October 2014 (including some september early arrivals) the wonderful and crazy newborn days

[fedupofrainydays]

Thread to share the newborn news and support each other through the 'eeek what do I do?' When the baby gets home and you stare at it in the car seat and think - help!!

I think I will try swaddling if our room is 21 degrees what should baby wear under swaddle? And would you put blanket on top?
At the moment she wears short sleeve vest and sleepsuit plus 2 blankets.
For past 3 nights v has been feeding all evening wide awake from 9:30pm till 3:am then sleeping for 5 hours (I'm up after 3 hours for other 2 kids) mil was up with them earlier but doesn't keep her voice down so I was awake too. Then she came to gp with me I asked her to hold v whole I was waiting and after 5 mins handed her back saying her arm ached.
Last night she was supposed to put Ds to bed but said she was tired after reading him 1 story so I did it (v was sleeping and I should have been too)
She just sits on sofa watching tv and has coffee and food. Washing needs to be done ad does dishwasher and hoovering you can clearly see the place is a mess! OH has been doing everything to look after me and the kids and he's not sleeping either.

Oh dear me sounds like you need to tell her to come home to be honest! Maybe have a chat with your OH about how you're feeling?
Dylan is in a sleep suit, knitted blanket swaddled, a sheet and a cellular blanket. Our house is quite chilly so he has a short sleeve vest at night too.

Go home not come home!!

mrs I know! OH just got home after being on the road all day and he had to go straight out again. He just rang me and couldn't believe she hadn't done anything even clean kitchen. We are trying to think of a delicate way to phrase the suggestion for her to go early! It's stressing me out more her being here.

Me my in-laws arrive tomorrow and I'm dreading them being just how you describe. I know it'll basically mean me and DH cooking for two extra people (MIL can't fathom cooking dairy free even with us providing all ingredients and instructions), vvvvv overweight FIL eating everything in the cupboards usually going for me and Jonas' dairy and soy free goodies first(!!!! ) and whilst they like chuckling at DS antics they wouldn't do anything useful like change a nappy, get him dressed or give him breakfast. I'm trying not to be a passive aggressive harridan but I don't fancy their odds given I'm on edge and they've not even arrived here yet.

Think Lil's CMPI has kicked in - comfort feeding, eczema, colicky, reflux, abdominal discomfort, awful noises and unsettled at night. Bugger. Still at least the sceptical ILs who are all "oh we didn't have food allergies in my day" (but whose own DD didn't sleep for longer than 20 minute stretches until 2+ and whose 'colic' was so bad FIL was given Valium) might get to witness it up close in the wee small hours and stop being so .

God Me your mil sounds useless! Can you grab a nap when the kids are at preschool/school? Can you say to her 'please load the dishwasher?' (On the off chance she's one of those people who just don't see what needs done!). Otherwise your partner needs to step in as you're suffering (and I'd end up in tears if I had to point out her uselessness).

I totally agree with all that stuff about the shock of postnatal. I really struggled first time around. Luckily, this time I have enough bigger clothing so that I can technically wear non-maternity jeans (which I psychologically enjoy!). And I know that there are random aches (lower back, shoulders) that pass eventually. Tbh I feel physically ok mostly now (10 days post birth) but am taking it easy as dh is still off.

Thanks to whoever posted that link to postnatal life in the US - I've found people pretty good here (everyone shows up with food - soup, salads, quiche, trail mix type snacks), friends leaving their older kids at home and not staying longer than an hour. Much better than my friends in London (we were the first to have kids - only one friend ever dropped off food!). But the 'getting back to normal' quickly is mad. But then I have friends and family back at work from 6 weeks here, so I guess you have to be up and out if you want to enjoy your v short maternity leave.

Yellow the FIL eating dairy & soy free food would make me lose my sh*t! I'd be labelling it with 'hands off - for yellow and J ONLY!'. So freakin' selfish. I also hate all that 'in my day there was no such thing as XYZ...'.

