Mugabe Nights: sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your (sleep deprived) pain!

[mzzzf]

New thread ladies!
Buenos are still free, the bar tab is still open and you can leave your healthy living resolutions at the door!

Mzzzf I have no idea. Aidan frequently refuses naps with his big red shattered eyes staring back at me. I don't dare count up his total hours of sleep per day as they are so far off what he's supposed to have.

Shit isn't it Kbro?! I've tried all our normal soothing to nap tricks. I got to her at the right time, got the cues etc but still nothing!

Also ladies I wanted to say there is little point starting s proper workout regime until you're getting 6hrs min per night as your body will just breakdown further without adequate rest. Balls it all comes down to sleeping babies!!!

Not to say you can't do sporting stuff whilst waiting for the elusive 6hrs but hard running or weighs needs sleep too!

Mzzzf, to be fair, DH does help with evenings. He occasionally says he will do it all on his own, but I usually have to get involved because J gets hungry and there's no expressed milk left. That and he gets incredibly frustrated when J won't settle, so I feel bad leaving him to it.

Am experimenting with an early bedtime, so just feeding now. At the moment, I have been keeping J up later so DH can see him when he gets back from work, but I wonder if that's what is making him hard to settle. Fingers crossed

They are superb!!!! Does she take orders?! 😁

Frolic they are awesome! I asked my mum to make some for piper but she didn't do them how I wanted lol. Might have to show her these ones to show they can be done. I prefer them on boys though.

Loves poor baby loves. How is she now? I'm sure she did bounce. I leave piper all the time in compromising positions and keep thinking one day I'm gonna come back to her falling somewhere. Just in the last couple of days i decided to put her on the nth room floor surrounded by toys whir I shower. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. It's so much easier. She would always cry if I left her on the bed.

I keep telling her she should sell them. She makes things so quickly. Ds is also rocking a hat and booties from her in this picture.

I know exactly how you feel tindel. Ds is being a mare in the evenings again. He takes ages to settle. It's so demoralising. And it eats into the few hours I could spend with dh of an evening. Sorry you are going through it too. Hopefully the earlier bed will go well.

Your baby free time sounds fab kbro. And a good dose of reality for your dh as well 🙂

No idea what I will do with my freedom mzzf! Sleep maybe?
Truth is, I'm not that bothered about leaving him. But I was getting stressed about going back to work and leaving him over night later in the year. I'm like you in that I tend to do it all. Hopefully ds will get better at the bottle and I can let dh take over a bit more.
I think it will mean I feel a bit less trapped, even if I don't actually want to go anywhere without him. And he might eat a bit more when we're out and about as it will be easier to look around with the bottle.
Fingers crossed today's crap nap's was just a one off.

He's asleep, so I probably should be too. It's the Welsh version of Valentine's Day today - I hope you're all feeling the love ❤️

frolic those are amazing! I asked my mum if she could make some like that for DS but she hurt her finger a couple of years ago and she can't knit any more. :(

Has anyone else here had to find a childminder, BTW? I'm trying to find a place for DS now and I have no idea what I should be doing. Are there things I need to ask? I'm meeting one on Wednesday to see if I like her and think she'll get on with DS, but I don't know how to tell! How do I feel her out to make sure he's not going to pick up any funny ideas? We're quite brutally liberal (lots of gay and trans friends, tree hugging, refugee loving etc) and I'm terrified he's going to come home talking about how jesus hates fags or something. :(

Yippee frolic that's great news I know how hard it's been persuading him to have a bottle! And wow those pants are ace!!

Loves I have been leaving DS in the middle of our king size bed whilst in shower occasionally- mostly he's in his bouncy chair at the bathroom door so I can see him from the shower and talk to him but if he's looking like he'll go to sleep I put him on our bed- I'll be stopping now! That's scary! But I'm sure she'll be fine don't beat yourself up!

