March '13 - The One With The Babax

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread , and I can assure you all, it'll be a corker.

Hello from heaven.

Stormy and Betty get yourselves better! It's the weekend and being sick at weekend sucks bum.

Shattered I'm considering a half marathon in October despite my pelvic floor. I'll offer a running commentary on my training if the hope that my tales of leaking send you swiftly to post birth pelvic floor exercises Gerry, you go girl! You are some sort of super hero person. You are with 'just' your teacher credentials, but then throw in all the challenges on top to and...., well, you're great.

Plonky how were your cake pops?

Dear Worse thank you for sharing a little of your birth story. You're a superhero too! Yikes that sounds fast. My friend due same as you ended up having waters broken at 1800 and having a baby at 1921 a few days ago. Bleddy hell. Were the midwives able to stitch you up? Brilliant that babax is feeding like a trooper and you have your milk. How does it feel compared to last time and also, are you enjoying sleep and food now? Any chance of a few Facebook pics when you get chance. I can't believe a newborn isn't pretty!

We've travelled from Norfolk to Leicestershire to the lakes today (and the most north western tip at that). We dropped off ecotod with my sister/dad and then headed up here to the snowy fells, roaring fires, special welcome cake/champagne/strawberries, a massive bed that feels like lying in a cloud and a roll top bath plonked in a room the size of my house. I am saying this to explain why there's not terribly huge amounts of guilt flying around. I'm too busy having a nice time and drinking wine

Uninterrupted sleep, a lie in, a whole day out without naps, leisurely eating out and proper fell walks will follow. Fan-Fecking-tastic.

Happy weekends everyone.

ps. Yummy, a new TV sounds like a good trade for a valentines night out. It means you can have a romantic night in instead. Fun!

Oh! You've put your very very pretty boy on Facebook worse! Please excuse my impatience :-) He is a peach! X

I want to be where you are eco! That actually sounds like heaven. my sister's wedding gift to me and DH was a voucher for a cosy room in a boutique hotel in Chester. I think we'll have to redeem it soon and have a bloody good dinner out some ruined castle visits. Handy that the PILS live so close to Chester.
did dd's croupy cough improve? I bet she's pleased as punch to be spending the weekend with your relatives. They'll make a huge fuss of her and give her lots of chocolate.

DS was in no mood for trial and error by the time we got round to baking, so the cake pops didn't happen. Peanut butter honey raisin oat things did though. He turned his nose up at the final product but happily licked the bowl.

Worse the pic of Babax had me properly broody. You lucky lady! Hope you've managed some sleep.

Betty good night?

Stormy yes! Why is it that when certain men get a cold they resort to lounging on the settee so noone else can sit, limbs flailing with every hacking cough, declaring their truly imminent demise? I own one of these types of men. Minor illnesses are incredibly stressful as a result, and yes, I've told him he's being a dick. Because it's all a big and only somewhat valid reason to shirk every household and family duty for a whole weekend. Which is not exactly reciprocated when I'm ill. Half of me wants to blame the PILS for the relationship model they bestowed to DH. And the other half wants to cry 'bloody men'. I suspect we make it easy for them to behave this way.

As it's Valentine's Day we're arguing. Mainly because I started a photography course and so am very behind on other work. We both want to go out for lunch. And rugby, one of the few sports DH had hitherto shown no interest in, is on at lunch time and suddenly DH MUST watch it. Not fantastically compatible. We also have some ttcing to get on with so we need to be friends.

I was prophetic yesterday. Woken at 6.35 by an fb message cancelling my day off because he's got "man flu", in his words. He has offered a "sorry", which I'm sure will be a marvellous help to me as I plod on through another day of solo childcare with the plague. He doesn't seem to grasp that sorry is an utterly useless word unless it's backed up by actions. Grrrr.

worse, he's gorgeous.

Thanks guys .

