Just Mumming Viroids 6 - some of us have time for JSing, some don't, but we're all grad grads!

[JuniDD]

Just shagging grad grads thread! Roll call below please...

I don't wear a bra in bed but I think my norks are pretty modest compared to some here

There's some crop top sleep bra type things on Amazon - someone posted a link to them on the fb page a bit back?

I know this is a bit of a "how long is a piece of string" type question but... how reliant on boob do you think the babies will be at 11m? Been invited to an adults only wedding... Would prefer to go and stay over but wouldn't be able to do that without miniP. If I go without him it'd still be all day as its a couple of hours drive away.

Ow tee!!!!! You poor thing!

I am wearing nursing bras at night and hating it, but it's better than drowning in milk puddle

Have decided against swaddling tonight I'm scared it's too warm

La ds gets swaddled in a short sleeve vest with one blanket over the seaddle?

However were in Glasgow and its 17defrees if we're lucky

Yeah that's why I wear them La. Will maybe try the vest top one.

I'd say you'll get away with it at 11m Popz. Only tricky bit might be bedtime. Mini wasn't really fussed on the boob after about 10/10.5 months and it was more me trying to convince her to take it so I didn't have to bother switching to bottles. I think at 11 months she was probably only having two feeds per day - possibly three.

I don't wear a bra to bed, I find them uncomfortable at the best of times and my norks like to be free- not that there's much of them to be roaming around!

I hear you Popz, getting out is the best thing ever! I was up and out very early this morning and managed to go to a toddler group for a couple of hours, met another (mental) mum who had 14 months between her two, she gave me some great tips and she was also alive, dressed and looked like she had her shit together! Her youngest is now 8 months and her kids are still very much alive so it gave me hope that maybe I can actually do this!
Has your DP spoken to your neighbours yet Fleur?
Wil did you mention tooth ache? I bloody hate it, urgh I've got the dentist next week and I know he's going to start banging on about getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled because it's impacting all the others and even after having a c section in still scared of that think I need to get a grip.
La fingers crossed miniLa enjoys swaddling that much that he sleeps for longer stints now- the first few weeks are the hardest, usually when you get to around 12 weeks they usually start settling and going for 5-6 hours, so that's something to look forward to
Now R is on his magic milk he sleeps for about 5 hours a time now he's not in pain anymore.
Got the dietician and osteopath again tomorrow. Wondering whether the dietician will actually be able to diagnose R with a milk intolerance or whether they'll just run through the symptoms again. Surely there must be some kind of test? Otherwise in a few weeks I have to put R back on the devil milk for a couple of days to see if his symptoms come back again. That will not be a fun day for anyone involved. I already know the result of that experiment and it will involve crying and screaming probably from both R and me.

Hello
If pfb follows the due date idea, he /she/ chimera will be here in about 4 weeks and i was hoping for a bit of advice from more grown up grown ups than me!
had a home visit from the health visitor yesterday, and she advised that if i wanted to bf the baby, it might be wise to get rid of the memory foam mattress topper on our bed, as it might over heat the baby. Someone on the grads thread also suggested that it might increase risks of suffocation as well. The problem is that I've got a bit of a bad back and the memory foam helps. Given that i tend to sleep on top of the duvet and under a bedspread ( dh emits heat like a volcano), is this something i need to change? I have rented a bed nest, but have strong suspicions that pfb may not always want to go back in to it, or that i may fall asleep mid feed.
So can you offer any practical advice as to how you do night feeds safely? Am really quite alarmed now!
thank you!

To BF? Why would your mattress matter? Does she mean co-sleeping/bed sharing? I have a memory foam topper and BF at night but ds never makes contact with it?

Sounds like you've had an early glimpse of the often nonsense of health visitors!

Can't say it's something I've been told deeply. Not that I have a memory foam mattress, not would HV know of I did as she's never been upstairs. I'm feeding in bed now and he's not even in contact with the mattress.

Hope you're ok juni, come back soon!

I hate wearing a bra to bed wil but haven't found an alternative way since feeding as the get unruly. If you find a better alternative let us know!

God dentist sounds awful tee, when do you go back?