Mzzf my DH has hardly done anything baby related solo either he is stepping up and doing an 11pm dream feed now after I had a melt down and does bath time every evening and we take turns nipping up stairs if DS stirs whilst we are still up but he's only left the house solo with DS twice! I've just agreed to do a days training next Monday to keep my place on the bank so he's going to have him all day for the first time which could be interesting! Hopefully he'll see it more from my PoV after that but knowing my luck DS will be a dream all day and go down for a thousand naps in 2 seconds and the dogs won't bark or fight all day!! Not that I'm wishing a bad day on him but I just want him to have more understanding hope that's not harsh!!!

Had my cousins funeral confirmed for Friday just need to sort out someone having ds I think our only option is FIL if he doesn't have conference calls on (works from home) but I'm a bit nervous about that as he's never been alone looking after DS. He's brill with him but mil usually takes over when they babysit and does his nappies and bottles etc and FIL just plays with him all the time so I'm a bit scared but maybe I'm being ridiculous!? Probably!

Siani I've no real advice over childminders but have to laugh at 'Jesus hates fags' 😂

So it appears DS likes to leave bigger gaps between bottles he had 0415, 0930, 1400 and 1830 today and will offer 2300 dream feed but drained them all as a result I think a lot of his fussing over the bottle and refusing has been created by me trying to still feed him 3 hourly- how guilty do I feel!! Bless him he's obviously been trying to tell me that and I've been so obsessed with getting enough milk in him I've been thrusting bottles at him too often, ironically now he's having fewer bottles he's drinking more milk in total! I must have got so anxious about him eating enough that I forgot all about my mainly baby led parenting beliefs! Duhhhh!

Siani - if your DS comes home saying that I think the bigger issue is how the fuck do you have a conversational 6 month old!!! 😁

Dd2 fell off the sofa yesterday. The moral of that story being don't leave a 2 year old in charge of a 4 month old... Also opened the car door on dd1's head and she has a massive egg on her forehead. Yep. I win at parenting...

We use a nursery not a childminder but things like expectations for food and naps are important. What to do about holidays. What kind of play (messy play, outdoor, gym etc). Screen time. Trips out. How many children are there. How will communication work - paper diary, online, photos etc. They all get inspected so should be on it for all the learning targets (sounds mad but there will be learning targets for babies). Our nursery are very baby led which was a big thing for us but lots of kids do better with structure. Mostly you want someone who really likes kids. You're paying so you get to say what you'd like (within reason obvs!)

I used to love doing weights. It's cardio I suck at! Anyway I'm just going to have to do one of those high impact exercise videos on YouTube because I haven't got longer than 20 mins. Not even sure I've got that!

Love the trousers, frolic. Too cute!

Started Breaking Bad this evening. Good so far. Good Wife is back on Thursday. Hurrah!

Hi siani, we used a childminder with grumpy 1 and our local council family information service had a great list of questions to ask, I've tried to copy it here: www.haringey.gov.uk/sites/haringeygovuk/files/questions_to_ask_your_childminder_update.pdf
Main thing for me was to see their home with minded children in it - you get a pretty good feel for their approach that way. We disregarded one who looked brilliant on paper because her house looked like a show home and the kids where only allowed in one room with a gate across it!

Anyway, hope this all helps, and good luck xx

frolic wow amazing outfit - Nana rocks! Hope you had lots of ❤️ yesterday

lily she was sound asleep when I left her in middle of bed and I never, ever wake a sleeping baby!! - no idea how I am going to get me and other DC organised on school mornings now - rely on babyloves being asleep and still!!

joskar haha you have made me feel so much better - I too am guilty of leaving toddler in charge of babyloves

slow I have used a childminder in the past and whilst I had a big list of questions and things to look for I went with the one I just really liked as a person and not who appeared best on paper. I only used her for one day a week for DD3 whilst I was doing a college course but she was great and we are still friends. I like to see how they interact with you and the baby and also personal recommendations if you can get them.

DD3 was saying a Scottish poem in front of the school yesterday for Burns Day. Sent her off looking extra smart with big tartan ribbons in her hair. Picked her up with one ribbon missing and the other undone and a big hole in each knee of her tights with big blue plasters on them. She fell in playground at lunchtime!! DD2 said she stood up in assembly in the afternoon in that lovely state to say the poem - cringe - sometimes I wonder why I bother?!

