March '13 - The One With The Babax

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread , and I can assure you all, it'll be a corker.

Nothing like a lie in until 9am! We had the same after early milk. And I dunno if it's a growth spurt or what. The other day she had her usual breakfast, then three slices of toast over the course of the morning. She's started eating pasta and playing with vegetables. Thursday night she demanded a banana for supper and ate the whole thing. She's stopped leaving trails of pastry or crumbs because she's eating 100% of what she's got. It's weird.

Update on DC2 plan: I suggested a shag tonight, he looked at the calendar, frowned, and said, "Aren't we in the danger zone?" All that complaining and ewwing about the reproductive cycle and it turns out he was listening all along.

Wotta hope ds feels better soon, chicken pox is miserable. And you're right, there's never a good time for these things, but better to get it over and done with early on.

Yummy way to go! There's nothing quite like a good stretch of unbroken sleep.

I'm hiding in the kitchen. I've been batch cooking since lunchtime so now I'm watching soup get soupy. We've had a development in the dc2 department too and are now Trying. Squeamish people should look away now....I accidentally pulled my coil out when checking for strings . After a half hour of panicking we decided that since I had no pain and seemed fine that I'd probably pull through. So the quest for dc2 is ON. And I'm still slightly in shock.

Oh my plonky. You are a brave woman for pulling it out yourself. I am too scared when I think about a professional pulling it out never mind myself. However, I am excited for both of you that you made a decision about a dc 2. Remember to stick those legs in the air when the deed is done

stormy some men actively cba to reply or join in the conversation with us so they pretend they are ignoring us. It reminds me of someone I am married to.

Plonk I just told the man the race is on. Rarely have I seen him look so alarmed. All signs pointing to an egg on its way soon, now I just need to lure him into bed. Which may be difficult as I'm babysitting the littlest niece tonight, and while I generally have no problem with his, ahem, endowment, I doubt it'll stretch across the terrace.

Good job Plonky!

All this talk of 'trying' makes me feel decidedly uneasy which I think is complete confirmation that DC2 is still a long way off in the House of Betty! I have started to think that one day DD needs a sibling though which is definite progress!

Wotta good luck with the pox! We haven't had it here yet but I'd rather sooner too, now that they're out of babyhood it tends to be less horrid the younger they get it. There's loads of good Mumsnet threads for help with the itching too. Something to do with porridge oats in a bag of tights in the bath if my memory serves.

How are you doing Worse? Napping in the pantry? Have you considered setting a camp bed up in there?

Rainbow if you're still lurking have you made the big move yet?

I'm off to make sausage and fennel pasta for tea and open a very cold bottle of wine. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Ooh Plonk. My legs are crossed just reading that!

Mind you, I had my strings checked at my smear test last week. Nurse had spent time in NZ working a lot with Maori women who apparently won't lie on their backs as it's a position of submission, so does them on your side. She said the cervix would just 'pop out' and it must've as it was the easiest and least uncomfortable I have ever had!

Still unsure about whether we have the pox. The few slight 'spots' seem to have faded to dry skin, nothing blistery at all, and he's been on the mend today. Hmmmmm.

Stormy I have a very silly vision of an open all hours scene involving ladders in mind right now!

Good nights to all and I hope worse is being quiet for nice reasons, whether that's relaxing or babaxing!

It made me feel a bit shaky. I thought I'd have a little shufty and see what all the fuss was about. I literally moved my fingers to see how stuck it was,and then it was on the shower floor. Gross. But if it gets us a dc quicker then whatevs. Folic acid has been added to tomorrow's food shop!

Betty your dinner sounds delicious, mind if I pop up?

Stormy I'll be astounded if I'm in the running for this month. I think I missed the window by a few days, never mind recent escapades.

I think I've probably scared worse into her pantry.

Plonky Ewwwww.... that's just, well, errrrr, shudder. Doesn't inspire me with much confidence as to the reliability of the coil though, if it can fall out with a bit of a shufty around. One definitely off my list for the future.

Wotta I'm just relaxing I'm afraid, storing up energy. NCT friend had her baby in the wee small hours this morning, after a 3 day labour, followed by an emergency c-section, in the nick of time, as her previous c-section scar was on the point of rupture. You forget just how scary the whole thing can be don't you. Babax however is showing absolutely no sign of coming out any time soon, so it could be daaaaayyyyyyysssss yet. Sigh.

Wotta fingers crossed it was just a very mild case of pox, and ds is now immune without having been really sick.

Stormy the growth spurts are just weird aren't they. The toddle goes through phases of eating for England, and then she just stops, and goes back to toddle sized meals without any warning at all. I waste a lot of food when that happens.