Have J a bottle for first time yesterday. He downed 2oz and went straight back on the boob so must need more than that.

I think these babies need to me taught some feeding manners. Number 1: if you need to stretch or move your head dramatically don't take nips with you!

We have a memory foam mattress and I sometimes BF in bed (am doing it now!) but will not co sleep.

Ouch tee that sounds painful! When will you go back to get it sorted out?

I need to start thinking about expressing and offering S a bottle - I am getting hassle from my DH as he would like to give a bottle occasionally I hope to god it works out and I can have some me time.

DH started out by being really helpful and doing all the chores around the house but has quickly descended into him leaving plates and cups etc around (which is really annoying as it is hard to clear up one handed), the dishwasher half stacked/ not unloaded/ no rinse aid and no washing getting done (but noises made if he runs out of socks)

I also get edicts from him about what I must or mustn't do with S... How I must clean him with warm water and cotton wool at every change (not practical if out), leave the nappy off for at least 5 minutes at every change (again, not always practical and means I get through loads of towels where he pees everywhere - cf washing, above) and so on. He doesn't even change a nappy during the week....

I have also been told off for not eating properly. He genuinely doesn't understand that I don't always get time to make something healthy to eat - a bowl of cereal is all I can muster. He has now decided that I must eat soup which will be very easy to do with a baby strapped to me!

He has also given up organising the food shopping and meal planning. So, if left to him, I wouldn't have any food in the house anyway. He has only been back at work for a week.

Sorry for the rant - I woke up to a text from DH asking me to wash his clothes as he is meeting friends on Saturday and wants to wear a particular shirt. It annoyed me on Two counts - 1. He could have done it himself and 2. He gets to swan out for a few hours, alone, and in proper clothes not a mismatch of ill fitting maternity clothes which are chosen for their easy access to boobage.

He did sort out the dog issue though - neighbour replied straightaway saying they would put him downstairs which they did. No mention of S and the crying.

fleur give the baby to him for a day, make yourself available for feeds only, and then only when you're sure it's needed..then he may just start to get a glimpse of how hard it is to do anything!

Sounds a bit like a control freak Fleur! My stepdads the same with my mum- tries telling her to do stuff, she replies by telling him to fuckoff most of the time and that seems to work glad the dog situation is ok now.

I've never heard of the mattress thing either. We also have a memory foam but the slats under our bed are all knackered so the memory mattress is shit now. Really need a new bed and I never really wanted this one- knew it'd be crap considering we paid peanuts for it and the delivery took a month in two parts!
Got the osteopath and dietitian for R today. Are any one else's babies really cross eyed? I don't remember P being as cross eyed as R ???? well it's it's just the one eye that's the most crossed. Hope it'll right itself, I shit myself with P as eye diseases run in my family and I was convinced she was blind, now I'm doing the same thing with R and it's stressing me out.

Oh, and for nappy free time, I used left over maternity mat things, then bought puppy pads! :) H loves a naked roll about on the floor. Also, I've never used cotton wool, we always used water wipes and she's never ever had nappy rash, it's really not practical to have them with no nappy after every change!

Fleur with the greatest respect DH is being mental. If he wants to make up the rules, he should really stay home with the baby. Plenty of ways to bond with the wee one without feeding him too.

Deeply I have a memory foam top layer and Micro sleeps in my bed sometimes in the morning. She also feeds lying on the mattress and she so far has not spontaneously combusted . If you are considering actual co-sleeping then probably wise to get rid but for feeding purposes and the occasional nap, imo it's fine. (If you're there with them). Just make sure the baby isn't under a duvet or anything.

Pixie it's really common for babies to appear cross-eyed. Think it's because their vision isn't fully developed. Also you probably won't get the allergy confirmed unless R has skin reactions, maybe they would do a skin test. They don't like to stick needles in babies unless there is a really good reason. And the blood test only shows up immediate reactions so if R has digestive reactions, this wouldn't show up on blood test. I think that's right anyway.

Thanks, everyone. no, definitely not planning to co sleep, but just was worrying about whether it would be a problem if baby and I fell asleep during feed. Glad to hear that micro has refrained from catching fire, health visitors notwithstanding
And no, wouldn't be under duvet, just thin bedspread at worst, so hopefully ok.
anyway, this does assume that baby and I do sleep at all at any point, anywhere....