Joskar - have a go at 30 day shred on you tube. Start with part 1 (obvs!). It's a muscle builder and cake shifter too. I really need to do this and will be what I turn to once I'm getting more than 4hrs sleep a night. All done and dusted in 25mins!!!!

Loves - what a 'mare! Gaaaah I just thought I'm going to have to 'do' hair for school. I take it crew cuts are frowned upon 😉

Mzzzf - that's one of the reasons I'm quite glad I have a boy. Can barely style my own hair which is wiry, thick and very disobedient. Throw in the fact that DH has curly hair and if we had a girl, I think she would have to live with a shaved head or get someone else to do her hair in the mornings!

Loves - I always leave J in the middle of our bed, I occasionally wedge him into my feeding pillow, but he tends to slide off it. He is sound asleep at the moment, so am going for a speedy shower now!

Early bedtime was partially successful - he finally settled for the night around 930. DH was telling me when I should schedule his naps for - hah! Am so tempted to make him take the day off and see how he does it because I definitely can't!

Siani wait till she offers to make a cup of tea and then search the living room for a copy of the daily mail. Or more serious suggestion if you find one you like and ask if you could chat to some of the other parents she looks after kids for? You might get more of a sense of that kind of thing from them. Also remember no arrangement is set in stone and if at some point you find the childminder isn't matching your values you can change. My mum used to child mind and she always used to tell people that it's v important you feel comfortable with who is looking after your child and if at any point you feel it's not working she would never be offended as you have to do what feels right.

Went to yoga today. DS is the oldest baby by a good few weeks. Lots of mums talking about how well the babies are doing with sleep. Didn't tell them that DS used to be a pretty good sleeper and now is terrible. Still v lovely class. And fun way to start the day.

Right I need chocolate. All this talk of fitness is making me hungry.

I was going to come on and post about how much better I feel having had one 4 hour stretch last night. But I just microwaved a peg, so maybe I'm still in mombie mode after all 😬
Ds has just taken 2oz of formula from the magic bottle. No where near as good as gulping the ebm yesterday, but I'll keep going.

I only looked at one nursery siani. I stayed for ages and asked lots of questions about food, routine, activities etc. The most important thing for me was seeing the staff interact with Ds and other children there. It was great to see a little boy who needed a nap going to a staff member for cuddles before falling asleep happily. That spoke volumes. I also asked loads of questions of one little girl who was taking an interest in Ds. She was very positive about the place.
Can you try to see her with other mindee's around?
LOL at Jesus hates fags 😜
Get all you rainbow clothes on him, talk about your 'partner' and see if she reacts 🌈

I'll be thinking of you Friday lily. I took Ds to a wake when he was a few weeks old and it was fine. Many people were pleased to see him. Would it be an option for you to take him if you're not sure about fil? I'm sure he'd be fine either way.

I took a while to get into breaking bad jockstar, but really enjoyed it once I did.

I think I was a bit like your dd loves - always messing up my posh clothes. In pretty much every school photo I have wonky hair, food down my front or the like. There is also a great one of me aged 2, flashing my knickers. I thought it would stop him taking my photo, but I think every family member has a copy. My sister looks so angelic next to me with my grumpy face and towelling pants!

Yay for slight success on the early bedtime tindel 🙂 Definetly suggest to your dh that he should take a day off to see how he gets on.

Happy Tuesday mugabeans - I hope storm jonas isn't hitting too hard where you are.

Hello ladies! Sorry not posted in a while - busy few days! Sunday saw us rush our cat to the vets as he was hobbling around and hissing in pain. Turns out she thought he'd been in a cat fight and been bitten. Antibios and pain relief later, he seems better, poor thing. DS looked shocked by the whole trip!

We moved DS to his own room on Saturday and so far he seems to like it. The only thing that's harder is resettling after his 4.30-5am feed but daytime napping is good as I have my room back!! So the last two days I have managed to dress and have a peaceful coffee whilst DS has his first nap. Bliss! It might not last but I'm enjoying it whilst it does. I do miss him as well though at the same time!

