October 2014.. Thread 7.. Teeth, tantrums & tickles

[STIGZ]

Hope this works ?

Glad DP's home STIGZ
Sorry you're struggling tatty - fingers crossed things improve soon

We went to work today. Madam's behaviour was impeccable , did my proud mummy bit & didn't realise my workplace was full of baby snatchers.
I can't believe how much I'm not missing it this time round. With my non sleeping dd1 I spent so much time in the early weeks wondering wtf I'd done. Not due back for ages yet - don't want to think of my little lady getting big.

In terms of judginess - I agree it tends to be of the thank god I'm not the most terrible parent in the whole entire world because I don't do x,y,z.

In terms of advice/sympathy - I think it is generally meant with the best of intentions, but am now worried that I might have been driving our friend's wife crazy. I look back at my first few weeks with dd1 & I desperately wanted anyone to notice how much I was struggling/support me/tell me I was doing a good job - and now go out of my way to try to make sure no-one else is feeling like me. Might stop in case it's ott.

We've come to Cornwall for a couple of days. First time p gets to see the sea. She was ace for 4 hours in the car, now completely wide awake and not remotely interested in sleeping. Super!

I'm not starting weaning until 6 months. P is quite wee, there is dairy allergy in the family and as my sil put it, 'it starts off being fun, but quickly becomes a nightmare just at the moment you realise you have to feed them for 18 years'

Haha! goats your sil is absolutely right!! People are so desperate to hit each milestone especially first time round it's like a competition of who can wean first. But it's a right bloody faff to start with and takes FOREVER to clean up afterwards!!!!! I hope the sea air has conked your DD out by now.

tatty unfortunately ieveryone has an opinion and everyone (esp non parents or people who's kids are older and have forgotten how hard it all is) is a freakin expert!! It doesn't get any better either, I'm in the 'you need to be doing it like this' phase with potty training DS. Apparently he should've been out of nappies a year ago according to some people! He's 2.5!!! Just nod and smile and do your own thing

Well I've had a shite few days with DH away and stroppy toddler and not much sleep. DH is back now though, toddler less stroppy today and I had an hour or two more sleep yesterday so the world feels like a better place again.

We had a first earlier too. Was trying to settle Dd after she'd been asleep downstairs for most of the evening (I'd snuck off to bed for a few hours now DH is back). Couldnt do much with her so I just put her in the cot wide awake cause I couldn't be arsed doing anything else! and she just lay there for a bit and nodded off!! She's been fed/rocked/buggy/car seated to sleep pretty much every other sleep in her life! It felt like I'd witnessed a miracle! Anyway as I type she's fed ans thrown up all over me argghhhhh!!!!!

That was some vomit!! It just kept coming and I just had to sit there and watch!! Oh well complete change of clothes for both of us and back to square one with the feed.

twisted I love it when people tell me it's hard and I'm not doing badly. It's when people imply that I sort of am doing badly, even when what they suggest is what I'm already doing and it's not working, that it makes me sad.

I'm not sure about a later bedtime. By the time we put her to bed at about seven fifteen she's pretty grumpy already, and if the alternative to settling a calm baby I'd distracting a nutso one I'm not sure what I'd choose. To be fair to her, after the rapid decline into four month sleep horror she's slowly improving. And it really feels to me like she's doing the best she can, iykwim, so there you go.

tatty remember every baby is unique, what works for some will deffo not work for others, I'm so surprised at how different my two girls are, my first dd just needed to be close to me to fall asleep and dd2 cant stand going to sleep in my arms or on my chest, dd1 loved her car seat and hated the moses but dd2 hates the car seat and loved the moses

Just feel confident that you whatever your doing is right for your baby! And take what you need from other peoples suggestions or forget it all together, thats what I'm doing this time, i got so wound up the first time around listening to others when what i was doing myself was probably the thing she needed but i used to doubt myself as i thought others new best

Tatty do what you think is best re bed time. For us every evening is slightly different but she's usually settled once or twice by 8pm. You're doing great.
Errr hope you both got back to sleep ok after the sick.
That was a loud struggle against nap time. But I won!
I had to leave her for a few minutes to get the bins in and let her shout it out. Then went back armed with a dummy, head stroking and reassurances that mummy was there. Let's see how long the peace lasts

It's daytime naps that are our real struggle, and got some reason they seem to have become the arbiter of parenthood for me, so if I can't get her to nap then I feel like a total failure.

To those with older children who also use the bouncy chair for naps- what happens when they get too big for it? Because I've just managed to get her to sleep in it but I don't want to feel like I'm storing up problems for the future, if it turns out that it's more than a one off.

I gradually worked on naps in the cot with DS but it took a long time. Wasn't till he was napping once a day that it became easier (7-8 months old). DD is getting no such treatment and is usually fed to sleep. So I'm screwed when that no longer works. Sorry not much help I know!

No, it's really nice to be not alone. The bouncy chair nap lasted twenty minutes. She used to nap okay in her cot but now she won't nap anywhere except on me, with me being perfectly still. The sling won't cut it. It means that by the time we get to the grand evening sleep fight I'm already a wreck.

tatty please don't beat yourself up about the daytime naps, it doesn't matter where she naps so long as she does it! But I did get very stressed about cot napping with my first I admit. She started cot napping at about 6 months when she was ready to do it. This time around I'm not even bothering to try. At the minute we seem to be doing 2 naps in the pram and 1 in the sling and I'm happy with this, it's handy for me. I just zip her into her pram suit whether or not we're going outside so she gets the message it's sleep time.

