July 2016 #2

[Bluebell20]

A new thread as we (hopefully) move towards longer sleeps and lovely little smiles!

sunday I use the sling to settle too - we have a close caboo and it is lovely. A bit like being pregnant again!

julfin I saw brideshead revisited last year and rather enjoyed it. I love a good rich-eccentric-family story. I've been mainlining crap on Amazon Prime. Watched both seasons of The Unreal in a week and loved it - all the characters are horrible people, which is surprisingly addictive! Lots of laugh out loud moments at some of the more outrageous bits - I thought it was quite clever.

Anna it makes sense that you are feeling the grief more fully now that things (and hormones) have had chance to settle a bit after the birth. Ruben is sleeping a bit better thanks - I'm not though as I am on a rigorous pumping schedule to try to ensure my milk supply continues!

Basically I begged my way back into hospital for an hour last Friday for some face to face help, as the HV couldn't see me for several days. The midwife watched a whole feed and was really helpful. I've been latching him on with his head too far forward so it's hard for him to get enough breast below th nipple. Also he does these sucking noises occasionally and the his latch narrows - I need to take him off and relatch him every time this happens.

I had a pain free feed in hospital and could have cried with happiness. Then I got home and couldn't get a good latch, and within four feeds I was bleeding again. I was so frustrated.

Anyway the upshot is that I have been exclusively pumping for the last 36 hours as I figured the best chance I have is to give my ragged nips some recovery time and then to next latch on in the presence of someone experienced. I'm going to a breastfeeding support group Monday lunchtime, hopefully seeing an NCT bf counsellor in the evening, and I am also going to ring a private 'lactation consultant'. (Love that job title. Tho if it were my job I'd want my title to be 'Boob Guru'.) I am a bit worried that pumping will cock up my supply, but I produced 1130ml in the first 24 hours (of which R drank 980ml - but worried I over fed him but he did cry and root for the extra I ended up giving him) so I'm hoping my supply is good enough to cope till tomorrow lunch.

I have watched more boobs on YouTube this weekend than the average teenage boy, and have got a few tricks to try next time:

• Use the pump to draw the nipple out before trying to latch on (my nipples are quite flat)
• Also use the pump to draw off milk to make the boob a bit floppier (I know someone on here suggested this too).

• If the latch is bad, push up the corner of the baby's top lip into an Elvis impression to break the suctiob, as sometimes when you put your finger in the corner of their mouth they simply suck on the finger and the nipple (I have experienced this a lot and it hurts!).
• if the latch is poor, after ten seconds you can try to improve it by flanging the baby's bottom lip out with your finger and then pressing down on their chin for ten seconds to try to open their latch.

I am also discovering that loads of my friends had trouble breastfeeding. It seems it is hard work!!!

Bluebell the Boob Guru - ha! I know someone who (as a holiday job whilst a student) used to be a Bull Wanker (yes, it's an actual job. For breeding prize bulls. Apparently.)
Re bf - Like you I found jasper was narrowing his latch to just the nipple. I was told I should relatch him when that happened, but he just did the same thing every time, so after a while I gave up bothering relatching him and just carried on with gritted teeth (and sore nipples for five weeks). When I went to the bf cafe, the lady said that, as he had been latching badly for 5 weeks, it would be difficult to get him to re-learn how to latch. And that clearly it was working fine for him (because he's a chubby little thing, beer belly and all!), and he couldn't know that it wasn't working for me, pain-wise. So she recommended that I "turn it on its head". (She meant it figuratively and wasn't referring to the baby 😄) She recommended ditching the positions I'd been using and starting from scratch with something completely new, as J would be more likely to change his latch if it was a completely new position. I thought that was an interesting theory. And it worked. Have actually had some non-painful feeds in the last couple of days. Interestingly, today I've also had a couple of non-painful feeds in one of my old positions too (lying on the bed on our sides) - it's as if he's learnt a new skill and is now applying it in the old scenario too. I hope you get as much luck at your next lesson.
In answer to your Q about the GP, yes he's been great. All the care I've had since jasper was born has been pretty great, actually.
Don't you find the close caboo swelteringly hot? I wonder if they come in different materials. The one my friend lent me is really thick and gets sweaty.
Re going to the loo, yes I've been with jasper in my arms when he's been particularly angsty and I've been desperate!