Loves now DS can roll I'm really paranoid about everything! I can't leave him anywhere - I agree about the floor and the jumperoo is pretty good too! Jumperoo is also good for being able to grab a drink etc. with both hands!

I still don't know what I'm doing later in the year - we still have DS booked into a lovely nursery but I can't bear the thought of it. Work are also restructuring my role (which I only know second hand, nothing official yet...) so that makes it less and less appealing. I just don't want to leave this little guy.

Haha kbro I know we go to this baby group and all the mums there were saying how good their 3.5 month olds are at sleeping....just wait!!

I hope goes well on Friday Lily.

Went to baby sensory today which was really great, DS seemed to have fun, then managed to get home before the rain comes but the wind was terrible! I agreed to host my book club tomorrow and have just finished the book today but am now slightly concerned at having to cook for 8 people...eek.

My sitting in the dark waiting to stealth transfer update:
Crap naps again today but in a different way. Every 2jrs today she started the sleepy dance and fell asleep (joy!) but each nap only last 30-35mins. She had 4 of them so only 2hrs kip, and had Louis Vitton luggage worthy eye bags!! 😁 I tried different sleep locations (cot, sofa, me, sling) but all tiny naps. Curiouser and curiouser!!

MaGra - woohoo to him getting on down in his own room - awesome!! Does it feel strange not having him nearby? Try not to fret about the job, I'm an old hippy in believing that everything will work out like it's supposed to in the end, just follow what you want to do! But wtf are you thinking catering for 8?! Hope they all like dairylea Dunkers 😁

Frolic - 4hrs - YASSSS! Peg - div! Well done to the little dude for more bottle drinking. He'll be a pro in no time!!!
The storm is ridiculous up here. Super windy and hasn't stopped pouring all day, although that's not a total surprise being near Glasgow!!

Kbro - yes to daily mail hunting! Although I confess to reading the sidebar of shame on occasion 😳
And how weird is it to be in a position of knowledge re babies when faced with newer mums. Poor them having the 4 month sleep regression coming at them!

Tindel - DHs and their helpful suggestions are just fucking magical aren't they?! Maybe try "Really dear, id not thought to try more regular naps! Thankyou for your deep baby guru insight". Then flick the vickies at him behind his back. Sometimes you just need to go 'playground' on their arses!! 😬

Pretty much hooked on making a murderer, on episode 7 next! Bridge and breaking bad are next. Although I tried breaking bad before and only made it to the second episode - is it really worth persevering?

Magrat yay for the own room going well! DS has been in his about a month now and I still miss listening to him breathing!

Yes to 30 day shred thankyou for reminding me I have the dvd and will dig it out I used to smirk at the level 1 exercises whilst smashing the level 3 ones but i know they will kill me the state I'm in now! Definately second the weight lifting tips I used to love weights and also insanity another one I need to dig out but not just yet as I probably would pass out!!

Yessssss to breaking bad!! Stick with it seriously it gets amazzzzzzing! We watched it a couple of years ago and binge watched it on Netflix and it's ace I love it so much I sometimes wish I haven't seen it so I could watch iy again without knowing what goes on!

Well FIL is at a conference Friday so can't have DS anyways so now I'm a bit stuck what to do! DH has offered to stay home with him and miss the funeral but he knew her quite well too so I don't know what to do. I was going to take him like you say frolic but I spoke to my aunty who is also doing the service (vicar!!) and at first she said it would be fine and then rang me back after speaking to another relative who said no one else is bringing their little ones so I'm a bit stuck now.

Had a lovely day today went for lunch with my friend and her little girl (8 months) was lovely the babies were 'talking' to each other and grabbing each other's hands and faces and giggling it was too cute. Was also an amazing little cafe that does special hot chocs and coffees I had a creme brûlée cappuccino but next time I'm getting the dark hot choc with a shot of orange!! Mmmmmm!!

DS has been sooooo much happier today since I made his bottles bigger but more spaced out and has fallen into a great little schedule so o can easily fit food and bottles in too- thankyou DS!! He also seems to have just 'clicked' today with feeding himself he gobbled a ryvita with laughing cow cheese on it and actually swallowed a fair bit for once and then pretty much mastered a spoon to eat Greek yoghurt with prunes and kept handing it me back for more- very proud! Extremely messy though!!

