March '13 - The One With The Babax

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread , and I can assure you all, it'll be a corker.

Shattered you've had some sound advice here. I think this is a really common age for bedtime resistance. Maybe they realise that mummy and daddy don't go to bed then, so Things Happen that they're not part of. Maybe it's the last bit of teething. Or some kind of developmental leap meaning they can't unwind in the usual way. Either way, I think it'd be worth experimenting with not offering naps and seeing how that fares. DS is napping today because the little shit angel woke me at 5.39, and I have work to do. Otherwise he naps every three or so days.

DSis is doing grand thanks. She's obviously quite anxious, and is feeling like she wants an ELCS after last time. For us, name wise, there's one name that's a bookies favourite that we love for a girl, although the spelling would be different.

Stormy let us know how you get on with the groclock. DS needs to learn when it's not time to get up. I think I'm going to be putting his groblind back up.

I spotted a big fat molar trying to push its way through. DS is coping well, only very slightly dribbly and grumpy. Had been expecting t'apocalypse so this is great.

Thanks ladies. Lots of good advice. I should say he does still sleep 8.30-7.30 ( it was 8-7.30 until this week) and will nap for at least 2-3 hours if I don't wake him. He is also teething, completely off his food and very clingy. So probably all of the above things mentioned. Hmm . I will have to think about it, maybe stop the nursery naps (where I don't have to deal with it!) and stop another nap in the week . You can guess I'm partly resisting as I'll be extremely knackered in the next few weeks and will need a bit of down time.

I can see where DSis is coming from plonk. I would very much hope she would have a sympathetic obstetrician who would let her do what she wants.
something a snow filled wedding sounds lovely. Is your dress warm? (Old biddy question) my friend got married in Dec and had a lovely shawl that she took off later when inside.
We've had a lovely trip out and DS is napping (he was up half the night with The Teeth). I am going to lie on the sofa for an hour!

Going back full time is only based on a financial decision. My plan is to go full time save for a deposit get a mortgage and have baby 2. I reckon ds will benefit more in the long term if he had a stable home and a sibling. It is going to be very hard and dh will have to step up more for it to work. If it is too much of a strain on our family we will have to rethink our plans. I realise I have been lucky enough to have been part time for a year. 2 of my friends have had to go back full time because their work has not been as accommodating and for financial reasons. Working part time is a great work life balance but my income comes in and it all goes out again. I could go back part time again in the future

something working more hours has its benefits and draw backs. It depends on the long term plans for your family. Also,you and your dh to be will have to decide together because it will affect you all.

shattered may be go with the flow with ds. On a day he wakes early he may need a short nap otherwise he will be moody for the rest of the day.

Dh has been at home for 2 days and I think he ready to go back to work. He is exhausted with ds tantrums. Our biggest news is we lost ds in tescos today. In a split second he ran to the other side of the supermarket and was by the doors.

Ds will be sleeping in a bed tonight. I put him in his cot last night. I heard a thump and him say yesssss. He jumped over his cot and ran into the sitting room with a big fat cheeky grin. It was like he broke free from prison.

yummy can't believe your DS broke free from the cot! That's amazing climbing skills. Does make me glad we never bothered with a cot though as the thought of DD trying to climb over the top makes me break out in a cold sweat!

plonky I hope your DSIL finds a supportive consultant whatever her biirth choices are this time. Its so important to feel some control. For me that control was to have a drug free homebirth so I was determined to have that (and hid my intentions from everyone who might disapprove to reduce stress!). We also got loads of private scans - partly for reassurance and party because in my mind if it happened again then I felt I would have let me spend more time getting to know DD2. Sending your DSIS lots of good thoughts in any case.

worse sorry to hear your illness is harder to shake off than you hoped but prioritising your health sounds like absolutely the right thing to do. Its so lovely that your two get on so well - love hearing about it!

shattered DD dropped naps before 18 months so no helpful comments but does sound like your little one is on his wayto dropping them. Will be hoping for an early arrival for you soon!

Tantrums are pretty tricky here when they occasionally happen but mummy milk still pretty magic so we manage to stop most in their tracks before they get too bad - a quick breastfeed gives us a few mins to regroup and start afreshh anyway. stormy Pretty glad we are not in the 80s when spanking was so acceptable - I have terrible memories of being spanked through my childhood even though my parents did it mildly - my mind still boggles at how they, as rational and highly educated human beings, thought using violence against a child no matter how mild was acceptable even though I know times were different.

Plonky, Shattered I hope them pesky royals haven't picked any of your top names. I probably shouldn't say it, but Diana??? I feel sorry for Kate, ever haunted by the ghost of William's 'perfect' mother. First that hideous ring, and now the name. If I was her I'd have held out for Carole

Rainbow with you on the spanking. I have less than lovely memories of being given a 'thick ear', roughly translated as a clout round the head. Why would anyone do that?

