March 2016: the one where Indomitable gives birth...

[vroc81]

I hope I haven't duplicated a new March thread in my sleep deprived state.. Went to reply and found thread was full!..

time I cosleep with E. She starts off in cosleeper cot but usually ends up in bed with me. I have one pillow way up high away from her head, and like mrsben I just have the duvet only up to my waist. I then have a light cardigan or long sleeved top on to keep myself warm. Sorry to hear of all the crying. It sounds like colic to me. I have a friend whose baby just cried and cried for no apparent reason. It did eventually just stop though, so given its been going on for ages hopefully means it'll stop for you soon.

Had E's six week check today, all good. She was weighed and is now 11lb 2 up from 7lb 5 at birth! She's moved from 50th to 75th percentile! I guess that's what happens when you have a baby on the boob every 2 hours day and night doctor also prescribed some cream for dry skin on her face. E hasn't slept much today I think because she is so snuffly poor thing hoping we'll get a good nights sleep tonight but I doubt it...

Thanks everyone still can't get baby to sleep. Have tried dummy, feeding to sleep, rocking, white noise, swaddling, warming the basket up. Nothing is working :( I even walked her round the block. She woke up the second the pram stopped moving. I don't know what to do. I ttied her lying next to me she still wouldn't settle.
I'm lost

I think the jabs are starting to take effect on Cassidy. Poor thing is desperate to sleep but keeps waking crying, as soon as I pick her up she settles so think I'm just going to have to let her sleep on me, temperature is up as well, can't find the thermometer so not sure what to but I can feel heat coming off her, more success getting the second dose of Calpol in her so hopefully she took enough to bring it back down. Dh is having to work late tonight as well so flying solo

Aww hope she feels better soon. Can any family have her tomorrow if your up all night?

My mil was a god send today. I couldn't thank her enough.

time although I've been lucky enough with both mine not to experience reflux as a parent, but looked after a suprising amount of them at nursery. Gaviscon, inficol and gripe water are just the start of things but the right things will make a massive difference. I saw lots of different medications, although I've no idea what you'd need to say to get them as some parents had to fight to try them. Also a range of prescribed formular and different ways to try giving it. The worst case I saw almost magically stoped projectile vomiting with a medication beginning with r and having his prescribed formula chilled straight from the fridge.

Yes babies sometimes do just cry and won't always eat. But if you think her reflux isn't under control or that she's in pain don't let worries about anxiety stop you seeking help repeatedly if you need it. To me you sound worried but grounded.

Hope C can settle down to feed and has a better night tonight.

Hi all,

beaut just been catching up with your posts, everyone has given fab advice and support already but just want to say I'm thinking of you. You will get through this and you will all be better off without someone so bloody selfish

time you poor thing, and poor Calais. Is she having at least 6 wet nappies a day? I've been told that's the main thing to look out for to check they are staying hydrated. If not I would take her in just to be on the safe side. I read that reflux babies often either want to eat all the time as the sucking soothes them, or refuse to eat as they associate it with pain. Seren is the former, but screams through every feed and then gets gassy so we don't have much down/content time. Plenty of people have told me their reflux baby stories and they all turned out fine in the end - I keep telling myself 'this too shall pass'!

As for sleeping, just wanted to caution you time that they say not to co-sleep if you are not breastfeeding. Not sure of the science behind it and it's obviously your choice, and I'm sure it will be fine if you naturally wake up to her every noise. But as S is a mix of breast and FF - both from bottles, I was nervous and got one of those bed nests instead. It goes in the bed with you but has mesh sides to protect them. S sleeps way better in that than the co-sleeper attached to the bed which is still a bit big for her (she's 9 lbs now). Here's what I have, not sure if available in UK? www.amazon.com/SwaddleMe-By-Your-Side-Sleeper/dp/B00YBADM1O?ie=UTF8&keywords=swaddle%20me%20bed&qid=1461880944&ref_=sr_1_1_a_it&sr=8-1

Hope you have a better night tonight

Well Cassidy got to the point where she cried every time I moved a muscle, ended up lying in bed fully clothed with her asleep on my chest. Dh finally got home from work and offered to take her and she didn't make a peep when he took her and 5 minutes later was happily asleep in her cot. Of course he now thinks he's super dad! She's just woken up to feed and her temp is much better. I read that the fever peaks at 6 hours post jab, dh took over at about 7.5 hours post jab and after Calpol dose 2 so I think he was just lucky with the timing! We are now 10 hours post jab so hopefully she will settle after her feed if not I will happily wake super dad up to work his magic.

Hey Time hope tonight is a bit better, it's so hard - have you found the 'high needs baby' support thread on mumsnet? I think it's still kicking around but can't remember what section it's in.... My ds1 sounds very similar, he was never content, had reflux, colic/wind and SCREAMED sometimes for hours, I used to think the neighbours would call the cops because he cried so much.

The thing that really helps is time (sorry) I'd say he started improving at about 4 months and if it's any consolation he was a very good toddler - mischievous but no tantrums really. I think part of it was he didn't like being a baby much - once he could sit, roll and grab things he was more content.

