March '13 - The One With The Babax

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread , and I can assure you all, it'll be a corker.

Hello all from Whitby!

3g is awful and DP is currently reading the instructions (6 pages long) of the Walking Dead board game so this will be brief.

Just wanted to dip in and say plonk you come second to me in the neglectful mother stakes, I went to Edinburgh for a week when DS was 5 months, remember? And DS has stayed overnight with both sets of grandparents about 10 times-ish. He loves it, they love it, we're all happy. I miss him each time, and it was horrible when I went away but I'm glad we did it and continue to. We're all different

Also, DS slept all night in an adult sized single bed last night, and is in it again right now. No midnight wanders, no falling out, just sleep. I've probably jinxed it now, right?

worse I know you've just had a baby and yada yada yada, but how is your poor DH? sounds like you're doing a grand job, and babax sounds like a hungry boy but all that milk must be making him happy. I hope those newborn snuggles are as glorious as I remember them to be. Oh, stop, you're making me broody.

eco your trip away sounds like just what the doctor ordered. And I'd also like to put my name down for a yurt! They look awesome.

Sorry, I can't remember anything now and DP is cottoning on to the fact that I'm not really paying attention, even though I'm saying "mmm" a lot

Fox's miniature party rings. Seven in a bag, five bags in a multipack, two multipacks for a quid, can't go wrong. Also got some with fruity bits in the other day which are the same price but smaller so more per pack. I wouldn't mind if she had two of those because they're so tiny, but whenever she's picked up two she insists on putting one back. Inbuilt junk food controls! I wish I hadn't buggered mine up so much. Although, coincidentally, I haven't eaten any biscuits at all since Thursday.

I am so going to do a little dance when ds is asleep. Its taking agessss for him to vet to sleep.

Maybe I am in denial. I think if I have my first night away from ds I might want more nights away and not want to come home.

Yes my dm parents differently to me but it doesn't bother me. She only has him for a few hours and I am sure she won't do much damage to him. Also. She has done a pretty good job with me and my dbro.

eco, plonky, something you are all wonderful people who have beautiful children. Trust me you are not neglectful, unloving parents.

Ds likes biscuits too. I give him biscotti biscuits or the baby alphabet biscuits and that satisfies him. Obviously I keep the nice but naughty biscuits to myself.

worse please don't stress yourself with having to catch up on our posts. You have a lot going on. When if you have time just pop in and say hi.

When did he get to sleep in the end, yummy? Hope you got some kip in the end.

The man messaged me yesterday to say he'll be round after signing on today. I've half a mind to be out, but that wouldn't be fair on DD, would it?

It was not long after I posted actually he fell asleep. He must have read my post. Poor ds' eyes were stuck shut this morning. GP just said its a viral conjunctivitis. So no work for me today. Back to work tomorrow and dm will probably look after him. Ds was whimpering last night in his sleep. I was thinking he was whimpering in his sleep so it must be teeth. We gave him calpol then nurofen but the poor boy couldn't open his eyes not that he was crying in his sleep! I feel so bad. Another story to tell ds about how silly mummy was.

stormy if you feel better let him be with dd and you go out and have some me time.

Yeah, but it's raining, and going out generally means spending money, and besides, I'd quite like to have some me time in my own house. It's like being in limbo, him coming here to see her all the time. And we have another nap fail. Best dash!

I know what you mean stormy. It's not uncommon for me to take DS out for a few hours or even the day to see my dad or visit friends and leave dh at home for some me time. He's great at helping me have time to go out, for a hair cut or whatever, but never just leaves me to potter at home alone. Sometimes I think it would be lovely to spend relaxed time in my own house!

Thanks for the nappy advice wotta and plonk/eco. Sounds more complicated than I thought!! I may well pm you at some point wotta.

something I meant to say how cute I thought DS's comment was about your hair!! Lovely

eco are you back from your lovely holiday? Hope you had a lovely time and feel refreshed. DH and I haven't spent a night together away from DS (altho we have done separately on occasion, normally when visiting parents) so maybe we need to do this ASAP before we can't!! Altho not sure who I'd leave him with.

Work is stressful at the moment. So much so that I had to have a McD's milkshake on the way home . First one for maybe 5 years? wotta I blame you for mentioning them recently! Forgot the weird combination of being very more-ish whilst making me feel sick at the same time.!! Anyway I will be glad to finish work in the not too distant future.
Hi to everyone else. yummy don't feel bad about the eyes - you weren't to know!! worse hope babax letting you get a wee bit of rest.

Urrgghh. I really thought that by the age of nearly 2, we wouldn't have days that start with a 5 quite so often. And in the holidays as well?! Doesn't she know?!? We've had a couple of nights away from dd, both for weddings, and both times I ruined the lie in by being horribly hungover! I've also done one hen weekend away and left her with DH. Going to be away from her for the longest so far as I'm off to krakow. I'm only away for 3 nights but the very early start on Thursday and very late return on Sunday means I'm going to miss 5 bedtimes. It's making me not want to go, but I'm hoping that I can at least get a bit of sleep! Worse how are you getting on? Is toddleworse still in love with babax or has the novelty worn off?