My LO wears short sleeve vest, Babygro to bed then miracle blanket swaddle and a cotton blanket doubled over and tucked in.
If it's chilly we put a v fine merino wool blanket on top

Before I left to get Ds (original plan was for her to get both kids so I can rest then she said she wasn't sure of the way even though she did it this morning!) I asked her to clean kitchen surfaces I've got back to find them barely touched! And that's coming from a slattern like me.
Yellow sounds like both if us are going to be stressed the next few days.

School run took it out of me. Haven't had chance to sleep today with gp appt then schhol run.

Is it normal to still be getting night sweats & hot flushes 10 days after birth? My milk has been & gone? I dont remember this from last time?

stigz I'm 10 days gone and still sweating at night. It's a grim experience.

Hi all - DP went back to work today. I've abandoned the idea of sleeping at night and just camp out on sofa watching tv whilst feeding LO. So went to bed at 7am and got about 3 hours, hopefully I'll be allowed a couple more hours later. Counting myself lucky that I can be this flexible.

Today has been one big screamfest with an unbelievable amount of feeding. Maybe this means he'll sleep tonight . . .

stigz I'm 4 weeks tomorrow and am still getting them it could for me be a anxiety thing though.
Me23 how did you get on at the docs? Looks like I definatly have developed GAD doc wanted me straight on meds but I'm going to try CBT first I don't want to take them unless I really have to due to BF

OMG I would have totally lost it if my IL were staying and being like that. So unhelpful. Feeling your pain me

So... Bit confused yellow if you had gone dairy free why does L have all the CMPI symptoms? Am I being super thick? Sorry it seems to have reared it's ugly head though :(

Anyone recommend a good cheap sling for round the house? Got my ergo for out and about which I love but it's not something you can just stick them in to make a cup or tea!

Fed up it takes 3 weeks for dairy to leave your system and another 3 to leave theirs so she's reacting to the dairy from before I cut it. I've also tried to keep in soya and dairy traces but I think she's reacting. Jonas couldn't even tolerate me eating stuff 'made in a factory which handles dairy'. I think she's reacting to me eating Warburtons bread (which contains soy flour) and Walkers crisps which are made in a factory which handles milk. Bugger. Its a delayed allergy (non IG E mediated) so symptoms build gradually from exposure rather than appearing within hours. Yes I had to learn far too much out about this last time!!!!

gun do you know how long you hae to wait for the cbt? Hope not too long. There are some meds that are suitable when bf.
I had some good news at gp as my Bp was ok she has taken me off one of the Bp drugs. This made me so relieved I totally forgot to mention the anxiety. I'm seeing her again next week so if it's still the same I will talk to her about it.

I would be going nuts if my mum or il's were like that. While my mum was here we had breakfast in bed each morning, she cleaned our oven, cooked and did general cleaning. I didn't want her to go home! We have friends visiting now and they are cooking us curry

me i have done cbt, think it took 6 weeks for first appointment

They didn't say how long it would be me

Did it help stigz ?

I did cbt when I was 18 ( I was suffering from extreme anxiety) I was a complete wreck before it and it really helped me get my life back.

OH has spoken to his mum and has asked her to go home tomorrow, he told her I'm finding things tough at that minute and need to be with just him.

Good luck with the CBT gun, hope you get seen quickly.

Me and yellow your in laws sound awful! Anyone visiting when you have a newborn should be helping out, not making more work for you. Can't believe your MIL doesn't even think to load the dishwasher, I'd be tempted to send her home.

I missed your last post while I was writing me, glad to hear your OH has dealt with his mum. Did she take it OK?

gun yeah it did help, it really helped talking to a stranger and hearing my worries said aloud was really strange but helpful, they make you think about your anxiety in a diffrent way and get to the root of the problem, i felt so much better after attending and will probably ask for another referal when im ready to come off my medication, im glad you went gun and are taking postitive steps to dealing with it, that will make you feel a bit better, knowing that you are doing something before it get worse, fingers crossed you get appointment asap xx

Love our friends for making us tea but please go home now, I want to go to bed

hefner other half said she was fine about it. I'm so relived. Myself an Dp are still in disbelief about how she has acted the sole purpose of her coming was to help, somehow that message was lost on her. Oh well at least she's going so I won't be getting stressed out by it anymore.

mrs I hope your friends leave you to sleep soon.