Gaviscon was useless for us, we used carobel thickener as he threw up a LOT and that helped. DS2 had bad silent reflux (he was prem and it's more common in prem babies I think) we were prescribed omeprazole by the Paeds at the hospital and that was really good. Is Calais getting any follow up from the hospital? If you think she's refluxy and in pain I reckon push for them (or GP) to prescribe something else for her.

Ds1 for a long time would only sleep being held. DH and I used to do shifts where I'd go to bed at 8 and he'd take baby til 12 then he'd wake me to take over until 4, then my mum (who was staying with us) would take him from 4-when he woke up for morning feed. It was grim but it did get better, eventually he would co sleep and then sidecar cot. He's 4 now and a good sleeper.

Long screaming bouts sound like over tiredness - hard thing is to break the cycle as when they are overtired they get all wired and hyped up and then can't sleep. Aidan would've slept in the car so I used to drive around for hours, or walk with the pram for hours just so he'd get at least two good naps a day. I also used to let him nap on his side or tummy (but never at night and I was always in the same room so could check on him) as it can be more comfy for refluxy babies.

I watched a lot of box sets and walked/drove a lot. Do whatever it takes to get Calais to sleep for a good long time and she will hopefully get less overstimulated and settle easier.

Sorry for the essay - my heart just goes out to you as I know how hard it is and anyone that hasn't had a high needs baby does not really understand what it's like. Still haven't read the whole thread, so just ignore me if you've already tried all this, or if I'm teaching you to suck eggs.

It gets better I promise!

MrsElls my DH also goes on about 'the calming influence of daddy' . It makes me a bit stabby!

MrsE hope C settled well after her feed. Why is it men think they have the magic?? Embolio a bit stabby, that made me

Well E fed at 11 and was awake again at 1.40. She seems to have a cold, sniffly and sneezing so drank a tiny amount of milk. Think I'm in for a tough night and we start baby sensory tomo at 10.30

Does anyone here watch Line of Duty? I missed my normal early night watching the amazing series finale and then dissecting what happened with dh.

embolio your post was super useful for me too, thank you!

Purple baby sensory is fab! M slept throughout the entire class yesterday. I'd wake her up and she'd give me the stink eye then go back to sleep!

Epic nappies here - practically every one has been dirty and DH has just changed M before her feed. He's had to get the karcher out to clean off M's bum and her bedroom...the child can poo!

Happy night feeding everyone

Blargh not having a great night here - 4am and its my third night feed E has at least been settling straight afterwards but still.. Ugh.

I'd like to try out baby sensory. With DD1 I wanted to but never quite got round to it so hoping I can find the time to do it this time!

mrse hope C has settled ok. And time hope C has had a better night too.

Hi all! I've been reading but not managing to post!

beaut I hope you're ok as can be expected. Your DH sounds like a dick. I can't believe at baby no 4 he decides he wants his old life back! Hope you have lots of RL support

mrse hope C is ok. I'm dreading the jabs. May make sure DH is about, rather than at work as managing poorly baby and toddler will be tricky! With DD she slept a lot after the first set and was poorly after the third, but they didn't include the meningitis one.

time it sounds like more reflux meds may be needed? Please do go back to your Drs. I hope you're ok and getting some sleep. Re weight, they tend to recommend weighing every 2 weeks, rather than daily.

embolio your list was v useful for me too! I've just started to work out that it's when DS gets over tired that he gets his screaming hours! I do feel like I spend most of the day trying to get him to sleep, but know this stage doesn't last long.

I LOVE baby sensory! We did our first class this week and DS slept from 10-7am with just one 40 min wake up the following night, so we'll def be taking those classes

Glad my post was a bit helpful, I remember it all too well! Every day I made it through reasonably mentally intact felt like a bonus! DD is a bit refluxy (grrr I deserve a non-refluxy baby surely??) too, but she's nowhere near what the boys were like and it makes such a difference.

I forgot also about elevating head of cot on books and keeping baby upright for half an hour after feeds. DD and DS2 like the sling (I have a connecta) but DS1 HATED it, with a passion, and didn't tolerate it at all.

DD has been awake a lot tonight but not really feeding - she's very snuffly and blocked up. We've all had the cold though so prob inevitable that she'd get it, poor thing.

Fx we are in the sleepy jab stage now. C fed for 45 mins at 12.30 then slept till 6 I on the other hand had to get up to pump as she only had one boob and the other was super uncomfortable. She was just feeding but had a poor latch so I took her off and she has promptly fallen asleep, she's only had a few mins so I expect it will be a cat nap before she realises breakfast wasn't very satisfying!

Hope everyone's ok. It took me ages to get Nancy to sleep last night and I honestly thought I was going to collapse with exhaustion. I haven't really been eating and I don't know if that's affecting milk supply.

I'm so upset this morning. I loved my life and thought we had it all. Just want all this to go away.

I haven't even heard from him!