Has cantturn ever been back whilst I've been away? I still think of her and her DS a lot.

You need two nights off in a row, Gerry. Then you can waste the first lie in with a hangover but still have one to look forward to.

As for early starts, we're only about a month from the spring equinox, which means it'll be dawn at half three in the morning soon enough (for us Northerners at any rate - when's the earliest dawn in London?) so we'll probably all have silly o'clock wakings soon.

I thought there was an interloper on facebook for a moment, but it's just Rainbow with an exceedingly cute toddler. Welcome!

No Gerry, I think she popped in briefly in late September but we've not had an update. I think of her and her wee boy frequently, and hope they're both ok. (Cantturn if you're reading this, let us know how you're getting on x)

I think Krakow will be great - once you get there. I'm always apprehensive about plans to do things without DS, but once I start it's like the old me comes forward and I have fun. You will too! Now get going.

Stormy so, um, when the man spends time with FartyP, he does it in your house and you just have to make yourself scarce? That sounds an interesting arrangement! Can't he take her out? Or is he too delicate/skint/inert? Sorry to be so blunt but I'd hate that arrangement!

Shattered cloth is as easy or as hard as you want to make it. If you want it to be super simple have a look at GNappies. If our next DC has horrible nappy rash I wouldn't hesitate to buy a stock of these. Having a laundry system is important though. I live in a very hard water area, and found I had to strip wash my nappies every now and then. If you get two part nappies (inner bit is absorbent, outer bit is waterproof) some bits that can even go in the tumble dryer. DH and I only gave up on them because he hated them and we made a deal. I loved them! I think between the three of us mad women we can answer all your questions.
McD's milkshake...do you know I haven't had one since I was a nipper? But DH has already given DS several slurps of one. Hope work calms down before that bump of yours gets too big. Speaking of, have you thought about when you'd like to start ML?

Yummy hope DS is feeling better today. Conjunctivitis comes on so suddenly, there's really not much you can do. But keep your hands clean! I got it when DS had it because I'm a filthy numpty.

We have stolen Gerrytoddle's excellent sleep. Last night DS slept 12 hours (and 10 minutes) in his own cot. I had to settle him at 3.30 but it was just a case of laying him back down. DH went in at 7.20 to see what he was up to, and he was just looking at the stickers on his wall and saying 'moon! blue star! whoosh!' He's like a different kid after a good nights sleep. And I'm a different mummy!

P.S Stormy we did have someone from a marching band find and try to join our group...

Yes Plonk, it is a bit of a sucky arrangement. But there's not a great deal I can do about it just now - if I didn't host contact there'd be bugger all. He needs to get a cot sorted (nearly too big for travel cots, I have suggested a cot bed because it'll last a few years). And he doesn't currently have a working boiler, so no hot water. Once those are sorted, I'll be suggesting a schedule of contact primarily at his place. At the moment I can't even really plan anything because I never know if he'll be here from one day to the next. And the jobcentre aren't helping, because they keep dragging him in all the time (enhanced jobsearch on Wednesday afternoon, supported one on Friday, all useless when there are no bloody jobs). I've even got a contact schedule worked out in my head, but in my head it shall remain until Captain Inertia pulls his finger out. Also I ended up eating three king sized twixes yesterday. Got a very well entrenched misery = eat thing in my head, and his presence does not help.

Anyway. He's due at noon so I can go see my mum and do some shopping for Fartypants's birthday. She wants a crown, a rocket, and some pirates. I will see what I can find. And I shan't be stopping off at Maccy D's because I've never eaten there in my life, and by this point that seems a record worth maintaining.

That sounds horribly frustrating. The job centre are douchebags, so I can understand that, but that still leaves the majority of his time to find something to do with his daughter...At least you can leave them to it today though. As it's nice and sunny maybe he could take her to the park. You're doing the right thing by enabling contact, but you don't have to go any further than that really. So much of this is up to him, but as you say, Captain Inertia...

It's hard not to dive head first into a bucket of twixes when you're feeling like that. I'd be exactly the same. Thank god you have the willpower to stay away from McD's. It just makes you feel worse in the long run. So much of our discussion is about FP and her dad, but do you mind me asking how you are? How do you feel post Captain Inertia break up?

In limbo. Looking forward to forging ahead with my own life. Just not quite able to get started yet, which is endlessly frustrating. Other than that I'm as grand as I ever am.

It's like, it's a bit difficult to get an idea what life will be like with us not together, but him being here all the time doesn't seem any different to how things were pre-split. Splitting should mean change, not everything the same except me getting more and more annoyed.

I want to give him a good kick up the backside. Although that's not likely to be effective, is it? I have a friend who sounds woefully similar, and I can't imagine how stressful it must for you.

You're right, the terms should change after a break up. I won't bother to say 'chin up', cos that's not fair. You're doing everything right, and if I lived near you I'd definitely sink a few pints with you!

Any solace in knowing that you're very much in charge of your life now?

I'm hopeful he'll pull his finger out to a degree soon. Had a brief chat before I headed out at lunchtime, his dad is theoretically putting in an appearance for DD's birthday, and he's got more money than sense, so may well be amenable to funding a new cot bed. And bedclothes! Mustn't forget those.