Yummy how scary, I'd have been hysterical. Glad you found him safe and sound. They are so fast though, and running off is a favourite game here too.

Good luck with the bed transition. I bet he loves it.

Something your wedding plans sounds wonderful. I love winter weddings, they feel so warm and cozy .

You're right that Worselet is the perfect big sister, I'm so proud of her. So many people told me she'd like him until she realised he was staying, and then she'd kick off that I'd started to believe it. In reality she has loved him from day one. Her favourite thing ever is tucking a blanket round him and rocking him in his bouncy chair. Soooo sweet.

Hope you all had a lovely Bank Holiday weekend. Mine's been good. I love antibiotics. They make me feel normal! I'm dreading finishing the course. Still pumping with a view to starting up bf-ing again though, although I'm dubious given how long it's been. My milk is kind of disappearing. Oh well... there are worse things.

Fingers crossed for tonight. The Toddle has woken at least once every night since she got back from Cumbria and it's wearing me out! I get a nice cuddle out of it though.

Hope the toddle slept through Worse. We've had another 5.30 wake up so need to rethink our strategy. Given that I was up at 2 being sick I could really do with staying in bed this morning.

I reckon you're pigheaded enough to bf after the antibiotics if you want to, even if it's not exclusive . That's a good think btw. It doesn't sound like supply is necessarily a problem as long as you're well enough.

Yummy what a terrifying experience! I dread ds doing this. It's one of the many reasons I try to only pop to the shops with him in he buggy! Does he have reins? Actually that's a daft question, as I can definitely imagine him escaping them.

Rainbow, shattered dsis has a very lovely consultant who came to speak to us all in person when she was in labour. He has offered as many scans as she wants, and whatever kind of birth she feels necessary. Rainbow I'm like you, and think I'd take the approach that you did. But she wants control in a different way I think. She seems to be due around Dec 10 and I'm Nov 13 so if she accepts a section at 37 weeks...well let's say mum can barely contain her excitement.

And nope, Princess Charlotte doesn't share a single name with any that are on our list. Thank goodness. people said the dumbest things to us after Prince George was born, as if we'd purposefully picked that name.

And yes I'm very pleased to be parenting in an era when physical discipline is not the done thing. How crazy to assume that you can teach anyone anything with violence. I remember my mum spanking my legs once and then she cried. I hid in a cupboard for much of the day. After that she kind of realised there are more effective ways of getting your point across!

The thing is, teaching your kids not to do stuff via pain has been a legit parenting method since forever. I find it more crazy that society's had such a sudden about turn on that one. I'm glad it's not the done thing any more though, because I'd be rubbish at it. Fartypants has had the back of her hand swatted on occasion (because playing with the gas rings on the cooker is not a good idea) but as she doesn't cry, I don't think it actually hurts her. She just looks affronted.

I feel like a decrepit old person. My hip is knackered, my lungs feel like there's a colony of frogs died in there, I can't sleep, and I have evil period pain. Is this what getting old feels like? I'm thirty next week, surely I shouldn't be falling apart yet?

Well until 150 years ago we had slavery but that doesn't make it a legitimate way of treating another human being. Yes we do live in a time of great change but frankly what came before was crazy.

I'm struggling to cope. Worse, Shattered, I need tips. Things around the house are piling up faster than I can tackle them, another person at work has left and I've been shuffled into her job, I've spent the last 36 hours battling some mystery gastro thing and I forgot to tell the new hv not to come so I get that joy at 9. I'm constantly canceling social commitments because it's the easiest thing to give up on, but I feel shitty about that.
Sorry for the me me me post. I'm just surprised at how badly I'm coping at the moment.

Plonky it is tough second time round as you don't get the downtime to relax that you have with your first. My tips are: let stuff slide, it doesn't matter; off-load chores on DH (I'd bet any money you do most of the housework and cooking), buy ready meals... a few won't kill you all and will save you time; accept help from anyone and everyone; don't take on more than you can manage at work - say no; if you are ill, go to bed, don't be a hero; as for social functions forget them for now, or invite people round to yours and ask them to bring the cake.

I struggled to accept that I felt exhausted and ill for most of my second pregnancy and couldn't do everything I had with my first.

Stormy old, at thirty???? Nope. It gets so much worse.... 42 here

Yes Worse I think you're right. DH has really stepped up at home and is taking the initiative more. I do 100% of the cooking and am a "from scratch" snob. Will remedy this immediately.