Hi all, not had time to post recently as Ollie is keeping me busy, been reading the thread when I can though.

Beautiful, so sorry to hear your devastating news, your "D"H sounds like an utter bastard. The other ladies have given good advice so I'll just offer you and and a big virtual hug.

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time Time. It's so hard and heartbreaking when they cry and you can't do anything to help them isn't it. Ollie has had really unsettled evenings where he just screams recently so I know what you are going through. The medicine Dobby was thinking of starting with r is Ranitidine. It's really good for reflux (my friends baby had bad reflux and he said this changed his life!). It may be worth asking your GP for a prescription. Hope Calais has had a more settled night for you.xx

Oh and regarding snuffly noses, we got a nasal aspirator (the one we got was called a snuffle babe I think) that allows you to literally suck the snot out of their nose! Sounds (and is) gross but really works. We use the saline nasal spray and then suck big globs of snot out it's strangely satisfying.

Another one with a crappy night here. I think we have been spoiled with two weeks of at least a four hour sleep for the first part of the evening. Dh is working from home today but I just found him crashed out on the sofa. E doesn't seem as snuffly this morning and actually had a proper feed too which is good. I think we might get the snot pump though Doc. I ended up putting a towel under her matress last night to try and raise her head sightly. Forgot about doing it with books, I'll try that tonight.

Beaut I can't imagine what you are going through. I understand you don't want to eat much and can't but can you have some high energy snacks like bananas to keep you going?

Glad to hear positive comments about baby sensory. We are still going, I've managed to shower and straighten my hair and dress dd. It's pretty amazing how together you can look when underneath you are dying of tiredness.

Ooh mrsE glad to hear you got a good sleep post jabs. I'm holding onto your story as it is the most positive one post jabs I've heard!

Thanks girls. She finally dropped of for me about 9pm awake at 10 for a bottle and a straight back to sleep for 10:40. Up at 12:15 for a bottle which oh did and he got her back to sleep for 1:45 then she slept till 5:15 I gave her a bottle she went back at 6am for 45 minutes and then I failed to get her back to sleep until after her bottle at 8am. She's slept for 20 minutes and now awake again :(

I just feel such a failure. My oh can normally get to sleep her for hours at a time and I fail at more than just over an hour and I try a lot more times in the day than he does.
Why can he do it and not me ? We do exactly the same. I've seen him do it.
I know I'm the problem and I'm a useless mum so I should probably resign my self to the fact she will never sleep well for me and go back to work and let him be a stay at home dad because his obviously much better at this than me.
Started some kind of loose bed time routine yesterday to see if it helps her distinguish night and day. Basically we wash/bathe her after her last evening bottle what ever time that is as it varys when she wants it. Put her in her cot in the room and feed in the night with dim lighting and no radio etc and she doesn't come out the room till morning. The bedroom is next door to the lounge as we live in a flat and we used the baby monitor.

And she's crying again. .. better go

She's still having about seven/eight wees a day and one massive poo in the early hours of the morning. She's not dehydrated she's alert and well. All of this though is getting too much for me.
I honestly want to swap with my oh and just go back to work for the break in the day. I can cope with work when tired but I can't cope with the constant crying/re settling all day long when I'm exhausted

It has occurred to me reading your posts that I have never actively tried to get Jacob to sleep. Now you can totally tell me to bugger off as I appreciate we may have a naturally sleepy baby but J just fits into our day. We don't work around him. Our days are pretty busy and he is in and out of the car, visiting various people, doing errands etc.
I'm just wondering time that if you plan a day with lots to do- shopping, visit friends, etc stuff for you and just take C with you and see what happens. Obviously this won't help with reflux issues but lots of great advice on here. Really hope it gets better for you lovely.

^ fully agree with Rhu. C is as quiet as a church mouse when we're out unless he's hungry, but a bit more lively at home!

Oh yea.
She normally loves the carry cot as long as it's on a wonky pavement. She loves a bus journey to ( we don't drive )
Bless her. I just had a look threw of the photos of the day she was born and oh my goodness it's like looking at a different baby now. I can't believe how quickly it's gone already. Even if it is hard work it's so rewarding and I need to remember that. It was all worth it when I got a couple smiles earlier ( just so nice to of seen her happy even for a few minutes )
Off out soon. Need to go to the bank and I'll probably have a coffee before meting oh in town when he finishes work. Managed a shower and she's slept since 10 I think a record so hopefully she'll be less grumpy soon.

C is with her nanny all day Monday as me and oh are off to see our football team play. First time this season!

Thanks for all the reflux suggestions. I truly appreciate it.
We defo have to work around Calais. She doesn't just fit in lol. She did when first born but when she hit her actual due date she changed completely and become a lot more fussy. I read crying peaks at 6-8 weeks. And she's 6 weeks adjusted tomorrow but actually was ten weeks Tuesday

I can't believe c has her next set of jabs in two weeks to. Poor things. They don't get much respite do they. Jesus she'll be 3 months old then! 3 months!