October 2014 // thread 5 // baby's first Christmas

[JeannePoole]

Welcome back!

(Dear greetings cards manufacturers: 'Baby's First Christmas' does NOT necessarily have to include Baby being liberally sprinkled with glitter from your shoddily-made merchandise.

Except that, as I'm rapidly discovering, it does.

[wondermoose13]

Dh took baby moose for a walk round b&q this morning because it was raining and id had such a bad nights sleep so he has slightly redeemed himself...
he did however come home and ask why the bottle of water (i keep in the changing bag for me when out and about) was empty.... because there isnt a magic water fairy that fills it up before you leave the house? Lol he genuinely seemed confused... men blatently get baby brain worse than we do!

[ExcitedCJ]

fatpony you name it, I've tried it! He is OK with dummy, although as you say spits them out and then wakes up, it kinda prolongs the agony a little.
Munday I feel your pain. Hope normal service has resumed in your household. DS slept for a little longer today due to the fact that he was in a car seat & was wheeled while being wobbled around the town. I am sitting in the dark feeding him now in an attempt to get him to bed before 10pm. Wish me luck!!

[splendide]

Hey everyone. I've decided I think I've got PND. Have been waiting for the baby blues to lift but it's getting worse. Have felt suicidal at various points over the last 24 hours. Not sure what to do now. I've been referred for telephone counselling for anxiety but I'm now not sure it's enough.

[tattyblue]

splendide go to a&e. If you've felt suicidal, or even think you might have done, then you need to see someone as soon as possible. It's absolutely treatable, but the sooner you start the better. Please don't second guess yourself- just go to the hospital straight away and then take things from there.

[tattyblue]

P.S. I would have thought the most likely outcome would be a referral to your local community mental health crisis team, so also don't worry that you're going to get stuck in hospital. Crisis teams are usually good, and they'll be able to help make a start with you getting the help you need.

[YellowWellies]

Splendide I agree with Tatty head to A&E. It's eminently treatable and you deserve to feel better as soon as possible but that requires help. Good luck sweetheart.

[hefner]

Spendide as tatty said, if you let someone know how you're feeling they can refer you to the mental health crisis team to assess what help you need. Get yourself seen quickly so you can start feeling better soon - A&E would be the quickest way to get assessed. Can you get yourself there? Getting the PND under control will make it so much easier to cope. Good luck.

[JeannePoole]

splendide recognising and acknowledging it is such a big part of the battle. Get help and support as soon as you can, please. We're all here for you if you need us.

[Kirstipops]

Splendide just echoing what the other ladies are saying, go to A&E and they will see you right, you can't be putting up with feeling like that, pet. Well done for realising it, getting urgent help will be the next best step for you. My sister had PND and once she started on meds she said she felt like a cloud had lifted. We're all here for you x

[Pregnantagain7]

Straight to a and e splendide no experience of it but a friendly ear if you need it

[FATEdestiny]

splendide

I was just reading your other thread

Go to your nearest 24 hour supermarket now.

Buy some formula, make up six bottles. DH can give them all to your DS.

Give yourself a day off tomorrow.

You can always go back to breastfeeding on Tuesday if you need to or want to. One day will not affect anything long term. Reassess tomorrow evening.

[Captainmcgraw]

Splendide I agree with Fate you need to get some help and some sleep and that means someone else looking after the baby. Breastfeeding has benefits but the biggest benefit of all to your baby is your positive mental health. I completely understand your fears about formula and that it might make things worse but do you know what, chances are it won't and what it will actually give you is a way to look towards the future. So many people here are behind you. You are going to get through this.

[STIGZ]

splendid you have identified pnd which means you can get it sorted, just talk to your gp/hv asap! How do you feel about giving baby formula like some people have suggested? Worth a try tonight atleast ? See if you can get a couple of hours kip? Do you have a dp/dh or supportive family that could take the baby and give you a break tomorrow? Everyone needs a break at some point, and you especially need a break! Your not a machine, your a human being and you need sleep to function. We are all here for you

[Sorehead]

splendide- good advice from FATE about making up bottles, and from others about going to A&E. I've not no other advice but I really hope you get some help so you're feeling better soon.

Sorry to hear people are having problems with their partners. I was about to write a post today saying how lucky I felt that mine was pulling his weight and putting up with me being tired and grumpy (can I still blame hormones after 9 weeks?!) but now I'm really pissed off with him. He went for a couple of drinks this afternoon and came home at about 8:15, ate the food I'd made for him then went to bed. I came upstairs to leave him a drink and paracetamol and he was starfished across the bed practically passed out. I fed DS downstairs then put him in his crib asleep. 'D'H half woke up and started rocking the crib unnecessarily so I asked him to stop. He then stood up and nearly knocked it off the books we have under one end to tilt it (not an easy task as it's a very sturdy pile) He got back into bed after I'd fixed his mess and was rocking the crib with his foot again (he sleeps on that side because the crib doesn't fit down my side and we couldnt be bothered changing). When I asked him not to, he'd clearly forgotten my request two mins earlier and was really rude. I now don't want to go to sleep in case he gets up and tries to pick DS up or something daft. I'm pretty sure once he's in a deep sleep nothing will wake him up though. I'm just so angry because he can't just go for one or two drinks so he's ok to help with night feeds- it's either all or nothing

Sorry for the long moaning post!

