The 11th Gemini bus - Trudging through the terrible twos

[AGnu]

Ha ha they just kept comming didn't they pear!!
Well it is hard to tell from a pic. Did you all try them on then? What was the fit like? Did the other girls like it? Did you tell them you are pregnant ??

Kitty - ha ha yes Once I start I can't stop The fit was terrible. The neck is very high and loose so that will need adjusting. I don't know the other bridesmaids but judging by the questions they were asking and their faces I would say they feel exactly the same Honestly, it wasn't what any of us were expecting. I couldn't sleep that night because I was so worried. I honestly can't imagine how such a fitted dress will accommodate my big bump. I have suspicions that I'll be bigger with this pregnancy. I feel rounder already. Nothing we can do though...its just sad because there are so many lovely plain dresses out there! It's such a cheap dress I think two sizes will be brought for me. I imagine alterations will cost a bomb!

And no I haven't told the other bridesmaids yet.

Have you told the bride though? Did she seem pleased with them?
It's all abit odd, were they bought over the internet?

Yep the bride knows. I told her back in December when I knew she was about to buy dresses online to avoid this very exact situation She's got advice from someone who can alter them who says it's fine for me. I'm really not trying to be awkward but I just really can't see how that waistline will be fine?!! I think the bride was happy with them when we tried them on. She didn't say much but she certainly didn't suggest that they were going back.

Hate to frighten you but I'm bloody massive this time around. 27+5 and I feel like I did at the end last time. But worried about how big I'm going to get! Second babies!

Lor - That's exactly why I'm worried Wow you're so far gone. Exciting!! Have you splashed out on maternity clothes this time or did you have lots last time? I didn't buy much last time... Silly me because I had more money then! I've already told DH that I'm going to need to buy a few outfits this time as I only have work maternity clothes! I didn't really get big last time which is one reason for not having many clothes. It's exciting though as this time I will have a summer pregnancy. When are due Lor? April?

I'll be 28 weeks exactly on the wedding day!

Perhaps Lor I should get you to model the dress for the bride. What size are you?

Hmm, yeah that's a tough one pear. I think if they turn it into an empire waist and take some of the netting off the skirt or make it an A-line by taking out the waist it should work, but that's a pretty awkward location on a pregnant bump! The picture looks lovely, but being fresh out of a similar bridesmaid dress situation, it's never the same in RL! Eek. Well, hopefully the dress doesn't cost too much so alternations won't be so expensive! And yes, I was also bigger much faster with #2... but with that said, I stayed around the same size for most of the pregnancy until right at the end.

So, story about the wedding; DD was flowergirl in the wedding. Mum brought her BF with to stay the weekend and since it was basically a destination wedding, everyone was staying in the same hotel. Mum's BF kept offering to take M off our hands to back to his and my mum's hotel room to watch TV and colour in colourbooks with her, to which we kept politely refusing saying that she was fine and that we've got it under control. Then day of the wedding, mum's BF was hanging around whilst everyone was taking pictures and again, he kept offering to take M off our hands and was what seemed like almost trying to sneak her off. The venue where the wedding was held was huge and had a lot of side rooms off the main ballroom and I felt like I had to keep looking for M b/c mum's BF would take her off to a room. Then cue to right after the ceremony when we were on cocktail hour while the ballroom was turned over to the dining room and mum's BF again was saying he could take M for a walk to "take her off our hands" and DH ended up finding him walking off with her trying to get her to go into the ballroom/dining room with him to "go sit at the table". It was just odd. It just felt like he was trying to lure her away from us and the enthusiasm for "taking her off our hands" was just creepy. No grown normal man is that excited to take care of a 2 year old little girl. Obviously nothing happened (TG!!) but I just have this feeling about him being around her and it's been there ever since I first met him over the summer when M and I drove out to visit my mum (this was when he was just her "friend" and I didn't know they were doing the nasty). So now I just won't even bring M anywhere near him. He's not going to be in her presence anymore. I don't care how harmless my mum says he is, he's just not going to be around my kids. For some reason I have been having this thought run through my head that he won't actually be gone when we get there in Feb and I'm a little nervous about it. I feel like I should have a back-up plan for this? I feel like I can trust my mum, but we've had a pretty up and down relationship in the past that maybe I can't? Hopefully it's just an irrational anxiety type thought and not something that could have truth behind it.

