August 2015 - Jaffa cake wars and many Mugabe greetings to you!

[mzzzf]

New thread ladies - praying for a decent sleep tonight!!

Hi giraffes and welcome. Grumpy 1 and I LOVE that book. Giles Andreae is a god in our house. Did you read 'There's a house inside my Mummy' to your 4 year old when you were preggers?

Effin don't stress about the cloth nappies. Just go back to them in time when you feel like you've got the extra capacity to deal. I found with grumpy 1 that we only really got going with them when she was about 3 months. Which ones are you using? I never found that the all-in-one type held anything in (Tots Bots etc) so I use two part nappies (Motherease) a shaped terry nappy with a waterproof wrap over the top. They are fab, dry really quickly and would hold in an avalanche.

frolic thank you, thank you, thank you. Not patronising at all. Really appreciate you sharing your professional opinion. Today we are having a lovely low key start to half term, a trip to the library to get books and DVDs and a drink in the Cathedral refectory (a real treat for grumpy 1). I've made a massive effort not to always prioritise grumpy 2's grumblings and also to stop using language that includes her (so, "let's get our coats on quickly so we can get to the library while the sun is out", rather than "let's get our coats on quickly so your sister doesn't start to cry"). So far, so good, much calmer. I'm pleased it is the school holidays so I can really spend some time with her.

dozy a prattish thing for your DP to say, but I agree with everyone else that it came from a place of self-satisfaction with himself rather than criticism of you. Not that that makes you feel better at the time of course. It does rather tie in with what everyone has been saying about DPs feeling redundant. When something does go their way they do like to make a song and dance about it! . I had to use a nipple shield on the right side for a while. Weaning off it was agony, but well worth it - so much easier now. They do toughen up (eurgh, a horrible thought). Eat plenty of Yorkie while you are getting there.

lily I cannot wait for the 'Bridesmaids' update. Do tell all!

Sorry if I have missed anyone, catch up again laters x

BTW not my washing today Southerners. Its glorious in the North!

Ha! Just when I thought I'd caught up!! Eventful morning/afternoon! Clinic for weigh in, went really well and they've said just to pop in when I feel like it from now on and I don't have to go fortnightly woohoo! Then we went to the cinema to see Suffragette-very good ladies! Although a couple of weepy scenes especially for new mums!! I shed more than one tear!!

Dozy-good luck with weigh in! Don't fret on what DP said, as someone said he's probably just pleased he managed to pacify her and wanted to shout about it xx

Slow wife - your DD sounds like such a cutie and you sound like you're doing an excellent job!! School holidays sound like they've come at a perfect time for you all!

Nolonger-hope swimming was good, can't wait to take molly!

Lily - can't wait to hear about your bridesmaid escapades!!

Frolic- glad he's doing ok post jabs!! I'm not wanting to go through this all over again in a few weeks lol! Keep up with youtube I say!!

Effin - excellent progress! I've lost the will with morning naps! Although we're another one who managed to fall asleep this morning on her playgym-I like to think she stared herself to sleep in her new outfit

Mugabe everyone. I've been out all day long. Went to get DS1 Minecraft Lego for his birthday next Wednesday. Need to order his cake tomorrow.

Nathan has been a greedy monkey and has wanted feeding every two hours! I wouldn't mind but these are 8 ounce bottles he's drinking.

Woooaaah - to the 8oz, that's phenomenal. Gearing up for a growth spurt?!

DH took us out today for some more culture vulture-ness. Neither of us are natural city dwellers, ordinarily you'd find us up a hillside somewhere, so we're trying to make the most of city living. Anyway it was a lovely family trip out and DD has been a charmer to her daddy today

Op solo nap is on hold for the moment until all of us get into a better frame of mind. I think I need to do more with DD, the thing is that even though I'm hilariously witty and gregarious on here in RL I just CBA and therefore come across either cold or shy - not the best for making friends... But I need to pull my finger out! Ugh why can't a few of you guys live nearby instead! Is anyone doing baby sensory classes? I'm deffo going to try baby cinema, especially for the new bond movie!! Hellooooo Daniel

Is anyone sticking to or implementing an actual routine?! I imagine for the ladies with more than one that a routine is set anyway from the other DCs but do you find that the babies slot in ok?! Basically I want to get DD more settled into a routine. She has a very loose one at the moment, led by her but I think for all our sakes we need a bit more structure now. Thoughts?

Look at all these playmat sleepers, I wish I had one of those-good work babies! Unfortunately my baby appears to need to cry and make a fuss before finally sleeping during the day, Is all very stressful! Every now and then he will fall asleep in the pram, car etc without a fuss bit they are few and far between! He also falls asleep feeding but then wakes after 10mins Ahh.

Wow fatty definitely sounds like a growth spurt-maybe means a good sleep tonight if he's feeding lots during the day?

Mzzzf no routine here apart from a bedtime routine (bath, feed bed) but I would love one! I've tried to implement various forms of routine but failed when DS doesn't go along with it haha. Interested to know if anyone else has managed to

Mugabe fatty!! That is some serious feeding!!

