September 2014 - Into the new year!

[RedToothBrush]

Shiny New Thread for a Shiny New Year.

I go to a mum/baby thing that leads into messy play for toddlers in about 4 weeks....

Ds has been to my work loads infact we were there 10-4.00 yesterday :)

I'm still trying to get ds in bed for naps I am losing this battle.

Apple I have not but I regret that now, as only a couple of weeks ago he would smile to anybody smiling and would happily let people have cuddles but he has developed stranger anxiety since...

Some of you may remember I talked about ds being sensitive; well he is growing out of most of them, no fear of plastic; no crying in the beginning of sensory, etc.

Holls, what do you teach?

(back when I used to have a proper job, I was a chemistry teacher)

Jay - totally understandable how you feel about your lo's birthmark, I'm sure I'd feel the same. I think the idea of embarrassing people a bit who may stare is a good idea as you keep control of all situations then. My hubby was born with a facial deformity (cleft lip & palette) so there are more invasive problems which would arguably be worse but anything to do with the face is a sensitive subject of course and just as upsetting. I'm sure it'll all turn out just fine though

Often when babies get more easily grouchy it can be a sign they're going through a developmental leap so that could be your answer possibly! Have you got the Wonder Weeks app? Jessica has been following what it says to the letter!

Can't remember who it was who asked about baby groups but I go to a few.... baby rhyme time, a local playgroup at a school (although it's at 9am! so I don't always make it) and I take Jessica to swimming lessons. Made a couple of new mummy friends from them who I meet with now outside of groups so it's worth going to them if you can.

Just out if curiosity and because I had Jessica 3 weeks early - how old is your baby now and how much do they weigh?

Jessica is 24 weeks and weighs around 15lb 7oz (possibly a bit more now as I got her weighed last week).

They're all different obviously but I know a baby who's nearly 8 months at one of my groups and she only weighs about 1 lb more than Jessica!

I took DS in a few times before christmas. I'm good friends with a few people I work with, and see them outside of work anyway, so thats the main reason I went in.

Good to hear your son is growing out of the fears Nazly.

My DS favourite play thing at the moment is a £2.00 survival blanket. Can spend a good 30 minutes rolling on the floor with that on him!

I haven't taken DD in to work although it would be nice to see people, but people would ask when I'm coming back and at the moment I don't plan to...

I don't go to any groups either but really need to start. Beginning to feel quite stir crazy and isolated now but get so anxious about these sorts of things. It's funny really, I don't worry all that much in general with DD but the thought of taking her to get weighed tomorrow is something I'm really having to psyche myself up about. My worries begin when I have to leave the house with DD! Need some sense talking into me!

What do you worry about lilone?

We LOVE baby groups! Dd is much happier if we get out a few times a day so we try and do a group per day - baby massage, yoga, sensory type stuff or just a cuppa and a chat type groups - a dog walk per day and a job - e.g. Tesco - per day. Dd gets way more out of going to groups than I thought she would, and is so interested in everything. They also keep me feeling sane

Thanks topmammy, I've felt more reassured since mentioning it on here. It's true - anything to do with the face is a sensitive issue.

I am going to get the wonder weeks app ! I need a new focus other than bloody hemangioma's !!

Thanks again to everyone for their reassuring words. My inner conscience has been screaming "shallow bitch" at me for weeks - but i actually feel quite normal now.

lilone just seen your comment about worrying about getting out of the house. I was terrified at first and wouldn't even go to a shop with dd on my own, so can really sympathise What is it you worry about in particular?

Lol Jay you're not a shallow bitch, just aware that we live in a society that (rightly or wrongly) puts a LOT of onus on physical appearance.

We try to get out every day too. Baby massage on a Monday, Tuesday I see my mum, Wednesday mummy fit class, Thursday mums & toddlers & Friday is normally a shopping / jobs day & we normally have an nct meet up once a week too. Try & go for a walk round the village most days too if we can. I'm not good at staying in the house for too long, sends me a bit mad.