Slightly nesty day here, as have been making up spare beds and generally tidying up, as when the big day arrives I'll have someone (as yet not sure who) arriving to toddle mind, until PIL can make it down to take over, and if it is at night they are going to need somewhere to sleep. It's decidedly complicated with number 2!

..... and..... I killed the thread.....!

Is being totally freaked out by your child a parenting rite of passage? Sitting at the kitchen table eating tea, me with my back to the door and the window. Fartypants starts gasping excitedly, and when questioned said, "Daddy window!" while pointing to the window. He's not been here all day. Was scared to turn and look lest there be some malevolent stranger peering in.

worse the sudden disinterest in food without warning is maddening! We've had two blissful weeks of ravenous demolishing of dinners, even when they contain veg. Now I'm struggling to get more than hummus and yoghurt down him. But tooth 15 and a cold are combining to make him delightful.

stormy so was the man at the door, or is FP seeing things?

stormy don't scare me I am all on my own until Sunday.

So Betty how was your pasta? Sounded lovely. And yes, good point about rainbow? Moving is painful at the time but almost immediately ok once you're in in terms of hecticNess and pressure.

Wotta how are the faux (hopefully) pox? These toddles get all sorts of rashes for all sorts of reasons just to keep us on our toes.

Worse you sound organised. I have another friend due any day now also so it's exciting times!

Plonky I'm never checking my coil again. If the most gentle of swipes can make it fall out then I'm a bit fearful.

I came back from a weekend away without babe and husband. 48 hours of not mothering and not working. That's not happened since pre birth. It went well and dh had fun times with our girl. However....last night she was tricky to get to sleep and she woke at half two. And didn't go back to sleep. Today has been fun. And heartbreakingly I am now sat in bath listening to her daddy try and get her to sleep. She's shouting and screaming mummy mummy mummy. I have broken her with my selfish ways. Those there attachment parents could have told me that. Dh has told me not to go in. She's gone down happily with him always in the past. It hurts doesn't it....when our mini flesh and blood really passionately need us. I'm now feeling decidedly irresponsible for the weekend in the lakes we have booked for two weeks time where ecotod is supposed to be staying with my sister. I really don't want to mess her head up with my here one day and gone the next antics. Feeling sad! Sorry about the whining.

Yummy, tell us all how your solo week is going? Is your mum due to come over and assist to give you some space?

I'm off to text dh and see if he wishes to renegotiate. Poor girl.

Eco please don't beat yourself up for doing something completely normal. Having your own down time is healthy. Attachment parenting is all well and good until mummy stops being a person in her own right! You deserve a break. Yes she missed you but you came back. And she'll come to learn that you always come back and your love for her never changes.

Don't you dare beat yourself up anymore young lady.

Thanks plonkster. You're right. I think I angst about things when I read stuff online that never would have occurred to me. I'm on a fairly hardcore breastfeeding page as it's helpful for info about the ins and outs of feeding toddlers but lots of other stuff crops up that I seem to file away to beat myself up with. Bloody Internet I'm going to shave my legs and get out of this bath to seek wine. That'll show em.

Oh Eco it's crappy isn't it but they do play us these babes. When Miss Madam was being a monkey the other day and I was off to work she clung to my leg screaming Mummy no work. I cried in the car and rang DH only to hear her giggling and asking for more Peppa. You need to remember that there's lots of reasons we'll need to leave them over the years and looking after yourself to make sure you're at best to look after her is just as valid as leaving for work/a friends wedding/a doctors appointment/a supermarket shop. You certainly shouldn't feel bad about the Lakes, I know as much as anyone how necessary relationship maintenance is for a happy family life.

Cross post. Oopsie!

Eco, She wasn't abandoned, she was with her daddy, who loves her every bit as much as you do, and is quite capable of putting her to bed.

DS will now sometimes refuse to be 'helped' with something (like eating dinner) by mummy but will ask for 'daddy help' or vice versa. Sometimes we play along and sometimes it guarantees the only one helping is the rejected parent . They are testing us, and that's normal.

eco I know how you feel. Some parenting sites/people really know how to make us feel guilty. Ds has cried last week and today when I dropped him off to nursery. I cry on the way to work and vow never to work when I have dc2.

I am worried about the psychological impact of dh going away. I ask ds where is daddy and he says daddy flies. He is so cute.

You need that break eco. The lakes trip sounds great. I think we need to leave our children so they know we will come back to them. Eco she probably just wanted a cuddle because she missed her awesome mummy.

Solo parenting has not been too bad but that is because ds has been relatively easy going. The isolation at night is killing me. I will try to get dbro or dm to stay over for a night or so. I just need to have an adult conversation. Daytime is easy because I keep myself busy.

