August 2015 - Jaffa cake wars and many Mugabe greetings to you!

[mzzzf]

New thread ladies - praying for a decent sleep tonight!!

Oh crikey mzzzf, I bet you weren't expecting that! Did you manage to calm him down/ease the fear? x

Well he's currently tidying the whole kitchen (surfaces an' all ladies!!) and busying himself. So I think the brief glimpse into the male psyche was just that, brief. My DH is especially crap at talking emotionally, so now it's been blurted out he'll push the rest of the emotions aside and carry on like a trooper. He's a fixer/solutions guy at work so being unable to sort problems at home is really hard for him. I totally get that and told him so but also that unfortunately this is how it is now and we need to deal with it. I'm sure it'll get better when she is in a routine but that won't properly emerge for a while yet....

On a lighter note - Can you believe it's back to the future day today?!

Extra info: and my goodness I feel for him with this but it kills him mini mzzzf prefers me to soothe her and recognises me etc but he doesn't get that from her. In fact she cries often on him and it breaks his heart. Oh my darling poor husband man - when do babies love dad as much?!

Oh crikey! What an evening - I like the fact you're getting a clean kitchen out of it though
Molly is exactly the same! I'm the only one that manages to soothe her (most of the time!!). I really hope it doesn't upset him that much. We've got into the habit of me feeding and when she's super drowsy to transfer her to him so she gets more used to his body, smell etc...don't know if it's working yet. I have gently nudged him into singing to her and stuff and even doing silly voices talking about his day and he's started doing that and it's so sweet! I make a big play of 'daddy's home' too x

And yes, it being back to the future day is making me feel very old!!

How crazy is the back to the future thing!

Poor mr mzzf. But at least you're getting a clean kitchen bonus!

Ds also struggles to settle well for dh. He's not having any of it tonight especially. But, has just stared doing massive smiles for dh when he brings me a cuppa in the morning - which is kind of making up for stealing his spot in the bed I think!

Omg Tindel I need that outfit! I love monsters inc/uni!!!

Frolic- DS hasn't been sleepy with his second lot but his first lot he literally just slept only waking up to eat then going straight back off! It was actually the best he's ever slept!

Oh jeez mzzf that sounds heavy! At least he's got it out in the open, I know what you mean about him not showing his emotions mine is like that and also unsympathetic- he can't get his head round crying at all (post natal crying was baffling to him!). Plus he may well help out more that he's realised how tough it is for you!

I've just passed mine some formula pots and a tea towel to dry up whilst he was sat gawping at the TV and said 'make yourself useful' whilst I packed the dishwasher, wiped round and washed up and he said 'sorry I'm knackered from work' to which I just laughed and he got all defensive! I'm now full of a cold and knackered myself but I'm not sat on my arse!!!

I think maybe we should make our other halves read that link Clstow shared that might get it into
Their heads!

Frolic I'm jealous you get brought a cuppa!! Lol! Gosh I really need to stop whingeing about my DH don't I?! I bet you all thing he's a prize prick! He's not he's lovely he just is a certain way!

I know what you guys mean about being able to settle them better- DH does have a few tricks that work that I can't do and generally DS isn't a fussy baby and will go to anyone but when he does get overtired and hysterical its me that can settle him. He's a very smiley boy though and DH does the silliest high pitch voices that make him absolutely beam and I think DH likes it now he's getting more responses from him!

Right I'm off to bed so muxh for me going up when DS did tonight! Didn't help that DH was on a late so I will vow to do it tommorrow instead! Baby massage followed by a costa chill tommorrow for me!

frolic DS had a massive nap immediately after his, before the fever came up, but he usually has aa big nap in the middle of the day.

mzzf mine can't settle DS either. He is good at playing with him, though, so I'm trying to get him doing more of that to build a bond. The past week or soso, as DS gets more active and self aware, it's seemed better. My OH got his "oh god I can't cope" meltdown in a few weeks back, and the fact that he couldn't settle DS was definitely a contributing factor. Since then the fussing is more often about boredom and not always feeding, so he feels much more useful and loved I think.

DH is pretty good at settling J - he just does stuff I'd rather he didn't. A good example is this evening - we've been keeping him upright after feeds to reduce trapped wind and spit-ups. I feed him and pass him to DH who decides he needs calming, so jiggles him on his lap for 20 minutes. J was calm, then threw half his feed up!