Baby groups can seem a bit clicky when you first go but people soon open up & make you feel welcome. If you're a bit anxious about doing it maybe try baby massage first as you are primarily doing an activity with your baby & can then talk to people in addition to this.

Top DS was 4 months yesterday & weighed 17lb2oz when I got him weighed on Friday. He did start off at 9lb9oz tho & is on the 75th centile for height.

Jay it's not shallow at all. As parents we want our children to blend in & be accepted & unfortunately as we all know anything out of the norm whether it's a birthmark, glasses, being tall or small can make it that bit harder. You just want to protect your child from the looks & comments that people make when something is a bit different & there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. As someone who has gone through life with significant scarring on my chest, arms & chin I know only too well how some people can be but I also came to realise it was through ignorance rather than any malice & whenever I see someone looking at my scars I tell them what they are & they then aren't so interested if that makes sense.

My DS has what is called a stork mark, it's look like a scratch on the bridge of his nose & a red rash like patch on the back of his neck. Thought it was just that until the HV told me it was a birthmark. Its the marks from where the stork carried the baby in its mouth apparently!

Fate - music teacher.

top - I too have the wonder weeks app and it is so right. grouchier/sleepier days are bang where they should be. v interesting.
groups yes. we do a chatter group on a monday and swimming on a Wednesday. we were doing music but to be honest I got v frustrated and b didn't seem to get a huge amount out of it; I may start it up again soon now he is older and more alert.
weds is swimming and then thurs and fri are our days to see people.
we also walk into town each day. I enjoy raiding charity shops for books, we go to buy stuff for supper etc etc. normally try to do this just after his 10am feed so he has a nap in his pram!

one day I will remember everything I want to say and get it all in one post! a bit tmi but I seem to have a v red and sore tummy button. don't want to go to docs - can I just see a pharmacist?
also anyone who had a section - I still have no feeling in the area they sliced. normal?

I think it's just the crippling shyness I have battled with since childhood, so I find new places, situations and people very daunting. I've always been a very nervous person. I don't think it helps that I live nowhere near any friends or family or have anywhere familiar to go. Where I live in East London used to be fine for my commute to work in Canary Wharf (seems like a lifetime ago) but that's about it. There is a children's centre nearby though. We are hoping to move nearer to where I grew up later in the year though, hopefully that will help a bit. Still, I need to meet some new people with babies.

Logically I know it will be fine and because my work was so uber social I'm not bad at talking to people really, it's just pushing myself to do it because I'm out of practice. I know if it is awful I can leave.

In other news, I put Molly down to sleep awake tonight rather than cuddling to sleep. She is asleep now but we will have to see whether she stays asleep or thinks it's just nap time!

I greatly admire all of you doing all these groups. Very brave! I wasn't too bothered before and was happy spending time at home but it's only recently I feel like I'm doing nothing productive and offering no experiences to Molly. I only walk round the block everyday with her and the dog but the dog will only walk the same walk round the block and freaks out if I try and do something different. And wrestling dog and pram is not easy. I feel bad to leave the dog and just go on a walk with Molly but I will have to to go somewhere else, anywhere else!! (Losing it a bit today as you can tell)

Holls - my c section area is still tender rather than numb but it's taken an age to heal since it got infected, it's still not right really. Dodgy section if you ask me!

topsy Aww my son also had stork bites by his eyebrows when he was born but they disappeared within a couple of weeks. I had never heard of them before.

topmammy J was 14lb 11oz when weighed on Thursday. He is 18 weeks old today. He was 8lb 11 oz at birth but has slowly slipped down to below 50th centile over the weeks. He is only 25th centile for height though, so the weight drop is quite normal.