Anna I'm doing ok thanks - over a week now without any panic attacks, which is great. And in general terms (ie when I'm not having an attack) I'm coping much better with jasper too - much more calm and confident and able to deal with him when he cries.
I'm so sorry that your grief has caught up with you. Big hugs xoxo Do feel free to download here as much as you like if it's helpful.
Hope you're coping ok with all the feeding. Jasper fed like crazy this evening, including one feed of an hour and ten minutes! Think he's got a growth spurt coming.

So... Hands up who's tasted their own breast milk? 😄

Hey bluebell just messaged you! BF lady or Boob guru as she will henceforth be known was great and already helped loads! She opened up Mo's position a lot rather than holding him so close which helped. Upshot was that Mo is tongue tied so we've done ok to get this far! Not sure what we're going to do yet, but will keep you posted.

Anna - oh lovely, I can only imagine how the hormones and lack of sleep are making you feel at the moment. You must be really missing your mum. Sending you huge hugs xxxx

julfin so glad you're feeling a bit better. So brave of you to seek help, isn't Jasper lucky to have such a brilliant Mum!! Changing positions helps so much with BF but I feel a bit like we take a step forward and then two back - it's so inconsistent! Anyway glad you got some help too. Also yes I have and it's so sweet! No wonder I want to eat cake all the time!

July - imagine having bull wanker on your cv! Love it! I wonder what it's really called? 'Bovine semen operator' perhaps?! I'm so glad that you have had such great support, and that the panic attacks are lessening. I had one mild one after coming home and it was horrid. It's absolutely exhausting abd debilitating, and I think you're brilliant for ploughing on and having such a positive time with jasper xx

Cheery - messaged you back! Such good news about Mo and feeding. Fingers crossed this is a big corner turned for you.

I have had a crappy night. Only 4 hrs sleep so far, and all of it in hour chunks. DH had agreed to do the feeds so I could pump and sterilise, but he woke me up again to warm the milk for him because he was holding the baby! And then didn't understand why I was cross!

By the second night feed DH was really grumpy because he'd had R in his room so I could pump without waking him. I woke up when he got up and offered to sort the bottle and the feed. Then after extensive winding and singing R still wouldn't sleep so I had to give him more milk, by which time I was overdue pumping so had to hand him back to DH. Then it was a mega sterilising session, by which point I had been up for two hours and was wide awake.

In the middle of all this DH was telling me that this process is unsustainable (no kidding) and telling me I had better prepare myself for not being able to breastfeed because he doesn't want me to crash if I find I can't. Easier said than done!

I had thought if my supply continues to be good and I can't fix the latch then I could do the exclusive pumping thing, but I honestly don't know how people do it. When you have to do the feeds and winds yourself as well it takes more time than even cluster feeding! Plus my hands feel horrible as I have done twenty small loads of washing up for the sterilising since this time yesterday! And there is the problem of what on earth to do with the baby while you are pumping, too...

I did find a website called the lactation consultants of Great Britain where you can search for private Boob Gurus in your area. I'm going to give one a ring in a couple of hours and see what I can sort out! I'm not beaten yet!

Oh ffs. Julf, not July!

Oh and I have Straining Baby in my room now (the reason DH was grumpy by the time it came to the second feed - he hadn't slept well through the noise). I think I am going to call it quits at 4 hrs. If I get any more it will be a bonus. It's a shame though as I find I have much lower coping reserves on too little sleep, and I don't want to cry at the breastfeeding group later! Agh!

I haven't tasted the breast milk yet. Too busy collecting every precious drop!!!

Morning all...been lovely reading through the thread. So shattered every night have zonked out and Claudia's nighttime feeds mercifully short so less time for proper catch ups.

All fine here with my spice rack but gads moving home still with 6 builders painting and sawing away and a 17 month old has been trying. Anyone else finding newborn pretty easy compared to toddler?

Dats - do we have a name yet? Sorry if I missed.
Julfin - so sorry to hear what you're going through but pleased you've had help and support. It's sodifficult to describe just how monumental the change is.