Ocado delivery man woke molly up and we were all settled on the sofa catching up with This Morning...still ive ordered enough crisps and chocolate in case there's some sort of nuclear explosion...

Ahh routine, dirty word atm. I'm too exhausted to make her sleep in her own bed in the evening so it's bath at 7, feed, sleep-but on us in the lounge then we all go to bed. Honestly probably causing myself pains later on down the line but atm she's so little and it stresses us out trying to get her to self settle in her bassinet...whoops x

Read that back - when we all go to bed she is put in her bassinet after a dream feed...

Lily you tease I can't wait to hear your bridesmaid tales...

Welcome Giraffes

Sorry to those who cried because of the link I shared! I think I'm just constantly reassured by knowing I'm not the only one finding this whole baby thing tough... That's why I love you lot too.

Ahh routine. There's a thought. I looked at the EASY routine by Tracey Hogg. Seemed less strict than Gina Ford but at the moment our lives are just based around feeds every 2-3 hours and DS needing a nap about 1.5 hours after he last woke up. Plus we do bath/boob/bed each evening, doesn't seem to matter what time we start, DS always falls asleep around 9 (this week anyway).

I am disgustingly jealous of those whose DCs fall asleep on the playmat. DS still demands sling for naps, though he did manage a whole 25 mins in the pushchair this morning so am vaguely hopeful that may be the start of him sleeping off me.

Gotta go, grizzly baby calling...

ruby my ds is exactly the same. Daytime sleep requires a lot of effort, max 40 mins unless in a sling, no sneaky playmat naps here. And we've started a bedtime routine but ds might actually sleep anywhere between one and three hours after that. I keep hoping for a routine to emerge but nothing stays the same from one day to the next. I don't want to just force a routine from a book as that sounds likely to be counter productive and just result in more battles. But I chatted to a woman today whose six month old was waking every hour overnight so I hope that's not what I'm storing up for myself!

Nice one on the weigh in fanby!

Fatty that sounds like one hungry boy. Hope he slows down overnight.

lily what a tease! Look forward to the update.

Well I went to bring your own baby choir this afternoon. Very weird but good fun. Including a version of prodigy 's Outer Space in harmony and in the round. Ds slept through my most excellent rapping section.

Welcome giraffes!

Good night and good luck to all

Went to the weigh in clinic today and DS is the same as last week. Am thinking that what I thought was crankiness was actually hunger and feel totally awful about it. Have upped the amount of each feed and changed the text size as he kept falling asleep during the feed making me think he was done but obvs not. He's still in the same centile but just so worried about him.

Teat not text!

Evening all, hope everyone has had a lovely day. The weather has been great today up here, amazing how much better everything seems when the sun is shining

Ah, the 'R' word. I've never understood why the idea of a routine has become such a negative concept. Not a scary Gina Ford style routine of course (that lady is bats) but just a little bit of gentle structure to help everyone better understand what they are supposed to be doing throughout the day. The best book I have found is 'Your Baby Week by Week' which just gives you basic ideas about what you might be able to expect from your baby each week from birth to 6 months so you can try to plan and anticipate around it.

As an example, the advice on bedtime really worked for us. Basically you just observe your child each evening to see what time they properly fall asleep (9pm for a lot of us!) and then start your bedtime routine half an hour before that. Once they are really familiar with the going to sleep cues then you can start moving the routine back in small increments until it is at a time that suits you. I really liked this kind of approach as it is still baby led but not to the exclusion of establishing some sort of order!

Speaking of which, need to dash off to help DH with bedtime

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0091910552/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1445538284&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=your+baby+week+by+week&dpPl=1&dpID=41TQwHZuvbL&ref=plSrch

Mugabe! My grumpy boy has slept or whinged all day. I miss his little smiles .

Did you say routine mzzf?! Ha ha ha ha! Definetly a dirty word around here! Everything is chaos baby led in this house. Ds generally stays awake for 60-90 minutes. Naps vary from 20 mins to 3 hours. Sometimes he sleeps in the pram, sometimes the bouncy chair and sometimes on me or dh. he is routinely grumpy in the evening.
He has fallen into a sort of pattern overnight of sleeping from about 12-4, having a quick feed and then sleeping again until about 6:30 before having another feed, shouting a bit and then sleeping again until about 10.

Welcome giraffe!

COME BACK lily and tell us about the bridesmaids!

You sound like you're doing all the right things slow. 1/2 term has come just at the right time.

What a beaut fanby. I love her outfit and her hair. Damn that ocado man.

Baby choir sounds fab clstow. I'm totally tone deaf and a bit nervous of singing to ds in case I damage his musicality. Dh has never heard me sing in 14 years of being together.

I don't think you have much to worry about if he's still in the same centile magrat. I'm sure I've read about some babies growing in fits and starts. It's only 1 week. Try upping the food and see how it goes. Don't beat yourself up about it - that won't do any good.

I hope everyone else has had a good day. Who was it that suggested lidl fake Bueno chocolate? I'm not sure weather to curse or thank you. Bloody things are amazing!

X-posts slow. Thank you for sharing, I like the idea of a gentle approach to knowing what happens when. I will definetly download it later.