Lilone, you sound very much like me!
I only started taking Z to a sensory class at the start of this month. We hadn't done any proper baby activities before that, though I'd spent ages procrastinating and looking up classes we could go to and never actually going to any. In contrast a friend of mine has been taking her little boy to two to three classes a week from when he was a few weeks old. Made me feel like a crap mum!!
Im not very good with new situations and meeting new people but once I get to know people you have to shut me up! I just get reLly anxious and feel myself blushing and then think everyone's staring @ me ( have done since I started at secondary school and being the only girl from my primary school there and starting from scratch with friends )
Luckily the class I go to there are a few lovely mums (plan on taking the babies swimming with one of them!) and if I see a mum who looks like how I feel I make sure I say hello too. It's also lovely to see Z enjoying herself and seeing other babies too.
Start with one class, see how you get on and perhaps build it up from there.?

I work 9-5 Nazly so 8 hours a day plus 1hr return travel. DH picks her up at 3 when he gets home though so she's home before I am. The worst days will be the ones where I have to go to the stables after work as while I'm keen to see my horse I then don't get home till 8ish so will only get to see Ems for a little while then put her to bed. Fortunately it's only two days during the working week as the girl who rode her once I stopped as I got to big is staying on and doing the other days.

My work is also manic so no time to miss her which is good, as she's with family they send me picture messages throughout the day so I know what she's up to.

ella I think witty responses will be the way forward .
Honestly ladies, I feel so much better - I think that being able to be honest on here has been quite healing in itself. I have been looking at the birthmark and thinking how small it looks for the amount of fuss I am making - but at least if/when it gets bigger, I feel I can come on here and express my true thoughts.

Re: Baby groups....I haven't been to any yet. With my twins, I went to one every day of the week but I haven't fancied taking J yet. He really does need to meet other babies as all of my friends have older children so he's not got any baby/toddler friends. I must have got more timid with age, as when I was younger I had no problem taking the twins to places on my own and chatting to strangers - now I feel like I need to psyche myself up.

Morning all!

Last night was a bit more successful. Thanks fate! The blanket tucking in seems to have helped. I decided to leave her in there when giving her the bottle which seemed to work. She still needed settling every 45 minutes or so, but at least I get to nap in between. She was up at 5.45 and by 6.30 was screaming with over tiredness. This whole sleep thing is so stressful

I take DD to a music class once a week, but that's all. I found it terrifying the first time, but I'm starting to find it easier.

DD and I visit work once or twice a week and have done since she was two weeks old. Work is near to home and I work with my best friend, so we go in mainly to see her. However, where I work is quite relaxed and the people are really nice. DD always gets lots of attention when we go in.

Last time DD was weighed she was 18 weeks and 11lb 9oz. So she is tiny, but we've had issues with weight gain before discovering her cows milk protein allergy.

Funny story about birthmarks, my brother recently got his haircut and they took it far shorter than he has ever had before. After, he was inspecting his new do and noticed a red mark on the back of his head. He started complaining that they must have damaged his head when Mum said "no, that's your birthmark". He never realised he had one, and I think he was quite pleased to have one. We never thought to tell him about it, but I guess he's never had hair short enough to notice before, so how would he know what is on the back of his head?!

Jay - glad you're feeling a little better. I think having a few responses to the stares prepared is a good idea. I did that when DD was in the harness for her hip dysplasia (it held her legs out at an awkward angle, so she looked quite strange for those few weeks). I never got to use them though.

I had a CS, and I've been really lucky with how my scar is healing. I have feeling back and it is already a thin red line that is fading. I'm really pleased as they did it quite high up, so it shows above my underwear. I go through phases of diligently using bio oil every day, but then forget for a couple of weeks.

Team How funny that your brother never knew about his birthmark until he had a hair cut .

For those that have had c-sections, I had mine 12 years ago so can't remember too much about the healing - the only thing I remember is that for about a year after, if I sneezed or coughed I felt like my scar would rip open. Scar wise, you can't even see mine now - it literally looks like a silver hair. My partner didn't believe I had had a csection in the past because he had never noticed the scar !