Now here's an interesting observation. Sleep deprivation aside new borns are just so easy in comparison to toddlers. A case of feed, change, put in sling and get on with stuff. Toddlers you have to feed, change, run round after, clear up devastation of tv house after, prevent serious injury of when back turned and entertain. Much harder work . Oh and you know how everyone tells you dc1 will take a while to adjust to dc2, and introductions must be done carefully? Ignore that. The toddle loves babax, as in really loves him. I'm sure she will spend at least 15 years of her life winding him up, thumping him, and complaining about him, but for now she prefers to pat him, stroke his head, proudly tell everyone he is a baby. Just in case they didn't know and all.

Eco enjoy, sounds absolutely wonderful!

Stormy man flu.... tell me about it! So I've just given birth, had my under carriage stitched up, and am mid some kind of medieval sleep deprivation experiment.... but DH has a cold, and a gummy eye, and is really suffering poor bloke. Like dying almost

worse she loves him now. She might think slightly less of him when she realises he's here to stay!

Absolutely nothing interesting happening here today. I swore at an idiot teenager but only inside my head. I managed to scrape a hole in the side of a four pint plastic milk bottle and left a trail of milk all the way home. That's as exciting as it's going to get, from the looks of things.

Consider my legs well and truly crossed worse. Ring of fire I had erased that from my memory.....

eco sounds gorgeous. Hope you are having a fabulous time and not worrying about ecotod. I'm a wee bit jealous!! Yes keep me posted on the training

Hope the men are manning up.... plonk did you manage your lunch out?
Did someone say 2 year check? Don't think we have one of those here. Not that I mind as I don't think much of the HVs but odd if it's different around the country.

Hope you start to get a bit of sleep worse. You need to hand babax over and get napping whilst DH is around!!

So cloth ladies, should I bother getting some for DC2 or just stuck with disposables? How much hassle is it really?
Happy valentines day ladies!!

Worse I had to laugh at the thought of you recovering from giving birth, and DH suffering with a terrible cold. Lurgy is horrible, but come on! I'd forgotten all about the ring of fire. In fact, I've forgotten so much, I don't even remember how being pregnant feels. I think I was kind of hoping that baby no. 2 just kind of flops out. I am happy to be corrected.

Stormy I hate it when the milk does that. Urgh.

Shattered nope we've decided to have lunch out tomorrow. We all need new clothes too, so are turning it into a proper trip out. And we've got some nice things in for tonight's dinner, so all is good. We have ice cream about once a year because DH's skin doesn't agree with it, so that's tonight's treat.

Cloth nappies though...well we used them on and off for awhile. First tried when he was a month old. So good at containing poonamis, but we didn't have enough for full time use, so they quickly got sold. Tried again when he was about 7 months, and used them until June, when DH said enough and we sold them all. So two bits of advice from me : buy enough to make it worthwhile (once you decide it's a commitment you want to make), and make sure your partner's on board. It's not loads more washing, maybe 2-3 loads a week, and if you get certain materials they dry inside in the winter within 24 hours, ideally within an afternoon on the line on a sunny day. But it's another thing to keep on top of, so don't feel pressured to stick with them if it's too much hassle. There are lots of pros and cons to consider. If DH was on board we'd have used them full time from birth to potty, especially as we found DS got no soreness whatsoever with them.
Eco and Wotta have far more experience than I do though!

The day did get more exciting: I discovered the booster chair has legs! Fartypants very much enjoyed being able to see her sausages properly for once.

Evening all!

Worse, glad you're surviving! Hope DH recovers from his traumatic man flu soon!

I had a fantastic time last night, a much needed night of chat with a very wonderful friend. We went out early, I was in bed before midnight and had 500ml excellent wine, 2 cocktails and a shot by then so I'm feeling a bit wobbly today! We have just had an incredibly tasty dinner with a bottle of wine though so I'm obviously getting over it!