Lily the outfit came from the Disney store. Am tempted to go and see what else they have there

I actually did send my DH Clstows link, he was laughing too! Tbh mine has been really lovely so I can't complain too much at all really.
The beast had her last feed at 8:20, rejected a dream feed two hours later and has just been.grumbling and not crying for a bit so I've decided to feed her anyway at 3am because I couldn't stand the crashing around any longer - that's over 6hrs! Woohoo, hopefully she'll go back down ok too! What a relief after the last couple of nights!

Mugabe morning all!

Well, ds slept 12-4, had a quick 10 minute feed and went back down until 6:30. Not bad at all. He woke up with a very full, very squidgy nappy (bad mum didn't hear it happen).
I can't decide wither to give any more paracetamol. He's really grizzling, but this would take him up to the max dose and then he couldn't have any more until 2:30. I'm torn between giving it to him now or waiting to see if he settles in case he starts screaming again later on.

I actually get bought a cuppa and toast most mornings lily . He started when I had hyperemesis as it helped to eat an hour or so before getting up. I'm not sure why he's still doing it really, but I'm definitely not going to question it!

Yippee for 6 hours fanby! I hope you got more after as well.

Happy Thursday everyone! I hope there was plenty of sleep to be had last night.

Mugabe everyone.

Good sleep here, grumpy 2 went down at 10:30pm and woke up 5:30am. Is now asleep in my lap but am not stressing as yay! It's finally the school holidays!

Had a big heart to heart with grumpy 1 last night to try to get to the bottom of the massive tantrums. Turns out that despite loving her little sister very much she sometimes wishes she wasn't here as she misses her Mummy. Apparently she was too scared to tell us this incase we were cross with her. Felt rather heartbroken and pretty much like the crappest parent ever. We assumed she was struggling with all the change and we thought we were doing enough to compensate, but she is so good at putting on a brave little face we didn't realise quite how much it was affecting her . Operation cuddle the big one starts in earnest today...

In terms of settling DH and I very much have our set roles. He does nights and I do days. He's always settled both girls after night feeds right from day 1 (even if I do have to kick him awake to do it!)

It's interesting now grumpy 1 is 4. If she is bothered by anything at nighttime she always goes to Daddy whereas during daytime Mummy is best. When we are both around we have always operated on the basis that if it isn't a breastfeeding matter then we are interchangeable, it's hard for him having to go off to work though. In an ideal world we'd both work pt.

frolic your DH sounds lovely. Keep the tea and toast habit up now you've established it

fatty and lily the baby group thing is weird. Left to my own devices I definitely wouldn't initiate conversation with random strangers. But loneliness and boredom do weird things to you! With grumpy 1 I went to a lot of stuff in London, mainly at the sure start centre and met some nice friends. Since moving up here though I haven't been able to. The area we are in is quite posh and the baby groups are very cliquey and actually have waiting lists!

One thing I've learned from these threads is that it seems most men are the sake. I used to think I was the only one with a useless lazy selfish man but I know I'm not now. Not that they're always useless lazy and selfish though of course. That's just the extreme version of how I feel about him sometime . It's his birthday today though and I've no got him a present oops. I've bought a vest that says daddy's little flower on it though so I'm going to take a picture of her as his present.

Hope ds is alright today frolic. Piper was sleepy the day after hers as well but otherwise ok.

Fanby did u have a better night? I can imagine going backwards in the way of sleep must be really hard. Enjoy your lid treats.

I confess to eating a whole bar of yorkie yesterday lol. It's weigh day at weightwatchers today so I'm usually extra good the day before but I was hungry and it looked so tasty. I'm sure I'll be eating something naughty tonight for dps birthday too. Might get him a cake :) it's all about balance though isn't it heehe.
I'm on operation try to wean off nipple shields and it bloody hurts! Although she can actually latch on now and take in milk, she still must do it right otherwise it wouldn't hur . I've got big boobs and little nipples though so I think that's what the problem is. Also she's starting to prefer no nipple shield because she gets the milk instantly so gets mad with the shield when I want to use it to stop the pain. Maybe they just need to toughen up a bit.

I'd love to get my evenings back and have dd in bed but she just won't have it. I wouldn't mind if dp held her more but he'll play with her for a bit and then she'll cry so he'll pass her back. I just feel a bit claustrophobic in the evenings. She won't be put down while I eat my dinner either.

