Babies after Infertility

[Blue2014]

Here is a thread for all of us who got our babies even though we never actually believed this could happen us ...

Too sleep deprived (and surprised!)!to be witty or more interesting in the thread title ...

Come join us.

Congratulations Stealth and Lucie on your new arrival and to Rose and Grumpel on your news, I hope everything is going well. We’re deep into sleep regressions and crazy toddler life. Babies are now almost 2.5 and 9 months. Where has that time gone? Every time I come back on to this thread the memories of being pregnant first time round and spending hours chatting to you all on our pregnancy board come flooding back, it’s a world away from my life now. So strange.
Hope everyone is doing well. We’re looking forward to a holiday in Cape Verde in Just under 2 weeks time! Can’t wait.

Hey HP - it's crazy how fast he time goes.

I've name changed here (and for all previous posts too if you want to match me to other posts), but I'm the one with the twins!

Said twins are 2.1 now!

It's funny how much life has changed. I miss you all and our chats sometimes.... although obviously I am very happy that we're too busy to be here much!

Yes I remember, I think irl you are friends with Boris? I think we are all local to one another and we meet up with Boris quite regularly. Life with twins must definitely be hectic! But I bet now they’re a little older must be nice that they can play and entertain each other as well? Be nice to keep this board going though even if it’s just occasionally popping on to update.

Yes I am friends with boris. Not sure I'm local to you both though. Boris and I are Facebook friends!

It is hectic, but amazing! Yes they do play together which is lovely, however they also fight over everything so currently I have two bikes, two pretend shopping trolleys and two dolls pranks in my living room

Yes to keeping the thread alive every now and then.

Hi all, thought I'd pop on and see how you all are. @loopylou1984 nice to hear from you in your new guise! How is everyone else getting along? How is life with two treating you @stealthbanana and @lucieloos ? Hoping to hear nice and straightforward and calm

I'm now 16w and all going well so far. Feel enormous already, mind. We've found out that we are having a little boy this time! Very exciting, though am slap-bang in the middle of the 'OMG HOW do you manage two?!' panic. Doesn't help that DD is very clingy at the mo and only wants me.

As has been said though, life is very different but wouldn't change a thing. Except for perhaps more sleeping through.

Ahhhh my mistake loopylou I thought you guys met up for some reason.
Grumpel I don’t know how you cope with 2 you just have to so you do! Lol! I’m 10 months in and some days are easier than others most certainly but the joy of seeing the sibling bond developing is second to none.

Ah so pleased all is going well @grumpelstiltskin ! Two is...interesting. In fairness the baby is an absolute breeze - she’s slept through (properly through - 8pm-730am) since 6 weeks old, and is the most chilled out happy little thing you’ve seen. Only problem is that the toddler has regressed massively and is waking up every other night. Le sigh. Parenting. Happy to have the opportunity to complain...

I think the way you cope is to give the toddler a lot more telly and bribes, buy in as much help as you can afford, and to generally lower your standards. At least that’s my formula. Won’t be winning parent of the year but am surviving so far!

Hi there, how is everyone getting on? All ok here although baby and toddler have had really bad colds so lots of sleepless nights for everyone. Having 2 is definitely interesting but getting easier in some respects now baby is almost 6 months old.

Anybody thinking about trying for no3? We still have 2 embryos frozen. One is ok day 5 hatching blast not top grade but not awful and the other is a day 6 expanded blast so a bit slow. I'm not sure what to do really as I don't like the idea of leaving them behind or destroying them. I don't know if we did use them whether to continue with one at a time or because of the cost, how far we have to travel (Czech) and the fact the one is quite slow in development whether to put them both back. What would you do?

Hi Lucie, lovely to hear from you.

I think we're fairly decided now that we won't be trying for any more. I always wanted two children and was lucky enough to get the twins.
I don't think I can put myself through IVF again, the memories of that dark time are so faded now and I really don't want to bring them back.

We have three embryos frozen however, and I do get what you mean about not wanting to 'get rid' of them. I'm leaning towards donating for research purposes. I don't think I can donate them to another couple, which is perhaps selfish, but I can't help how I feel.

Hi loopy, lovely to hear from you too! Hope all is going well with the twins.

I don't think I would be able to donate to another couple either and it isn't allowed at our clinic anyway. I know what you mean about not being able to go back to ivf but we wouldn't desperately be trying for a baby with this round. I would quite like a third but it's more a case of let's use them up and let fate decide and if it doesn't happen we have 2 gorgeous babies already and are very lucky. Also it's pretty easy with a fet I wouldn't go back to having more egg collections and all that malarkey again.

Twins are doing brilliantly thank you!

Yes. I guess my main fear would be that if I let myself try for another and it doesn't happen then I wouldn't be able to think 'oh well I'm lucky already' and the need for a baby would consume me again.

I think we'll be getting a letter any time soon from the clinic asking us to make a decision. We already paid for one extra years storage so this will definitely be donate or FET. We won't extend the storage again.

Hi! We’re good thanks. Baby HP 2.0 just celebrated her first birthday and had her 12 month vaccinations today so she’s was bit of a miserable little girl this evening bless her. Can’t believe she is 1 already! My little boy has just started preschool as well and is really enjoying it. It has brought his confidence on leaps and bounds.

Lucie, you’re brave to be thinking of a third already. We are undecided. I didn’t have ivf for mine, however I have a very low ovarian reserve so the choice may be out of our hands if we leave it for too long, however even if we do want another it won’t be for a good few years. I think if we do go for it, it will be in a very laid back ‘if it happens, it happens’ approach.

Also Grumpel how are you getting on?