Have sized up his nappies today to size 4 after he leaked twice in the night and again this afternoon after I had literally just changed it- he's a funny shape because the waist still has plenty space in the 3s- tabs nearly touching still but his bum must be long because it doesn't go high enough up his back! £3.85 for 50 size 4s in lidl though pretty impressed we use theirs anyway but they were reduced on 3s and 4s today. Hoepfully we'll have a better night tonight with no wet nappies waking him up- I had to full pj change him at 2am which he found Hilarious and started shrieking- rocking for an hour didn't get him back to sleep so he had his early morning bottle extra early at 3am!! Tired today!

As usual I've babbled too much so I'll stop!!

Lily I feel exactly the same about Breaking Bad. Hope one day when I'm older I've forgotten everything that happens so I can start again. Definitely persevere MzzF - but be warned once you're hooked it'll be another sleep stealer!

Has everyone else started weaning? We're gonna make a start this weekend... Going for baby-led after DP read a few pages of the book and decided he's an expert, we'll see how long that lasts after he sees the mess

Frolic those trousers are frickin' amazing. Can I please buy some from your Mum please?! She needs to get on Etsy pronto.

Hope babyLove recovered ok, and not-so-babyLove's knees recovered ok.

LOL to Mums of younger babies who think they've cracked the sleep thing. In the wee, dark hours of this morning when the sleep deprivation monkeys were getting to me I felt like I'd failed DS who used to sleep pretty well and has now regressed in every way possible. In the comforting light of day though I realised it's a baby thing and probably nothing I could have done would have stopped things from changing anyway.

Agree with the good advice above re childminders - particularly about watching them interact with other kids in their care. Ultimately I think you want someone you get on with. We've gone for nursery in the end as I couldn't find someone we were happy with.

Tried to do some work from home while looking after DS today. Poor little guy got a lot of jumparoo time and I perfected silent entertainment when he got bored while I was on a conference call. Perhaps I should consider a career change and become a mime

Have a good night all x

Breaking Bad is a real slow burner, but definitely worth sticking with. I would love to watch it again not knowing what was going to happen.

J is full of snot, so slept most of the day. Initially was quite pleased that he had had a decent nap in the morning, but when I had to wake him up for a feed before swimming and he then cried through most of the lesson and then passed out for another 2 hours, realised you can have too much of a good thing. Annoyingly, DH has just settled him with a bottle.

We are all signed up to a lovely nursery, I'm just can't bear the thought of leaving him. Am contemplating using the vast amount of leave I accrued to have Fridays off until Xmas - advantages of having him 5 weeks early, I guess!

Evening all,

clstow no weaning here yet. Grumpy 2 isn't 5 months until Thursday and I am planning on waiting until she is 6 months.

frolic hooray for good progress on the bottle front! Well done both of you for persevering and getting there in the end. Grumpy 2 is enjoying sipping from a cup at mealtimes now so there is progress of sorts here too. We are only giving her water at the moment though to get her competent with the cup.

magrat Ah, sorry to hear that you are still sad at the thought of going back to work. No advice really to offer on that front other than the old (but true) cliche that it really does get better once you are back in the swing of it. The end of mat leave is much worse when you are looking at it than it is when you are looking back at it from the other side iyswim?

joskar, loves glad that your DCs are okay but must confess that you have made me feel significantly better. I too am guilty of letting the 4yo 'mind' the baby. We haven't had any incidents yet, but judging by the enthusiastic way I found her pumping babies legs (apparently she was 'dancing') when I came back into the room from the loo today, it can only be a matter of time!

lily so sorry for your loss. Hope Friday goes well and you sort out some way to attend and also to care for DS.

Right, off to watch an episode of Homeland before crawling into bed. We too are massively guilty of abusing our evening priviledges and going to bed far too late. Grumpy 2 has taken to having a midnight-ish feed and the last two nights we have still been up for it - oops!