Last night I started giving her nightime bottle while dp got ready for bed and she suddenly started crying but tat cry where they go bright red and hold their breathe. It felt like she held it for ages so I started panicking and shouting her name to make her breathe again. It was horrible and I don't even know why she did it. Dp came and took her off me and she started taking her bottle for him . I double checked the temp and it was perfect. He said that he must have the magic touch because she was fine with him. I so nearly cried because that is a horrible thing to say. I hadn't done anything to make her cry like that so I have no idea why she did. It was like she'd been hurt but she can't have been.

Anyway she's slept alight for me to make up for it. She even has her cloth nappy on which I thought had been causing her to wake earlier because it feels wet unlike disposables but obv it's not bothered her.

Frolic in regards to cloth, someone suggested to me just trying one a day to start with so u can get a feel for them. I found that helped make it seem less daunting as I'd been scared to start using mine and kept putting it off. So far it's been going ok. I've even had a poo explosion in them and that was fine too. It was contained in the wrap so didn't go onto her clothes which I think was a good test. I reckon in a disposable it would have done. Which nappies have u got to try?

Morning everyone. Bad night here unfortunately. Think we might have teething as Dentinox definitely helped and the fist was being sucked ferociously.

Yy to DH not being able to settle the baby. He thinks he's just more attached to me for comfort so settles quicker which is true but it would be lovely to get a break sometimes.

Also the drudgery of being at home gets to me too. I have a huge list of things that need doing but that don't seem to get done as I just put them off. I am not a natural homemaker or whatever it is they say in America!

We're going swimming this morning as DD is at nursery. Hopefully it will wear him out so we can both sleep in the day. DH said I should stay home more and try to rest but I need to get put for my own sanity. I don't think he realises how long the days feel if you don't.

Missed 2 big posts - slow, we had that same chat with DD too. It is heartbreaking because you feel like you don't have enough time for either let alone both.

Dozy, that was a mean thing to say buy I'm sure he didn't mean it as criticism of you just pleased with himself. We sometimes get that cry too and don't have a clue why. Could be trapped wind as always seems to be feed related.

Dozy we've also had that cry. The first time it happened was when I was putting him in his cot and I convinced myself I must have hurt him and thought we were going to have to go to A and E. Crazy mummy. The few times we've had it since have also been around feeding so think its probably wind related. The movement of passing her to your dp may well have moved some trapped air or something. That was a v mean thing of your dp to say but like Nolonger says, am sure was just pleased with himself for helping.

DH is getting better at settling Aidan although if he is really upset he does want me. We also do the pass him over when v sleepy and fed to help him get used to DH. And fanby I also make a big thing of 'daddy's home'. Am sure both DS and DH are thinking am mad but I hope it's helping them bond.

Mzzzf pleased you and your hubby have talked about it all. My DH is terrible for bottling things up and not talking but suspect he is having a lot of the same feelings. Must admit until reading this today I'd never thought about what it must be like to have a baby in the house that always wants the other person.

Ok terrible confession. Despite my mornings about DH on here I must admit he also brings me tea and toast every day in bed and has done since I moved in with him 4 years ago. I know. Am a spoilt princess.

Now can whoever it was that put their washing out please take it back in. This rain is rubbish.

Oh clstow that link is perfect. Made me want to laugh and cry. Def sending to DH. I have done the act of going to the shop for one thing and coming back without it!!

We had another hour of sleep without giving him the paracetamol. He's still a bit grizzly and grumpy, but must be over the worse as the screaming has stopped. He's also let me put him in his bouncy chair to watch some baby sensory on you tube so I can do some housework mumsnet. He's currently conducting the flight of the bumblebee with a very grumpy face. Super cute!

Please don't beat yourself up slow. Dd1's feelings are completely normal and to be expected. It is absolutely fab that she was able to verbalise them and feel able to tell you at such a tender age. You should be very proud of her and yourself for that. So many children are not that emotionally literate at that age. (Sorry if that sounds patronising - I work as a child therapist and felt it was important to say.) lots of cuddles sound like a great plan.
My dh is indeed lovely, and I'm totally never going to let him stop bringing me toast in bed

Good luck with the weigh in today dozy. The battery in our scales has died so I'm back in denial!
What piper had last night sounds very much like ds when he gets wind. I hope she's ok now. I'm sure your dp was just pleased with himself and didn't mean to hurt you by saying that.
Thanks for the cloth nappy tips. I've just been lazy really and my mum keeps buying us packs of disposables. We have a busy 1/2 term next week helping my sister out with dn's as her fil passed away this week. After that I'm going to start using them. I think the ones we have are mostly bambino mio.

Enjoy the swimming nolonger. I can't believe we have another teething baby on the thread. Were they not just born yesterday?!