Hi everyone,
Really lovely to still have this thread going. I don't think we're going to go back for number two let alone number three! You're very brave Lucie.
I'd always imagined having two children but the more time has gone on the more I think we'll stick at one. It's such a difficult decision and it's really hard when I look at dd and think about our frosties.
I had a big bleed when dd was born then a blood clot a few weeks later and the thought of giving birth again terrifies me. Plus ivf with all the immunes again....We'll keep our frosties for the time being just in case but we're also thinking of donating them to research.

It's such a hard decision. I know it's very brave to be thinking of another so soon and I think I must be crazy but I'm 40 this year and I don't really want children after that and I do kind of feel I want to try the last remaining ones so I guess it's now or never!

Yes, 40 is our cut off too which gives me 2 years. Good luck if you decide to go for it!

Hi ladies, I never joined this thread but recognise lots of names from the ttc and infertility boards and think about you all from time to time - it was such a lifeline going through those years of trying and tests and treatment. Wanted to say huge congratulations to @lucieloos and @stealthbanana and everyone else on the safe arrival of number 2 how amazing.

@JustTrixie and @loopylou1984 so pleased you’re both doing so well 😊

Think I’m a bit behind most of you as DD is coming up to 17m. We started to think about number 2 a few months ago and decided we’d try naturally for 6 months or so but that we wouldn’t have any treatment if it didn’t happen and just enjoy our lovely dd. Miraculously on the second month I got a BFP and am now 6w with number 2. Early days and it hasn’t really sunk in yet, but if all goes well I’ll be 39 when I give birth so I think that will be it for me. No Frosties for me to think about as ivf never worked for me, so I see that that makes things simpler in some ways.

@Grumpelstiltskin sorry to read about your earlier MMC, they seem so common it’s so sad 😢 hope your pregnancy is going well, congratulations 😊

Hi @star1980 - lovely to see you round these parts, and congrats on no 2! Hoping it hangs in there for you.

This is definitely the class of 2016-7 thread isn’t it?!

@lucieloos how are you getting on? One thing to think about if you’re going for a third is that they recommend waiting a year between pregnancies if you’ve had a section (particularly an emcs).

I don’t think we will be going for a third although we haven’t ruled it out. If we do it will be with a larger gap - would prefer that DD was closer to 3+. All things being equal would love a third but I have such shocking pregnancies with the hyperemesis I’m not sure I can do that again. Plus all the practical considerations around adding another child - cost, space, time etc. We shall see! It’s hard having so many pgs tested Frosties in the freezer because in someways it’s not leaving it to fate. If we want one we can have one. What a lovely “problem” to have!

@Grumpelstiltskin hope all well

Afm, stealthini 2.0 is 5 months and a lovely little girl. Am much more relaxed this time round and enjoying it all as I know it’s probably the last time!

That's amazing news Star! congratulations I hope all goes well for you.

Ps my dd is 22 months Star so only a few months ahead.

Aw, how lovely to have so many messages to catch up on! Absolutely the class of 16/17, @stealthbanana - it all feels so long ago now but love that we're all still here intermittently catching up.

Congrats on your little one, @star1980 and the surprise no2! Hope it all goes smoothly for you and you're feeling ok. Our no2 (and the MMC previously) was also a slightly surprising natural diff which was fortuitous in lots of ways as I'm almost 38 now and we have no frosties. Like loopy, I felt very ambivalent about having more IVF and all the challenges that brings, so the decision being made for us was handy. All being well, this will be our last one. I admire those with/wanting three and large families are lovely, but I don't think it's for us. If we had blasts in the freezer it would be a much harder decision though, so I feel for those of you grappling with it.

I'm almost 26w now and feeling MASSIVE (also probably in the minority in being generally ok with the colder weather and rain atm) but am keeping well. DD is being very cute about the bump- "hello, baby brother, how are you?"- but I'm still feeling daunted about the newborn and toddler stage. It's good to hear that those of you who have gone through it are generally finding it fine!

Star, that's amazing news! Congratulations you must be over the moon.

Stealth, I'm doing ok thanks, getting the hang of it all now. I didn't mean we would go back right now for number 3. I'm 6 months in now and we would be looking at towards the end of the year so around the 1 year mark. That is a nice problem to have with all the pgs embryos although I think i would probably end up with a football team with my urge to give them all a chance

Grumpel, so glad all is going well. I'm sure you'll be a great mummy of 2.

@lucieloos ah cool. Thought you were a Wonder Woman for even contemplating it now! I know, it’s tempting to create an army of Frosties - luckily with c sections you can’t have too many so even if I went crazy it wouldn’t be an option 😂

@Grumpelstiltskin aaah a little boy. Wonderful news. The newborn/toddler stage is definitely tough but it’s amazing how quickly the newborn stage passes second time round (too fast! Aaah! Hormones!). Wishing you a calm and reasonably sized rest of pregnancy - update us when you can!

So we have decided we will go back for our remaining embryos probably around October time this year! We have 2 left - one day 5 hatching blast, average quality and a day 6 expanded blast so a bit slow. My next decision is whether to transfer them both together or not?! I don't really want twins, 3 children would be more than enough for us but it is a long old trek to Czech to have the transfer especially with 2 young children and each attempt will cost us around £2k and we've spent so much already. How many would you go for in my situation?

Eek Lucie! If they're tested embryos is there a higher chance of twins? I remember you had a BFN with a tested embryo before so it must be tempting to put 2 back, but twins when you already have 2 under 3! If we did decide to go again we would transfer 1 even though we transferred 2 with dd (but we wouldn't have to fly anywhere to do it). I think I would prefer the short term expense and hassle if the first transfer failed than the risk of twins.