Stormy DD had sausages tonight too! Processed meat and carbs are the only guaranteed winners for dinner time here!!

Still heavenly here and reports from sister about ecotod are all glowing, good eating, napping, sleeping, playful, cheerful

Walked on snowy mountains today, scrambling, and on ice. So toddler unfriendly it was thrilling. I think the main thing I am appreciating is the lack of hurry in my day. Not to get food NOW, not to get back home for nap, not to finish a meal out before we annoy people, not to finish a walk before the novelty wears off. It's all so liberating. And I really appreciate it. I was saying today how little we appreciated the freedoms we had pre children. Every parent should be given an annual gift of a couple of days away. I think I'm going to start an annual tradition. I think it will refresh my soul, these last couple of days.

Shattered, have you got a nappy cafe or library (you must have loads near where you live actually as it's all very right on and lovely round your way). I'd go along, chat, maybe borrow some different sorts. We used cloth from about a month old until about 18 months. She outgrew the current batch and we were skint so didn't do the initiAl outlay for a new lot. They worked pretty well for us but we did have a couple of stonking summers which helped with drying. We used little lamb bamboo shaped nappies with bomb proof covers. They never leaked. I would buy half micro fibre and half bamboo next time. bamboo fab for overnight as so absorbant but are pigs to get dry, hence need for some micro fibre ones. Anyhow, Wotta is a guru and she'll be along soon. My size 1 are in Norfolk in storage but my size 2 are accessible if you'd like to borrow those I say borrow and it makes me twitch as it obviously means I'm not one hundred per cent fixed on ecotod being an only

eco your time away sounds amazing and obviously ecotod is enjoying her holiday too with her auntie.

worse you are a right trooper. I hope your dh does recover quickly and give you some time out so you can sleep. You may hit a wall soon with the lack of sleep and demands of baby and toddler so take it easy and accept any help you can from friends and family. How is breastfeeding this time round? You said babax was feeding every hour,was worselet like this? Ds was like this and it broke me and moved over to ff. It is so hard trying to keep up with hourly feeds. By the time you feed, wind and change nappy it was time for another feed. I ask this because I don't know if all babies are like this and if so I will be more prepared more mentally rather than physically if I have another baby.

It is lovely to hear worselet is getting on very well with Babax. These toddlers are so unpredictable at time we never really know how they are going to relax. My mother still tells the story when I used to cry when people bought presents for my younger brother and not for me. I was 5 at the time and spoilt. Now I know to buy a little gift for the elder child when seeing the new baby.

plonky my dh is down with the man flu too. Ds has sticky eye and a cold. So it looks like dh thinks he will be off duty these couple of days. Sounds like you have a good trip planned for tomorrow and great you was able to avoid an argument about today's lunch.

Ds woke up and now I can't get back to sleep and I am afraid I have caught the lurgy too.

eco your holiday sounds lovely. Great that you have the confidence to leave DD now - I envy that as I don't think we will get to have a night away for another few years yet.

yummy frequent feeding is normal newborn breastfeeding behaviour - its how they stimulate your supply and obtain comfort. I got through it with a comfy feeding chair, box sets and an amazing supportive husband who tended to my every need until the breastfeeding settled at around 8 weeks.

worse hope your DH steps up! Had a little chuckle over your post of the comparison between post birth recovery and a cold!

Eco your holiday sounds amazing! I'm very jealous. I love the lakes and we have some fantastic memories from short breaks there pre-madam. If you're not careful you'll have far too much fun and DD won't be an only in about 9 months!!!

Worse, hope you're not too sore. I found witch hazel on a maternity pad amazing for soothing sore bits, especially if it had been in the freezer for a few mins! That and lots of warm baths and sitting on 2 cushions with a gap between for a few days got me through the worst of it.