I wish you were closer, Plonk. My circle of potential drinking buddies is rather small these days. But hopefully the future will contain at least one free night a week in which to meet new people. Or just to drink with old people, I'm cool with that too.

Anyway, on to the best news of the day: after months of fruitless searching, I have found a Fartypants sized pirate hat! I also found sketchpads labelled "for boys" and "for girls". It's paper. Bog standard plain white paper. Presumably girls are supposed to grip the pencil with their vaginas, while boys hold their crayons with their prehensile penises.

stormy you have never had Macd well done you. They did a berry and custard pie last month I waited years for them to come out again.

Even though it is not over familiar Friday I will give you a big hug. Your situation is so hard.

Oh and did you know the paper lights up if a girl writes on the boy paper.

plonky I saw some of your photos of the somethings and they were really good. Have you thought about approaching Children's Centres for photo shoots. I know a couple who did them at slightly lower prices It's a great way to drum up work. any that advice goes for you too.

We were too poor to eat out growing up, and by the time I was old enough to go myself I'd realised how bad for you Maccy D's is. There's always been a tastier option. I have had a milkshake from their drivethrough, and may have, ahem, done something illegal in their car park, but I've never been inside.

Lunchtime. "Hide seek fork. Where fork be? Peepo!" Daft child, but at least she's eating.

I love that she's talking like a wench from the Middle Ages Stormy

I've just been out taking photos of hills in the sunshine. It's finally beginning to feel like spring, and I finally have a few bookings and a big trade show to go to, and I might finally be able to legitimately claim I'm self employed. Hurray!

Worse how goes the Babax?

I'm going to wave to everyone else because it's been somewhat quieter here since the end of last week

Hello all
Now I feel I have to justify that milkshake!! It was needed Odd though in that I wanted it but it didn't live up to expectations. yummy on the note of things I miss that have been discontinued I used to love the chocolate muller light yogurts. Gutted that they were only a limited thing. Mind you they were definitely stuffed full of sweeteners and artificial stuff so probably not a bad thing!!
worse how's it going dear?? Hope all ok.
plonk sounds like you've been productive, well done. Hope it starts to take off for you very soon.
I'm working til 36weeks. Well, hoping to anyway. Work is up and down so there will definitely be some easier days. It's just a little unpredictable day to day. I'm trying not to start a countdown yet as it seems too soon!!
betty your evening out sounds lovely. I'm looking forward to one of those when I can next enjoy some cocktails. I did have lunch out with DH the other day though. eco as you say it was lovely to pick somewhere I wanted to eat without rushing or worrying if it was toddle friendly. Having said that there was a very well behaved toddle a few tables away from us!
Forgotten everything else, so happy Wednesday to all.

We had a McD's yesterday on the way back from our hols because car journeys. I wish I could say I've never had one but...mmm

We're on our way to meet our one day old nephew and see our 18 month old niece. He arrived at home in a birthing pool at 16:26 yesterday with SiL being 40+14. And she's hosting her own 30th birthday party on Sunday for about 25 people. She's a brave mad lady. I cannot wait to snuffle a newborn!

DP and I are out for afternoon tea tomorrow followed by registering our wedding, then on Friday, my mum, sis and I are off wedding dress shopping. I right love half term.

Happy Wednesday all!

I genuinely don't understand how people can make it through a hangover without a mcDs... Just doesn't compute.

Well I've just dropped dd off at my mums in preparation for my trip. At the moment I'm just enjoying the peace. Packing just for myself is a revelation, and being able to sit on my arse in front of the tv and MNing at what should normally be the witching hour is very odd indeed. I'm feeling a bit sad, we've just had such a lovely week together so far, feel like I'm being really selfish spending this time away from her when really I should be making up for the rest of the term when I'm working every hour god sends.

.... and finally, one child is in bed. The other.... work in progress. This two malarky has moments of pure joy, others of utter madness, and a few of total despair . Fortunately on balance the joy wins out. Tonight's gem for the memory bank was the toddle stroking Babax's hair while he fed, and pointing out his ears to me. I'm still waiting for her to work out he's a permanent fixture, and as such a rival, but for now am enjoying the fact she seems smitten.

Stormy argh he's being a, well grrr, not sure of a polite word really. Hugs. I hope his dad comes through with some sensible financial help, as at least that would be better than nothing. Hope you find an easier contact solution soon too, as you need some space to move on. You will though.

Gerry enjoy your break and don't feel guilty. If I remember rightly staying at Granny's was a big perk when I was a kid. Definitely didn't feel I was missing out on parent time

Shattered working until 36 weeks, with a toddler at home as well? That's a tough billet. I was pretty uncomfortable by 36 weeks, and tired, and grumpy, and possibly a real cow much of the time. Being a cow at home is one thing, but does tend to be frowned upon at work. I'm sure you are far more balanced than that though!

Speaking of shattered, I am, so I'm going to try and get some sleep before the child that is currently asleep wakes, and wants food, and the one that currently isn't wears DH out to the point where I really need to take over.