I managed to see the new Bourne film last Thursday and wondered around the West End like it was a parallel universe.

Anna - thinking of you.

Where's beaut?

Wonderful pics of babies! Claudia still has pretty bad baby acne so will send an update once it's cleared up.

bluebell I could've written the boys in your post about sleep and coping!
Although, how on earth you're managing with the pumping/sterilising etc as well, that's some mum skills going on there. Good luck with all your people today, you've done really well to find so much bf support locally, will be interested to hear what they all say.

julfin am so glad you have such a great support network to help you get yourself to a better place, sounds like you and Jasper are getting along splendidly now. I've done the loo thing, but not tasted the milk (yet)!

Sending you a virtual hug Anna, you've had such a hectic couple of months and hardly any time to come to terms with it all, my heart goes out to you. It must be so hard to find even a bit of thinking time to get your head round it, you need to do whatever to can to be fair to yourself and well as your little people xx

Was getting 5-6 (interrupted) hours until a week ago and now down to 4 in short stints which makes me feel awful and very teary, was crying on the poor baby's head again at 5am. Have resorted to having to make myself as uncomfortable or cold as possible when up with H, because in my sleep deprived state, am beginning to get irrationally worried about falling asleep while holding/feeding and suffocating him. What I would give for one night of 8 hours sleep!

The 'bits' bluebell, not the 'boys'!!

ruby - oh for 8 hours sleep! One of my NCT friends was fantasising about booking herself into a b&b for one night, alone, just to sleep as an early birthday present! Had a meltdown this morning after another 1.5 hour sleep (currently on 3 of these a night, argh!!!) Mo wakes up at 5.30 and that's is up! Sooooo tired

No breastfeeding support groups running at the moment at all. That's what you get for living in the countryside.

However! Boob Guru coming to ME in half an hour! Fingers effing well crossed!!! Xx

Ooo fingers crossed bluebell! I'd get a second opinion on the tongue tie too- NHS don't diagnose if baby putting on weight, etc and sounds like something more going on

Didn't mean to post!

Cont...more going on than bad latch. We've had same thing with groups being off over summer and we're in London so it's not just a rural thing! X

Ditto here - middle of a city and no groups until term time... Apparently summer mums don't need support?!

Oh bluebell you sound like you're having a rotten time with feeding. Don't bat yourself up if you have to mix feed - baby will still be getting the benefits. Fingers crossed you get the latch problem sorted. The only reason Annie's tongue tie was diagnosed was because I went for advice about feeding positions, she puts on weight like a trooper so nobody would have checked for it otherwise. I second cheery's advice about getting a second opinion.

A moment of silence for all of you getting a crap sleep - I'm fairly lucky at the moment to be getting 3/4 hour blocks as standard through the night but I could have drop kicked dh in the head this morning as I had just got her to sleep again at 5am when his alarm started going off at 5.30. Ladies, he doesn't even intend to get out of bed til 6.30 but he likes to be woken up gently by his alarms going every 15 minutes from 5.30 so he's not too drowsy when he has to get up er no dh - Switch em off or bigger off downstairs!

Thanks for all of your sleeping arrangement comments, we are doing largely the same - don't think I will feel comfortable with a monitor for a long time yet tbh.

Julfin - I haven't tried my milk yet but I frequently took her to the toilet in the early days! I even used to bring her in the bouncy chair and bounce her with my foot while I had a wee pfb much!

I'm with everyone waiting for baby groups to start Again - getting a bit lonely now

primary I'm fuming for you! I don't understand people who do this progressive snooze thing. You've wasted an hour of fe want sleep and that's why you're knackered every morning! DH used to do it, I then told him to go to bed earlier and he stopped lol.

blue great news on the lactation consultant. I really hope she helps. Well done for expressing, I think it's absolutely the hardest option as you're essentially doing both so very time consuming. Hugs to you, you're doing so well.

juflin I'm glad you're doing better. I think confidence grows each day and as horrible as the crying is sometimes you just have to put them down! An hour and ten mins Feed would be quick for Grace if that helps! She is literally always hungry. We gave her more formula after she's been on my boob for over two hours which she nailed. She then woke up an hour later and wanted more milk! She's so hungry!

eliz lovely to hear from you! I'm jealous of the quick feeds though! I'm with you on the toddler being harder. Luckily mine is still in nursery for two days till end of sept so I'm getting a break today!

indians thanks for the advice. I think I'll do a bottle a day as like I've said above she's so hungry and it's getting tough.

cheery you must be shattered. Are you managing to nap in the day? Is Mo up feeding or just awake?