Bring - I can't quite imagine your helpful explanation of alterations but I'm relieved to hear you have suggestions! Might be a sprinkle of hope for me I have to keep repeating to myself now..."this is not your problem, let it go"

Oh man on the BF front I really hope your mum keeps her head screwed on and doesn't start taking his side. I find that my mum is always so swept off her feet that she can never see anything clearly when it comes to men and still she praises her ex even though he was quite verbally abusive over the summer towards her! Have you got a plan B? Would you consider staying elsewhere at a cost? Are you thinking about reminding your mum of your wishes closer to the time? What a dilemma that would be if you turned up and he was hanging around! Sorry I'm not helping! But I do totally sympathise

I am still so hungry this week. Thankfully normally before I go to bed. Just had two slices of granary with strawberry jam before bed

Heard from one of the hens today that she's pulling out of the hen party because she will be 6.5 months pregnant I'll be six months pregnant (she doesn't know) this is not freaking me out at all

Lor - do you think (honestly) at this stage of your pregnancy you would be physically OK going to Europe this weekend on a hen party?

Oh wow! Two of you then! I wonder if the bride knew there were two pregnant mamas and yet still picked such a heinous dress? Weird! It's still a time that's totally safe to travel. It's just up to you whether you feel up to it, really.

Bring - The other girl isn't a bridesmaid. Thanks though, I've given myself a reality slap and I'm going to book the flight. This is a holiday away from entertaining a soon to be 3 year old for 48hrs... The weekend should be a breeze...solo for 48hrs xx

Ahhh, gotcha. My mistake.

M is driving me BONKERS. She's getting super clingy and will not give me 5 minutes to myself and go off to play somewhere on her own. I'm putting myself into solitary confinement when DH gets home. We are just getting into this horrible pattern of her wanting loads and loads and loads of attention and for me to entertain her and after half a day of doing this, I'm getting ready for a f'ing break for myself to just eat something without her touching me and she senses that I'm starting to get annoyed with this neediness so she cranks it up and starts acting up with the screaming and tantrums so she gets sent to her room which then makes her even more desperate for more attention after her act-up. Also absolutely does not help that I'm pms'ing hardcore, I'm f'ing sick of winter already, I'm irritated with how much work I've got to complete with very limited time per week to do it and the kids are having tons of random days off school so I'm not able to be productive.... it's just all building up. I'm just starting to feel the crazies going out of my mind again.

Omg yes!! I too have a clingy koala!! Mummy sit down, Mummy hug, Mummy watch TV, Mummy stay, Mummy play and so it goes on Nothing is getting done in my household which is just driving me nuts but I keep saying to myself I'll miss these days!! We're also very needed if he wakes in the night and nighttime routines take Sooooo long at the moment! Bring - I can't even imagine how stressful it must be to include two boys and a job into the mix! You're a star

Oh TG it's a phase then. The boys were nowhere NEAR as bad as this... or maybe my brain has just blocked it all out because it was so bad? Of course now that DH is home, she's a perfect little angel for him and is sweet and endearing and affectionate.... then she tells me off that I can't read her books (ie, the ones I picked out for her at the library and brought home for her to which she wouldn't have had any bc she was too busy carrying around a stuffed parrot). But of course!

Sorry to hear you've got it too. Super hard with an exhausting-to-the-bone first trimester!

Bring that whole situation with the bf at the wedding sounds so... weird?... creepy?... I don't know! Odd in any case.

C has slightly come out of clingy phase and will play by himself again for a bit but he's still kind of clingy and with me only, rather than DH who he can outright reject at times, although that's getting better too.

pear I haven't bought much this time around. I got all my clothes from last time back from DSiL and a friend of mine - who loaned me loads of clothes last time, which I gave back and she wore in her 2nd pregnancy - has given me all her stuff back again which is great. I've updated a little, plus new bras etc. but mostly hung on to stuff. I'm due 20th April, so 28 weeks today! Got my midwife appointment tomorrow - Lucozade test (remember that?) as well as getting Anti-D injection because I've O Negative blood.

In terms of whether I'd travel at this stage? I'm struggling a bit with hip and back pain and work feels far away, let alone mainland Europe. If it wasn't for that I'd go as the flying at this stage doesn't bother me as such. It depends on what they have plans for the hen do. If it's a lot of walking/standing or anything active, I'd skip it. It really depends on how you feel about yourself and your capabilities when pregnant. I tend to want to hibernate a bit and not go far from home but that's personal.