Rainbow do you mind me asking why you think it'll be years before you leave DD? I think it's fab the bond you all have as a family and you obviously know what's right for you guys but I would go potty without a bit of time just being me and not mummy. Have you got family around or friends that DD is close to? If madam didn't see my parents so often I think it'd be hard to leave her because she doesn't have the same confident attachment to anyone else.

I read that as a few years before Rainbow and Mr Rainbow get a night to themselves. Understandable if you've no suitable babysitters close by. It'll be a couple of years yet before I'm happy with DD having parentfree sleepovers, but if my sister lived closer or my brother had a spare room I'd be happy for either of them to have her overnight. My dad's close enough, but he's a bit creaky these days and toddler wrangling exhausts him, so we're waiting a couple of years.

Can't remember what anyone else said, sorry! Except eco's holiday - glad you're all having a lovely time. I'm well jealous! If I ever win the lottery I'm planning a holiday in your yurt though.

Exchange with DD yesterday:
"Oh dear..."
"What's the matter?"
"Finished."
"What's finished?"
"Andy and Kip ."
No lengthy pauses or anything. It was like a proper conversation. Very cool! And the imagination's definitely coming on - this morning she stuck three megabloks together, said, "Look Mummy, rocket! Whoosh!" She's been running around pretending to fly to the moon ever since.

Dm lives close by but I have yet to pluck up courage to have a night away. I think I would be too worried and I wouldn't have a good night away. Silly really because dm is quite capable of looking after ds.

I can sympathise with not wanting to leave the toddles over night if you don't have trusted family on hand. I have only ever left dd with PIL, and only a handful of times. They have the same parenting ethos as me, and love her as much as I do. I'd not leave her with my parents who although no less caring are a bit 1970s in their approach and would leave her to cry if she was being a PITA about bed time.

Eco your holiday still sounds wonderful. If I wasn't feeling so blessed and lucky right now I could even start to get jealous! Make the most of it. You've completely earned it, and it sounds like dd is having a pretty good holiday of her own. Little ones like being spoilt by family. The toddle's face when PIL turn up says it all.

Betty Fun night! About time too you let your hair down. You medics work far to hard.

Right now Babx is asleep.... and not in the sling !!!!! I am stunned. Ok, so he's not in his bed, he's in mine, where he has taken up residence having ousted DH to the spare room, but it's a start. Last night he fed and napped on me in the bed, but this morning I was able to slid him onto the mattress. I've sussed the issue. Definitely reflux. His favourite position to sleep after a night fed is with his chin propped in my boob and a big grin on his face. It's hilarious. Lie him flat and within seconds he is wriggling and grizzling, and eventually possetting. No idea how to fix this, but at least I have a starting point to work from.

He's awake....

Worse we found propping the Moses basket frame to near 45degrees (tied to the bed!) helped, as did holding him upright after a feed for 20mins or so before trying to pop him down. Baby gaviscon helped a bit. And time sorted it out totally.

Shattered, I could bore for England on cloth, but will try not to. Do pm me if you like! We did a local trial bucket scheme at 7-8wks which was good in that you get to try different types for fit, drying, complexity etc. I certainly ended up buying differently having tried them for a month!

Bamboo is most absorbent but takes forever to dry - 2 days on a drier over our Rayburn. We had some for nights but eventually have reverted to sposies for overnight. Dh was convinced that he got red after nights in cloth and it wasn't worth the battle. Otherwise I am 100% microfibre which dries in a couple of hours in summer and overnight by the Rayburn in winter. I do 3 loads of nappies and wipes a week. He's in them full time in the day, even at nursery (despite the fact nappies are included in the rate) and it's not really been a bother. They send his wetbag home at the end of the day - just had to train them not to nappy bag them first.

I use all in ones, so no pockets to stuff or wraps to sort, it's just like putting on a sposie. Mine are also all birth to potty. They were a little bulky on him at 3m when we bought our own, but still fit fine and mean no extra outlay. I would recommend snaps (poppers) rather than Velcro as even using the washing tabs the Velcro does get tired, and actually snaps are quite adjustable enough. My favourite nappies are my bumgenius freetimes which both dh and I reach for first. Not a cheap nappy but they still look good and nothing broken or worn.

