September 2014 Babies leave the newborn stage behind. Thread 2

[SeptemberBabies]

New thread because our initial thread is about to max out.

For babies born around September 2014 - or just before for early arrivals and just after for late arrivals.

I was only with friends for tow hours as was called back then because he would not stop crying; Overall I was out for 3.5 hours which was the longest I was away but more importantly it was his bed time
I asked dh to call me if ds cried non stop, because if I knew I'll get the call I would be able to relax while out... I knew this could happen as he relies massively on boobs for settling down at nights; according to ds he had some EBM and slept and was put in bed but woke up after a while and was inconsolable then no matter what dh did...
We have to make some changes in our routine

Holls another not so soft approach is to leave the baby to dh and go out... Let him get on with it...Find a good excuse for the first time you do that

nazly I think he would have a coronary!!

team I totally agree it's lack of confidence. but he won't learn because ge might get it wrong..... !!!! no to food or chores!!!!! he is great with b when b isn't crying :-) and when he is at 2am and I am doing bottle.

He really needs to step up and help out more. Maybe write out a list of all the things he could do to help out, either with the baby or around the house, and get him to choose five that he will learn to do, then teach him and they will be his jobs from now on. You can't do everything on your own, he needs to be your partner, contribute and support you. Be firm with him, don't give him a choice, gently but firmly tell him what you need.

Holls I think my DH lacks confidence too to do things with Jessica on his own, although I will say he does try. Prior to this weekend though I had only left her with him once and he went straight to his sisters with her, and from what I can gather left her to do most things as he didn't know what to do with her! I do think it's nerves though. I'm gradually going to try getting him to do more with her on his own. Last weekend I made him bath her on his own for once. And on Thursday I told him I had a hair appointment for Sat and he would need to have Jessica whilst I was out. I was only out for like a hour and a quarter so thought it was a good way to ease him into having her on his own. He coped well, despite Jessica suddenly deciding she was ravenously hungry and finished all her EBM so he had to give her some hungry baby formula milk afterwards (which we usually only give her at night to fill her up for a bit so we can all get some sleep). In particular I want him to get more practised at putting her to bed, as she never seems to settle as well for him as she does for me. Nazly your experience has made me a tad anxious as I've got my first evening out on the 12th of December (work Christmas party) and I'm worried how he is going to manage having her the whole evening on his own and settling her to bed when I'm out. Hmmm.

Hmmm. Think to be on the safe side I'll have to abstain from drinking so I can drive to the Christmas party, and then can drive back if I need to without waiting for a taxi / lift if things go really wrong at home. A sober Christmas party. Rubbish. Also, and I know this sounds stupid, I'm actually quite nervous about seeing all my work colleagues again. I haven't seen most of them since the summer and I feel like a bit of an outsider now. And if they all end up talking about work stuff I'm going to be completely out of the conversation. Anyone else going to their work Christmas parties?

I second just leaving the baby with dh. They then have no choice but to get stuck in and manage.

I had an evening out last night aswell, we left DS with the pils. They have him a bottle of expressed milk, to be fair quite a lot later than his normal bed time, but he then fell asleep and I managed to get him home and into bed without waking until his normal night feed time. So a different experience here. I wonder if it was the complete change though, so I wasnt 'missing' from his normal routine, he was doing something totally different which actually made it easier.

Christmas party- I'm going to a lunch, rather than the party. I have seen my colleagues though and it was fine, lots of baby chat (instigated by them not me!) and lots of me saying 'oooh tell me what happened then' and just trying to catch up on what I'd missed by asking questions. It was fine :)

Welcome to chickenstew

I was to go to xmas party but having second thoughts after yesterday

Kitkat don't be nervous, I have a very specific issue in that ds associates sleeping with boobs and cuddles; he was never put in bed any other way, he doesn't even nap during days unless he has some boobs... He get agitated if offered bottle when he is tired ... If you even have a small time between feeding and bed or if you give him a bottle without problems before bed it is unlikely you'll have any problems

I have to keep ds upright for half hour after feed because of reflux, he falls asleep then so he doesn't know what self soothing is

Just found this link for a transition plan which matches my ways and my approach -if it works...
kellymom.com/bf/normal/comfortnursing/

Chickenstew I agree, I am missing it already and it is going so quickly

I will be going to my xmas party kitkat but I've kept in touch with work (my boss is also one of my best friends and I see her several times a week). I also take Emily in to see the girls every other week. I'm doing my 10 KiT days starting xmas eve as my boss/friend is going on holiday and I'm really the only person who can cover her, I'm back to work at the end of Jan anyway so it will be nice to have a practice run while DH is off and I don't have to drive to childminders and parents to drop her off on the way.