Lor - Thanks, its really interesting and nice to hear your feelings at this stage in your pregnancy.

It's silly me asking really because I don't feel like I have a choice. My friendship with the bride took a massive nosedive when bpear was born so 50% of me feels like not going would finish it off and 50% of me feels like I can't say no when I'm a bridesmaid. I really shouldn't care so much but I do Anyway, you didn't say "no way could you go" so that's positive I'm buying travel insurance from the post office that will cost £24 but it's the highest medical policy and there is no excess so at least I know I'm completely covered should I need to cancel if for any reason the midwife says I can't fly at the time. It's also after my 20 week scan so I think I'll feel more assured at that point that things are going in the right direction so to speak.

Anyway, sorry ladies. I promise now to be quiet about it all It's just been stressing me out so much. We can't even book the flights yet because the bride is not responding to any of my texts to say "yes, go ahead". The whole thing is all a bit much for me right now. I've got hens messaging me asking to book their flight before the prices hike up but I can hardly say go ahead without hearing from the bride Ironic when the bride keeps saying she doesn't want it to be stressful for the bridesmaids to organise!! Argh yeah of coarse it's not going to be stressful for your 3 bridesmaids to organise when you want to have full control over making decisions and they don't even know each other...hmmmm

Back to the real world...

Hope you're OK Frus? How's your dS doing?

I'm trying to limit how much iPad/phone time bpear has. It's so hard when he needs constant entertainment and those tools are so easy to give to him! I managed to do bedtime tonight without giving into letting him have our mobiles. I gave him a money box to play with at hair drying time and a balloon to stretch when I was brushing his teeth. Both worked really well but it's hard work to always think of distraction ideas!!

Do any of your children need constant distraction? I've always had this with bpear. As soon as he was sitting up I've had to carry around a bag of items for him to explore otherwise he would play up. Things that he most enjoyed when he was small was putting things in and out of boxes, using his fingers all the time to try and open something like the lid of a bubble pot. I would carry around empty bubble pots and he would spend ages putting the wand in and out. Nobody at the time was doing this around me and I thought they were just a bit lazy at parenting (oh how naive I was). Now I realise that their child just didn't need constant entertainment. I'm sure one of you have experienced this! I did think he would have grown out of it by now.

Anyway, that brings me to say has anyone seen "baby big mouth" on YouTube? He is addicted! It's actually been very good for him. He now knows how to say all the colours and he understands the difference between big and small. I tried to teach him these things but I guess the repetition has helped him. I suppose this is when video learning comes into play and is a positive thing! Check it out sometime

DH has gone to pick me up a takeaway Chinese as I've been craving it for a while and the steak we defrosted did not smell good. Oh the pros for being a pregnant lady

Omg that was an essay

We don't let C have our phones or ipads to look at but he does watch some TV and can tantrum a lot when it's turned off. Current obsessions are Paw Patrol and Peter Rabbit. We do limit it quite a bit though.

Might have spoke to soon about the end of C's clingy phase. On Monday night he got up at 1.30am and refused to go back to bed and slept in with me. Last night he got up at 4am and did the same. DH had to get up and go sleep elsewhere. Neither me or C got much sleep after 4 though. So sleepy today.

Had 28 week appointment today so feeling like a pin cushion as I had to get Anti-D injection as well as have them take bloods. All good overall although I am measuring a bit big - about 30cms apparently. Both midwife and student midwife had difficulty finding the fundus though so they're not totally certain of my measurement. Student MW initially got 34cms!!! They don't seem too worried about it though and I seem to remember measuring a cm or two ahead for C too and he was far from a big baby (3.3kilos/7lbs4ozs). They also had trouble getting a good read on the heartbeat. Baby kept wriggling away as soon as they tried to listen so they'd hear it and then it would go. Also, my placenta is at the front, so I think that might have been muffling things a bit. This one's a real wriggler. They don't think it's head down yet but it's wriggling so much there's plenty of room and time for turning!

Thanks for validating that Lor It is just weird. Probably not malicious. But, I just get weirded out every time I review that day.