Hi all

Thanks for the welcomes routine...shudder haha! Actually I agree babies tend to find a bit of a routine, however I'm not really in one at all yet as my 4yo activities tend to dictate what we do each day, so baby has to catch naps in the pram/sling/on me, I'm hoping to start using the co sleeper cot in a couple of weeks, at the moment she co sleeps in my bed safely inside a giant c shape memory foam wedge.

Fanby I'd keep cuddling in the evening if you like it, I'm still doing in and will until I want to use the cot, I think the cuddles are one of the perks of babies I cuddled my first loads too and never bothered with sleep training, she's always slept well since she got over the reflux as a baby.

Oh, and nolonger totally with you on feeling like you don't have time to parent either child properly. Second time around is so much easier in some respects and then much harder in others! I hope you feel like you have had a good day with both children today

I would love to have more of a routine, but can't work out how to get one when I can't get ds to sleep even when he's tired, days start at different times (there's no way I'm waking him up if he sleeps past 8am) and we've been doing on demand breastfeeding. But that tip about bedtime sounds sensible and kind of what we're doing, though it's creeping nearer to 9 again after getting it to nearer 8. What advice does the book have about daytime routines?

MaGrat I can understand why you must be worried but it's only one week and I'm sure babies grow in spurts rather than at an even rate. He may just have plateau'd for a bit. He's not dropping centiles so not a crisis and upping feeds sounds like a sensible plan.

Evening ladies. Quick one while I wait for dinner to be ready.

Swimming went really well and DS loved it apart from the dunking. DD however has decided she hates water especially baths unless DS is in it with her...argh!

Re. routines, we don't really have one yet but as someone else said they do kind of fall into what you are doing with your other child/ren.

I generally bath them together (although DS doesn't have one every night) the give DS a feed while DD has milk and watches Peppa. DS then sleeps in his bouncer while I do teeth, story and bed with DD. He then wakes around 9 for a feed and so I do nappy, grobag and feed. He goes back to sleep in the bouncer and we take him up when we go to bed and put straight in his crib. He usually stirs then self settles. Once he's in his own room willll put him down after bath and feed with DD.

No one is making a rod for their backs not having a routine yet. I was the feed to sleep/nap on me/baby fits around my life not vice versa mum first time round and DD has always slept beautifully and gone to bed happily since her own routine emerged around 6 months and changed as she got older.

I say, just enjoy your baby and do whatever you need to but don't over think the need for a routine.

Routine

We have a routine in the sense that dd1 has her tea at six/6.30 (ideally so do we) and goes to bed 7.15-7.45. She doesn't have a bath every night because she gets dry skin. She gets two or three stories and then lights out. She won't sleep unless one of us is there but typically only takes 15-20 mins during which time she kind of processess what she's done that day and she tells a whole story about it. I go to bed at 10 with the baby. Dh isn't far behind. This "routine" has evolved. It's fine for us at the moment. It will change.

We spent the first 10 months of dd1's life having a rigid system that made us all miserable and didn't work. We felt curtailed by it and panicked or guilty if we messed it up and she never bloody slept anyway! We were like sportsmen with their lucky undercrackers or what have you. One wrong move and we thought "Oh fuck! We've ruined it now! She's broken!" It was an elaborate ritual that we became obsessed by. Oh the guilt! The weeping! The sense that everyone knew what they were doing and their baby slept and didn't cry. The guilt!

There is nothing wrong with having a routine whether it is rigid or relaxed (Gina Ford suits loads of people) but it needs to fit what suits your life. It's thinking a routine is going to "fix" your baby and make it sleep or not cry that's a mistake. The routine will change as the baby changes so do what makes your life easy just now and when it stops making life pleasant then change it. At all times avoid guilt.

Just what I think anyway.

Slow-we have that book it's awesome!! We read it every Saturday morning which is her 'birthday' so we know what's on the cards for the week ahead! Fully recommend!

Yes, when you are on your 2nd/3rd or 6th child, they just seem to slot in with whatever routine you have in place already. They have to, otherwise you mess everything up for the older one/s

But if you are on your first. Do what suits you. Most babies find their own routine, but if you want to try then there's nothing wrong with helping them along.

DP is here tonight! Yes! Night off for me

Joskar PLEASE write a parenting book!!!
I'd buy you a gin if you were closer!!

Evening all - we are having a crappy time right now. J just screams loads whatever we do - we offer him cuddles, I offer him boob whenever he seems to want it, we're keeping an eye on nappy changes. We try rocking, pacing the floor, gentle jiggling, bottom pats. It just feels so hard at the moment - he gets so upset and we don't seem to be able to soothe him. We are getting much more vigilant about winding him, holding him upright between feeds etc.

He just chugged down 120 mls of expressed milk and then proceeded to howl solidly. DH took him for a walk outside in the pram, he fell asleep and is now half awake. Am struggling to keep my cool every time he screams in my ear, while head butting and clawing my face. Am not enjoying being a mum right now

Aww Tindel, no advice really but . The only thing that comes to mind is have you considered cranial osteopathy? Friend of mine had a ds who sounds just like yours and this was their saviour xx