Holls. Tell (don't ask) DH that you are going Christmas shopping next Saturday afternoon and so he needs to look after B.

Deliberately when he has football so that he understands his priorities. Make sure you have a big stock of milk in the fridge, ready made in bottles, for Saturday afternoon.

He is just as much of a parent as you are. Just like you he has to learn, will make mistakes, needs to be able to go through the trial and error of settling a screaming baby to learn what to do next time. Sometimes how he deals with the baby will be different to the way you would, but different is OK.

Dh is finally getting better at being with Eli, he flat out refused to bath him until recently. He jokingly said he was worried about him drowning. But I actually think that he was. He has helped loads and has now started getting in with him! Which is a huge change!

He also got ridiculously excited when we went out on a walk and he carried Eli in a sling. So nice to see.

Eli is pushing himself up quite well when on his tummy!

does anyone else get into bed wondering if it's worth going to sleep cos entirely possible their LO might wake up shortly?!?

I was just having exactly that debate in my head! Put DD down at 7.30, so she could wake any minute, or she could go through for another couple of hours. Might just sit in bed and read for a bit will fall asleep in about three minutes.

ditto. and im weirdly not tired. but know that if I don't go to sleep I will feel hideous tomorrow!!!!

I'm having work done at the dentist tomorrow (two fillings). Does anyone know if breastfeeding will be affected by the fact that I'll be having a local anaesthetic?

DH is having the day off because I'm feeling a bit stressed about going and want some help if I'm feeling tearful and incapable for a few hours when I'm done.

Have expressed milk available if needed.

I had a general anaesthetic with my emergency C-section and was breastfeeding within an hour. So I assume I will be OK? Not sure though.

So I got up at about 4 with DS. He has a chesty cough and every time I put him down he was struggling to breathe. Dh was getting stressed as he has work and had hardly any sleep so I figured I'd just get up. DS has slept quite nicely in his bouncy chair, I didn't even need to bounce, I think the angle just helped. I had propped his crib up at one end but it obviously wasn't enough. Looks like I'll be calling the doctors once they open. . So tired... Glad we have no plans for today!

Fate good luck at dentists.

DS went 7-2 so I was all cocky. Then he woke at 4 with wind which hadn't really sorted itself out.....cockiness gone once more

Fate - the NHS page says locals are fine. Hope it goes ok! www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/lifestyle-breastfeeding.aspx#Medicines

Honey - your poor little DS, and you for the lack of sleep! Hope it is nothing too serious.

honey hope ds is ok.

He's ok, a little grumpy but still managing to feed ok and I've had the odd smile. Got doctors at midday. He did sleep in his bouncer quite well but he's still tired. I think we shall be doing nothing today except a walk in the pram up to the surgery. It's probably just a cold but as he is so chesty would rather get it checked. Might be putting the bouncer in my bedroom tonight so at least I can sleep in my bed!

Hi all. Back from the dentist, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Dentist says bf is fine, she hasn't needed any expressed milk at all.

Honey hope your DS gets well soon. xx

Fate pleased dentist went okay. xx

Am feeling a bit 'meh' today. Visited DH's family yesterday and there was another lady there who is not related to us. It was clear she had a LOT of opinions of parenting. She kept going on about things like babies needing various strict routines for day naps and things (which Jessica doesn't have) and you could practically hear her roll her eyes when she found out Jessica was currently fed on demand rather than to a schedule. Then to top it off I mentioned (to someone else in the room) that I have to go see my boss at some point this month to confirm what shifts I'll be working when I go back (which isn't until next Sept but I need to send off for her nursery place in Jan and confirm what days I need to book her in for). She felt the need to launch into a speech about hard it'll be for both me and Jessica when I have to go to work and definitely had an undertone of 'children should be with their mothers not in a nursery'. It's not like I have any choice. This year's maternity leave we are only managing financially by living on savings. There's no way financially I can afford to not return to work or only work part time. Why make me feel so shit about it?

kitkat she sounds horrible. I don't understand why people are so forceful about parenting sometimes. It's none of her bloody business how you are raising Jessica. You're her Mother and therefore no one else knows best but you. As hard as it may be just try to take no notice.

DS has a virus, doctor listened to his chest and it's all clear which is good. Just need to keep him upright if he's uncomfortable and feed frequently to keep his fluids up. Glad I had him checked. Looks like I'm going to have my hands full for a couple of days! (Well more than usual!)

Oh and fate I'm glad dentist was alright :)