September 2014 Babies leave the newborn stage behind. Thread 2

[SeptemberBabies]

New thread because our initial thread is about to max out.

For babies born around September 2014 - or just before for early arrivals and just after for late arrivals.

Jessica was so-so over Christmas. She had a tummy ache Christmas eve (I think she was constipated) so was full-on screaming a lot of the day. She was fairly good on Christmas day and Boxing day though, although did cry during both meals (we had one with my family on Christmas day and one with DH's family on Boxing day). She was definitely over-stimulated and over-tired on Christmas day evening though, and we had two hours of crying until she finally settled. On the plus side she seems to be getting the hang of sleeping at night (she did 9.30-7 last night) which has been bliss! I intend to fully make the most of it until the infamous 4 month sleep regression!

Overall we had a good Christmas but every year it does involve us driving all of both days to visit family and it's been quite knackering. Looking forward to a nice chilled weekend.

Dh experienced our first Poonami yesterday. So glad I was out , he wasn't happy when he was telling me all about it haha.

Little worried today though, as since the poonami A has been off his bottle. I think its a coincidence as he also seems to be teething, but I was laughing to DH that maybe he was scared to eat in case he had another one

Your first poonami?!?! We have roughly one every other day, sometimes more than one a day

Well, after
one great grandmother, six friends (including a two year old and an eight month old and a marathon ten hour journey last weekend,

we have survived
two sets of grandparents, one cousin, one aunt, one uncle, two honorary grandparents, one honorary aunt, two great godparents, two great god cousins (and partner), a great aunt, a great uncle, two cousins once removed (and partners), two second cousins, two friends and one unholy journey along the A50 in the snow after dark in the snow.

Our Christmas miracle is that DS not only has survived but has been very good. He is obviously very very tired now though!

Only an aunt, an uncle, three friends (including a two year old) and my parents (again) to go before DH goes back to work - probably for a well earned rest.

I got DH to give Jessica her bath this morning - I'm trying to encourage him to do more with her on his own to build up his confidence (and give me a break). But honestly, I sometimes wonder what on earth he is thinking. He has put her in a vest with shorts. SHORTS. It is bloody December. Now if I change her he'll take it as a criticism, and if I don't, poor Jessica will be bloody freezing all day.

kitkat oh thank.god thats the sort of thing my oh would do. if he dressed him. ever.

santa seems to have sent me a son who sleeps. xmas eve 7-4, 4.30-8, xmas night 8-5.30, 6-9, last night 7.30-6.30, 7-9. is that normal?????!!!! I think he likes the space in travel cot.

holls Eli loves my mum's travel cot and would quitell happily sleep in there all night long! His crib on the other hand is really hit or miss! They are similar sized as well.

Dh is reluctant to bathe Eli, but will happily get in with him when I am! Odd.

He did dress him this morning but into pj's. But hey at least it's warm!

If DH is going to dress the baby I always put clothes out for him. To his credit, he sorted out a poonami on his own for the first time today. Usually he panics and calls me to "assist"

KitKat - Tights under shorts is the answer. I've not put any summer clothes for baby into her chest of draws. Men just tend to grab the first thing they lay their hands on when it comes to clothes.

I have a vomiting 5 year old and so DH has taken baby and two older children to pil family party on his own. I'm snuggled in a duvet on sofa with my poorly boy - rather than having to make polite conversation with people I hardly ever see. Bliss!

Baby will be exhausted when she's home - all the passing around and cooing.

drawers, not draws (I think!)

Men just tend to grab the first thing they lay their hands on when it comes to clothes.

I think this incredibly sexist to be perfectly honest, and lets men off the hook by having to simplify it to that level. 'Men' don't do this. Lazy people do. DH can manage to dress his son just fine and I don't think this is purely because he has a boy rather than a girl. He likes clothes and we've gone shopping for baby clothes together including before DS was born.

Its not hard to pick out an outfit for a girl or boy. The rule of thinking about whether you would be cold wearing something similar really isn't rocket science. Its about whether you have an interest in doing it.

Don't make excuses for partners who frankly can't be arsed to engage their brain. They manage to dress themselves and buy their own clothes don't they?

My husband doesn't tend to care what his baby daughter is wearing. She is adorable no matter what.

To him, it matters not one jot if she is wearing an orange and pink striped top with tartan trousers. He neither notices nor cares.

We do not have summer clothes in her drawers because DH often gets her dressed ('cos he's a fantastic Dad like that ) and he doesn't care what clothes she is wearing or if they go together. I love the mish-mash she is often dressed in and find it endearing and sweet.

