February 2016 - our babies are here!

[IslaMann]

New group for those graduating the ante-natal thread

DS is 2 months old now and screams day and night. The last few weeks I'm getting 1-2 hours sleep total broken into 10/20 minute segments. I rarely get to eat until DH has come home. I'm not going to be able to go on like this for much longer. He's not gaining weight, he doesn't smile, never plays on a playmat or anything and I'm starting to think there's something seriously wrong with him. Nothing I do can comfort the pain he's in and the doctors just shrug their shoulders and say it will pass with age.

Sorry I meant to write a longer post yesterday but had to run off to some baby or toddler related emergency or another.

haq a bit of my nipple went black and fell off, about the second week or so. There doesn't seem to have been any lasting effects or damage though, just a little dent in my nipple Then again I'm not using them much now either so that might have helped with the healing

To all struggling with breastfeeding a persevering, I salute you. Three times now I've attempted it and failed not been able to establish it properly. I have to move on from this mentally or I'm in danger of getting bogged down and isolating myself from anywhere that breastfeeding is ever mentioned which is what happened with DS1 and I don't want it to happen again.

mawsy surely if he's not gaining weight they have to take you more seriously? What do you think it is? Reflux or something more? No you can't carry on with one or two hours broken sleep a night What support have you got? and for you xx

Big hugs mawsy don't know what to suggest beyond trust your instincts if you think something isn't right and keep on at the doctors and health visitor. Are you bf or ff? Could there be a problem with reflux or cows milk intolerance??? Really hope things improve soon...

Soinds scary chick glad he's on the mend!

Dh is working today and things aren't going well! Bad night with unsettled baby, both children now grumpy and the cats were locked in overnight with no litter trays so inevitable mess to clear up this morning. Grrrrr. Really need to come up with something nice to do to cheer us up! Either that or hit the gin..

mawsy I truly feel for you, that sounds horrendous. Have you got support nearby other than DH? This might sound weird but have you considered taking baby to a cranial osteopath? I've heard really good stories about unsettled babies having a couple of treatments and calming down a little. We took ds2 last week and it made a big difference as he hated lying on his back. I went as well as my pelvis was horribly twisted after the labour and it's also been incredible for me. Obv it might not be for you, but if the Dr isn't listening it might be worth trying a different avenue. Until then do you have someone who can take him for an hour or two while you sleep/eat? Also it might be worthwhile considering getting some mental health support for yourself if you're struggling to keep going.

maisie I didn't think I'd find breastfeeding quite this hard (naive old me) and I think I'm having an easy time of it compared to others. Are you ebf now or ff?

cud what a morning for you!!

We're just on our way south, the drive is going quite well surprisingly (but I'm not driving!). It did take us 3 hours to pack the car to go away for one night with bubs though... The car is full of baby and his entourage

I finally graduated! Although baby midnight actually appeared on 3/3/16 so not technically a February baby.

Baby girl weighing 7lbs 3oz. Waters went in my sleep at 12.30am and she entered the world at 12.16pm. Gas, air and morphine.. If I ever think of giving birth again I will be signing up for an epidural straight away!! 2 stitches and a stay over night but home yesterday. Baby didn't sleep last night at all. And after a great first day of feeding, my nipples are now swollen, agony, and baby has stopped latching as they are too swollen for her. Milk is definitely coming in too.

So I expressed a good amount of colostrum this morning and using a bottle just dropped it in to her mouth rather than giving her a bottle so I don't confuse her.. Anyone got any ideas or is this okay? Midwife due later today so I'll ask what she thinks but after a night of screaming windy baby, I decided something was better than nothing!

mawsy really feeling for you, have a look into baby reiki as well, it may help the unsettledness (that's not a word sorry brain isn't functioning today) try and get some snacks in that you can grab out of the cupboard, you need to keep your strength up. Definitely keep badgering the Drs and hv too.

midnight congratulations!!! Try expressing a little before each feed to soften your boobs which will help dd latch on, you can do this by hand or with a pump, a hot flannel may help if you are doing it by hand. The hv said you can always give a small amount of milk out of a small sterilised cup to bf babies so it may be worth giving that a try. My ds takes expressed milk from a bottle and goes back to the breast with no issues but I know I am lucky that he does.

confused do they know what caused the infection? Hope everything is ok now.