This is really hard and people do forget how hard it is. With dd1, I craved stories of bad sleepers from people with older/adult children and couldn't figure out why everyone was so blasé about it! One day mil suddenly said 'I became obsessed with sleep when mine were babies, I could think of nothing else' and I nearly cried with gratitude! But most of the time people just forget. And also, the right combination of things that work for your dd will be different from anyone else's combination.

stigz hope your DP is ok and not too sore.

flip love the talk of New Yorkers resting on your unused Co sleeper cot, you sound like my kind of girl! Dd2 so far has v dark eyes and (sparse!) reddish hair, nice combo

Sleep still a bit iffy here but she's 16 weeks so that's to be expected really. fate, I have often seen you advocating perseverance with a dummy and I have to say...you are right! It really does help. I still need to resettle dd a few times once she goes down but so long as there's time in the evening for dh and I to have a chat and watch the Good Wife, it's ok.

My baby is suddenly much more sicky than he used to be - does anyone know should I be worried? Is it possible I'm overfeeding him do you think?

To those with older children who also use the bouncy chair for naps- what happens when they get too big for it?

By the time they have grown out of it, presuming you are settling into the big cot at nighttime, then you just transfer your nighttime routine to daytime naps in the big cot upstairs.

By 6 months plus babies start to move away from short cat naps and move towards bigger daytime sleeps, when big cot is more appropriate. By that time, with the bouncy chair, you have taught baby to:

• Sleep without a fight during the day (!)
• Get to sleep alone, without needing a parent to hold them
• Get to sleep without being fed
• To go to sleep when tired, rather than learning to fight the urge to sleep
• To learn how to sleep through sleep cycles

splendide - Being more mobile, jiggling and moving around, often results in more milk coming up.

My DD always has her playtime after a feed and now she is rolling I end up with bits of sick all over the carpet as she's rolling around churning her stomach contents.

Evening all. Dh on astag all weekend and ds1 is having a sleepover tonight at the inlaws so it's been just me and N all day and eve and it's been really nice to be the two of us. Realy nice not to have the juggling 2 children bedtime routine as well. We are going to take it easy tomorrow and if N gives me a lie in or goes back to sleep about 8/9 depending on when he gets up I'm going back to bed too!! Hooray!
Our nights are still as bad but like fate I know that early weaning will not make it better. In fact I know from ds1 that nothing makes it better until they are ready.
No formula, no food, no crawling, no teeth, no walking or anything else people suggested made a blind bit of difference. We got there in the end, I've lowered my expectations massively this time and it's helping my sanity!!!
Infact I'm putting off weaning until at least 6 months, it's too easy at the minute, thinking about food is such a chore and I'm still waiting an appointment for the hospital to see about N's allergies....

Hope you get the chance to go back to sleep in the morning Sazzle
Splendide as Fate said my LO is more sicky when she plays now. There was always that but she didn't want, and some days it felt like she didn't want a whole boobs worth!
First night trying her in her own room and I'm up for a feed. Hopefully back to bed soon.

Every 2 hours still waking and ready to play N is at 5am.... The kid is hardcore I'll give him that. I am not. Gimme allllllllllll the tea!!!

So although I spent what felt like all of yesterday trying to get her to nap she managed two lots of twenty minutes. She then slept for thirty minutes at seven and wouldn't go back to sleep till ten thirty, she woke for a feed at 3, and then woke up at 6.30 and won't go back to sleep. She just seems to be sleeping less and less and less.

(until about six weeks ago she was sleeping from 8-8 with a couple of quick feeds and naps weren't great but they happened. And since then it's just got worse and worse)

tatty it's hard to believe but it won't be like this forever. It's all a phase. Your baby is the same age as mine I think (mine still hasn't done anything like sleeping through) 13 October? In which case it's six weeks or so to go till weaning, things will change again then, if not before. Hang on in there. Do you have any support from partner/family?

We had another mega vomit from DD last night, full feed went everywhere poor love. At least she was in her cot with a waterproof sheet this time!!!

Before I had my first I thought women on maternity leave were o a bit of a jolly! How wrong was I! X

Oh I've name changed!! Was Errr.

sazzle its nuts isn't it! I'm too am wondering when it's gonna get easier although we're not quite on the 2hrlys anymore (not much bloody better though!)

Teo hourly for me last night! At 5am she was up and ready to play. I couldn't keep even one eye open so put her back in the sleepyhead and zonked out... I could hear her chatting but obviously she fell asleep at some point too because the next thing I saw was 7.

We're going to have a nap now too.

We had a better night a bit. He went down at 8 and then woke at 1.30 but just grumbling so I ignored him and he went back to sleep on his own then 3 and I just put a dummy in then he stayed asleep till 5.30! So I think that's the longest continuous time in his cot. He was up for an hour at 5.30 though though then we had fitful sleep with me holding his hand till 8.

Thing is, the naps were great yesterday (stars aligned or something). I feel this justifies my nap obsession but probably doesn't help my anxiety about them. He did half an hour in the morning, 2 at lunch and 45 minutes at 4. He only does 3 good naps about once a week if that though.

We just had an hour and a half nap.

Nice. I only ever get long naps with loads of resettling and messing about but it's kind of worth it.