Can DH get up early with DS plonk? Or is he lying in a bit later these days? DH told me yesterday I haven't cooked for us for weeks - which is true . I cook for DS or make scrambled eggs etc. It's really tiring . Yes to getting DH on board . And naps if you can!!
worse the royal name is nice but nothing like our choices . Lucky escape!!
Poor DH has been up half the night with DS. Don't know why- he gets so Angry. It's almost like the tantrums are spilling over into some nights. I feel like ok not managing then well- he's normally a happy boy and is inbetween but we just have such frequent Rages. It's horrible.
Hope you perk up soon plonk and the HV is ok. Why is she coming out? We have no contact from ours and I'm not complaining!!

shattered DD sometimes gets the rage in the night when she wakes up because she coughed or something else stirred her but is still really sleepy and doesn't actually want to be awake. It doesn't happen often but when it does its really difficult to settle her and even the magic sling and mummy milk don't always work. I put it down to being a bit disorientated and we actually try and wake her up a bit properly and distract her with a book or something and then resettle her once she is calm.

I was reading a thread yesterday about childhood in the olden days aka the seventies and eighties. The big differences between then and now seemed to be the smacking and the freedom to roam. It's mad to think of how far we used to roam at such a young age. Fartypants certainly won't have the freedom I did. Again, I wonder what drove the change.

Shattered DS got up at 6 this morning. Not a problem as I'd been lying awake since 5.45. I'm a lark and DH is a night owl so I'm happy to get up early with DS most days. I guess if I buy more ready meals/easily assembled food DH can help more with that.

We don't have middle of the night wakes anymore so I'm at a loss with what could be going on with your DS, except maybe it's teeth? I think the rage must be so horrible for them, they get easily confused and frustrated when tired but can't explain how they feel. He'll grow out of it, hopefully it's a brief phase.

HV was just doing the latest check, and they do routine home visits to new families in the area only been here 6 months. She was actually nice, unlike the last, and DS is doing grand.

Stormy I feel sad that DS won't have the same freedom to roam that we had. We used to get up to all sorts on half built housing estates and running around in the woods. All sorts of reasons why I wouldn't let him do that round here, but if we were rural I definitely would.

shattered the dress itself isn't warm, but I'm going to find a white faux fur cape for chilly times. With regards to night rages, DP was talking to somebody who said she was up in the night with her 4 and 6 year olds; one was thirsty and one had an itch. It made me realise, they can wake up for any reason, even an itch, and because they can't communicate it so well, it must get ever so frustrating!

Yy that's true something!! Maybe he's itchy hasn't thought if that. Thanks rainbow, we often do the resettling too as you're right I think they get a bit disorientated. And yy to teeth plonk. Bless him. He's been lovely again this eve so fx crossed it's just another phase!! We are lucky, he sleeps through about 90% of the time so am sure there is a reason when he does get off.
plonk if home cooked good is v important you could do a bit of batch cooking for the freezer? Only when DH is around to take DS, maybe. And you have the energy. Seriously don't feel guilty, being pregnant is hard work, being pregnant with a toddler is a lot harder!! Just get help where you can, a cleaner maybe? Hope you start to feel better soon.
I've had a productive day today, feeling pleased with myself . Suspect I'll be having fewer of those soon!!
yummy how's the bed going? I am sure the only reason we haven't had climbing is because he's in sleeping bags. DH thinks he's getting annoyed with them so as soon as we have to make the transition to a duvet we will have to take the cot side off. Not in any rush for that as expect he will love the freedom !!
Happy weds all. wotta how are you these days?

Hi everyone.

Ready for the election tomorrow? I think we will be starting a new tradition of me dh and ds going to vote. Ds won't have a clue what we will be doing but I want him to grow up to know how important democracy is.

The bed is going really well much better than we expected. I think him having this bit of power of him climbing into his bed has helped a bit with the bedtime battles. Last night we put him to bed he got out of bed saw me and dh in the living room and he went back to his bed and slept.

rainbow we do the resettling too. Nights when he is turning in bed not being able to settle we sit up have a cuddle or read a book then he settles so much better.

plonky I have no advice on coping but just wanted you to know I sympathise. Let dh do it all and relax as much as you can.

something I had a winter wedding too. I bought a white fur shawl for nothing. I was too excited to feel the cold. You will be enjoying yourself too much to think about the cold.

stormy I feel old too but only when I am tired. I used to think 30 was really old until I hit 29. Ds will definitely not have the freedom but I never had that freedom too living in London with very overprotective parents. I do feel sad that he won't have cousins his age whilst growing up and close contact with extended family like I did.

shattered I forgot to say he could've had a nightmare. I think they can have them at this age. Just a suggestion.

Yummy I've already voted - a postal vote as I've never bothered to de-register when I no longer needed this. We are lucky to live in country where we have the freedom to vote without reprisal so it really gets my goat when people don't through either apathy or a misguided protest, or intentionally spoil their ballot papers.