I do use them out and about - just have a wetbag which comes with us although I used baby wipes not washables when I'm out. Washable wipes way better at cleaning up poo though. I mean miles!

I keep them in a lidded bucket with a removable mesh bag liner. When washing just whip mesh out into machine - no touching! They work their way out in the wash. Don't find smell a problem, I wash about every other day.

There is a technique to washing them, you need to understand your machine. But loads of advice on this so I won't get into it here (unless you want me to ).

One thing though - always buy colour free Calpol otherwise you will dye your nappies purple and it's not fixable!

Let me know if you want more info... I'll shut up now though!

Eco hope having lovely hols. Hope all lurgy going yummy, Betty, worse et al

Ah I now see I have completely failed to see the distinction between a night out and a night away! Oops! I'm very lucky to have had both and for DD to have loved it. It looked for about 16 months like I would never have either!!!

Madam is mostly spending this afternoon begging for sweets and biscuits 'pleeeeease Mummy, pleeeeease' and then weeping uncontrollably when her quest fails. Any bets on how long before I break and she has her mits on the choc digestives?

Betty I get around the constant biscuit requests by having very very small biscuits in especially for DD. When they're seventeen calories a pop I'm not going to worry if she has a few most days. If I gave her chocolate hobnobs (my biscuit of choice) instead she'd be wider than she is tall by now. Don't cave though, cos if you do and she learns tantrums lead to biscuits you'll have more problems. Easier said than done though!

betty I did mean a night away with DH but actually I am yet to have an evening out away from DD. Would be happy to leave DD with DH but breastmilk (from the source) is still the nighttime comfort and I can't see that ending anytime soon. I feel it would be unfair to DD to just take it away suddenly one evening so I have decided to wait till she self-weans night and day. I don't really feel like I have no time to be myself and not mummy - I have that at work and in my evenings are my own. Plus I know that looking back, this will be such a short part of my life with DD. Mind you, I wouldn't mind a night away with DH but there is no family I would trust with DD overnight - both sets of grandparents had totally different child rearing styles that I would not be comfortable. One set constantly criticise our parenting and have gone expressly against our wishes for DD in the past while she was in their care (eg no spoon feeding) so I don't have the necessary trust. I have a fantastic sister in law though who will be the person to help out when the time is right for us to have a night away.

We get constant biscuit requests too - but thankfully that usually can be satisfied with a savoury cracker or breadstick. However despite being entirely sugar free for the first year of her life, DD is now totally familiar with real biscuits, cake and ice cream! Luckily she seems to have an inbuilt limit as to how much she can eat at one which is quite small - unlike me!

Wotta I'm not surprised you gave up on cloth at night. it's a nightmare once they're sleeping through. As soon as we found a night nappy that was absorbent enough it was so chunky ds couldn't put his knees together. I do miss bumgenius though, my favourite by a country mile.

Worse reflux sucks, you have my sympathies. I found it got worse when we switched to formula too but he sounds like a good feeder. Hope he outgrows it soon. Thank goodness for slings!

We first had a night away from ds when he was 12 weeks (Friends wedding in that London). Hated it. Left ds with my mum again when he was 5 months and loved it, a slap up meal and cocktails for my birthday. Do I win the most neglectful mummy prize? Only done it a handful of times and I do massively look forward to some time off. Both sets of grandparents do things slightly differently (like low fat sugar laden food, and have forgotten how to incorporate winding down time into the evening) but it's a treat for them and ds, not to mention a massive favour for us so I tend to say nothing. I'd happily leave him with both aunties too. But not dh's brother. he'd probably take him to a&e if he stubbed his toe.

I had an afternoon nap today. Twas glorious. Woke up to a cleanish kitchen and a cuppa.

