moving house tomorrow! I'm dreading it and excited at the same time.

Sorry to read about those of you having a hard time, hope you're OK x

This made me smile this morning.

@maxiflump1 love that, it really is bloody hard work!! We had the 8 week injections today and she's been so difficult that it's brought me out in a coldsore ( I get them when I'm really stressed/run down) . Now I'm panicking as I don't want to pass it to her 🙈 have been tempted to let the hubby take paternity instead so I can go back to work. I love her but my god it's hard

We were very lucky with the 8 week jabs this time round, they were Tuesday and DS2 screamed absolutely blue murder during and in the waiting room after which was horrible, but then other than another random 20 minutes later that evening where he screamed on and off, he was totally fine and you wouldn't know he'd had them. DS1 was under the weather for a good couple of days after.

I'm still at my wits end with him falling asleep on his bedtime bottle though! Does anyone else have this problem? We've tried everything to keep him awake, nappy changes, blowing in his face, loud coughing (!) etc etc, and it feels stupid as we do this lovely calm bedtime routine of bath and dress in dim lighting, then spend ages trying to keep him awake. We've moved his bottle teats up to level 2, and today I put him to bed alone as DH is out and I even moved it way forward, with his bottle starting at 8:55pm. But it was still a huge battle to get him to have a measley 3oz, and I had to give up after 30 mins. Unless he has at least 4oz he's up again after not very long (the odd occasion we've managed to get him to have 4+, he sleeps for 5-6 hours!). It's so demoralising as he's never going to start sleeping longer on only 3oz.

@Lookingforadvice123. I’m in a similar position. DD usually takes a bottle around 7pm and then another bottle at 9-9.30pm. She then sleeps until 4am based on bottles being 4-5oz. However recently she won’t feed until 8pm and will only take 2oz at the most. She is then up around 2 hours later and will take another 2-3oz! It isn’t until the small hours that she takes a full 4-5oz and sleeps a more solid block of up to 4 hours! So frustrating as her original routine was so much better!

Argh so annoying isn't it bubblybrit! At least you had a good thing going and have had a 7 hour stretch! We've had two 6 hour stretches maximum, but I was pleased with the 5-6 as it was finally progress (we've been having 4-4.5 since very early on and it stayed the same until this last week).

How come she won't feed til 8pm now? Is she falling asleep on the bedtime bottle or just doesn't want much as she's feeding too soon?

I feel if we could get DS2 to take 5oz at bedtime he would do a good solid 5-6 hour stretch consistently, eventually increasing, but it's impossible to get him to have more than 3oz! No matter what time he's fed before, or slept, as we've tried little naps close to bedtime, which were an absolute battle but he still then fell asleep on the bedtime bottle!

@Lookingforadvice123. She seems to take 6-6.5oz at around 5pm compared with previously taking around 4oz. Due to the larger quantity she just doesn’t seem hungry at 7pm so feeding is delayed by an hour but even then she will only take a smaller amount!

I am pretty lucky that she is a fairly good sleeper but was getting used to the longer stretches! Was hoping to improve further but we seem to be going back the way at the moment.

Have you tried stripping him down to his nappy before his bed time bottle? Midwife recommended this to me in the early days when I was bf as DD was a lazy feeder and often fell asleep on the boob. The coolness seemed to keep her awake and give her motivation to feed x

My boy takes 7oz and still averages a four hour stretch..

Cannot wait for a decent nights sleep!

Anyone else had tounge ties snipped? Bit late at 12wks but got ut done yesterday. Baby is fussing feeding. Think shes overwelmed with her new tounge. Going to be labour love reestablishing feeding i think.

Thankfully seeing hv 2morrowmorning, osateopath tomorrow afternoon and have lactation counsellor home visit monday. So hopefully getsome support.

Im enjoying bf so hope it doesnt effect it 😢

Hi folks, been reading through this thread for advice and support. it's really helpful when you feel on your own in this journey and days are really tough.
@Notquiteagandt we had a tongue tie snip at 4 weeks as i was in major pain feeding and baby was losing weight. It definitely tooka few day a for him to get used to his tongue and about a week or so till I noticed a difference. I also had to 're adjust his latch over and over as his new tongue meant we could improve it a lot more which eventually let my nipples heal. Good luck with your hv and I hope to get to keep be ok.

bubblybrit yes we've tried giving him some in his nappy! Also tried giving a bit immediately before his bath, then a bit after, then a bit more when he's dressed 😑 I think the problem with that method was the 1-2oz he'd have before bath were enough to ride him over so he wasn't so hungry for the rest, of that makes sense.

BUT, even though he only had 3oz last night, he ended up sleeping for 6.5 hours which is his longest stretch! He started fussing after 4.5 hours and I thought to myself this is becoming a habit now as he's well over 11lb and should be able to sleep a bit longer (and has done). Plus the last couple of nights when DH has given him his middle of the night bottle, he's seemed really relaxed so I did think we're too quick getting him up. And I was right! Gave him a dummy a couple of times and put Ewan on but other than that left him to it, he fidgeted and did a couple of little grizzles but other than that straight back to sleep for another 2 hours. Hoping we can crack it now!

I've just been reading that based on modern hunter gatherer societies and early European writings it's more normal to have a gap in sleep and this has been interrupted by electric light: "We began our long and leisurely night with what Charles Dickens and others called “first sleep,” followed by a couple of hours during which we were awake—musing, talking quietly, making love, recording deep thoughts, even getting up and doing housework or taking a walk—and then slipping into a “second sleep” until dawn."

The quote above is from 'Sweet Sleep' and so far I'm liking the sound of it. It's taking a natural approach to sleep solutions.