Thanks for all your support re my mum. It's been so crazy with everything that's happened think it's slowly catching up with me!

Grace has been attached to me since 9.30! Hoping to get her down on her own so I can shower and tidy up a bit! Xx

Anna - absolutely understandable re your mum. I don't know what to say other than try your hardest to get some alone time to grieve - I find Annie sleeps on long walks so I often go on a good long trek and just process my thoughts and grief and any other things that are on my mind in the fresh air and when I get back home my head is much clearer. Could you find time to do something like that while you still have nursery to take your other dd? I think it's really important to let it catch up with you though, it's a process you can't skip

Anna am also offering virtual and hugs while you grieve. I was a lurker on the July antenatal thread, I seem to remember you have a close family, I hope you are all supporting each other x

Primary my DH was exactly the same with his alarms but when E arrived I put my foot down! Surprisingly he hasn't overslept once.

Hope you've had a productive session with bf lady bluebell. Can sympathise with the frustration with expressing and constant sterilising. I managed 3 weeks of bf/expressing/formula top ups, what sort of pump have you got? I can recommend hiring a hospital grade double electric if you haven't got one already. Only downside is that you have no hands free while you pump, but that does mean DH is forced to do his bit looking after baby!

Hi ladies hope I can join, my cherub is a month old this Friday! I've had a bit of a tough day today, my little one cluster fed for 10 hours!! She's EBF and although a complete cutiepie, I've really felt drained today. Hubs is calming her down with a dummy to give me a break, but wow my boobs have had it today. It's my birthday today, my first birthday as a mummy! I'm so proud Sending baby cuddles xx

Okay, so primary and Cheery got it bang on... Ru has a tongue tie! I cannot believe it - especially when I had a midwife telling me he didn't! But the Boob Guru found it within about three minutes of arriving at my house, and got me to stick my finger in his mouth and feel it for myself. Apparently there are lots of kinds of tongue tie, and they are not always diagnosable just from looking. (Though here is a tip I didn't know - some of them pull your baby's tongue at the tip so that it has a little dip in it, kind of like the top of a heart shape - Ruben's does this!) She booked me an NHS hospital appointment to get it snipped on Thursday. Hopefully this should allow the poor little guy to latch on better, and liberate my nipples from the hard palate of doom! I am so excited. I could have kissed her when she told me.

Much of the rest of the session was spent with her showing me how to use nipple shields, checking my positioning of Ru as he feeds (it's fine - so reassuring!), trying a few different positions, and answering my questions about expressing. If I am able to feed Ru without pain from Thursday, it will be hands down the best seventy quid I've ever forked out. I feel bloody lucky to be able to afford it and gutted for all the mums out there who might not be able to pay for help like this - it's such a shame the NHS doesn't have enough midwives trained that they can check every baby properly for tongue tie on, say, the first home visit after discharge. It would save so much frustration, and so many poor nipples!

Elliz - just remember, it's your forever house! Totally worth the chaos :) Still got spice rack envy. I just ordered a motherload of spices from an online Asian supermarket - sooooooo excited about them!

Will respond to others later - Ru has finally fallen asleep so I need to follow suit, pronto!

Yay bluebell!! Light at the end of the tunnel :)

Hi cheese what a cutie! You are in good company with cluster feeding mayhem on this board!

Ah blue that's awesome! So pleased for you. You've inspired me to contact one too as I'm getting fed up with this constant feeding!!! Great you've got an app to get it sorted too!

Thanks sunday yeah my family is really good and we all speak everyday which is helping.

Welcome and happy bday cheese! My Grace feeds like that every day! It's very hard as I have a 19 month old too. Going to have to get some help with it all I think!

Hope everyone is ok x