Good luck with your journey haq hope you have a good time when you get there.

Congratulations midnight! So pleased she finally landed
Ref the feeding, with both DCs we've given bottles from the off (partly for practical reasons and partly to ensure they will take a bottle as it's a necessity given DP does half the 'maternity' leave) and we've not had an issue with nipple confusion at all.

No they don't know what caused the infection - wish they did . Apparently it's a skin infection though that had somehow gotten under the skin. Really hope it doesn't come back though.

It's hard enough looking after a healthy new born!

Mawsy, just to reassure on some points, my DS didn't smile til gone 8 weeks and has no interest in his playmat til nearer ten. The screaming/lack of weight gain sounds like silent reflux and/or allergies- has he been checked out for these? The other option is colic?
Also, can your DH-or anyone else for that matter- give a bottle (formula or ebm) so you can get some sleep? The lack of sleep will be making you unwell.
for you as it sounds like you're having an incredibly difficult time. Hope you can get some more support through the HV.

Hospital midwives were really quite aggressive about BF so I didn't feel confident enough to do anything other than grit through the pain. Community midwife came out this afternoon though and checked baby latch and feeding, no problems there except one swollen nipple that DD's mouth is too small for, and not a great supply from the other side so she said absolutely to try expressing and even topping up feeds with formula if needed.. Whatever gets dd fed is the most important thing. So dd has done a mix of breast and bottle today, and I'm hoping that continuing to express but also give breast alternatively will work and she won't get nipple confusion.

Gosh a lack of sleep just sends you crazy! Anyone else finding that a 2 second trip to the loo now takes 5 hours to accomplish..

Already had a look through the thread last night and it was such a help to read everyone's thoughts and experiences on feeding already, your all godsends with your real life stories!

Sadly that's the case midnight: instead of being supportive, some HCPs do tip into forcing the 'bf is the only way' agenda. I'm personally a big fan of bf, for me, but by far and away the most important things are that the baby is fed, and that the mother's right to make her own decision is respected.

Can I just wish everyone a very Happy Mothers Day, you're all doing an amazing job

Thanks isla! I'll second that! Happy Mother's Day to you all

The lack of sleep is so hard. I can't believe I've done it for the second time!

Happy mothers day all

These early weeks are tough and you're all doing brilliantly

Am v impressed by all the long distance travelling and surviving on no sleep and coping with partners who aren't always stepping up to the mark and dealing with poorly babies or feeding difficulties. You definitely deserve and and and

Congratulations midnight!! So pleased for you :) I'm also past the community midwives have been helpful with the breastfeeding. How's it going now?

Happy belated mothers day! I echo cud's sentiment - you're all incredible mothers dealing with complex changes in life as well as looking after a demanding tiny human who knows no reason! Really hope you had good days.

It was wonderful seeing my grandparents with my mum there as well. My nana is pretty ill and was over the moon to have lasted long enough to meet him (her words). Mothers day: beautiful card from DH and flowers from my mum. Baby's mothers day present to me was a 5 hour sleep followed by a 3 hour sleep in the travelodge cot that we thought would be too big and too hard! I almost jumped for joy in the morning but ultimately felt worse for the extra sleep! Then a massive argument with DH that is luckily resolved with steps moving forward. Bit traumatic though, we usually work things out on the hoof rather than arguing. And lots of people congratulating me on my first mother's day when actually it's my second (first with living baby) and everyone ignored it last year. So an eventful, beautiful, bittersweet mothers day.

I was going to ask how glamorous Solihull was haquoi, glad you made it! We got back at midnight last night- journeys were a bit stressful, as DD isn't as easy a traveller at this age as her brother, but we survived and it could have been worse.
And what better way to spend Mothers' Day than seven hours on the motorway...
Clearly a really mixed day emotionally for you.

I guess lots of us will have had mixed feelings given everything from sleep deprivation/exhaustion, to family circumstances. It was my Mum's first Mothers' Day without her Mum, but with the addition of grandchild no.2.

And I have certainly been indulging in the cud, hope you have too!

