September 2014 - Into the new year!

[RedToothBrush]

Shiny New Thread for a Shiny New Year.

cookie Thanks...you have made me feel more normal for feeling how I do.
I did join an online birthmark support group, and the people on there are lovely, knowledgable and supportive but I haven't been able to express how I truly feel, as some of the people have far worse birthmarks to deal with and are just so upbeat. They put me to shame and I wish i could catch some of their positivity .

Anyway on another note...J is really grumpy (as well as not sleeping). He just seems really frustrated and keeps growling at everything. After Xmas, he suddenly seemed more interested with the world and that was a lovely little phase where i could sit and show him toys and he would be fascinated. Now he just gets angry after 2 minutes. Is anybody else experiencing this ?

Jay, I think it is totally understandable to feel the way you do. Googling also tends to exacerbate rather than alleviate worries. If it helps at all, I know of two children who had quite large and raised strawberry marks, but you would have no clue they ever had them now. We all dream of our perfect little babies, and that makes it really tough when they have anything going on with them at all. It feels just devastating. And just because other people have worse experiences doesn't mean that yours is any less difficult. X

Sorry, this is going to sound dreadful, but I feel slightly better knowing that others are also having sleepless nights. Misery loves company

Team I was going to write cookies' last post! Word by word!

I think if he wasn't on tummy he would have woken every 20min but right now he wakes up to 3 times , normally 2 times. I have to admit even this is getting really difficult , could not deal with more interruption.

Stranger anxiety has started here I don't like it.

Misog you are here and posting but not about going back to work? How could you!! How was it? How did it feel?

Jay - I was born with a strawberry mark on my back. Back then they operated to remove them (I know they don't now). The operation scar goes shoulder to shoulder across my back so it must have been big. Such a major operation when I was just a baby, leaving them alone is much better.

My cousins daughter had one on her head/scalp. She didn't have much hair well into toddler years so it was very obvious - deep red and bulbous, like a large blood blister.

I know my cousin had issues with how it made her daughter cosmetically look, but she dealt with this by being very upfront about it. She's notice someone looking at it and without being asked would say 'it's a birthmark and will go on it's own in time' Isn't she gorgeous? ' (or similar). The idea, quite frankly, was to embarrass people for staring at her.

Jay - your first step here really is to admit how upset you are about it. It is on your sons face and so it is understandable that you would be upset, this does not make you vain or anything.

It will go. My cousins daughters went when she was about 4 or 5. Until then you will get used to it and it won't always distress you.

Your son is beautiful.

If I swaddle her she goes ballistic, if I leave her to it in her Moses basket she wakes herself up. Any other ideas?!

Team - What about a tightly tucking in sheet or blanket?

I use a sheet over the top of DD's sleeping bag, otherwise she does lots of leg raising, kicking and shuffling. If you use a cot blanket across-ways on the cot, there will be lots of extra material to tuck in really tightly.

Nazly - sorry, it was ok, I missed Em loads but I had lots to do so the time went quick. The strangest bit was putting on a dress and heels after 4 months living in yoga pants. My MIL sent me several pictures during the day and it looked like she had lots of fun. So a all in all it was ok, but I am used to leaving her with DH so I can go and look after my horse and have done that since she was 6days oldand my sister in law has always taken her out for a few hours since she was 6 weeks old or so so it wasn't as odd for me as for someone who has never left their baby.

Hello ladies.

Also another long night here - at least I know I'm not alone. Wondering if I may be nearing the time that she is no longer really satisfied by breastmilk and maybe I'll have to move onto formula if I want to avoid weaning for a bit.

On a separate issue, I need some advice on getting Jessica in her cot for day naps. As you probably saw yesterday Jessica likes to have her naps on me, or at the very least in her swinging chair. However where she is tall for her age she's getting too tall for me to have her on my lap (plus I always end up needing a wee, and usually there's about a million things I could be doing whilst she naps) and she's going to outgrow her swinging chair soon too. Therefore I want to start getting her to nap in her cot. However normally she falls asleep on me after a feed and if I move her I wake her up. I tried this morning to put her in her cot after she fell asleep on me and it was a complete failure. Any advice? Do I just need to persist with it? I put ewan the sheep on when I put her down (like I do at night) hoping she'd 'get the idea' but to no avail.....

Fate, I'll try that tonight, but I have a really stupid question... I'm guessing I tuck the blanket under the mattress on one side, put DD down and then tuck in the other side, but... To make it tight surely you need to lift the mattress a bit, so how do you do that without waking the baby? If I nudge her at all when I put her down she wakes!

KitKat - Could you try to mimic what you do when putting DD in the cot at night? (assuming she goes down to sleep OK in the evening?)

If I put DD down in the upstairs cot for a daytime sleep, I tend to take the laptop up and I sit/lie on my bed on the computer until she's dropped to sleep. She self settles easily though so is easy to put down to sleep, I know other babies aren't.

Team - that's exactly what I do

Before baby is put in cot, lift mattress and tuck blanket in at one side and bottom of cot (feet to foot advise), leaving one side untucked in and folded back. Put baby down then I just shove my hands under the mattress to tuck in the final side. It helps that I have one side off my cot, so there is no side barrier where I am tucking in.