[Sorehead]

And he's breathing so loudly I want to smother him with a pillow kick him out into the spare bedroom

[Sorehead]

('D'H not DS)

[Sorehead]

And of course tonight is the night I find out that the 5 hour stretches between bed and the next feed that I've had the past two nights were a fluke. Sorry for the multiple posts in a row- I just need to vent my frustration.

It's as if my baby has been sent to completely break me and knows that it's a bad night. I hope know it's not the case but his timing is always impeccable! I feel like crying

[tattyblue]

sorehead solidarity. The ratbag baby here has decided to go back to the hourly waking. No fun.

[wondermoose13]

sorehead i swear the little ones know when its a bad night and wont sleep! Dh is currently snoring away so ive no chance of sleeping and im convinced he'll wake ds so im lead here staring at the ceiling!

splendide im so sorry your having such a crappy time, we're always here id you need a rant/talk but i agree with everyone else re bottle feeds and a&e. I cant imagine how hard it would be to go and say the words out loud to someone but maybe a&e woukd be slightly easier than your gp as its someone you dont know/unlikely to see again? Maybe write it down incase you get there and just cant bring yourself to say it. Either way i think you are incredibly brave and strong and have coped very well so far, and talking about your feelings on here is a very positive step.

[wondermoose13]

Oh and ds has started coughing in his sleep, like hes choking on something! So im pretty much sat here watching him breathe :s

[fedupofrainydays]

splendide sory to hear you are suffering with PND but also glad you have acknowledge it and are looking for support. There's some good advice here and on your other Thread so I hope you can get a break soon and also talk to some professionals ASAP. Take care of yourself

I am still putting DH in the spare room for that reason... I can't cooe with his snoring when I'm sleep deprived any way! On Friday he went out mega drinking and I could hear his snoring from up the stairs!!!

[splendide]

Hey all. Thanks again for your supportive messages, I'm afraid o couldn't bring myself to go to a&e but I'm hanging in here. DS slept 12-4 so had a wee break although annoyingly not a sleep really.

[Sorehead]

tatty- it's as if they want to tease us with a glimpse of how good things could be, then cruelly snatch it away. Hopefully it won't last long or I'm going to run away and hide until DS is 18

moose- did you manage to get some sleep after your last post? Has babymoose stopped coughing now? If I were you I'd kick your DH to stop him snoring; it's very satisfying

fedup- that's impressive snoring if you could hear it downstairs Think I'd be tempted to another my DH with a pillow if he was that loud (I'm not evil I promise, just hate snoring and I'm in a really bad mood!)

splendide- make sure you look after yourself, ask for help from family if you need it, vent on here as much as you need, and get yourself seen by a HCP when you feel ready.

I didn't think I could be more pissed off with H (he doesn't even get the D in inverted commas for this post!)- I'd kicked him out to the spare room a few hours ago but needed the changing mat, so went in. Asked if he remembered last night, he said no so I explained what happened and I didn't even get a fucking apology! Sorry for swearing.

[fedupofrainydays]

I've been awake since 4 - so annoying! Baby only took one boob so been awake with throbbing other boob now downstairs expressing. Why can't I just sleep!

[ExcitedCJ]

Splendide I'm up if you need to chat. I'm so sorry you are having a tough time. Go easy. Things will look a little brighter soon.

I love the 'D'H chat. My D'H has been in the spare room since I was 7mths pregnant. We would have divorced by now if I had to watch him sleep, listen to snoring, smell drink off him, watch him pick up baby after a drink etc etc.
I told 'D'H that I was going to try and put DS down for night, after he said last night "you just need to decide on a bedtime for him & stick to it!" So tonight I decided I would take his 'sage' advice & took DS off to bed at 7pm. I left 'D'H in living room saying, I'll tidy up and make food etc etc. So I tried to put my DS down at 7ish tonight after bath & quiet time. I fed him in the dark &
he fed from 7 - 7:45pm. I then swaddled him & held him for 20 mins & he got drowsy put him in bed with a dummy & he eyes jumped open & he started to scream! I tried all manner of things for a further 40 mins to no avail. When I surrendered & took DS back to living room 2 hours later 'D'H was sitting reading the newspaper on his laptop & nothing had been done!!!!!! Grrrrr.