Glad I'm not the only spoilt one on the thread kbro! I have the washing out, but it's lovely and sunny hear so I'm definetly not bringing it in!

Have a good day everyone.

Yes we've fallen into the trap of me being better able to settle ds too. Just because I'm around more and I can't bear to hear ds cry while DH forces the dummy into his mouth. He doesn't seem to get that the dummy might help soothe to sleep but isn't actually a plug. He's also not confident holding ds upright or moving around with him because DH has a bad back.

We had a slightly better night. Ds decided he only wanted to sleep with a boob in his mouth, so I fed him to sleep three times only for him to wake screaming after ten mins once I put him down. Eventually I waited with him sleeping on mefor half an hour until he was really fast asleep and did the Ninja transfer about 9.30. Then woke at around 12.00, 05.15 and 08.30. Took a flask of herbal tea with me to help my insomnia and left him with DH after 6 and went to sleep downstairs as he chunters on for ages after his early morning feed even though he's basically asleep.

Dozy are there any bf support groups you can get to? They really helped me with positioning etc. Also I moved off nipple shields slowly - one breast was fine quite quickly but I used them on the other for much longer. There's some truth to toughening up too, it now doesn't hurt at all. That screaming sounds scary too.

I've more or less given up on the cloth nappies. Another confession and ruins any eco credentials. I just can't work them out and they seem to leak so easily. Might come back when I feel a bit more resilient. All about the easy life right now.

Ds is once again having his nap on me but after yesterday's meltdown getting a nap in is more important than where it is. We are at least upstairs next to his crib. That's progress right?

Morning all!
After a week of very average sleep we finally had a good one last night, had a 5hr stretch (he's recently only been doing 2/3) plus actually slept past 5am! Gives me hope! He had no long naps yesterday though (longest was 40min) so I do wonder if that meant he was extra tired-I know they say sleep breeds sleep but I'm not sure it always does in the case of my baby!!

I've been using cloth nappies too but use a disposable overnight and also when out and about to make things easier for myself. We bought a mixture of different brands to see what ones work best-milovia seem good as they are super fast drying and fairly slim fitting.

Frolic-baby sensory on YouTube, am I missing something here never heard of it-off to investigate!

ruby - this is ds' favourite - it mesmerises him. I've already confessed to lazy parenting haven't I?!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=rAhYv6NdmLo

Hi all,

I had a baby in early August so hope it's ok to join this thread?

Slow - I have a 4yo too and exactly the same problem, she loves her baby but says she misses mummy or 'mummy you're always changing nappies'. It's heartbreaking! I do try to spend 'quality' time with her but it's hard when you're so tired all the time. I keep trying to tell myself not to be grumpy! CBeebies is used a lot, as is colouring and fairy cake making...

I haven't got baby into a routine yet, some days I'm up early taking dd1 to her morning nursery sessions, some days I'm busy with housework or can sneak in getting up a bit late etc so pretty hard to get a routine yet. Plus baby seems to sleep at random times for random lengths still (11wo). She still sleeps best on me or in the sling, though she's improved at night and only wakes once or twice, we co sleep. Need to persuade her to bf laying down, she doesn't seem to like it and wants to be picked up...

Hope all doing ok!

Welcome Giraffes!

Ruby- the baby sensory is good I tried it with DS as part of playtime on Frolic's recommendation- he was mesmerised also!

Effin- napping next to the crib is definately progress!

Tindel I shall defo be heading to the Disney store on pay day then! I love it!

Frolic- can your DH have a word with mine please! Definately don't point out he doesn't need to do it anymore that's amazing! I've always been ridiculously independent which has suited me just fine but as a result DH doesn't think about doing things like that- although there was the flake thing the other day! Bless him!

Dozy- you're definately right about these threads revealing all men are the same! What a nasty thing for him to say though!

Slowife- don't beat yourself up about what grumpy1 said you are doing a fantastic job- as we've all said before I don't know how anyone manages with 2 or more!

No longer- I know what you mean about needing to be out and about! I was stressed out running out the house this morning to get to baby massage on time and whilst driving there thought maybe I should ease up on the number of groups I go to but I know I'd only feel miserable like I did yesterday if I did! I can't win either way! Lol!

Bumped into a friend in Costa after baby massage which was nice and we're going to meet up more often now.

Got to go sorry if one not replied to anyone- DS is just waking from a mammoth nap and is clearly starving! I will be back later to tell the tale of how my life is turning into a real life version of the movie 'bridesmaids'