My DD is never asleep when I put her down though. It may be more difficult if you are worried about waking a sleeping baby.

I struggle getting b to sleep in his cot during the day. at the mo he is asleep on me. I love the snuggles but I would also love some lunch

Jay dd has several strawberry marks on her face and neck and I feel the same as you. Obviously I think she's beautiful but notice people looking at the marks and have to say something lighthearted because they never ask, which I think is more awkward! I almost wish they'd ask. The GP told us the marks will almost certainly go by the time she's 9 - wasn't very reassuring! Currently consoling myself with the thought that she'll blossom into a swan at the right point rather than struggling and growing up too quickly as an attractive child can. Does that sound awful??

Also struggling with sleep here. Have given in and am letting dd sleep in bed next to me from about 3/4am as that's how she seems to sleep best atm. Have banished DH to the nursery in the hope he'll be able to get some sleep

KitKat - I do as FATE suggested when I put A down for an afternoon nap, treat it the same as I do putting him to bed at night, lights off and his mobile on. We have black out curtains so that helps loads. Having said that, he has napped on me today while I sat and watched Judge Rinder!

I am due to go back to work on 1st June, but have a few weeks holidays to take so it will be towards the end of June when I actually go back. Am hoping to work 4 days a week, but I still need to investigate nurserys!

Thanks team and fate. You are all such a good support...i kind of knew I should have mentioned it on here sooner !

apples - Sorry, missed your post. Thanks for sharing that with me . Yes the doctor told me they could go by 5, probably would go by 7 and definitely would be gone by 9 ! Which I also didnt feel reassured about.
I've not had any stares yet because I think strangers would mistake it as a spot...its still pretty small and flattish at the moment. However...people I know have annoyed me - not on purpose - but I just don't like any comment about it. My mum pretends you can't even see it and didn't notice it until I pointed it out - which is rubbish as it is very visible and she sees us three times a week ! Mother in law has said "awww his little face heart is getting bigger" the last two times I've seen her - and i don't like it being pointed out. And my best friend, who had a facial skin tag removed as a teenager and was bullied as a child over it, keeps telling me i should demand treatment and am not doing enough - which makes me feel like a crap parent ! So in a nutshell, nobody can win.
Ah well at least I am not alone....

DS has all of his naps in his cot if we're at home. Once he starts rubbing his eyes we go upstairs to the nursery, nappy change & then into his grobag. I put his mobile & Ewan on & leave him to it. On a good day he'll fall asleep in minutes without a dummy. On a bad day it might take 20 minutes with lots of dummy reinsertion but he will eventually fall asleep. I found that staying in the room actually stopped him falling asleep as he'd be trying to look at me.

Still no rolling here but getting very good at sitting & lots of leg movements when he's on his tummy like he's trying to crawl.

Apple I co sleep from 5-6ish till 7-8ish most days; although I love the snuggles I prefer not to if possible as I value good sleep so much these days, and with him by my side I don't sleep deeply; but sometimes it is the only way I can actually get some sleep those couple of hours. Last night put him back in his cot after a 4:30am ish feed but he woke and didn't settle with shhh, back rubbing, tapping, dummy and I persevered for half an hour before giving in... As soon as he hit our bed (fed again) he fell asleep till 8!!

Misog good to hear it was OK. How many hours is your working day? I have not left him for more than 3-4 hours and only twice I left him for that long... And a few other times for less than two hours. And each time I missed him so much ....Good job I won't get a chance to breath when I go back to work let alone think about ds.

topsy - hadn't thought about thr grobag thing. do you leave day time clothes on or change?

Holls I leave him in his day time clothes but will take a layer off depending on the temperature in the nursery. I leave the curtains open & use a different mobile to the one we use at night which is a light projector. That way he's knows he's going for a nap & it's not bedtime. Thought him being able to sleep when it's light would help as it stays lighter longer.

Fab thanks. I use different mobile etc. gro bag a genius idea.

Nazly your early mornings sound very familiar! I just wish dd would go back to sleeping through... LOVELY dh got up with her at 8 this morning and let me sleep in until 10:30 - bliss!!

On the subject of work, have you all taken babies in to work to meet your colleagues? I love everyone I work with and they all want to meet dd but for some reason I feel really reluctant to take her in. Think part of it is that it's a 45-minute drive and part of it is that it would be weird to be in my 'mum' role in the office... Maybe I'll feel more like it when summer comes round!

I think some of my work colleagues would love to meet Jessica, but it's not really appropriate for where I work, and besides, children aren't actually allowed there (it's a psychiatric ward).

I took DD to a baby and toddler group this morning. It was one I used to go to every week for 8 years or so, only finished 2 years ago when DC3 started nursery. It was so lovely - nothing has changed. Lots of people I knew, same routines, same songs.... so... so familiar, like an old pair of slippers.

DD slept through all but the last 10 minutes mind you. But this just gave me lots of time to catch up and drink tea

Is anyone going to any Baby & Toddler groups yet?

I have been into work quite a bit...love the kids I teach and they love seeing the boy, plus he gets lots of cuddles from the staff! (also v fond of them!!)