Mawsy I really feel for you. Ds was the same. No one believed me just how bad it was, he screamed constantly and didn't sleep. It used to take over 2 hours of screaming to settle him to sleep and then he slept for 20-40 mins max. Never a peaceful sleep either. I was so worn down by it that I didn't have the energy to badger the drs but I am sure he had reflux or something.

I felt myself losing patience with dd this eve when she wouldn't settle, was rooting then not feeding, crying but not able to calm her. Picked her up a bit roughly and it brought it all back to me what it was like with ds, I don't know how I survived it. I don't have any tips for you I'm afraid because nothing worked other than time but I do remember my sister saying to me 'look if he's going to scream anyway then you can put him down for 2 minutes to make a sandwich/ go to the loo'

If you have the energy then please do keep going to the drs and pushing for answers, also make sure you let them know you are finding it tough to cope with, it would flatten anyone to go through that.

Big hugs to you

Thanks chinchilla

chick rally pleased that got picked up on, it sounds quite frightening!

We haven't heard from a few people recently: madsaz, handbag, newlywed, clara - I'm sure I've missed some people, but this is to you too - how're you all getting on?

troika, really sorry you went through all of that. How is your ds now?

Thanks haquoi. He's 8 now so it was a long time ago but I still remember the utter exhaustion and despair of there being something wrong with my baby but no one acknowledging it. It's strange how I had such a visceral reaction to dd being difficult to settle last night, I was transported straight back there and had to really take a deep breath and remind myself this was a different baby and a temporary blip. He's still fairly high needs but way way easier than he was, he gradually got better with age- when he started walking and talking especially. That's going to seem a long way off for Mawsy though. There used to be a high needs baby support thread, don't know if there still is one but it helped if only knowing I wasn't the only one with a screaming non sleeping velcro baby.

Must read through all the other posts properly, only got as far as Mawsy yesterday.

So I'm horrible about posting but having 4 kids now I think I have an excuse.

Had my little miss on the 21st of Feb. After 40 hours of labor. Long story short: I had scar pain with my contractions so they kept me to labor in the hospital just in case. I was there 3 days before she came. In the end they were planning to use forceps and give me an episiotomy unless I could push her out before they set everything up. I pushed like a mad woman and had her in 5 minutes.

We named her Olive Grace Louise and she was 7 pounds 5 ounces of utter cuteness. She's 2 weeks old now and a very calm, easy going baby. She's eating well (BFing is going ok- painful still but everything checks out ok) She is starting to have more awake periods during the day and sleeping longer at night. Her sister and brothers are smitten. So far so good!

Aww beautiful!! Congratulations!

hi all

sorry for dropping out - opening my laptop has become a huge task which is mostly beyond me though am still managing facebook. I havent managed to read everything but a huge to everyone struggling with colic, reflux and breastfeeding. it is such an emotional rollercoaster - yesterday was ok, this evening DD inconsolable for 2 hours. just got her settled and typing with my left hAND! please forgive typos....

once i get logged in on my phone i suspect i will be back

Hello! Still here, just drowning in a cycle of pumping, bottle feeding, nappy changing... He's asleep and I'm alone so back on mumsnet! Have some questions...

1. DS is now 16 days old and still has his cord attached (just). Do we really just leave it forever until it drops off or should I be mentioning it to the HV or Dr?

2. He spent yesterday evening and night wetting himself up his back. I googled and followed advice to put his willy down in his nappy, and tried size 2 nappies, but he went through 5 changes and nearly broke my spirit! Any advice? I think the cord is part of it - rolling down the top affects the position of the nappy - but we're changing at every feed so about every three hours and I can't keep changing his whole outfit!

3. Trying to get him back to latching and breastfeeding to reduce the need for pumping - bottle feeding. Does this mean I now have to breast feed - pump - bottle feed? Making it worse! Or can I drop some of the pumping if he is latching? We're taking it slowly but with nipple shields - he was sucking and swallowing today, very exciting! But is going to get worse before it gets better?

Really would appreciate advice from anyone on these. We're coping ok but things could be smoother if I knew what I was doing!

Hi handbag

Don't know answer to everything. 1 is yes leave it unless it looks soggy or infected. 2 I have no experience of boys sorry.

3 depends on what the issues with latch are - is it purely positioning or is there an issue wih milk oversupply? If you get loads of milk may be worth expressing a couple of Oz first then feed, then if baby full finish by expressing more?