Eco there is an awful lot of utter tripe on the internet about how we should and shouldn't parent our children. Ignore it. Half of it is written by people who are weirdly over invested for their own (and sometimes not very healthy) reasons. Attachment parenting my arse

If it helps the only child I know who was 'attachment parented' ended up so insecure and frightened when they started school they had a total meltdown to the point where the mum ended up having to sit in lessons for the first term. Hardly a big success then.

Being away from you is healthy and normal for dd. You're giving her the most valuable gift any child needs in life - independence. The main reason I started the toddle at nursery wasn't to give me a break (although that is nice) it is because I saw my niece turn into a super confident outward going little girl through her nursery time. It has done the same for the toddle. She's happy, loves going there, has made friends, and doesn't get upset if I am not around. That's great for her, and for me.

All that aside there are times when only dadda will do, and others when dadda is a horrible smelly man, and if mamma doesn't turn up pdq something very bad will happen. Totally normal, if a tad annoying! I can guarantee that's all that was happening tonight. Tomorrow, who knows, you might be the one who is out of favour!

Yummy I get where you're coming from. Home alone at night is that bit more miserable. Hope you get some company soon.

Stormy do tell.... who was at the window????!!!!

Hi all! Still here but struggling to find time at the moment with the new job. We have decided not too move as commute has turned out not too be so bad and we love our home so it's a relief to make the decision to stay.

worse can't believe you are so close to the end of your pregnancy and your second is almost here. I miss that feeling of anticipation and also looking forward to birth as I loved giving birth.

betty hearing about second babies make me feel odd too - we have decided that DD will definitely be our last so DH is getting the snip. Our family just feels complete and I don't feel any broodiness. The only bit I'm sad about it never being pregnant and giving birth again however those are not reasons to have another child for life so it's the right decision for us. I am however enjoying hearing all of your plans to add to your families!

eco that sounds o tough to stay away when you can hear they want you. I must admit I can never resist. But as everyone else has said you need to make the right decisions for you all as a family and if you need some time away then you shouldn't ever feel guilty about it - being with daddy is awesome according to my DD!

On the matter of not judging and not making parents feel bad for their choices, by way of full disclosure DH and I are fully committed attachment parents because that is what works for our family so if we could keep the attachment parent bashing to a minimum that would be appreciated. We all have different styles and different things work for us all and some of the things I read in the last few posts made me feel as awful as I am sure eco felt when reading negative comments about other parenting styles.

There was no one at the window. But the door wasn't locked, so if there had been... Hence the freaked out!

No complaints about attachment parenting from me, so long as no one wants me to try it! I suspect we all parent best when we have a child whose parenting preferences align with our own. For us, the benign neglect works well. I'm still starting to fret a bit about nursery though. We may not do the AP thing, but in the past year she's pretty much always had a parent floating around somewhere nearby. It's worrying to think of leaving her somewhere with no one she knows.

stormy I have that worry too when DD starts some form of nursery next year. However she has had no problem settling in with our nanny when I'm at work. We never have any tears at all when I leave so am hopeful that's I take that as sign of good adaptability when the time comes to try nursery.

Rainbow I think attachment parenting is fine, but I'm not going to deny that I've read certain things online (posted by AP parents) that make me look a bit like this . I think realistically most people don't subscribe to a particular style of doing anything, so when you read some real fervent AP stuff on the internet it can seem quite extreme. I think we'd be incredibly naive to deny that people who are insecure about their own 'parenting style' do and say things simply to shame others, and therefore feel better about themselves. I think that's what Eco came across on the long term BF page she mentioned. I also think those pages are like a big competition, with every parent trying to outdo one another.

I intensely dislike the label 'Attachment' anything to be honest, as it implies that those of us who don't actively subscribe to its principles are not attached to our kids. Of course we are, as Stormy has shown. Please don't feel that any of us are bashing attachment parenting, but I think it's not uncommon to run into comments by some who take their parenting very seriously, and leave with one or two raised eyebrows.

Sorry that became an essay! I hope it makes sense in spite of double negatives.

Stormy does she start from her second birthday? I'd be tempted to ease her in slowly, and line up some rewards for her being such a big girl. What hours will she be doing? I think even those of us who've been doing nursery a long time like me and Wotta still run in to the occasional wobbly lip at drop off, but honestly, as long as you have faith in the keyworkers your lovely DD will flourish.

Oh, I'm sure she'll be fine once she's settled in. It's just as eco said though - the thought that your baby might need you and you're not there. She'll be starting after Easter, all being well. Haven't worked out hours yet. Expecting to hear about funding by the end of January, and once that's sorted I can get her signed up. Hoping for the nursery round the corner where the littlest niece goes, then at least she'll know someone.