Shattered night wakings here are usually one of two things: room is too hot or too cold; or nightmares. The nightmares are easy to spot as instead of gradually whittering rising to a crescendo she wakes with a piercing scream that scares the living daylights out of me! I settle her by stroking her back and holding her hand until she goes to sleep.

As for freedom my sister and I used to pack some lunch and disappear across the fields for the whole day, aged about 8 and 10. When I was 13 I used to get a train down to Devon with a couple of friends and cycle round the coastline staying in youth hostels. This was before mobile phones so my parents were lucky to hear from us once a week. I think it is fair to say Worselet and Babax will not be doing the same

Speaking of Babax, last night he slept from 7pm to 5am !!!! I was amazed. To be fair he'd had a bit of a wakey day so was exhausted, but whatever the reason I was grateful. Unfortunately the Toddle woke at 2.30am. Just to keep us on our toes like

Less wheezy today. Yay!

Hi all. Sorry for radio silence. I've been passing through. Still feel a bit overwhelmed and don't want to be miserable at you all. But you might giggle about docs comments in my blood tests: they're all normal, well you're a but anaemic but that's normal because you're a woman and you bleed every month. Me: I've had 3 periods in the last 18 years, they are heavy but is that really likely?! Dr: oh. Apparently it's normal for me though as it matches a test from 3 years ago.

More car trouble has meant we've jacked in the 4x4 (or will do when it's fixed) and have bought a micro mini instead. Arrives Friday so hope that will solve one set of stresses.

Work still manic. Project finishes end of this month so hope will get done on time and get some respite but nervous it won't quite work like that. Was in on Sunday this weekend for a couple of hours. But have Friday off as dh is hobbying this weekend so I am solo.

Given the last time ds woke crying in the night I fainted and dropped him in not a good person to ask about that! Hope others were more helpful.

Hang in there shattered, nearly there. But enjoy this final productive time .

Plonk, I know mn always says get a cleaner. And for years i'd have said yeah right. But seriously, it will cost a tenner an hour and you prob only need 2-3. How much can you get done in that time and is it worth £20? Best thing I ever did for me and for dh and I. Really helps me not feel resentful. (He does loads but still).

Worse, I trust you are looking after yourself. Feel better ok? And stormy love, glad you're faring ok. Chin up petal.

I'm being crap and forgetting stuff now, so will wind up. Just really enjoying ds at the mo who is hilarious and cuddly and chatty and so much fun. I am loving this bit.

Sorry to hear you'll feeling less than fantastic Wotta. Shame you've had to ditch the 4x4 but the micro minis are still very bloody practical. My car is the family joke but it's a good runner and you can't argue when new tyres cost only £40.
So do you just live with being "slightly anaemic"? Fair enough I got C's in science but that sounds like a raw deal.
I don't think I can justify a cleaner. We're trying to save like crazy atm. Between the new car and my going on maternity leave we can't justify greater outgoings but it's something I will suggest after the baby has arrived.

Something I think a furry cape-let or shrug will look beautiful. Especially with the red theme. I can't wait for your wedding, the sneak peeks I've seen so far have me all excited!

Worse the nightmares sound horrid. But Yay for Babax's sleep! That's the kind of stretch we're managing now!

I'm still conflicted over who to vote for I don't know whether to go with my principals or vote tactically, as I live in a marginal seat. I'd best make my mind up or it'll be eeny meeny miny mo in the booth later.

Oh but I did work out that if I stop working at 38 weeks that's only 75 working days to go! So is better stop complaining about lack of cope and carry orn.

Plonky for what it's worth I voted tactically. I imagine a lot of people will be.

Wotta sorry you're having such a tough time. A bit anaemic huh . Your gp sounds about as rubbish as mine. Do you take otc iron tablets or something? If not, might help. I know nothing about anaemia though so have no idea really.

Cleaners are ace, but I'm going to have to find a new one as the really really off the scale expensive company I am using at the moment is too expensive, and they aren't as good any more. All cleaners seem to be like that. Brilliant for the first while, and then they get gradually more rubbish. This week it wasn't entirely obvious which rooms they had cleaned and which they hadn't.

DH is working today so I am home alone with both. I am scared!!!

Glad you're feeling slightly better worse. How much longer on the antibiotics? Did you survive your solo day? Hope all went well and much sleep is had tonight.
plonk did you decide who to vote for? I went tactically too.
wotta it's not normal to be anaemic!! Especially if you don't have periods. Did your doc tell you your numbers? You could try something like spatone from the chemist if you're feeling low. It might help . Sorry you're still not feeling 100%. Is there light at the end of the tunnel?
something your dress sounds lovely. I do love a good wedding.
Off to bed. Still enjoying the pregnancy insomnia but hoping I'll get some sleep tonight!!

I think she said 11.8 and normal would be 12?

Not liking some of these exit polls!!!