Well.... Pear it is totally your choice still. Hen parties are all about the bride sowing her wild oats before she puts on the ol' ball and chain and being the nearly 30 week pregnant woman babysitting a group of wasted, nearly naked, women at stupid o'clock at night (in a foreign country nonetheless) doesn't sound super duper fun

Ha ha...can't wait to babysit 8 nearly naked women Joy oh Joy!! Let's hope they keep their clothes on for my sake!! So, I know I said I would keep quiet but I'm sure you want an ending update to this saga! Yesterday was so crazy stressful. Can't remember if I mentioned this but another hen has dropped out as she's going to be 2 weeks ahead of me and she wrote me a long email with all the reasons why it wouldn't be wise to come. It totally freaked me out!! TBH half of her reasons I hadn't even thought about because I've just been focused on the bride. So, the bride finally emailed me yesterday (God knows why it took her so long to respond) and said that she completely understood hens reasons and it's probably for the best considering how far gone she would be...again totally freaking me out. Then it dawned on me that the bride hasn't done her calculations and didn't realise how pregnant I will be!! She thought that I was going to be 6 months at her wedding and 5 months at her party This all stemmed from my breezy email in December suggesting to buy a bridesmaid dress for a six month pregnant person (that worked well - not). I didn't think she would take that date literally when I haven't even had a scan!! Anyway, bride went all panicky and declared that her hen party wouldn't be a hen party without me...no pressure then Good to hear though that she has remembered that we were best friends once upon a time before I had a baby!! Still, I realise that this is crazy behaviour and almost blackmail from her part

Meanwhile, other bridesmaid tries to book flights and discovers that in 3 days every flight has shot up in price So after many back and fourth texts I crack and ring bridesmaid who I don't know at all but she has a kid so I'm hoping for sympathy and blurt out that I'm pregnant and the reason I'm being so tricky about which airport I fly from is A) I don't want to travel on my own being that pregnant and B) I can't see myself travelling miles on trains/buses lugging a suitcase and C) I'm generally totally freaking out since my mother drove over knowing nothing about the trip and pleaded that I didn't go! Drama queen

Bridesmaid was lovely towards my situation and totally gets it. Flights have been booked now. We're travelling from an airport that is nearly a 2 hour drive from my house so DH will have to take time off work which sucks but it's not the worst situation in the world. We get to fly back earlier on the Sunday which means we arrive late Friday night, have whole of Sat at destination and leave after breakfast on Sunday. Bride was not so happy about that news and I'm glad that I wasn't the one who had to persuade her that it will work 5 of us who have kids are happy with those times though and I feel like it's not too much to cope with.

So, there's an end! Hoorah!

Bring - sorry to hear you've also experienced the friend battle. It's tough. Friends don't come easy at our age so it's not always simple to just "let go" as so many people have advised me to do over the years. Plus sometimes you feel like you've invested so much time in building that relationship and you can't just "let go" of all the good memories etc! I've given up hope that my friendship with this girl will ever be the same but I'm OK with that now. My priorities and happiness lie in a different place.

Barbie movies? Lol I'm almost envious It's all about blinking Peppa Pig in my house or Postman Pat, Twirly Woos and Teletubbies. Bpear can never sit still through one episode though, it's unusual. January is all about snuggle time! February is when we crack open the art box

Lor - How exciting! It all sounds very real talking about turning babies! Not so exciting about the interrupted sleep DS has developed Hope it's just a bad week and not a habit forming! Arghhh and to think that last pregnancy you only had to worry about getting up to wee!!

bring I was looking at spinning babies yesterday actually. My Yoga teacher is always recommending it (she's brilliant - she's a doula as well as a yoga instructor and really knows her stuff). There's so much info on there I'll have to spend a bit of time going through it. I'm not worried though as baby's moving SO much I'm sure it'll wiggle into place like C did.

Eeek midwife appt tomorrow She should calculate me at 10+4 so hopefully I'll get a scan date soon Dying to make it public!! Feel like all the wrong people in RL know because of the bridesmaid situation!

Bpear skipped a nap today so was in bed by 7...bliss!

Other news...I weighed myself this morning and I've put on 7lbs since December :-( I realise I'm now carrying a baby but I've fallen off the sugar wagon big time so today I've made a pact with DH not to eat sugar crap again. So so hard!! He's put on 4lb so I've not been helping him!