If she is cold, he will fetch her a blanket. If she is hot, he will take a layer off. He does not need me for either of these tasks.

I know lots and lots of Dads who are the same. Mums tend to take more care in choosing outfits. Personally - I think that not in the slightest bit sexist.

"Don't make excuses for partners who frankly can't be arsed to engage their brain"

RedToothBrush. Don't you ever make assumptions like that about other people. Rude post.

I would love dh to dress ds. he has a massive confidence issue with it so doesn't. at inlaws for xmas. dh and dfil and dbil gone to pub. again. I'm doing bath on own. again. dh had said he would learn how to do it over xmas and I feel hugely let down by him and the fact that he has been so easily swayed by the family. my fault. hormones have kicked in and I seem to be spending every evening feed crying. ridiculous and so cross with myself.

He's got to learn holls, just like you had to learn. No-one eased you into motherhood slowly and gently. One day your pregnant, the next you are on this massive steep learning curve of parenthood. Your DH has to do the same and just like you, the best (and fastest) way to learn is to be thrown in at the deep end.

I would just hand over baby and say "your doing bathtime tonight". He might make a hash of it the first couple of times, but he'll soon learn.

Likewise getting baby dressed. "Baby need his nappy changing and getting dressed. You know where his clothes are".

Not your fault at all Holls. Why are you crying with the evening feed?

*you're

They manage to dress themselves and buy their own clothes don't they?
Barely! Well, he could, but I might not walk down the road next to him

Holls - sorry your DH still isn't helping out. Maybe when you get home?

I'm sorry but I found YOUR post very rude.

Its sexist. End of story.

I do think there is a difference between your husband and mine. That's why I really object to the sweeping generalisation. The point was about dressing appropriately for the weather more than making them look pretty. Would your husband wear shorts and t-shirt in this weather? That's the issue.

Its one thing to lack confidence in doing something. That's fair enough. But don't excuse them on the basis on their genitals. That's something totally different. We are talking common sense rather than confidence here.

I personally am not confident in giving DS a bath as I'm scared of dropping him. DH does it most of the time and is trying to help me with my confidence in doing that. That's because I'm afraid of my child's welfare. Not considering the implications of your baby getting cold is poor form because its a welfare issue.

Sorry I wasn't meaning to cause any disagreements. I should say in DH's defence that he's having back surgery on tues and I think he is worrying about it (we both are to be honest) and so his mind is elsewhere. Plus he is an excellent dad in general, and he loves her to bits.

Holls if ever want to talk please feel free to pm me. Does your dh know you are crying and struggling this much? Hugs. xxx

bless you all. Not sure why I am crying. Think I feel a bit left out that all gone to pub each evening and I can't. stupid I know.

Kitkat, I understand issues with confidence a lot. DH had experience with babies in general and had to help me when I had DS as I was terrified. I'm talking changing nappies here too.

My point here is more than there is a fine line between lacking confidence and common sense. And there are times when a kick up the arse is appropriate as well as encouraging and trying to build confidence. Its a balancing act. If its something where there is an issue that involves well being, don't be afraid to say as its your daughter that suffers otherwise.

No it's not stupid at all. You're feeling isolated and depressed and that's really hard to deal with. When you get home arrange a night out with friends. Tell your DH you are going out on x evening. You need a break too and a chance to socialise. xxx

Tights and shorts in winter are quite cool anyway KitKat. My 10 year DD has been quite into thick tights and shorts at the moment.

I've encouraged her into the 80s roller disco look - fluorescent and black striped tights under shorts with legwarmers and DMs. Oh yeah B-)

I hope your DH's surgery goes well. I had (emergency) spinal surgery back in 2006. I felt like I could run a marathon within 6 weeks of the surgery.

Hope for a speedy recovery for your DH

Ohh, posts while I was typing.

holls - if it was me I'd just tell DH I found it unfair him going to the pub so much and that I didn't want him to go so much.

Another option that works for some people would be to take baby to pub with you so that you could join in?

Its not stupid. You are being let down Holls when you need support. Your DH's priorities are not right. I'm sure you would be feeling much better about your DH going to the pub if he'd made the effort he promised and that's the issue - not the fact he's gone to the pub in itself.

Its about you feeling like he's taking the piss by not taking on the responsibility and expecting you to take it all.

It makes lacking confidence look like an excuse rather than a genuine issue as he's not putting in the effort to change his confidence problems.

Like I said before its a balancing act between kick up the arse and building confidence...