Plonky that sounds nice. What is dh after? Oh actually I recall you saying he's a clean freak on occasion, am I right? Anyhow, sounds like a good arrangement: you sleep and he cleans. How was your shopping? What did you get for yourself and where are the nice (cheap) toddle clothes at these days?

Betty we have the biscuit requests too. I like stormy's idea. I'll try that. Also, sometimes, like rainbow, round savory biscuits work. But sometimes they are salty so it's whatever is the lesser of two evils. Sometimes the choc digestive is the lesser of the two evils on offer

Stormy if I didn't have business partners I would invite you to the yurts right now and offer some help with farty. The chat about a night away with the man made me wonder how things are currently on that score. Has any progress been made since you last posted about it?

Worse boobs are multi purpose. Food and pillows right now. Perfect! You never said how the eating is going now you've not got the heartburn stuff going on. Is it back to a joy? Are you ravenous with all the feeding you're doing? How is dh with his new look family? It all sounds blissful but I can't believe I'm saying that so soon after experiencing it myself. Blissful yet challenging is probably a better description.

I probably sounded like a not very stealth boaster with my previous posts. I hadn't intended that. What I had intended was to communicate how amazing time away can feel (at the right time), even for someone full of caution like me. I was all up for not coming on Friday as ecotod had had several weeks of pretty broken nights and she's still breastfeeding morning and night. It turns out she's likely had a more fun time without us, and I say that genuinely rather than to make me feel better about my time away. My sister reports that she has had no tears or tantrums, a great appetite, no asking for milk and great sleeping (my sister is sleeping in a room adjoining Ecotod's so I trust that this isn't a case of her not hearing her). So it seems that these clever toddles know how to play the system. And their parents! I have been curious about how she's been and was mildly worried until the first glowing communications came through on text. I have the odd pang. But overall I've not felt a terrible sense of missing her. Instead I've been relishing the freedoms and pleased that she's so happy with my family. That's what I've wanted for her. Not sure if that makes me sound like a hard and unloving mother but it's my truth! I am excited to see her tomorrow and see what the outfall from our time away will be. I'll let you know. But meanwhile, any people with the means to get away I'd encourage you not to dilly about it.

The best bit is that there's no end of holidays blues being experienced right now. We're making the most of our last evening and excited to be leaving tomorrow for the grand reunion (which will inevitably be an anticlimax where she looks briefly up from her toys and then continues as she was).

Betty your chat about conceiving a sibling made me remember that it was this very spot that ecotod was conceived. If the time comes to make another then yes, this would be an excellent location

eco hard and unloving is quite the opposite of what you are. Someone once said that your job as a parent is basically to make yourself redundant. You've managed to produce a child who can cope very well with being away from you for a few days. I'd say that's evidence you're doing grand.

As for the man... if we were playing word association and you mentioned him I'd have to say "inertia". But we've not seen him since Thursday (because apparently the world stops turning when he has a bit of a sniffle) and Fartypants and I have been having a great time. I'm a better parent when he's not around.

That's very sad for him Stormy. It means he had the potential to miss out on so much. It makes me very glad that FP has a very solid mum. your biscuit idea is fab, which ones are they? Toddlesaurus is rather partial.

eco I completely agree with Stormy. I'm a big believer that your job as a parent is to make yourself redundant by producing a happy, secure adult. The groundwork you've laid with dd is testament to how well you're doing with her. Definitely not hard and unloving.

Trip to the lakes sounds perfect. I'm jealous! Can we have a March mothers and toddles yurt getaway?

DH is a clean freak yes, but he also intensely dislikes washing up, so cleaning days can be quite angsty. The shopping trip was a success. I braved topshop for the first time in many years and got a new jumper. We ended up in Next for ds. Not my shop of choice but we were pushed for time, otherwise I'm a fan of h&m for him. And I got a big bowl of ramen to really make me smile.