Thanks for that Wil! I didn't really know what to expect today but you've given me an idea so thank you very much
R has been to the osteopath and he's now fast asleep for the first time all morning! Hurray! She said his tummy is doing really well now and not a lot of tightness, she's worked on his neck today (jarred from c section delivery) she reckons just one more treatment next week and he'll be done

Mr P was like that Fleur - mega helpful and lovely while he was on paternity leave, but the helpfulness gradually petered out after he went back to work! Agree with wil - if he wants to dictate how you look after the baby in such ridiculous detail then he ought to bloody stay at home himself. I am on your behalf! It's good that he's showing an interest I suppose but... he maybe needs to simmer down a bit. Definitely arrange for him to look after minifleur on his own for a few hours... see how many bloody cotton wool nappy changes he can be arsed with then!!

Deeply - I'm pretty sure they make memory foam mattress toppers for babies!? Can't see it being an issue unless you're doing full time cosleeping, like the others say.

Glad it went well pixie x

Thanks for that wil. I'm sure she'd probably let us bring him if I asked her. I expect she didn't think it'd be an issue to leave him at that age... and it probably isn't, I'm just being pfb I think!

Bedtime would possibly be an issue... I have no flipping idea how to make him sleep without boob! Though maybe if I wasn't there, he wouldn't need it?

That's what I'm hoping when I go out in about three weeks Popz. To be honest I think she'll probably just be up until I get home.

There is a thing about not having babies on soft mattresses as they sink into them so maybe that is the memory foam issue? I reckon it's that they've not tested them rather than them being known to be unsafe.

Glad the osteopath went well. It sounds like the bomb.

I have had a hideous day. Am running out of knowledge about how to handle Mini's very public episodes.

Fleur he is BVU! You're the one who's got to deal with baby day in day out and he should be making that easier not harder. Tell him to sort his own frigging shirt!

Mines being great but has started tidying away stuff when I'm not finished, like he's obsessed. I have been filing one of Bs nails every nap and every time I sit down to do the next dh has taken file away and put it upstairs. He's gone a bit tidy mad!

Great news about osteopath pixie, I know they can work wonders for babies post delivery.

I'm still struggling with dressing B for weather. It's 24 degrees in our bedroom. Should he just be in legless baby grow with cellular blanket or should he wear sleep suit with legs? He seems hot and clammy.

During day today we had him in legless bodysuit. I've noticed when we put him in sleep suit during day/night he's getting a bit red in nappy area. Did some time without nappy today because he's got lots of clammy skin and elsewhere he's got lots of dry skin which I think is due to heat.

Also I wanted to take him out in sling today but chickened out because I didn't know what to dress him in :(. It was quite warm and we have either caboo close or ergo with infant insert.

In laws been today and met the wee one who slept through the whole encounter. We also had newborn photo session this morning. I got peed on twice and pooed on once. Went really well but oh my god the room was hot. Bf a naked sweaty baby when you're sweaty and covered with pee is not fun!

I've made an executive decision today to sod the water and cotton wool and start using water wipes. Seriously - it's like they're trying to make our lives more difficult!!

Hugs wil x

la check how warm he feels by his chest or back, not legs or feet or hands. I'm sure you know that, but just in case! If you're worried he's too warm, he probably is, 24 degrees is warm, I'd go just a vest with one layer of the blanket over his legs if it was me. You can always add another layer of blanket if you decide he feels cold later, whereas it's harder to take him out of a sleep suit if he's too warm :)

Sling wise, again if it's warm he will be toasty as he's cuddled up to you, a short sleeved vest may well be enough, depends on the weather though. Trust yourself :)

wil don't stop doing things with mini, you're an amazing mum, sod everyone else, do what you need!

Ah I don't want to stop doing things but I'm worried I'm taking her to environments that upset her. I kind of think that's real life though - you can't avoid going to new or busy places for your whole life. But I need to figure out how to help her (and me) cope.

Yeah sounds like a short sleeved bodysuit would be the way to go for night time and sling. I'd go with the Caboo until he gets some head control.